The real evil men, are those who pretend to be your ‘guy friends’, do everything to make you believe that they truly are your friend and care for you. They cover up for your absence in class, provide you notes, offer you a crying shoulder whenever you’re miserable, assure you that they’re the good guy because they don’t flirt with you unlike allll thoseee other guysss.

Then a few months down the line, or even years if you’re lucky, when they have gnawed away the walls of your heart using their grubby fingers, they whisper to you, ‘Do you want to have some fun with me? No strings attached? And of course, we keep the friendship?’ And you are horrified, but oh so confused, because was he not your dear friend? Are you supposed to doubt your friends? But you love him!

And then comes the real audacity: he tells you, you are friends!! A little fun doesn’t mean anything!! But of course, he says, if you don’t want this, we can always stick to being friends (translation: let’s try hitting on her again after a few months when she trusts us even more). After all, we are the best of friends and he will always be there for you!

If you are like who I used to be, you would accept this generous offer (oh, I have feelings for him and at least I get this, better than nothing at all!) and continue to be trifled with for the next 1-2 years, somewhere between a friendship and a relationship while he flirts and sexts with 20 other women. ‘It’s okay, it doesn’t mean anything, we’re not in a relationship hello!’

But if you are smart, it will be an automatic block and delete. This guy was no friend, it was just a scrote waiting for his opportunity to come out of the gutter. What is friendship if not consideration for you as a PERSON, if not even as the friend you are supposed to be? Do your girl friends start asking you to have ‘fun’ with them?