If you dated men who expressed they were not attracted to women from their own culture, what red flags did they have? What other problematic behaviors and personalities did these men exhibit?

This post is inspired by the train wreck called Shake from Love is Blind season 2, stating how his then-fiancé was an “auntie“ to him. Internalized racism here.

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I am also trying to understand the cognitive dissonance that many men, similar to Shake, get into marriages with women from their own culture that they don’t even sexually desire! In my case, my ex proclaimed he would first of all, never want an arranged marriage and second of all, not get married to a woman from his own culture (and he especially did not like “light skinned” women from his ancestral heritage.) I do know he liked petite women and he was always going on about how hot I was (and i don’t doubt that, the physical chemistry was there.) I genuinely believed he did not want an arranged marriage; at his own wedding, he was Shake to the NEXT LEVEL, totally not looking at his new wife (who was in fact, from his mother’s hometown, light skinned, and plus sized - not his type), averting eye contact with her, not initiating nor reciprocating physical contact such as embraces, and scowling like McKayla Maroney. The eyes had no expression.

How do these men live with the cognitive dissonance? Do they ever “grow to love” what they aren’t attracted to?

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From what I could gather, these men’s entitlement complexes only worsen over the years. No sense of accountability. Perhaps those who have narcissistic tendencies end up having an actual diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.