I'm probably stating the obvious to many of you ladies, but this was a tough pill for me to swallow and I unfortunately learned it the hard way.

I recently met a man who appeared to be HV on paper and in person (at first). He had advanced degrees in a high earning field. He had good style. He had a great apartment and a nice, brand new car. He had interesting hobbies and seemed to live a well-rounded life.

However, he demonstrated LVM qualities when it came to communication and planning dates. I foolishly gave him a second and a third chance, because he seemed so HV in all the ways mentioned above. He shit all over my chances. This scrote did not deserve any of the energy I gave him. I should have blocked at the first sign of LV.

I realized that--subconsciously-- when I had been picturing a N/LVM, it was always an unemployed, middle-aged, mouth-breather who trolled internet forums in his mom's basement. I now know better.

They come in all shapes and sizes, and lurk under false HVM exteriors. I'm finally starting to understand the purpose and necessity of the vetting process.

Stay vigilant, Queens.