How long did it take you to stop randomly cringing during the day while remembering past pickme behavior?

Basic-Fruit-6502 · 2021-06-14T23:25:04+00:00

The more you cringe, the more it shows you have grown! Cringing is a GOOD sign! Don’t be so hard on yourself ok? ♥️

spicyspa · 2021-06-14T23:35:44+00:00

Well it hasn't stopped for me.

If I had known about FDS years ago, I would have been happier and farther along in my personal growth.

myoklife · 2021-06-14T23:38:35+00:00

Uhhhhhnmmmmm....I guess it's been like 30 mins since Iast did?? 😂😭

I love this sub cause I feel like I can experience a lot of collective cringing here without judgment. I have a lot of stories about the horrendous behavior of myself and others, and I hope sharing them here helps someone (or at the very least, makes someone laugh or smile).

undertheunderbelly · 2021-06-14T23:49:34+00:00

At least once a day, mostly when I'm driving. Oh well. At least we'll never make that mistake again.

Lemon_bars_addiction · 2021-06-14T23:56:51+00:00

[deleted]

laffytaggy · 2021-06-15T00:27:37+00:00

Lol! I get flashbacks often but over time, it seems to have decreased. Sometimes something will trigger a random memory of something I didn’t even know I had stored away…then it retraumatizes me. The cringey memories suck but better memories than making cringey moments currently!

azureangel35 · 2021-06-15T00:19:38+00:00

😂 I'll let you know if and when that beautiful day arrives but I'm not holding my breath. I was quite the cringeworthy cool girl. 😖

catlady4u · 2021-06-15T00:39:03+00:00

I still cringe

ucompost · 2021-06-15T00:39:41+00:00

Never? Hmm I don’t think that’s possible But it is Substantially less thanks to therapy. Basically my therapist taught me to just be more mindful and to realize those thoughts are popping up because I don’t think to highly of myself. So now when it happens I take a big breath and go “nope those thoughts are bullshit” and I remind myself of all my current accomplishments and tell myself “those moments do not define me”

It’s possible and it takes a LOT of work and the healing is ugly. But it IS POSSIBLE

thatjimmylove · 2021-06-15T01:13:27+00:00

I just did for a good 30 minutes thinking about my old kinkmeisha ways brought on about how my friend just told me she tried anal and hated it but he liked it so she still does it. I can't see sex the same.

MadamePotpourri · 2021-06-15T02:48:59+00:00

I was at yoga today and I started cringing about what a pickme I used to be during shavasana. Sorry OP can't help you 😂

pickadaisy · 2021-06-15T01:20:54+00:00

I hope it never ends. Keeps me grounded to remember my choices in life. 😂

Pryras · 2021-06-15T05:59:38+00:00

I see old me as a completely separate entity. Like WHO was THAT??

Took me a few years to realize that being a people pleaser will only make you feel miserable inside. I always regret saying yes to a man but have yet to find one time I regret saying no.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-06-14T23:57:09+00:00

Lol, I'll let you know

Nenemae · 2021-06-15T02:26:27+00:00

[deleted]

souredskittles · 2021-06-15T01:24:03+00:00

A long time tbh. I think about 1 year. I think that’s on the lower spectrum. My whole life I’ve been careful about men because I would hear horror stories, that’s the only way I was able to protect myself from years of trauma. I think it might depend on how much you endured.

I would have random flash backs here and there and also when I read a post that reminded me of my past. It’s okay, the embarrassment will subside because you are confident you won’t let it happen again and it becomes a memory that doesn’t affect you anymore.

RabidWench · 2021-06-15T04:42:55+00:00

I still have moments where I think about things I did 20 years ago and my face puckers a bit and then a wave of relief hits. The nice thing is that we've pretty much all been there as a result of social conditioning, and the fact that you're here (and cringing form self reflection) means you've gotten past the worst part. Now it's just learning from the mistakes, and climbing the self improvement staircase.

HereForTheFreeFoodOk · 2021-06-15T12:30:17+00:00

Baby girl don't internalise the pain. That stress is triggering cortisol and stress hormones putting your entire body into stress mode.

Don't internalise - that is exactly what the patriarchy wants you to do. That is their plan for you.

Remember: Society groomed you. It is NOT YOUR FAULT.

Be happy! Be joyful! You have seen the light thanks to wonderful women in this sub!

You are free of scrotacity forever!!!! Hallelujah!!

Now go out there and spread the word to younger women. Be their light.

If one women experiences less pain and disrespect it is 100% worth it.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2021-06-15T04:11:56+00:00

I don't think about it much at all nowadays, but sometimes a lvm scrote from my past (they always come back 🥴) appears and then I am reminded of what a pickme I used to be. I take an ignore approach to them but now I'm thinking that I should probably block them just because they remind me of when I used to be a pickme....

sassenachpants · 2021-06-15T04:49:27+00:00

It’s been a year of FDS- I still do it.

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-06-15T05:03:00+00:00

Still doing it. Cringing right now.

shockingupdate · 2021-06-15T05:26:28+00:00

Been here for about a year. Still cringing over my last two pre-FDS relationships 😬

CroneRaisedMaiden · 2021-06-15T06:38:09+00:00

At least every other therapy session lol jk

MissouriBlue · 2021-06-15T07:34:06+00:00

I’ve four decades of cringe material… it’s an ongoing internal monologue that rarely ceases.

But I see it as a form of Classroom Education. I’m constantly reviewing past conversations and events, and inspecting them with the new lenses I have on!

I play out the cringe scene and role play what I should have done and envision the life I could have had… and how much closer to a reasonable life I could have lived.

It strengthens my resolve to make the best of my remaining years and to get my ass back on some sort of track that resembles the life I wanted. LOL!

I find it therapeutic to pick it all apart and find the manipulation and gaslighting and deceit and embezzlement and devaluation of Me… to identify when it slid off the rails.

I’m getting good at identifying it now!

muricaxoxo · 2021-06-15T07:42:24+00:00

I still cringe!! 😂🤦‍♀️ It's OK we learn and grow up. I feel wiser for it now as I've experienced a lot, see the positives in it :)

ellengau · 2021-06-15T08:47:40+00:00

You might enjoy this https://www.tinglymind.com/posts/you-dont-have-to-cringe-at-your-past-self

jkklfdasfhj · 2021-06-15T10:26:09+00:00

I just read my Reddit posts from my PickMe days and I've grown so much since. I was a naive mess. I didn't cringe, I felt sympathy for my younger self, but also really excited for my current and future self. To levelling up and getting the best that life has to offer!

pinkpoopgtelost · 2021-06-15T09:21:29+00:00

Quite often but I hope that I will stop remembering as time goes by. It’s only been two years or less since i’ve gone from pathetic pickme to, well, the opposite. I am sort of at peace with the fact that I used to be extremely stupid but at the same time I wish I could just forget it. I’ve already mentally detached from that person I used to be

Eli1984 · 2021-06-15T12:15:51+00:00

Still on it from time to time 😅😂 always a good reminder that I changed

_queeeen_ · 2021-06-16T20:27:29+00:00

I’ve started cringing for them and how they treated me. Feels like progress.

Title	How long did it take you to stop randomly cringing during the day while remembering past pickme behavior?
Author	Lemon_bars_addiction
Upvotes	315
Comments	50
Date	June 14, 2021 11:23 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nzzy8x/how_long_did_it_take_you_to_stop_randomly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-long-did-it-take-you-to-stop-randomly-cringing.782162 https://theredarchive.com/post/782162

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