Don’t be settled for

fireforestfairy · 2021-07-12T00:46:55+00:00

Yup. A lot of guys want to date a girl hot enough for modelling or the hottest girl they know. They know these girls are a rarity or uninterested in them, so they go for the hottest girl they can get at the moment while hoping to snag a hotter girl in the future.

ComprehensiveAmoeba9 · 2021-07-12T00:57:42+00:00

This is why being FWB with a guy is a bad idea. You’re being used for sex hoping that maybe one day you’ll get to be his girlfriend, and if a relationship does happen it is because he settled and didn’t find anyone else he’d be more interested in. And who wants to be with someone who didn’t see you as a potential girlfriend at the beginning, just a warm hole to fill the void? LVM will make excuses as to why they didn’t want a relationship at first. They’ll claim it’s because they’re overwhelmed with work, they don’t feel like they have their life together, or they’re still getting over their ex (don’t be a rebound🤡). But a man who is truly interested in you will make time for you and make it obvious that they want to pursue a relationship with you. Being FWB is insulting

More_Pothos · 2021-07-12T01:02:44+00:00

This was one of the biggest eye-openers for me after following FDS. I even started recognizing this trait in seemingly otherwise great guys in my community. So many men will continue a relationship for as long as it’s convenient for them despite knowing there’s no future. It’s one reason why I won’t go 50-50 anymore. That makes it too easy to date me. I’m awesome. Of course men want to be with me when it’s that easy. I’ve had well-meaning people tell me I should “live in the moment,” but I don’t personally enjoy spending my time with a man of just the moment. I want to find someone to share my life with.

MsWriteNow07 · 2021-07-12T02:03:58+00:00

The sad part is, the wife is probably touting the story as a fairytale. “The FWBship that became a marriage.”

Pryras · 2021-07-12T03:33:29+00:00

Just saw a post with 2k+ upvotes in a dating sub about a professor who told his students that “you don’t always get what you want in life” and went on to say that his current wife was his second choice and that it was OK….

NVM / LVM will die trying to get the women of their dreams and do everything besides change themselves and level up. When they realize that the hot high value woman doesn’t want them, they will “settle” with a bangmaid who doubles as a caretaker.

They totally resent her for life and fantasize about “what could have been”….I’ve had male acquaintances in the past bitch about losing the prime years of their life when there’s nothing stopping them from getting the women they actually want (but you know they will never grow up and meet her at her level)

Elegaunt · 2021-07-12T02:36:50+00:00

A man will get married and still be on the lookout for his "soulmate"...without consequences and denying these LVM low effort relationships, this will continue to happen.

LetsGetin_Formation · 2021-07-12T02:58:55+00:00

This is true but also remember most men don’t think any woman is good enough, and if they do snag their “dream girl” aka a woman who is inarguably out of their league, their insecurity will cause them to cheat anyway.

Also know that men will often down play their relationships to other women to keep women constantly judging and in competition with each other. On this post you’re pitying this woman based on what he told you. But behind closed doors I can guarantee you he’d be snot nosed crying if she threatened to leave him. He married her because she’s the best he can do. She’s probably a lovely devoted person and he knows no one else will love him like that. He also gets to create this narrative that he’s some how better than her because he used to call her unattractive behind her back…Now the “female friends” in his life are all looking down on this girl, as if this loser is some prize.

It’s not negating anything you’re saying but it’s important to look at the situation for what it is. It benefits men to tell other women that they don’t really like or are attracted to their wives. Just stop listening to men all together. They’re not worth the energy and they’re NOT the prize.

Thelimitdoes · 2021-07-12T03:13:51+00:00

Jeez that poor girl. Prob none the wiser

MOzarkite · 2021-07-12T23:22:43+00:00

Anyone else old enough to remember Shere Hite-? In her book, The Hite Report on Male Sexuality, she mentioned that multiple men had told her-PROUDLY-that they had deliberately ended things with the woman they truly loved so they could marry a second-best/'good enough' woman, because the woman they truly loved had "too much power" over them. Man, that did a number on me, back when I read that back in the day (1978/age 12).It made me wonder, does this mean that any man who asked me to marry him was settling for me, because I was 'good enough', but he really wouldn't give a shit about me-?

midwesternwinds · 2021-07-12T15:37:40+00:00

That's pretty much boomer marriage in a nutshell. I honestly think the women married because their culture told them they were worthless without a husband (and also because women's lib was on the rise and I imagine LVM were scrambling for ways to keep women down) and the men married whatever girl they could get to ensure they have a free maid to sleep with a few times a week.

MailiCyrus · 2021-07-12T08:47:13+00:00

It is probably one of our worst nightmares to be involved with a man who doesn’t really want us but is holding out for something better, or settling for us

A 100%. Sister speaks for all of us when she said this!

the_ghost_of_ · 2021-07-12T20:36:36+00:00

This. Not only that - But you can easily see what most men are attracted to via their porn habits. If it's the opposite of you, consider yourself settled for. (At least in my experience, ymmv).

Ericaeatscarrots · 2021-07-13T03:18:05+00:00

This reminds me of my NVX. A few days after I dumped him , I heard from a mutual friend he was going out on a tinder date. Literal days. Could not have been more than 4. A few weeks later I was hanging out with the same friend when he called her to bitch about this girl, the friend put him on speaker (he didn’t know I was there and could hear what he was saying) talking about how this “bitch was crazy” and how he was going to have to “end it” and how he hoped she never met me .. (small town, kind of close social circle) Well , 8 months later they are married and all she does is post these big group photos on Facebook with lots of people and smiling faces and their wedding and parties and tests results about wanting a baby and blah blah blah.. every time she posts a big bunch of new photos of their latest greatest happiest event, all I can think is hearing those awful things he said, and how fake it is, and if anyone else knows . It’s truly sad

souredskittles · 2021-07-12T05:01:43+00:00

men will be brutally honest with their friends and confide they have no sexual attraction or deeper attraction for their long suffering partner

I honestly wonder if this is the reason their friends come an try to talk to you after you JUST broke up with their friend. Is it because he was vocal that he thought you weren’t shit so his friends thought flirting with you/trying to get with you was okay because they knew how he really felt? I think I’m on to something here. There’s no way anyone think it’s right to hit on your friends ex, just so awkward and just why

I know I’m not alone in this we’ve all had our exes friends try to hit us up after a break up

Pornruinedsociety · 2021-07-12T11:41:19+00:00

Men who do this are weak cowards.

Title	Don’t be settled for
Author	Ladyofblades
Upvotes	495
Comments	40
Date	July 12, 2021 12:28 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/oig6xr/dont_be_settled_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dont-be-settled-for.791088 https://theredarchive.com/post/791088

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