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sleeeeepie
[–]Silverpool201888 points89 points90 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
All my female friends are better than most men out there. They text to check on you (without an ulterior motive), they truly care, they keep promises, hype you up when you're sad, support your hobbies, respect your time, pull you out of your funk to give tough love when needed, and know exactly when you need a hug. They know how to give perfect gifts for every occasion and have social graces.
No one taught them this, but they made an effort for me and their other friends out of love.
My girl friends (and most girls infact) do that all without expecting sex or money in return, unlike men. The love, respect and empathy is real, and it shows.
[–]tiavargaFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💯💯💯Louder for the Pickmes in the back, Queen.
[–]notroyaltyyetFDS Newbie125 points126 points127 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I actually thought about making a post about this topic because I wasn't sure if I was being too 'judgy' about my friends husbands because most of the time I'm disgusted with them. I'm really protective about my friends so when they are struggling with kids or upset about something I tend to jump on the "what's your husband doing in all this?" And I really reflected on it the other day and realised I wouldn't have settled for any one of my friends partners. And the women with the worst partners are the ones who seem to randomly pity/reassure me that'll 'it'll happen for me one day' despite me never complaining about being single, unmarried or childless. I'm really happy, chilled out, secure, quite frankly I'm bossing it. I don't want to be mean to any of my friends or judge their choices but sometimes I want to point out that I'd never, ever have settled for the life they have, some of them are actually living my worst nightmare, which is perfectly fine - different folks, different strokes.
ALSO (while I'm here anyway) it's also occurred to me that every one of my friends planned their own engagement or gave their (now husband's) an ultimatum in order to get married. Marriage has never been high up on my list of properties but I have been proposed to before and I didn't ask/expect it. I'd hate to think I had to convince someone to marry me, doesn't fill you with that warm glow does it.
[–]freedandelionsFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! All of this. I'm at the stage where my girl friends are pressuring their boyfriends to propose. Its hard to watch. Obviously I talk to them about it and support them but I wish they knew deep down that they are worth way more!
[–]karicharFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I have one friend, ONE, who has a HVM bf I can tolerate. The rest....oh honey
[–]_fuyumiFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I had a "friend" who told me to get serious with this guy I was dating casually bc he "puts up with" me. He was alright, but sis, I'M the prize. At the time I wasn't ready to settle down and he and I just didn't connect, but he was nice enough. I wouldn't choose him now and I'm glad I didn't then.
[–]Historywillabsolvem3FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Queen logic right there
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]CarpedictumFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😳😳😳
Actual words fail me here...
[–]yomommahouseFDS Newbie233 points234 points235 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Oh Lord if this isn't the truth. I had to think long and hard about all of my friends who are in relationships and I can honestly say not one of those men deserve any of them. They are all either cheaters, in-between jobs (jobless), do nothing around the house, do none of the childcare, misogynists, porn addicts, or a combo of all of the above. I'm truly beginning to come to the realization that being single is a way better deal for women.
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie79 points80 points81 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We don't need them, they need us. I've never been happier single lol
[–]tonha_da_pamonhaFDS Apprentice80 points81 points82 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I can confirm being single is way better
[–]ceilingkatwatchesusFDS Disciple26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I second it 🤗
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It is a better deal, even more so if you value your time.
[–]12thwizardFDS Newbie147 points148 points149 points 5 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
Single is the way ladies. Until that HVM actually adds something to our lives. It's just too true. I can't think of one woman I know that's husband/bf or whatever is good enough for her. I helped a friend buy her husband a secret Xmas gift last week from my Amazon account. Had it delivered to my address, she gave me cash and I bought it, so it would be a complete surprise. It was some robot making stuff, very expensive and looked awesome. I said that he was a lucky man and asked her what she wanted for Xmas...she said she didn't want anything and would probably buy herself something from him, because he's sooo busy. Fucking loser of a man. I felt so bad for her.
[–][deleted] 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know of only two guys that are actually good and not a drain or a nuisance to my female friends, like the rest of them.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]12thwizardFDS Newbie56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
We don't make excuses for men. If a man wants to get a woman a gift he finds a way. She's lowered her standard to fit his life. She's literally the easiest person to buy for too. She has very unique interests that would make for great gifts.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]PenneyPenceFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My HVM Dad buys my Mom expensive clothes and shoes and has been getting it right for 40 years. If they want to, they will.
[–]AskyblueskyPickmeisha™️1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I never saw my dad buy a designer anything for my mom, because it’s literally the last thing she is interested in. Instead he sponsors and supports her travel and research for books she is writing, because that’s more her style. I see this as HV. So for me, it’s the generosity, its informal, they don’t do anything for anniversaires or hide gifts for each other. maybe this all violates fds policy, maybe it passes. What do you guys think?
[–]afancysandwichFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
They're not bad because they just happen to be. They're bad because they don't care. There are a lot of men who take an interest in what women speak about, and what their partner talks about, and even snoops around on her Pinterest, and can get her the perfect thing.
[–]12thwizardFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. My almost ex husband, even after I told him exactly what I wanted for my birthday AND I told him that I wouldn't accept a shitty gift like every other year since we got serious...put a packet of Reece's in a card, and told me he wasn't any good at buying gifts - and that he didn't know what to get. Bullshit. He wanted to hurt me. I left him less than a month later and I'm gone over a year now. Single is the way ❤️
[–]afancysandwichFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
these attitudes can come from religious upbringings
It's society. TBH a lot of pickmes think this way.
I'm autistic and I don't like surprises AND I'm honestly a bad gift giver if I'm going in blind. BUT, I talk about things a lot, so my friends will just straight up ask me what I want, I'll happily tell them, and the anticipation is the happiness. And I listen to my friends and I buy stuff for them. I had to grow up to this though.
[–]canadiangirl1564FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I see what you're saying and I kind of agree. But this sub is about not settling for the guy that "oh he usually doesn't get me the right thing but that's ok I'll just pick out my own gift". When really it's so much BETTER to be with someone who truly gets you and CAN pick out your fav clothes/shoes/whatever. There ARE men out there that are willing to remember your clothing sizes and preferences because they care that much about getting you a good gift.
[–]srkambbs1FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Even a gift card to a favorite store is the bare minimum.
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think if you're in love with someone you'd have at least a vague idea of what they'd want as a gift.
[–]SimilarGiftFDS Newbie115 points116 points117 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This applies to girls I don't know as well 🙃 like when a guy friend tells me he has a new crush or a girlfriend I'm like.... sis I don't know you but run
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Because they are conditioned to settle.
[–]_fuyumiFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Yes! And for what?! A life full of frustration? Children? I've known women who have been with the shittiest men and the only thing they don't regret is their kids. Even with the kids, they wish they'd left earlier and realized they were single mothers the whole time anyway. Is this the answer? Children?
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
This puzzles me too now, at 41, but I also settled with my ex husband when I was 25. Such an idiot, I'm still embarrassed of myself.
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
don’t feel embarrassed, sister. some women, unfortunately, spend their whole lives having settled. you learned, grew, and moved on, and that’s something to be proud of!
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's true. Thank you for your kind words!
[–]_fuyumiFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You left, so I wouldn't be too ashamed! I got married at 25, and when it got really bad, I was like "if I get divorced before I'm 30, I can probably start over" lmao. It was finalized 2 months before my 30th birthday.
Real talk, I think women know the probability of finding a good man is pretty low. In my case, I asked myself "can I do this for the rest of my life?" The answer was no. I was mentally and physically a wreck, my eating disorder came back, and I was angry and suicidal. I felt like "the rest of my life" might not be super long in that case, and I knew it was healthier to be alone.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are way smarter and braver than me! I sucked it up for 13 years! Kicked him out when I was 38. Silly me I still can't explain what took me so long.
You are right, that scarcity mindset keeps many women in a bad relationship but what they are not realizing is that their fear of being alone is sabotaging their happiness way more than somewhat slim probability of finding a real HVM. Because it's much better to stay single than in the shitshow of a relationship.
[–]ShefthegooddogFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This!
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie116 points117 points118 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Rats are very cute and affectionate. 🤷♀️
[–]rainbowicecoffeeFDS Newbie81 points82 points83 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They also regularly groom themselves!!!
[–]oreooreooreosFDS Newbie[🍰] 64 points65 points66 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And can cook a delicious ratatouille! ...wait
[–]Silverpool201815 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Linguiniiiiiii!!
[–]asinglepeanut65 points66 points67 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And intelligent!
[–]getrippeddiemirinFDS Newbie75 points76 points77 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve met numerous rats with a better grasp on the human emotional spectrum than the average human male
[–]Molamola14FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This.
[–]Maude2010FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Of the hundreds of women I’ve known over the years, I’d say five percent are happily partnered, eighty percent settled and are anywhere from dissatisfied to miserable, and fifteen percent stayed single. Women are SO conditioned to settle and the problem is that men just aren’t good enough for them. Women are smarter, better looking, kinder and more interesting. It’s not even debatable. There are some men with a lot going for them, but many of those men prefer women who they don’t feel are their equal, and that automatically makes those men garbage. The number of exceptional men who want to partner with exceptional women is breathtakingly small. I’ve always been open to meeting one of them but I absolutely refuse to invest my time and energy into finding a needle in a massive pile of shit.
[–][deleted] 35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hilarious. And true
[–]llamasinspace420FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have no friends anymore because they're all in shit relationships or I pushed them away when I was with my ex. So, I wish I could relate. I miss having friends.
[–]FabledAngryVillagerFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Only know one friend with a HVM. Everyone else is LVM or IVM (intermediate value male.)
You'd think in an area where men outnumber women, they'd try harder. Or lower their standards. They want someone out if their league looks wise with a college education who'll moonlight as a bangmaid.
[–]RabidWenchFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Okay, Lane, can we discuss why you cultivate friendships with men who are such crap human beings they don't deserve to date rats? Because in my mind, if you are friends with them then you are condoning their behavior to a large extent. I don't socialize with people of whom I don't approve.
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[–]Silverpool201888 points89 points90 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]tiavargaFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]notroyaltyyetFDS Newbie125 points126 points127 points
(3 children) | Copy Link
[–]freedandelionsFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]karicharFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]_fuyumiFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Historywillabsolvem3FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]CarpedictumFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yomommahouseFDS Newbie233 points234 points235 points
(5 children) | Copy Link
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie79 points80 points81 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tonha_da_pamonhaFDS Apprentice80 points81 points82 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ceilingkatwatchesusFDS Disciple26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]12thwizardFDS Newbie147 points148 points149 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 27 points28 points29 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (13 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]12thwizardFDS Newbie56 points57 points58 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (9 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]PenneyPenceFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AskyblueskyPickmeisha™️1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]afancysandwichFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]12thwizardFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]afancysandwichFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]canadiangirl1564FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]srkambbs1FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SimilarGiftFDS Newbie115 points116 points117 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]_fuyumiFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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[–]_fuyumiFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]ShefthegooddogFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie116 points117 points118 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]rainbowicecoffeeFDS Newbie81 points82 points83 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]oreooreooreosFDS Newbie[🍰] 64 points65 points66 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Silverpool201815 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]asinglepeanut65 points66 points67 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]getrippeddiemirinFDS Newbie75 points76 points77 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Molamola14FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Maude2010FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 35 points36 points37 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]llamasinspace420FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FabledAngryVillagerFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RabidWenchFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link