Should we avoid dating men of certain occupations if we don't want kids?

ennu_i_sao · 2022-01-22T12:02:25+00:00

Honestly the only occupation I can think of that would be a risk is anyone in the US Military. You are rewarded for getting married and having children, especially since the military relies on the wives for the unpaid labor. In my experience, men who don’t want children will suddenly want them if they feel it would make life easier for them for taxes or some other benefit. Also, you can love working with kids without actually wanting your own kids.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-01-22T11:03:24+00:00

You should avoid dating men who don’t want kids if you want kids. There’s plenty of men I know who work with children and don’t want their own kids because they’re around them all day. It’s just something you have to vet.

Platipus6 · 2022-01-22T11:06:43+00:00

Men's lives don't change after the woman gives birth lol

Even a man who doesn't want kids can still have kids and go right back to work as usual.

I'd say a man who says he doesn't want kids is telling the truth.

I'd be more worried about a man who says he does want kids - is he actually going to be a father to them?

Ask them before you even meet if he wants kids.

Ana_jp · 2022-01-22T15:22:45+00:00

Well, according to the debate I’m currently having on PPD, we should not be dating older men, or the top 20-30% of men at all if we don’t want kids. Because they all want kids.

Apparently it’s my fault men keep lying to me about their non-childfree status because I keep trying to date top men.

ro0ibos2 · 2022-01-22T20:23:36+00:00

If you don’t want kids and you’re under 30, avoid dating childless men over 35 who purposely go for much younger women because they know women their own age will likely struggle with fertility by the time the relationship settles into marriage. It doesn’t matter what their occupation is.

cml678701 · 2022-01-22T14:55:59+00:00

Men certainly don’t think this way about us! I’m an elementary school teacher with basically the personality of Julie Andrews, and men always act super super shocked that i want kids. It pisses me off every time! First of all, wanting kids is on my profile. Second, my job. Third, the fact that I talk often about loving kids. I think they are missing any nurturing in their own lives, and want to be with a nurturer for selfish reasons. If they say, “I don’t want kids, and obviously I knew you do, but I used you anyway,” they’d look horrible, and they know it. But the thing is, I’m not buying their “shock” that I want kids. My personality and stance on that are not ambiguous in any way. It is completely crazy and manipulative on their part!

katiekat0214 · 2022-01-22T19:44:31+00:00

Teachers are not necessarily out. Speaking as a retired one myself, it's been noted all over CF literature that 20-25% of teachers don't have kids. For myself -- and I think I'm pretty representative -- we loved the energy and imagination of kids, and want to help in a pro-social way, but when we go home, we want to be off, way off, and able to rest and re-create and/or be creative. My older sister, also a retired teacher, said her most exhausted years were teaching middle school and having a middle schooler at home.

melympia · 2022-01-22T19:59:26+00:00

Not a direct answer, but I've noticed that a whole lot of (female) teacher don't have kids of their own. Many still do, but the amount of childfree women in that profession is unusually high, I think.

Maybe the men working with kids (for the righ reasons) don't want to have kids of their own because they get their fill and then some of playing daddy at work?

frogchickenhorse · 2022-01-23T00:34:44+00:00

I tend not to date guys who are butchers due being a vegetarian myself. Never had much trust for truckers plus dad was in the navy so I’ve been into those types of guys

herbivorouscarnivore · 2022-01-23T01:42:22+00:00

lol Nah sis, not how it works. And as many child free people can tell you, they can enjoy working with kids and even like kids while still not wanting to have their own.

Timely_Fox_6191 · 2022-01-22T10:40:51+00:00

I don't think wanting kids can/should be correlated with your work. He will probably tell you during dates what he wants your future to be like though.

Big-Paleontologist13 · 2022-01-22T19:30:55+00:00

if you don’t want kids, don’t date men that want them. if you do want kids then date a man who wants them as much, if not more than you do. in one of the podcasts it was discussed that family orientated women should seek out partners even more family orientated than themselves

ojoscolorcafex · 2022-01-22T10:50:59+00:00

Not necessarily, there are men that love kids and are still childfree.

I think its better to simply be very clear on your wishes since the beggining.

VintagePallor · 2022-01-22T10:44:03+00:00

I'd talk about it with them quickly. Some teachers love working with kids and DON'T want them but I think the majority definitely want their own. If you are dedicated CF I would (and do) ask about their desire for family in the pre-date screening phase. I normally wouldn't get into serious topics at that point but if that's a firm deal-breaker it's worth it to save both of your time since with a teacher or similar there is a very high chance they want kids. I'd also put CF in my bio if I was using OLD to hopefully discourage incompatible matches.

Title	Should we avoid dating men of certain occupations if we don't want kids?
Author	fireforestfairy
Upvotes	223
Comments	48
Date	January 22, 2022 10:37 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/s9zsrv/should_we_avoid_dating_men_of_certain_occupations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/should-we-avoid-dating-men-of-certain-occupations.1098232 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098232

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