Age gap relationships are psychologically optimal for both genders

beautyloser · 2026-07-29T15:35:41+00:00

OP, your title and body do not match each other OR what you’re debating in the comments. Please correct your post and repost accordingly.

Pristine_Cost_3793 · 2026-07-29T12:13:58+00:00

imagine dating your parent. that's what you're advocating for

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2026-07-29T11:53:24+00:00

Why do guys constantly think old men are attractive to young women? Old men are mostly not attractive to young women, and no amount of money will change that.

Expensive_Lion1807 · 2026-07-29T12:43:16+00:00

The average annual income for a 42 year old man in the US is $73,944. So…

Zoya_The_Destroyah · 2026-07-29T11:45:39+00:00

Why is dying before your partner reaches their late 50s amazing?

beautyloser · 2026-07-29T12:23:41+00:00

Psychologically optimal? Let me get this straight:

I get to deal with constant judgement from others about my relationship.
My spouse will likely be dead before I’m even retired.
I’m either part of the minority of women attracted to men their dad’s age, or I just have to deal with not being attracted to my life partner.
If I have children with him, I get to raise them alone once he dies (likely when they’re teens) and they will never know their father as adults.

All of this in exchange for some money and the “ego boost” that I’m more attractive than my husband. Yikes. And that doesn’t even address how low quality old man sperm is.

chamomilecloud · 2026-07-29T11:47:16+00:00

Not psychologically optimal knowing some old guy is going to give me his old sperm that is more likely to result in autism for my children. That is like the opposite of psychologically or biologically optimal.

Not psychologically optimal when I know I will be lonely for decades — like a third of my life — after my spouse dies.

wtknight · 2026-07-29T12:51:34+00:00

it’s really my main argument here to prove age gaps are biologically optimal

You say “psychologically optimal” in your title. They aren’t psychologically optimal for a young woman unless that young woman is very poor, and most western young women are not very poor.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-07-29T12:55:35+00:00

Question: are all 40 year olds rich in this fantasy you've made up?

I'm pretending like it matters. Most 20 year old women aren't attracted to most 40 year olds men. When I was 20, they were considered gross and creepy in the overwhelming 99% of cases.

NotAllTheCake · 2026-07-29T13:25:15+00:00

maximizes her fertility window

Her best chance for a healthy baby is with young men, not old men. Men of advanced paternal age (40s and higher) accumulate a higher number of spontaneous genetic mutations in their sperm, leading to a greater chance of autism, schizophrenia, adhd, bipolar disorder and OCD. There's a reason why there is an age limit of 35 for sperm donation.

the most important thing is that she always feels young compared to him which boosts her ego.

She can feel that way with a slightly older man, not some geriatric who is going to kick the bucket in 10 years.

all men are attracted to women in their 20s

Because men are shallow creeps that want to exploit the power imbalance in age gap relationships.

since they are more fertile

This is what men say to make excuses for their shallowness creepiness.

best life quality to women because of their experience in providing

No. Health is wealth. The older man may have more money but young women are better off poorer with younger sperm for a healthy baby. The slight increase in living standard is not worth the risk of a medically complex baby. The younger couple can always work and make money.

Young women don't want to look at saggy balls as much as young men want to look at sagging breasts. That's just a lie that old men believe to delude themselves.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2026-07-29T14:59:37+00:00

It wouldn’t benefit me to be with a man that I don’t find sexually attractive or if l view him as a peer of my parents. No amount of money would cancel that out and I am not a sex worker. 🙄

pie-mart · 2026-07-29T11:53:10+00:00

So basically its beneficial for the woman cuz money

Despite the fact there's no guarantee these older men are particularly rich just rich to a broke college student.

There's more to getting married than being rich... so, why, outside of money, would a college aged student benefit from a much older man.

Also, men's sperm becomes damaged as he grows older, being more likely to cause miscarriages and disorders in the child... so. She also has to be wary of that huge downside too

Edit: also, its not a comforting thought for your supposed loved ones to die way before you. That's only a bonus for gold diggers

Gold_Sheepherder6569 · 2026-07-29T12:30:45+00:00

So young men are just screwed and why are you assuming all the older men would be rich?

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2026-07-29T13:12:32+00:00

I don't know why Redditors need to bring "psychologically optimal" psychobabble into situations that are wholly emotional/sexual.

Most relationships involve some sort of "age gap", albeit one much shorter than the example in your post. The specifics are up to the couple — some people (like my mum & dad) will opt for a larger age gap relationship, while others (like my husband & I) won't.

it’s really my main argument here to prove age gaps are biologically optimal

That's a hard sell when science isn't on your side. See: Impact of Advanced Paternal Age on Fertility and Risks of Genetic Disorders in Offspring.

love_in_october · 2026-07-29T13:14:24+00:00

Marrying someone you're not really into (most likely, and if you are really into them then it sucks more knowing you will lose them sooner), being financially dependent on them and waiting around for their death doesn't sound optimal at all, actually. Even worse if you have children with a partner who's likely running out of energy to care for them properly and has a good chance of needing care themselves before the children are grown.

And only getting to spend your last years with your partner and leaving them widowed for decades is amazing?!

Axis_Control · 2026-07-29T13:37:28+00:00

No because men are in worse health than women in general and in older age and die sooner and their sperm is worse quality.

It's better for women to go for younger men max 10 years younger, because they would be of similar health to them in older age.

If a woman marries a man 10 or 20 years older she is going to end up his carer and the childs carer as his health will deteriorate sooner.

KayRay1994 · 2026-07-29T14:19:42+00:00

I noticed how your only example is a younger woman marrying a rich guy… which in itself brings its own series of issues, primarily with active coercion and the like

Also funny how you only bring up the benefit in context of the older man

But also, you’re 19

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-07-29T14:50:39+00:00

Women who have been in such relationships say otherwise

ThatBitchA · 2026-07-29T14:58:43+00:00

If you want to date a woman old enough to be your mom, go for it.

It's not "psychologically optimal" for me to care for a man 20 years older than me. 🙄

Dude, get off the internet, and go throw a house party of something. .

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BobtheArcher2018 · 2026-07-29T12:57:41+00:00

You can't judge every society or set of circumstances the same way. But modern society idolizes sex, even as it seems to have less and less of it. And the sex required--even discounting porn and all its effects--is very different than 'lie back and think of England'. In such an environment, how can relationships that basically ignore female desire be psychologically optimal?

There is a lot of political bullshit distorting age gap discussions. That said, even if you remove that, young women are famous for not being attracted to older men. It's not even the age per se. The qualities younger women like in men are different than when women age. They like 'safer', less overtly masculine men. Twinkier. Etc. Qualities you find in males the same age as them or a few years older. As women get closer to 30, this tends to change. Late 20s to 30s women are definitely more able to feel desire in age gapped relationships. But then the other end of the problem hits: we live longer. The 29 year old woman who finds the 45 year old guy hot works. But what about when she is 40 and he is 56? Or 45 and 61? But we are still insisting that a healthy relationship has a lot of modern sex, with oral and so on.

middleoftheroad133 · 2026-07-29T14:06:43+00:00

Most men never become rich though, so the woman never really wins

Title	Age gap relationships are psychologically optimal for both genders
Author	LumpyStatistician162
Upvotes	0
Comments	80
Date	July 29, 2026 11:41 AM UTC (1 week ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1v9tq4r/age_gap_relationships_are_psychologically_optimal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/age-gap-relationships-are-psychologically-optimal.1628457 https://theredarchive.com/post/1628457

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