Gamer Guys

Toomanyprollems · 2020-02-27T18:01:24+00:00

One gamer guy I know in particular was very picky and critical of the appearance of women (pretty much just wanted someone who looked like Jessica Alba) while he himself spent 0 effort on his appearance or any self improvement. I think since he sat around absorbing idealized media of women and spent less time with actual women he has unrealistic expectations of what women look like. I guess that's similar to guys who view a lot of porn.

Also the hobby in itself gives a false sense of accomplishment while the player gains no actual benefits in "real life." So they get the cha-ching feeling of "good job you did it!" without any tangible benefit.

ralviee · 2020-02-27T17:59:10+00:00

LVM are attracted to things that grant immediate gratification: video games, porn, alcohol, drugs, it all pushes the same buttons of “good now forget later.”

Being able to hold off gratification for better reward later is a mark of maturity: high value. That goes for men and women alike.

Rpwintraining · 2020-02-27T18:49:41+00:00

I’m a female gamer myself and had to walk away from gaming and my friends because they are all low value trash.

Smoking weed and drinking energy drinks is pretty much a requirement. Being a lazy fat shit with no job is pretty much a given for these guys, while they rip into every females look that they encounter knowing full well no woman would give them the time of day. Even the married/in relationships ones were trash. The wives were the only ones working to support these Jabba the Hutt Butt pieces of LVM trash with horrible hygiene and wrecked teeth.

I will personally never date a gamer again and have actually dropped my love of gaming forever because of it. I maybe play one game on my own now once a month for 2 -3 hours then just give up because being in that environment killed my passion.

yumiia · 2020-02-27T18:15:14+00:00

[deleted]

honeybeeroll · 2020-02-27T18:31:37+00:00

i think it is possible for a man to have a healthy relationship to video games, because i have seen it, but it is not the norm.

i have known a lot of guys who game. 99.9% of them were LVM. i know exactly one guy who treats gaming reasonably. he is a professional musician and has many hobbies, such as camping, landscape painting, and brewing beer. he has a good relationship with his family and real life people. i think in his case an important element is he plays single player games. he enjoys the art, storylines, and creativity. but he spends a very small portion of his time on these games.

i don’t think there is any way to have a healthy relationship to online, multiplayer games. they are time sensitive if you want results, whereas single player games can be saved and put away for months with no negative effect on gameplay. multiplayer games require a large time investment to get results, and are addicting as well because they activate the reward system of the brain. but they have absolutely no value on self-improvement.

if i had to make a broad generalization i would say avoid gamers. i think when people refer to gamers they are generally referring to those who play online multiplayer games anyway.

Ka_Tetof99 · 2020-02-27T19:41:29+00:00

I mentioned this elsewhere in another comment about this topic, but it’s all about escapism. So many men are desperate to escape their lives and their issues and dive headfirst into things that allow them to do that, whether it’s drugs or games or alcohol or buying useless toys.

Plenty of women play video games, but how many posts do you see on relationship subs that have a boyfriend complaining that he has to do all the work because his girlfriend plays games for hours on end? Women are able to get their shit done and balance hobbies and interests. Men just try desperately to escape.

SarcasmSlide · 2020-02-27T18:47:14+00:00

It’s not just young guys, y’all. My stepdad spends every minute of his free time on Second Life having cyber sex with people while my mom does all the labor at home. He’s almost 60 and they’ve been married for 15 years. It doesn’t get better, ladies.

boooooooooooooooooo · 2020-02-27T18:38:54+00:00

There's usually a comorbid addiction involved, whether it's weed, booze, caffeine/sugary drinks, food, cigarettes, porn, or even hard drugs.

Typically not ambitious in their careers, or allow gaming to be more of a priority than attempts to network or advance their knowledge/certifications.

Found on OLD apps rather than real life.

Edit to add: I'm remembering more about my exes who played and I have to say the main thread that links them is escapism. They needed an experience alternative to their lives because they were deeply unhappy and unsatisfied.

VaporwaveVampire · 2020-02-27T18:04:41+00:00

They don’t view women as neutral human beings. The default human beings for some guys is a man, and women are this mysterious “other” that doesn’t poop.

theghettogirl · 2020-02-28T02:17:53+00:00

I call it the Peter Pan syndrome-they hold on to childish things to their own detriment. They don't want to grow up or work on themselves, ever.

They are looking for a mommy. You're their little Tinkerbell for a while until they lock you down. Then hell ensures. If you have kids you'll be the caption hook-always the bad guy to the kids and Dad is always the fun parent.

Don't marry a Peter Pan.

freerollerskates · 2020-02-27T17:44:59+00:00

I think it's a general lvm observation. My husband bought me a second hand engagement ring that I chose myself for £250 (I haggled the price down myself as well) and had to be begged to go and collect so he would have done kind of involvement in the process, and then 6 months later spent £3000 on warhammer figurines.

honestgoing · 2020-02-28T02:10:41+00:00

I won't date anyone who self identifies as a gamer because they are straight up telling me they won't have enough time for me.

Lady_Schmoobleydong · 2020-02-27T18:35:54+00:00

My husband loves video games and unless it’s Mario, I don’t play, care or pretend to care.

When he’s playing, he makes a point to check in with me, and asks me what I want “hey babe, you want the TV? I can switch to handheld,” he doesn’t zone out and he’ll turn it off if I ask, and he doesn’t get stingy with me to compensate for his video game wants.

Don’t enable your partner if they participate in something that is harmful to your relationship or that you hate. You wouldn’t buy them cigarettes if you hated that they smoke.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2020-02-27T21:19:39+00:00

I have family members who are gamers and I'd like to add the following to your list.

4) Fucking broke and cheap.

5.) They spend ALL of their free time on Video games like World of Warcraft or something else.

6.) They are Trump Supporters. Seriously. The vast majority of them voted and will vote for him.

7.) They believe in the TRP bullshit, and they carry misogynistic attitudes. Many times they don't shower, clean up after themselves, cook, or take care of the basics of adulthood (no car. No license).

8.) Leeching. These men are often complete deadbeats and will live at home until their parents kick them out. Once they're kicked out of the house by their parents, they'll move in with a sibling or a cousin. Once the cousin kicks them out, they'll move in with a GF/Partner, or will couch surf from friend to friend, burning each bridge along the way until they're completely socially isolated. They'll begrudgingly get a job a month after their unemployment runs out, and cut off everyone who refuses to enable their subpar miserable existence or allows them to leech off of their resources. They'll begin to go home, go to work, go home, go to work, and spend every waking second not at home or at work, on video games.

STAY AWAY FROM THEM.

namelson3005 · 2020-02-27T21:48:47+00:00

Sis, I have to tell you: never get even close to a guy addicted to video games, fr. My ex was a gamer, and he was anti-social and awkward af. He didn't do anything besides gaming every day. He looked like a HVL at first, bc he didn't act like I was worst for not liking games. But when I bought a tablet instead of a pc, he got super mad at me bc "we couldn't play games together with a tablet", bc the games he played were only available on pcs. I fucking cried. And then he said it's okay and everyone makes mistakes. But that was not a mistake, it was a personal choice. He was an asshole.

barbaramanatea · 2020-02-28T04:52:31+00:00

It’s annoying, because I really like to play board games, the sorta nerdy ones you play with real humans in real life- think Settlers of Catan. And it’s a great cheap non-alcohol-involving way to socialize with adult friends... but there is HUGE overlap with gamer guy circles and I just... hate that toxicity.

RadarFemef · 2020-02-28T06:03:10+00:00

I like playing video games myself, and so I often meet and find common ground with other gamers both men and women.

But male gamers are so often full of toxic bullshit that gets reinforced in the broader culture, and gaming addiction isn’t seen as a stigma as much as drug addiction like heroin or alcohol and so they don’t take it seriously.

honeybunchesofnopez · 2020-02-27T22:15:48+00:00

They’re usually porn addicts too

jetpatch · 2020-02-27T20:32:35+00:00

Currently reading Superbetter which is a book about how to use game dynamics to improve yourself.

If only some of these whining gamers would put together a game which made men high value rather than bothering women they could actually get a good relationship and get rich at the same time.

level_up_always · 2020-02-27T23:31:56+00:00

studies show 20 minutes of video games a day actually benefits problem solving skills etc. anything more than that is bad. i think if someone plays a little bit to unwind after work or on the weekends its ok we all have our escape mechanisms but if it's definitely a yellow flag imo

Shearay752 · 2020-02-27T20:39:56+00:00

I am having this problem right now! He was off on Monday and I went to work so he stayed home. He did do the laundry and dishes but after he picked me up from work he put on the stupid headset and went back to his game. He had been playing all day! On top of this I only see him weekends and he is always finding ways to make me feel like shit when I get mad about his gaming habits. He doesn't want to co-habit because he claims he's not ready but in fact its because he thinks he will have less gaming time. When I ask him to please come on Friday he says he will only come if If I let him game in the living room...like what?! GRRRR

caselaine13 · 2020-02-28T02:01:29+00:00

Honestly, there are some males out there that enjoy games, but it's never their whole life (I think that's when there's concern).
It's okay (like everything) in moderation.

Solid-Liquid · 2020-02-28T00:37:16+00:00

DEFINITELY #2!!! My ex used to complain about how broke he was. I bought him tickets to Pax East last year and he spent $1k there. When we went to Anime Boston together, he spent another k.

I called him out on it, and he said that I need to stop pocket watching and said that it was tax/overtime money 😒.

sweatydeath · 2020-02-27T20:39:48+00:00

[removed]

FemclFleshBeckyBones · 2020-02-28T20:35:54+00:00

A video game is not a substitute for real life! If someone games casually (like others consume tv shows on occasion) that's one thing, but if someone connects through gaming socially in a big way, or spends several days a week every week gaming, it's a huge red flag. Think of all that time wasted that could have spent on leveling up.

Title	Gamer Guys
Author	ladyyninjaa
Upvotes	149
Comments	49
Date	February 27, 2020 5:41 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fafqu5/gamer_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/gamer-guys.751005 https://theredarchive.com/post/751005

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