Am I bugging or is this a real thing? The first thing I thought was “sounds rapey to me” I’ve had this happen to me, but idk how the person could really be sleeping. A lot of folks in the comments agree that it’s a thing.

Splatzy19 · 2020-12-14T12:44:07+00:00

I'm concerned that he had this condition and never had a conversation about it before hand and if it is true that he has such a condition, allowed a potential non-consensual situation to occur.

burpleseaurchin · 2020-12-14T13:24:55+00:00

Idk but I've got this crazy condition where I uncontrollably kick men with sexsomnia in the nuts when their condition acts up. I just can't help it! 🤷‍♀️

oh_shit_oh_fuck · 2020-12-14T12:34:23+00:00

LMAO someone has been watching Desperate Housewives

divination__ · 2020-12-14T14:07:56+00:00

sounds super fake to me. it's 'relatively new' and only 90 or so cases have been documented worldwide. sounds like a rape loophole to me.

KitKat1705 · 2020-12-14T13:11:37+00:00

Is this a law and order SVU episode??? He most likely doesn't have this condition. He is just a man who wants to get laid and pretend like it's beyond his control to not rape women. Sickening.

2020-12-14T14:00:49+00:00

My friends ex "had it."

He was heavily into rape porn, non-con anal and bestiality, too.

Mamma_Midnight · 2020-12-14T13:15:56+00:00

I asked if I should stop him during or anything like that, and he said only if I'm uncomfortable or not enjoying it

WTF? He's telling her there are ONLY specific circumstances in which she can refuse to comply with his actions. How about "I don't feel like it"? That's nothing to do with pleasure or discomfort, but it's certainly a bloody good reason to stop him.

This sounds rapey as fuck.

Plus, he can do whatever he wants to her then just claim "sorry babe I was asleep, I can't control what I do when I'm asleep". And like a good understanding GF she'll just have to accpet HE didn't mean to anally rape her, he was asleep - honest!

And here's where this ends up: Scottish rapist walks free using this defence -- 27 November 2020 -- Charity concerned Fife man’s ‘sexsomnia’ rape acquittal could set ‘dangerous precedent’

ETA: There's another one -- October 2017 -- Man cleared of rape after saying he suffers from 'sexsomnia'

OP's BF is gonna rape her.

ETA2: Fucking hell! How many of these cases are there? This man had 2 cases against him dropped (Hull & Midlothian) despite inflicting serious injuries on his victims. He was finally jailed for 11 years after attacking another 2 women -- May 2016 -- ‘Sexsomnia' soldier who dodged rape trial after claiming he was sleepwalking later attacked two women

_RustInPiece_ · 2020-12-14T14:07:20+00:00

So to this straight:

At first he borderline rapes her while he is asleep. Sleeping and sleepwalking people are not conscious and therefore don't remember what they were doing.
At no point was he concerned with her pleasure. He didn't bother to make her come in this 2 minutes. Side point but an important one because it shows how he doesn't give a shit about her.

After that he stood up, got a towel, came back to bed and APOLOGIZED FOR AN INCIDENT HE WOULD LATER CLAIM HE COULDN'T REMEMBER.

Yes, the flawed logic of a typical rapist.

Of course, the next morning he declares that he can't be held responsible and announces that she can expect the it again ("You can't blame me because I told you so").

He 100% is going to do rape her again.
But not the next night. At the next night he will just watch if she still stays with him. If she does he knows she will accept further abuse. The next night is reserved for testing the waters and grooming her.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-12-14T13:36:16+00:00

[deleted]

Erinelda · 2020-12-14T13:49:21+00:00

I would just assume he was laying there fantasizing about something specific and then used her as a fleshlight. That's why he said "sorry baby".

Edit: That or this was written by a man and that's how "she" can be SO INTO minute man sex but feel a need to investigate it at the same time. And then post a PSA about his interest in sleep rape.

circescircus · 2020-12-14T13:39:16+00:00

Sexsomnia is real, it's a form of parasomnia (abnormal activity while sleeping). It's very rare though, like weird sleep disorders tend to be. Rapists however are not at all rare.

I got sick in my stomach, reading "he was assertive, had a glazed over look in his eye, engaged in varying sexual acts". It's statistically SO much more likely that he is faking it, the assertive and "varying sexual acts" parts is so sketch and so vomit-inducing.

Rapists try to use sexsomnia/sleep sex as an excuse for rape. It's nothing new, cases like that are growing. He's not the first subhuman male to think of this. Any junkyard dog scrote can think of it, the hard part is finding a pickme dumb enough to believe it.

ughthanksbutno · 2020-12-14T14:44:33+00:00

this is a rare condition that, if he had, he would probs inform his GF beforehand, not after an episode. this is a fetish for him and that “diagnosis” is an explanation to make her not question it and to accept very disturbing behavior. this is a rapist’s strategy.

misszazie · 2020-12-14T14:15:37+00:00

I once woke up to my ex pulling off my underwear at 2am. One of the worst feelings I ever had was being completely paralyzed by fear. Even though he was my bf, being touched without permission was a weird nightmare.

After what seemed like forever I was able to get up and leave. I never saw him again.

Reading this makes me so angry.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-12-14T15:43:59+00:00

I got three:

This is a guy test running a scenario on a post to get feedback because he wants to pull this bullshit in real life and wants to know how believable it is. Or...

He's drugging her. Or...

It's rape/porn fiction.

He climaxes...in his sleep. She thinks, "It was kind of rough, so I was down for it." Yeaaaaaah, I dunno.

Then, says..."Sorry babe." She says, "No, it was nice!"

Summerisle7 · 2020-12-14T15:20:49+00:00

a) this is fiction. This is not a real woman writing about a real experience. It's a man with a fetish.

b) who gives a shit if "sexsomnia" is a real thing. It's absolutely not a real "condition". Like, no one's ever been diagnosed with sexsomnia.

And isn't it strange that women never seem to spontaneously have sex with people while asleep???

Men who would force themselves on you in any context can be celibate for life. And god knows plenty of rapists will claim "sexsomnia" to cover for their crimes.

leonie86 · 2020-12-14T12:42:29+00:00

Only certain creeps have it... don’t know not a doctor but sounds made up.

Summerisle7 · 2020-12-14T16:34:56+00:00

[deleted]

Pasdepromesses · 2020-12-14T17:23:06+00:00

My ex did this to me, but only when I took sleeping pills (convenient, right?). When I suspected it, I faked taking them and acted like I was sleeping. It was 100% obvious it was not sleepwalking at all. When I confronted him he raped me and tried to choke me. These sociopaths use it as an excuse.

Also, walking, getting a towel and saying something coherent? Definitely bullshit. He’s conning her into rape.

Edit: he also just remembers to tell her this after he slept with her? It’s almost like he knows what happened last night. /s

Some-King-3636 · 2020-12-14T13:26:20+00:00

This is not a real thing, hilarious how it’s on the DSM yet women’s issues continue to be lumped together and males get new shit added constantly as they continue to make shit up. I will never believe this is real I don’t even care. Sleep sex now? Come on gtfoh

crazykitten27 · 2020-12-14T15:26:57+00:00

This can't be real sounds like an excuse to rape her later or a bullshit lie to cover him coming in 2 minutes and not caring about her orgasm at all. There is no way sexsomiona is a thing.

Mcccy · 2020-12-14T13:30:01+00:00

Sis nah.

brainsandb00bs · 2020-12-14T17:08:46+00:00

So the condition is actually real but i think he is lying about having it. When someone with the condition is having an episode, you can tell they are actually still asleep...and if you interact with them you can wake them up...if she couldn’t tell her husband was still asleep then he probably wasn’t asleep. I haven’t heard of someone with the condition actually have an episode for two minutes or long enough to be climaxing either

Pengtingcalledme · 2020-12-14T12:35:29+00:00

Basically demon possesion

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2020-12-14T14:36:58+00:00

We believe my husband has some form of parasomnia when his very much diagnosed insomnia is acting up and he’s to the level of 3-4 days of no sleep before crashing after taking a bucketload of his sedative medication (Ambien.)He’s carried on full, important conversations when on-call for work that he has no memory of and I believe he might have some form of sexsomnia, but not at all like this.

It’s less rapey and more like the sleep talking that he normally has on Ambien; essentially, he’ll “wake up,” pull me closely to him, pet my arm/hair/back and begin aggressively stating things like: “I fucking love you.” “I would do anything in the fucking world for you.” “You’re so fucking sexy.” “Fucking gorgeous.” I can tell that he’s hard because we’re so close together but if I tap him, move away, or say his name above a whisper, he startles awake and jumps back, despite being sedated and exhausted off 72+ hours of no sleep. So, I just find it hard to believe that someone NOT off their rocker on medicine that’s known to produce sleep walkers, talkers, shoppers, drivers, etc. wouldn’t wake up while making such vigorous movements as sex.

2020-12-14T18:37:23+00:00

Would he fuck his male friend or pet too?

2020-12-14T17:22:39+00:00

This sounds so fake.

Adventurous_Rise_307 · 2020-12-14T18:23:02+00:00

So I had sexsomnia. But it went away along with my sleep walking after my first kid. And idk how it presents for guys, but it was much different from me. More like my ex didn’t know I was sleep walking and came onto me (I didn’t know I sleep walked at this time either, I figured it out not too long after) and I would be into it. I finally figured out what was happening when I woke up naked after having gone to sleep (all by myself) with clothes on, and my mom then recounted two episodes of wierd behavior at night. But like I said, it was more sleep walking episodes, I didn’t come onto anyone, he came onto me and I full on participated in my sleep.

One of many reasons people need to know if they sleep walk.

honeybeeroll · 2020-12-15T00:12:42+00:00

The fact that she said 2 mins of PIV wad. "nice" says everything you need to know about how unhealthy their relationship is and how she is NOT equipped to date.

Also agree with others here that this dude is a fucking psycho who learned about that condition online (new redpill tactic or something?) and used it retroactively as an excuse to manipulate her. Anyone with a condition like that (if this is even a real condition), even one of those crazy aggressive sleepwalkers for ex, would alert someone to this beforehand. Because if you actually had such a condition, you'd recognize it can scare people if they don't know about it. Even the dude who commented it, like take it with a grain of salt but he said it makes him uncomfortable because in that state he can't make sure his wife is consenting. OP's bf didn't seem to have the same concerns

Kimpractical · 2020-12-14T15:07:51+00:00

Ive dated two different guys that have this condition. They tried to have sex with me in the middle of the night and I could tell they were not fully awake. I just pushed them off and they laid back down. They both had a lot of psychological issues and abusive tendencies. Stay away from men that have this condition

BetterToBeLonely · 2020-12-14T20:33:21+00:00

My STBXH did this once. And then the next day he had NO recollection of it at all and accused ME of raping him. It left me very hurt and confused.

He used to have a lot of sleep walking and sleep eating episodes. He seems to have outgrown all of his somnia issues.

squaremarshmallow · 2020-12-15T01:34:19+00:00

Why do women always try to work with wierd situations that don't work for them instead of trying to figure out how to manage it?

Salt_Satisfaction · 2020-12-16T07:54:56+00:00

This has to be fake or he's bullshitting her so hard.

How many times has this worked before?? "Condition" my ass.

Comments