HVM prefer monogamous relationships

JulyParade · 2022-04-06T18:37:22+00:00

The HVM men I know LOVE their wives. Full stop. You've hit the nail on the head - HVM truly value human connection.

One HVM I know used to attend a group activity with his wife. He repeatedly asked an LVM in the group to stop talking about sex/being gross constantly. The LVM didn't stop so the HV couple stopped coming. I see this HV couple happily running a business together, traveling together, raising a family, doing charity work.... it looks awesome. They are married for almost 30 years now. I'm so happy they found each other.

spinsterchachkies · 2022-04-06T15:35:43+00:00

Yes. My dad, my grandpa both are in my opinion as close to HV as I have ever met and both are monogamous. I haven’t met any one that has measured up to the standard they set for me. So, they don’t respect cheaters, or players, or men that disrespect women. They aren’t simps or pushovers either, which men seem to think is somehow related to respecting women. They just have a very firm line in the sand of how women should be treated. And if you don’t treat women respectfully you are considered a weak little bitch. A beta, so to speak.

Inspection-Critical · 2022-04-06T16:01:58+00:00

Yeah, this has been my observation. HV people in general like stability and emotional intimacy. You can't get that from hookup culture, cheating, or polyamory.

Poly people in particular like to insist all the crazy or dishonest people in the poly scene "aren't doing it correctly", then tell me stories about their own relationships and friends in the scene that just prove me right. Non-monogamy attracts abusers and people who are emotionally immature and unstable. I've yet to meet any of the unicorns who allegedly exist.

SayNad · 2022-04-06T17:32:25+00:00

HV people aren't driven by lust - of course they enjoy the sexual side of relationship, but aren't consumed by it, unlike your masses of scrotes nowadays. So it makes sense for them to be monogamous - they have other things to do too, instead of banging and thinking about banging 24/7.

LibFem can argue it anyway they want, but the current state of normalizing porn addiction, open relationship, swinger and BDSM and kink and what-else-have-ya is NOT normal. It is not "empowering", it is sickening.

Why on earth people think rejecting sexual oppression means you must engage in extreme sexual behavior 24/7 and shouting it from the rooftop, I have no idea. What happens to just be normal human being with normal sexual appetite?

ASeaOfQuotes · 2022-04-06T15:46:29+00:00

It usually tracks that HV people sustain a select few positive and fulfilling relationships (friends and family), and have very clear boundaries with external relationships like coworkers, classmates, customers, etc.

atreegrowsinbrixton · 2022-04-06T19:08:48+00:00

yes. my HV boyfriend knew immediately that he wanted a monogamous relationship, and didn't want to waste any time where i might consider going out with other people. also doesn't watch porn. he has been fully invested in ME from the get-go, which is the important thing, because i've never had to question his commitment

Carneliancat · 2022-04-06T16:31:37+00:00

Yss, so true. And I'll just say it--I've never seen an attractive man involved in a pOlYaMouRoUs RelAtIOnsHiP. Just the fugs.

masterofthebarkarts · 2022-04-06T23:21:35+00:00

Most of the HV value people I know either prefer monogamous, long-term relationships or just don't date at all.

I don't think there is anything morally wrong with casual, FWB relationships, but I think most people over the age of 22 have seen that even if they aren't INNATELY bad, they have a tendency to lead to shittiness: broken hearts, hurt feelings, not to mention risk of pregnancy or disease.

Casual relationships are just usually not worth it. They aren't worth the time or emotional energy, and most HV people recognize that very quickly.

LilyMunsterIsQueen · 2022-04-06T18:50:42+00:00

Not even debatable IMO. HVM simply don't hate women (or themselves) enough to live a meaningless life chasing skirts or insist on a "poly" relationship that only he benefits from.

Platipus6 · 2022-04-07T00:20:28+00:00

Agreed. The one HVM I knew viewed dating as "wife or nothing" and didn't use anyone to gratify any urges he may have had. He wanted a whole relationship or he never even asked the woman out.

insurrectionaryINTJ · 2022-04-06T21:52:58+00:00

Yup can confirm, the poly men I knew were not ones I would call HVM in any way. They had very specific categories of porn they preferred. They oversexualized female bodies and they don’t value connection with women, just how they can stroke their ego.

vaguelinen · 2022-04-06T21:45:43+00:00

The first time polyamory came up in conversation with my boyfriend he laughed and said he found it hard enough disappointing one woman at a time. I laughed as well but he’s right. He’s doing his absolute best to be a good partner to me and it’s tough. That kind of self-depreciating humour reflects how seriously he takes it.

AutoModerator · 2022-04-06T15:49:15+00:00

[1] - We Just Launched a Website: wwww.TheFemaleDatingStrategy.com. Click here for registration information. Please also join our Twitter and Instagram Pages for updates!
[2] - Listen to The Female Dating Strategy Podcast
[3] - Please read the FDS Handbook and Wiki before commenting. Repeated comments demonstrating lack of basic sub knowledge will result in a temporary or permanent ban.
[4] - Please REPORT any comments that do not follow the sub rules. If you do not report it, the mods will not see it.
[5] - PLEASE REMOVE ALL PERSONAL IDENTIFIABLE INFORMATION from images (Name, Location, Job description, education, phone number, etc). Failure to remove ID info will result in a 1-2 day ban. Repeated failures will result in a permanent ban.
[6] - This sub is FEMALE ONLY. All comments from men will be removed and you will be banned. DO NOT REPLY TO MALE TROLLS!! Please DOWNVOTE and REPORT immediately.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

t3ddi · 2022-04-11T01:11:11+00:00

I don't think high value behaviour and polyamory equate.

Comments