Do not want a divorce

PersimmonOk5391 · 2024-04-19T07:29:15+00:00

Do not sign anything without a lawyer looking over it, but I do not recommend refusing to engage with the process at all. The divorce is happening, it doesn't actually need your signature to go forward - but without it, the court will ultimately grant a final order that basically gives your ex anything she can legally ask for. Don't know if kids are involved here but you do not want it getting to that stage if so. This is how so many dudes get pushed out of their kids' lives.

Business-Hope-5414 · 2024-04-14T18:54:20+00:00

Money talks… get a good lawyer.

Maseworld · 2024-04-13T13:47:20+00:00

Gotta fight back. Demand respect. Lawyer up and take the fight to her. As for the other man thing, he can have her. Doesn't seem like she's worth keeping anyway. Old saying, plenty of fish in the seas, probably ones that will treat you a hundred times better than this one.

UseResponsible4368 · 2024-04-12T06:11:33+00:00

I think Robin Williams the comedian/actor said "You're never more lonely than when you're with somebody who doesn't love you".

Life is going to get better, but you've just entered the tunnel. You can't see the light at the end yet, nor the rich valley it leads to.

captainchippsixx · 2024-04-12T04:06:14+00:00

Not with your current mentality. She has no respect for you. That’s why she is bullying you. She sees you as weak and gives 2 shits about you.

Tell her to F off and for her to move out. Be indifferent. Don’t talk to her. Get a lawyer.

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-04-12T02:46:51+00:00

I can’t over emphasize how okay it will be, and how getting over her and her cheating is something you can do. Millions of men have been through this, they turned the page, and moved on. Millions of men are being cheated upon as we speak. losing a cheating woman is a blessing. dont overcomplicate your thoughts and ask questions. just drop her and move on. Karma is real.

dnbndnb · 2024-04-12T01:19:05+00:00

Bro’, she has already thrown you away some time ago. If the terms are acceptable AND a lawyer has reviewed it, get it over ASAP.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2024-04-12T01:09:31+00:00

If she refuses, give her what she wants. Sorry brother I know exactly what you’re going through. Mine left after 27 years and the multiple affairs I discovered. I fell into a deep depression and struggled for 3 years to dig out.

WittyBeautiful7654 · 2024-04-12T00:14:39+00:00

Sorry man I really am. Best to sign it and try and move forward. This time will suck and hurt like fuck. It starts to get a bit better at the three months mark. Focus on you, hit the gym get off social and get a lawyer. Start looking for a place to live. Pack your stuff and get it out of y'alls house.tall to a therapist

Mister_Vandemar · 2024-04-11T23:05:34+00:00

I’m sorry. It will be okay. She’s not throwing you away, she’s quitting the relationship. It doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person. It doesn’t even mean that you’re a bad husband. It just means that she isn’t the partner that you wish she was.

It’s hard, and it isn’t going to get easier anytime soon. Listen to (some) of the advice you’ll hear and focus on taking care of your physical and mental health. Consider counseling for yourself. Either stop drinking or at the very least avoid drinking to excess.

You’ll get through this. It’s awful, but you can get through this. Find yourself a good attorney.

Substantial_Bar_8476 · 2024-04-11T23:02:16+00:00

Remember who you were before you needed someone else to complete you.

Strict_Magician_2796 · 2024-04-11T22:25:00+00:00

The best advice I can give you is to let her go and learn to accept it. After some time you will come to realize that having a partner who doesn't love or respect you is a far worse fate. Take some time to focus on yourself, do what makes you happy and become the best version of you possible, that is how you come out on top.

Desperate-Band-9160 · 2024-04-11T22:18:46+00:00

Im in the same boat. Currently refusing to sign. Ive got a divorce lawyer for custody of our child, just started marriage counseling and its rough af. Everything leading up to divorce is not all her fault at all but the poor lack of communication and understanding is overwhelmingly her. Shed rather fight and fight and fight instead of just talking it out.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-11T22:17:19+00:00

A woman’s greatest power is your unawareness of female nature, and her ability to exploit your unawareness of female nature.

Lean_BigDaddy · 2024-04-11T22:07:05+00:00

Bruh, trust us, we know its hard, and including the initial thoughts of her being with someone else, but shed a few tears in private or with close bros, and take the advice of many men here, heal up as soon as possible, work on yourself and it will soon be behind you. You will embrace and love your new freedom, and if you better yourself (money, physical, etc.), it won’t take long till you will attract ladies better in a lot of ways than her, just sayin!

supcrypto · 2024-04-11T21:29:35+00:00

The sooner you accept it the sooner you can start the healing process. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

MidniteOG · 2024-04-11T21:14:17+00:00

Don’t try and understand; it’ll only eat you alive. You deserve someone who wants to love you

roshi-roshi · 2024-04-11T21:10:53+00:00

It’s impossible to break in. So close, yet so far away. My wife essentially became another person who now no longer speaks with me. 2 months ago it was amicable, my wife said she wanted to be friends and know what I’m doing. No she can’t even be around me. I’m too much of a trigger. Her pain must be so awful that blowing up our family seems to be the only option. I cannot get through to her. It’s so frustrating and is just adding another layer of nightmare to this.

MonarchistExtreme · 2024-04-11T21:06:23+00:00

ship is sailed, they've already had sex with someone else before they bring up the divorce talk

AirSailer · 2024-04-11T21:04:03+00:00

she is demanding that I sign my acceptance of this

Do not sign anything without talking to a lawyer first... Somebody who will advocate for you.

I cannot think of her being with another man

You have to let this go, you can't control it, you have to just accept it. Easier said than done, but you can't stress over something you have zero control over and will happen regardless of what you do.

she is just pressing so hard, cannot she change her mind and move break in

Man, you need to get your shit together. Yes, I saw your post history, she has a massive amount of leverage over you. But it's over, now you're seeing who she really is.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2024-04-11T20:48:33+00:00

She is probably screwing someone that’s probably why she wanted a quick divorce, forget about her bro she has been planning this for a long time. There’s plenty of other women out there but best to just live a single life, the married life is not it now a days

Bluerednaz · 2024-04-11T20:25:50+00:00

Unfortunately what the other user said, you can’t stop it. Most of the time, they have made up their mind, well before they tell you.

My Wife and I were together for 15 years. No serious indications that anything was really wrong. She said she just got tired of fighting for our relationship.

Divorce accepted in December. Out by the end of the month. I thought the same things you probably are. I thought, no way this women I thought I knew so well would move on so quickly. Unfortunately I found out 2 months after the divorce she was on dating apps and hooking up with a few men. A lot of that could have been driven by the fact I took her virginity. And I was her first everything.

Needless to say, it sucks. A lot. But, this is usually much much harder for the person that didn’t want the divorce because usually they are blindsided. And the person that wanted it made up their mind long ago.

All I can say, is try to use this time to improve on yourself. I have been told many many times that this time is a blessing. Which I personally don’t believe quite yet, but I don’t want to let the divorce define me personally

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-11T20:23:02+00:00

I’m right there with you buddy. 15 years together, 3 kids and she suddenly wants NOTHING to do with me. I am absolutely bewildered by how quickly she changed and won’t allow me any chance to even talk to her. When I ask her to talk or ask her to be truthful about why she won’t ever consider reconciling she just says “boundaries” and filed a restraining order so I can’t talk to her anymore. 95% sure she’s talking to another man already, even though the divorce hasn’t even been filed. It’s left me lost and confused in life and I don’t know how to move forward. You are not alone my friend.

Successful_Love_9213 · 2024-04-11T20:14:50+00:00

There's no stopping it. Drop the idea completely, begging has never worked. Work on acceptance.

Call a lawyer to make sure you're getting a fair split and not making concessions to win her back (again, you won't).

Call a therapist and get a gym membership. Occupy your time with anything but her.

You'll get through this and come out better. You deserve better than a person who doesn't want you.

Edit: holy shit your post history. Get a lawyer now. This is not a good person to be in a relationship with, you should be divorcing her.

Title	Do not want a divorce
Author	Excellovers7
Upvotes	13
Comments	45
Date	April 11, 2024 8:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1c1ouyj/do_not_want_a_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/do-not-want-a-divorce.1514781 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514781

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