Thoughts on the whole warzone between men and women (Especially the "When you're privileged, equality feels like oppression" sentiment)

MyKensho · 2025-12-05T16:06:22+00:00

Yeah that's ridiculous. The reason more and more men are turning away from feminism is because it's being revealed more and more just how anti-egalitarian it actually is.

The average man (and even woman) who is becoming disillusioned with feminism has absolutely zero issues with women's rights. The problem arises when your movement has no qualms about trampling all over men's rights to reach its objectives.

I'll go all out. I hope the ideology burns, and from the ashes, a truly inclusive egalitarian movement can blossom and vigorously work to tackle real class issues.

PassengerCultural421 · 2025-12-05T16:56:17+00:00

The phrase doesn't make sense. Because most men are already used to living in a society where women have rights and equality for decades. So those men never experienced losing their privileges, because they have been in an equality society ever since their parents were born lol.

And the ironic thing is the phrase is more accurate with women. Because it's usually women who feel oppressed when men start treating them like equals. Since some Feminists like male gender roles when it's convenient.

Gantolandon · 2025-12-05T17:25:28+00:00

The “…equality feels like an oppression” sentence is a thought-terminating cliché to preemptively dismantle any sort of criticism of the movement. Feminism has a lot of them, and their entire purpose is to set up a discussion where it can’t be wrong.

You just can’t criticize feminism, period. If you’re a man, being born with the original sin of privilege means you by default want to take away all the rights from women, and any opinion you might have is just hostile subversion of the movement. If you’re a woman, you’re indoctrinated, suffering from internalized misogyny, and possibly just doing this to get men’s attention. Only by being the right person with the right credentials, and voicing your opinion in accordance to the holy doctrine you may hope to be listened to.

It’s no wonder that the movement is so susceptible to purity spirals and the most insane members get the loudest voice. If you’re not able to disagree, then whoever puts the most extreme version of the holy word, wins by default.

SuperMario69Kraft · 2025-12-05T16:10:50+00:00

When you're privileged, equality feels like oppression

That whole argument is both circular and unfalsifiable. In the Hegelian dialectical fashion, it could be made right back at the feminists to state that ending female privilege feels to women like oppression.

At what point will feminists concede that women are no longer oppressed? To them, what can possibly constitute female oppression of men?

This is why I'm simply a gender egalitarian. Using Ockham's Razor, the bilateral model of sexism cuts thru all the debate of which gender has it worse, acknowledging that gender roles really don't benefit either sex.

Punder_man · 2025-12-05T18:28:56+00:00

Women are in the best position they've ever been in to advocate for themselves, and that's terrifying to those who would see the patriarchy continue. The current legislation aimed at controlling women is an attempt to reclaim that power women have captured.

Its funny to me how feminists will say we live in a "Patriarchy" yet fail to understand that giving women the right to vote, get educated or open their own bank accounts (despite what feminists say about women not being allowed credit cards women could still buy things on credit, it was just on her husband to handle those debts) flies in the face of this supposed "Patriarchy"

Honestly.. they hype it up as some sort of unstoppable force that they as women are the underdogs in the fight..
Yet the MOMENT we point out areas in society where men are not universally privileged or protected then they flip the script and suddenly its "Oh that's just The Patriarchy backfiring"

The inconsistency with "The Patriarchy" is one of many reasons why so many men disagree with them
I also agree with the OP that as a whole men have been disenfranchised to feminism..
We are tried of being blamed for things we have not done and for the majority of us WOULD NEVER do..
We are tired of watching women not being held accountable to the same standard men are expected to be held to..
We are tired of the constant demonization
We are tired of being told that speaking out about how we are sick of being generalized makes us "Part of the Problem"
But most importantly, we are tired of the issues we face as men being blamed on "Other Men" or "The Patriarchy" or Toxic Masculinity"

Septic-Abortion-Ward · 2025-12-05T19:36:10+00:00

For the last 2-3 generations women are doing better across the board for any metric I can think of, education, health wealth, serious mental health issues, suicide and continue to do better in terms of life span and % of societal money we spend on them.

They work less, in safer jobs, for more money.

Women have passed men in higher education so far that when women were less than this far behind men we passed title IX and various other federal incentives to enroll women.

But they don't want to talk about the present, or reality. They want to continue to penalize young men for the mostly imaginary sins of men who died decades ago.

NonsensePlanet · 2025-12-05T18:08:14+00:00

Yup, and when you point out the vitriol, they will argue it’s justified instead of trying to improve gender relations.

I think Hollywood shares a lot of the blame for centering feminism and misandry in popular culture. They were roundly shamed by the MeToo movement, and saw a way out by pushing female empowerment to the masses. I don’t believe for a second that the big cats running the studios learned anything from the whole thing aside from performative virtue signaling.

No-Cat-2597 · 2025-12-05T22:48:23+00:00

Alot of feminists themselves come from a place of privilege, being able to enjoy the spoils of the rich families they are born into without having to work for it at all. If you live in a safe, clean, upper class gated area you generally don’t need to worry as much about getting mugged or assaulted when you’re walking out at night. I am a woman who grew up in a poor gang infested neighborhood and everyone in my life, man or woman, had to develop some kind of vigilance. That’s what really grosses me out when these women like to bitch and act like they’re the only ones who have a reason to be so scared to walk alone at night. these privileged feminists like to act like they know what it’s like to have to go day through day living through a lense of societal survival just because they’re supposedly oppressed as women.

OddSeraph · 2025-12-05T17:07:39+00:00

>make the connection that Feminism = Man hate after being exposed to all the vitriol.

Also look at their groups/subs. Whenever there's any man hate or bigotry nine times out of ten it goes unchallenged in their spaces. But when that's brought up in a space that's not their own, you're hit with the "that's not real feminism." When there's more anger towards people calling out the bigotry and hypocrisy and literal right wing rhetoric with a poor leftist paint job on it than towards the actual bigots then yeah it's understandable why people may not want to associate/identify with your movement. It's like they think the ends justify the means, but are surprised the means have consequences.

Hell it's not much kinder to women. Look at their spaces whenever the concept of white feminism is brought up. They quickly try to get away from that topic, or whitewash the actions, manipulate or ignore stats, or accuse people of trying to tear the movement apart.

recoup202020 · 2025-12-05T21:01:13+00:00

That sentiment is literally projection.

Women have always had special treatment, in that they have not had to compete with men. They have attained material security through marriage (ie competing with other women). To be fair, this special treatment has also involved them being largely excluded from this sphere of competition, and so having no opportunity to reap its benefits. Nonetheless, this exclusion has protected them from the violence of this competition, which results, for eg, in men making up the vast majority of the homeless and incarcerated.

Only in the last 10 years has society changed such that women primarily attain material security through participation in the labour force. It's impossible to overstate what a radical change that is for society (for those of a Marxian, or historical-materialist bent, this is a complete reorganisation of the relations of production, which are absolutely central to how humans relate to each other and what humans are).

As women have entered into competition with men, they are not, in reality, wanting equal treatment and equal competition. They are wanting to be included in the sphere of work and have the opportunity to reap its benefits, but they are also wanting to hang on to their long-standing privilege of not having to compete with men. This is why they want quotas, DEI etc. In effect, they want to extend what occurs in the sporting domain (sex segregation) to the wider labour market, in terms of having a separate set of jobs set aside for them.

As an aside, I believe that all of the critiques of masculinity are an unconscious projection of this. The version of soft, gentle masculinity that is now commonly espoused as an ideal is, in reality, the version of maleness that women want to compete with in the labour market. Ie, as much like themselves as possible. They critique traditional masculinity because traditional masculinity has been honed - culturally and biologically - for competition over millenia, and they don't want to compete with it. However, when they come to choose their own mate, they still want a male who out-competes other males, and so they frequently don't choose softer, feminised characteristics. But I don't think women even realise this, and they are left with a split habitus, and a confused misunderstanding of why they are always disappointed in men currently.

When men are complaining, they are literally complaining about enormously unequal labour market conditions. Quotas are incredibly unfair. If an engineering firm hires 10 people, and insists that 5 are men and 5 are women, and there are 90 male applicants and 10 female applications, then the women have a 50% (5/10) chance of being employed, and the men have a 6% (5/90) chance of being employed. Over time, this creates what the sociologist Talcott Parsons called a "motivational contagion". He notes that capitalism requires enormous levels of motivation, and this can only be sustained if there is some sense that effort can pay off. This is no longer the case for men. This is the reason why, amongst people aged 23-29, male unemployment is double female unemployment.

sunyata150 · 2025-12-05T20:20:59+00:00

Feminism is complicit in effectively gaslighting men into thinking either there issues don't matter, its there own fault or its the fault of other men even if they were born into it they have to be the ones to fix it. Its not just there own issues too but both sexes. Then when they get angry they are called toxic. If they cry fowl its because they are privalaged since there issues don't look like woman's. It can't be because men are getting tired of the double standards and unrealistic expectations society is putting on men.

GorgonzolaJam · 2025-12-05T23:10:57+00:00

When you're privileged, equality feels like oppression

Okay, but what does oppression feel like, then? If this is their comeback, how do they tell if someone is actually being oppressed?

They won't. That's the point. To silence people who will object to their faith-based belief system.

Also, this is always said by supposed non-privileged people - so how do they know what equality feels like?

They don't. Like most woke/feminists arguments, they come apart at the faintest touch of logic and empathy.

It's easy to be progressive when it doesn't cost you anything,

So it didn't cost all the men who have supported women's rights for over 70 years anything to do so?

But what about their emotional labour? And actual labour?

I find it a little interesting that everyone seems to think men's problems are due to the sentiment of "Take it like a man"

I think it's interesting how feminists rely on traditional masculinities like being able to 'take it' in order to convince men of feminism.

For instance, using "male tears" to shame men who object to feminism. It's feminists attempting to shame men for "crying" about feminism's abhorrent treatment of men and relies on a negative traditional ("toxic") masculinity like "Men don't cry" to force agreement with feminists.

You also see this in MensLib types who say other men need to start "whining" about #killallmen because if you're a real man, you can take the hit in order to allow women 'the space to vent'.

All of which boils down to:

"If you're a real man, you won't complain about feminism."

"Men are afraid of getting their feelings hurt, women are afraid of being killed",

Men are twice as likely to be killed or attacked by a stranger than a woman.

not standing up for yourself or setting boundaries, because to be assertive as a man (Note: Not even being controlling, just plain standing up for yourself) would mean you are trying to control others, especially women, and that would be evil.

I've noticed this as well in government staff who have all been trained into an anti-male bias through "training seminars". They walk over my wife, she stands up for herself: no problem.

They walk over men, I stand up for myself (calmly but firmly): Call the guards because I'm an assertive man, therefore a dangerous man.

Men don't want to be feminists because Feminism Hurts Men.

hlanus · 2025-12-06T00:31:51+00:00

The problem with this line of thinking is that it denigrates men and entrenches identity politics. If women aren't going to take men's concerns and issues seriously, then what options do men have? Shut up and fade into the background? Obey and support women no matter what? Or run into the arms of the Manosphere?

Downtown_Bid_7353 · 2025-12-05T19:42:34+00:00

Its pretty crappy that so many people who “dont care” will also come out to defend these statements too. We as a movement have to work on being kinder. What is to be learned is that women are in fact just as capable of being cruel as men and that old feminist movements might who we need to learn from when dealing with the modern ones.

1bnna2bnna3bnna · 2025-12-06T00:03:27+00:00

That sentiment is classic gaslighting. Nothing more.

Let me tell you, any feminism that looses me has to try hard and liberal and radical strains of the virus have.

I have some ongoing respect for the reactionary forms of feminism such as reactionary, choice and maternal feminism.

I even have some respect for Marxist feminism that at leasts frames the boogie man of patriachy (although it needs a name change) as a economic system and recognises most men are victims as members of the class, Labour.

unendingautism · 2026-04-01T15:57:53+00:00

It's terminology mostly. "privelege" is used to mean "not disadvantaged" but privelege refers to an unearned/unfair advantage. The problem with the term priveleged is that it focusses on the lack of oppression of the non-oppresed group rather than on the oppression faced by opressed groups. It makes it look like the priveleged group not having to deal with oppression is the problem rather than the oppression that is happening to minorities.

Most examples of male privelege are also far harder to spot than they were in the past. Women not being allowed to vote in the past is a far more obvious case of discrimination than women being less likely to be promoted.

These two combined can often make it sound like feminism advocates for men to be treated as badly as men are by society rather than for men to be treated just as well as men.

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Razorbladekandyfan · 2025-12-15T19:02:48+00:00

There is no gender war. There is one side, women, attacking the other side, men, and men taking it.

Argentarius1 · 2025-12-05T18:07:08+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie

BlueAndYellowTowels · 2025-12-07T14:34:32+00:00

I completely buy into the “When you’re privileged, equality feels like oppression.”.

I have one very clear and concise example that demonstrates that, in fact, it’s true. It’s completely true.

Mass / Spree Shooters

Predominantly white. Predominantly men.

Why? Because white men feel the most extreme alienation. Why? Because they were conditioned to believe they were the masters of their universe and could do and be anything. Why? Because the institutions surrounding them told them this. Why? Because those institutions at the time of creation were created to protect the rights of its founders. Why? Because the founders wanted to preserve their power. Why? Because power makes life easier when they can control the outcomes. Why? Because controlling outcomes means they can mold society towards their beliefs. Why? Because they believe their beliefs are correct. Why? Because it comforts them.

Why then does equality feel like oppression? Because every institution around men has effectively abandoned the narrative that men are the masters of their own universe and men still remain with the expectations taught to them. Which means, men have an unrealistic world view and the world as it exists is not the same as the world they were told exists and it is very difficult to understand how to survive because men were never taught to survive in a world that doesn’t preference them, therefore men are alienated and lash out because they live in discomfort and discomfort leads to alienation.

How do we fix it? We can’t. They need to fall. Men have to fail because it’s the only way they’ll see the world as it is, rather than how it was conditioned into them. You can’t save them, because saving them inadvertently props up their privilege.

Final note: why doesn’t this happen to women? The world they live in and the world they see, isn’t a fabrication to protect privilege. It’s the world as it is.

Black Women aren’t ever seen in statistics around serial killers and spree shooters? Why? They were never privileged. The world in front of them has always been perfectly consistent. It’s brutal and harsh towards them. They were never taught it was better and they never observed better. So their world view is always rooted in reality.

Title	Thoughts on the whole warzone between men and women (Especially the "When you're privileged, equality feels like oppression" sentiment)
Author	_vertig0
Upvotes	118
Comments	90
Date	December 5, 2025 3:41 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/1peyadh/thoughts_on_the_whole_warzone_between_men_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/thoughts-on-the-whole-warzone-between-men-and.1568119 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568119

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