Online Dating

Meggarea · 2017-05-01T15:38:56+00:00

I am a female who has used those sites. I got tons of messages daily. I have a wonderful man now, but I was using OKC for about a year. The reason it was so difficult, despite all the messages, mostly had to do with the quality of the messages and the type of guys sending them.

Six out of ten guys just say hi, or hey... Which is fine, but doesn't really give me much to work with. Two out of ten open with dick pics, that's an automatic no thanks. Of the 2/10th who actually wrote something more than one word, half were just looking for a hookup and the other half were worth dating, though not necessarily for me. This was actually also true of the one word openers. I gave a bunch of them a chance, too.

This, of course, is just my experience. I actually ended up with an old friend, I was not very successful with online dating.

future_space_boobs · 2017-05-01T13:38:50+00:00

the girls who get the most messages (the hot ones) are usually just enjoying the attention and validation, they don't really want to date anyone on that site. half the time (at least) they already have a boyfriend anyway. who wouldn't love being told how awesome they are and getting venmo'd money for being cute?

GridReXX · 2017-05-01T17:21:09+00:00

Women don't have the same urges men do.

Even if we match with a guy we find objectively attractive, we don't care enough about figuring out if we actually find him attractive.

We'll get side tracked by our red wine and yoga.

wtknight · 2017-05-01T14:07:50+00:00

I've talked to lots of women online. From what they tell me, they get lots of low-quality messages and lots of guys attempting to engage in low-quality conversations. Online game is a real thing, and lots of guys are bad at it.

prodigy2throw · 2017-05-01T16:06:37+00:00

Online dating is a cesspool of horny Indians and ugly white people. I've looked at online accounts of women I know. 300+ pathetic and desperate messages. Most of the women I've known who have tried it did so after a breakup and then noped the fuck out of single life and ran back to their exes. Or they deactivate it and stay single until a guy in the real world approaches them.

reepbot · 2017-05-01T13:32:33+00:00

More choice doesn't mean better choice.

BPremium · 2017-05-01T13:34:38+00:00

cause they are insanely picky

DevilishRogue · 2017-05-01T14:27:41+00:00

Not having done a whole lot of online dating, my experience was 80% are guys who are waaay out of your age range, 10% are guys asking to hookup when ~~you're~~your profile says no hookups. The rest are usually sending a simple "hi" with nothing in their profile or just flat out not reading my profile.

Edit: you're -> your. How embarrassing.

funny_lyfe · 2017-05-01T14:42:14+00:00

The hot girls are mostly there for validation. Can't find the link but if I remember correctly only 20% of females have ever been on a date.

Likewise most men find most women attractive, out at least good enough to date. Women only find a small subset of men attractive.

Because I swipe almost everyone on tinder, cmb etc I get a fair amount of women messaging me that in real life would have no business being my SO. They are almost always cute but on the chubby side. The real attractive females don't even respond half the time. They just are there for validation.

DrDenisovich · 2017-05-01T18:24:57+00:00

You are way over-estimating how much effort guys put into online dating. Most of my friends would sit there swipe without looking when things are slow while we're out, whoever matched they would send a canned opener/joke - literally copy and pasted to any girl. If the girl responds then they would check if she's hot or not and then answer.

Girls that are getting validation from Tinder based on how many guys message them are very wrong about what guys actually do. Feeling good about someone copy-pasting openers to them that they send to any other girl that matched that them day is not very flattering in my view. These guys aren't sitting there going: "Oh my goodness this girl is so pretty, should I message her?" and get the butterflies.

GinSmokeLies · 2017-05-01T15:53:12+00:00

[deleted]

sublimemongrel · 2017-05-01T14:56:31+00:00

I think men who online date are seen as undesirable simply because they do online date.

Like "I'm so asocial and desperate that I have to look here."

If I had a daughter, I'd prefer she not date guys online.

abicus4343 · 2017-05-01T22:17:05+00:00

Because it lacks chemistry and it's boring as fuck. Once in awhile I'll give it a try but everytime it's a huge disappointment and I just end up wasting time on some awkward date with a guy I would never have talked to if I'd met him irl.

Archwinger · 2017-05-01T14:01:03+00:00

You would be surprised how many girls on online dating sites already have boyfriends. And not guys they met on a dating site.

Women need validation or they shrivel up and die. A woman standing at a bus stop for 5 minutes is going to pull out her phone and post something to social media to collect some "likes". Or go through her contact list and start randomly texting guy friends that she has no intention of ever dating or fucking just to get immediate and eager responses back from them. Those little text messages mean the world to the guys -- they think she likes them and they have a shot if they stay on her radar -- but she's just pissing away some spare time at a bus stop.

Online dating is like that. Slutty girls with boyfriends will get together one day and "as a joke" all make online dating profiles, giggle about the guys, enjoy the attention, and not have any intention of ever meeting a guy from online. Every once in awhile, one of them will meet a hot guy and cheat or trade up, but not too often. If their current relationship ends, though, they'll sometimes start fucking the hottest guy on their online list if they don't have any better real life suitors.

Wolfsouls · 2017-05-01T16:21:23+00:00

Most, if not all, of the 50 messages are from unattractive men who would never have the balls to approach in real life. So, the majority of messages are basically inbox filler. And then when you get a messsage from the 1 hot guy out of thousands, he's just looking for a hook up. It takes a lot of time and effort for a woman to find an attractive man who's also in the market for a relationship, especially online. I've gotten literally thousands of messages on okc over the course of three years, and only gone on like four dates.

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sunkindonut149 · 2017-05-01T16:53:19+00:00

There needs to be an Impotence Cupid site for people who prefer a dead bedroom. The theme song can be "Celibate good times" to the tune of "Celebrate good times"

trail22 · 2017-05-01T17:32:49+00:00

I think a better analogy is why don't they get dates; which I am pretty sure they do at a higher rate then men.

I think you question is a lot like if all these people got to college why don't they all get good jobs. You can get a job if you chose a less attractive major.

LostHapaSoul · 2017-05-01T17:37:35+00:00

Only been on 2 dates online dating thru those services and both have been disasters. But I don't know of any other way to meet women at this point in my life. :/

2017-05-01T18:30:53+00:00

Most girls use dating sites mostly as a tool for getting attention/validation and secondarily as a tool for hookups. They don't actually want to date somebody who has to resort to Tinder or OK Cupid to meet women.

dicklord_airplane · 2017-05-01T19:43:51+00:00

So many choices can be paralyzing.

slavicgypsygirl · 2017-05-01T21:49:59+00:00

I don't believe in monogamy & just enjoy dating.

miss-xaviette · 2017-05-01T21:54:17+00:00

I'm one of those girls. Many guys are interested in me, but I don't have a boyfriend. Why?

I get a lot of messages on dating sites. 50% are from men I want no interaction with due to age, widely differing interests and views or just being ugly. Of the other 50% many are too far away to meet up with. Of those I do meet up with many just lack the spark of attraction or are just generally dull. If I wanted a boyfriend I could have one by next month or less, but I don't.

I'm just not that interested in them. When weighed in the balance I'd rather be single than in a relationship that isn't right for me. As a single woman I can go on dates if I want to or I can just sit at home and run data analysis for four days solid without feeling like I'm letting anyone down. I like the freedom.

I don't complain about being single, I'm happy. I'm open to being in a relationship, but only if it's a step up from my current situation, not a step back. So I guess, in the end it's a combination of pickiness and apathy.

badnews4u · 2017-05-02T11:58:01+00:00

i dont think 50+ messages from random guys and boyfriend are reconcilable

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stonepimpletilists · 2017-05-01T13:45:48+00:00

Girls always have a boyfriend. The idea of being alone scares the shit out of them. Regardless of what they do, she needs a man in her life. Even the orbiter that calls her at night when she's alone

Seriously.

DarkLord0chinChin · 2017-05-01T13:44:07+00:00

all girls always have boyfriends

online dating is a scam made for profit, not to get you laid

Title	Online Dating
Author	wilk24
Upvotes	17
Comments	307
Date	May 1, 2017 1:31 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/68lyo7/online_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/online-dating.268481 https://theredarchive.com/post/268481

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