Sex work is always coercion, there is never true consent.

shedipity · 2021-09-23T11:35:34+00:00

I once knew a sex worker. They lay out their rules (what they can and can’t do to them) before engaging with the “client”. If the rules were broken… what were they gonna do, tell the police?? That NEVER worked. Doesn’t sound very empowering to me.

oceanstains · 2021-09-23T14:34:11+00:00

The biggest lie they’ve sold is “women should do what they want with their bodies” when ITS REALLY “men should be able to buy women” and it’s sick

sexualfoodpantry · 2021-09-23T07:26:45+00:00

Just the fact that someone is able to overlook that they are "buying" consent, tells you a lot about that person, their level of callousness and lack of scruples.

Just the fact that male prostitution never really took off among women speaks volumes, too.

A prostitute's consent is not like the forced friendliness at work. This is way more intimate and has a lot more reprecussions.

The big difference is, people are taught to respect the forced friendliness at work. There's constant reminders posted on reddit to be nice to cashiers, waitresses, etc.

While, even if they are nice to you superficially, the mistreatment or murder of a prostitute, much like that of the homeless person, interests nobody. It will never make the front page of Reddit unless it's high profile.

Particularly evil-minded men know this, that's why they focus on that group. They can take out their psychopathy on someone with almost no consequence.

Pyllytar · 2021-09-23T08:46:57+00:00

It should be considered as a fucking massive red flag if a man is willing to have sex with another person who doesn't want to have sex. I get strong potential rapist vibes.

clithoodwink · 2021-09-23T08:45:13+00:00

Realizing that consent cannot be purchased—that money is a coercive force—was a life-changing moment for me. So many practices immediately became reprehensible to me. That is when I think I truly began to see the Goliath the patriarchy is.

Technical_Moth248 · 2021-09-23T08:50:20+00:00

I got into the biggest fight with a pickme over this at one point, and I hate that I still think about it and feel frustrated. She was so pissed that people felt this way because she was personally a prostitute and didn’t feel she was taken advantage of and even considered some of her clients friends 💀 Which… fine, whatever, but she followed this up with NOT BELIEVING SEX WORKERS WERE EVER R*PED. Instead they called it that because they had engrained puritanical values and couldn’t handle the shame. Someone called her a rpe apologist and she in turn called everyone SWERFS 🙃 and basically implied that men that buy sex were fucking oppressed

I will never get over knowing that there are women who would happily shame and ignore other women calling out dangerous situations to protect abusive men. It just does not make sense to me.

modernmedusaa · 2021-09-23T12:25:29+00:00

It is paying for a man to rape you

How this can be considered ‘empowerment’ or freedom from patriarchy I don’t know

It’s capitalism & misogyny on steroids

It’s the oldest form of exploitation…not ‘work’

The fact some middle class women choose to exploit themselves & willingly put themselves at risk to STIs & violence is evidence of their supreme stupidity & gullibility

I will say it again: not all women deserve a microphone to speak on women’s rights.

They want all the clout, exposure and influence but no responsibility.

They want the book deals and woke tote bags, but no criticism or debate.

Individualism has allowed every hipster in the midst of extended teenage rebellion to think they’re an expert on adult debates they know nothing about.

Newsflash - you are not.

Saying something edgy does not make you an intellectual or expert by default.

And if you’re shouting stupidly dangerous ideas from a soapbox in media - prepare to be publicly challenged on it.

Because you are RESPONSIBLE for what comes out of your mouth and the impact it has on society.

xfelugirlx · 2021-09-23T11:43:52+00:00

Just buying someone is disgusting! Only men can do this nasty stuff without feeling guilty

foxorhedgehog · 2021-09-23T15:45:00+00:00

No one with any kind of self esteem says “I really want to suck cocks for a living”.

DreamlikeNile · 2021-09-23T07:59:54+00:00

The horrible sex buyers know this too. In 'Paid for' by Rachel Moran she said there were only two times in 7 years as an escort she actually wanted to have the sex because the guy was attractive. The first time the guy rejected her when she declined payment, and the second time the guy said 'you don't have to pretend to like it' and she described how she disassocciated... they LIKE that it's coercive/abusive.

With discrimination, pink collar work, uneven division of labour etc. etc. Women earn about HALF of what men do. I think women should work together, unionise, support each other, buy property, invest. Support women's businesses. Let's work together sisters 💪

Ollaredegang · 2021-09-23T12:40:32+00:00

I basically said these exact same things to a friend the other day. He didn't find any problem in the act of paying for sex, even if the woman actually doesn't want to have sex with him. Apparently, paying her solves everything 🤦 I then said that I'm repulsed by the fact that someone could enjoy having sex with someone that doesn't really want to. He shrugged and said that that's just how I think about it, but other people can think differently... yeah depraved people do think differently I guess

xpressurself111 · 2021-09-23T13:44:11+00:00

This makes me cry. I am recalling the most boring and unwanted sexual encounter I’ve had, now imagine that is my every day with different men, and if I don’t do it, I don’t have an income. Holy shit.

sleazyBDSMscotes · 2021-09-23T08:16:48+00:00

Prostitution is dangerous on all levels for women, doesn't matter how "high end" your clients or fees are... "Respectable" business guys with money who use sex workers "services" are every bit as women hating as low life petty criminals picking up drug addicted street pros.

...I absolutely hated the trend of silly best seller novels like " belle de jour" about the supposed adventures of oh so happy rich London " high end" call girls, who just loves her oh so glamorous life.. complete and utter hooey! But presented as true fax..

Today's trend is attempting to present only fans or camming as " normal work" ,..and eMpOWeriNg....anyone who has been in the sex industry more than 5 minutes can set you straight on that lie! Ladies..stop entertaining men who desperately want to believe that paying for sex or porn sites is EVER acceptable. It NEVER is.

Vet guys you let into your life carefully, especially if they have ever gone to well known sex tourism destinations like Thailand / Brazil, ..I've been shocked at how many male acquaintances over the years believe that buying sex is " totally normal/fun/natural" . Worse, think they are helping poor women(!) by supporting sleazy red light districts where most of the money goes to the bar owner/ pimps.

dinarvand88 · 2021-09-23T11:45:25+00:00

Yes. This! It's like saying that a woman in Afghanistan wants to be dressed thenway they are made to dress now. If they wanted to wear what the Taliban wanted them to wear, you'd have no public beatings for not following the new law, right? I see prostitution the same way. Lots of invisible forces forcing a woman to do what she claims she "chooses" and consents to do.

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-09-23T13:24:53+00:00

It's mind-boggling to me that we even need to have this conversation. It's complete misinformation and propaganda, selling younger girls and women on the idea that selling your body is empowering. And it's not just selling your body, it's selling your soul and dignity.

throwawayastrogirl · 2021-09-23T20:52:38+00:00

Every man who's ever used their services is a rapist, period ende punto. They belong in the registry, even just the kind that will make users of these services known to the public. no more secret trips to Thailand and poorer countries, you use an escort we get your full name and picture in the registry, kapish?

aquietsword · 2021-09-23T18:49:15+00:00

How don't men not feel absolutely worthless BUYING SEX?? The jokes about people joining Greek life as a way to buy friends have been around forever, but men straight up buy a fake ass intimacy and traumatize women and everyone looks the other way? Being so undesirable that you try to buy sex is pathetic, not caring about the sex worker you are exploiting is disgusting.

Manky7474 · 2021-09-23T20:43:23+00:00

I would really recommend that book "being bought and sold" to anyone. Well researched but accessible

Valentcat · 2021-09-23T18:27:07+00:00

I agree with this sentiment, but I’m wondering how to counter arguments that compensation for sex work is no different from compensation for other work (including hard labor), where one uses their body in other ways for money?

Is the primary difference the sexual consent aspect? Do we feel that the exchange of all labor for capital is exploitation? I totally understand people will have different opinions on this, but I’m interested!

Title	Sex work is always coercion, there is never true consent.
Author	DivineGoddess1111111
Upvotes	1073
Comments	49
Date	September 23, 2021 6:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ptpk3g/sex_work_is_always_coercion_there_is_never_true/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/sex-work-is-always-coercion-there-is-never-true.1074825 https://theredarchive.com/post/1074825

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