stop blaming others for your dating failures & ask urself touch questions

DeshaunWalt · 2023-04-22T05:13:25+00:00

You can ask yourself all this questions and still have dating failure

Blaming and asking questions aren't going to get you the dating life you desire

Actions will

Also what does being empathic have to do with anything ? Am not empathic at all especially to strangers yet still have had a lot of success and failure

But one thing l wanna point out with your questions, it's always the men asking themselves this type of questions

As if we must live in reality and take Accountability, l mean if your a hot chick why ask always this questions since men don't care when they look at you and will always be available

Just an interesting observation

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-04-22T09:00:52+00:00

I practice good hygeine, am well groomed, wear decent clothes, work full time and have lots of hobbies and interests.

As I'm unnattractive male none of the above makes much difference. Saying that as I've since given up looking for love and relationships I'm indifferent. Focus on myself.

Far_Albatross_Far · 2023-04-22T09:34:27+00:00

Do you practice personal hygiene and grooming habits?

No. I literally just shit everywhere and slather my body with it. I also eat my own shit in public. Is this a red flag?

do you have the exact same haircut from when you were 5 years old

I actually had my entire scalp removed because I thought women would like it. Was this a mistake?

Do you detest the gender you are trying to pursue? Is that hatred/annoyance obvious?

Well, I assault women at least 15 times a day. Should I not do this?

Do you have goals, interests, and hobbies?

I am aspiring to become the first man on the Moon!

Can you pick up on basic social cues?

I think so. Last week I was walking home around 02.00. A young woman was walking ahead of me and we happened to take the same turns.

She started to speed up a bit and I thought she wants to play tag so I ran up to her, grabbed her by the shoulders and yelled: "Gotcha!".

She freaked out and ran away really fast. Dunno what that was about.

Do you have unresolved tra8ma/issues that are causing people to alienate themselves from you?

When I was a kid I saw a woman in her 50s trying to dress like she's 19.

RIPGeorgeHarrison · 2023-04-22T05:46:17+00:00

Your premise is good, but your examples are terrible, almost to the point where this could be bait.

The amount of people who can't get dates because they aren't showering is really low. And frankly, in a world so lacking in empathy and compassion, it's really clear that that points 2 and 3 are not what is holding back a lot of people.

The one good point you bring up (aside from trauma maybe) is social cues. I can tell you, having fucked social skills in regards to flirting is going to kill your chances if you can't fix it, and being attractive is almost no help there. In a sense, it's kind of everyone else being a bit unempathetic to such people, but at the same time, they can't be blamed for getting the ick from socially awkward people, and autism is basically as immutable as these triggers are.

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-04-22T06:28:17+00:00

Yes. 💯 agree!!

The patterns and trends in this sub are so clear.

No hobbies, no interests, no desire to do something in this world.

It's disappointing. Who would be attracted to that?

Be fucking interesting. Instead, they're Eeyore.

AutoModerator · 2023-04-22T04:58:00+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Anti_Thing · 2023-04-22T05:21:08+00:00

Yes.
I don't want to brag, but yes.
No.
Yes.
I'm probably autistic (only diagnosed with NVLD for now) though I like to think I've learned basic social skills by now.
Perhaps some, even many of the women I've pursued have been outside of my league, though I have indeed received positive attention from the kind of women I like.
Unknown, though I don't think so.

I have failed spectacularly at dating, & I largely blame myself.

Common_Sense_Dudd · 2023-04-22T07:00:13+00:00

Very very true.

As a true "purple pill", I have the following to say...

Yes, the dating game is toxic. Yes, many women (and men) really really suck, especially when young and immature. Yes, many young ladies underappreciate young men who aren't high school jocks, are slightly shy or who are under 6ft. Yes, many young ladies make poor life decisions and reject young men who make good life decisions, but then try to turn to those same men they once rejected, in search of stable husband material.

But does that mean that you as a young man are faced with a totally devoid dating pool? Absolutely not.

Does it even mean that a majority of women are like this? Absolutely not.

Is there tough competition out there? Yes, yes there absolutely is... and if you wanna beat Chad or that funny guy at parties to win over the interest of attractive women, you better be just as desirable as them, if not better. That takes a hell of a lot of working on yourself.

Due-Lie-8710 · 2023-04-22T08:55:35+00:00

Do you practice personal hygiene and grooming habits? (do you have the exact same haircut from when you were 5 years old?)

Are you KIND/empathetic?

Do you detest the gender you are trying to pursue? Is that hatred/annoyance obvious?

First of all , I do practice hygiene and good grooming, I try to be kind and empathetic, I don't detest women

Aside from the first question the rest have nothing to do with attracting women but for some odd reason most of you are too blind to see it

A) Example: Is anime women > real women, a phrase you would consider saying in real life, or online?

Do you have goals, interests, and hobbies?

Can you pick up on basic social cues? (I realize people can be autistic, but this is also a learned trait so there isn't a reason you should be aggressively pursuing someone uncomfortable in your presence)

6.Are the people you're pursuing in your league? Like have you ever received any kind of positive attention from someone who looks/acts like the person you are pursuing?

First of all yes for the first two but not picking up on social skills doesn't necessarily mean you are attractive or will get attraction

Yes I am but first of all how many that are in my league think they are above my league and attractive wome often complain about the fact that normal and average men don't approach them this idea that men always go above their league isn't really true

7.Do you have unresolved tra8ma/issues that are causing people to alienate themselves from you?

None of these things prevent you from getting women

And yes feminism did play part in dating sucking for everyone

Guilty-Instruction60 · 2023-04-22T05:22:30+00:00

mainly men, but women too

False.

lol the whole feminism movement is blaming men for their own failures.

CapsuleCorpLogo · 2023-04-22T06:50:35+00:00

Yeah I would 100% say Anime women > Real Women in real life. I’m proud that I inspired example A for the third point of this post.

iGetBuckets3 · 2023-04-22T10:02:17+00:00

This is a terrible argument and it goes to show that you really dont know what its like to be a man. As a guy you can check off every one of the criteria listed and still fail just because you’re unattractive physically. Yes, the shit you’re talking about matters but it only matters if you’re already physically attractive to begin with.

ROBYoutube · 2023-04-22T05:17:41+00:00

The actual content of this post is mostly solid. Though I think you'd find it more effective if you took out the stuff about blame and focussed on the questions.

Blame is a funny thing, but extremely powerful. If you start an interaction by removing their scapegoat, you've lost all but the most emotionally intelligent of them. Blame acts on the brain similarly to an attack, and when attacked the brain closes of the part of the brain that reasons in order to divert resources to survival.

Think of the scapegoats like a security blanket. If you want to help them, it might help to speak your piece and let them hold it. If you want to cause them pain, rip the blanket away and laugh at them.

Silver_Switch_3109 · 2023-04-22T10:02:38+00:00

There are many people with unresolved issues that frequently date.

iGetBuckets3 · 2023-04-22T10:06:07+00:00

Yes
Yes, very
No
Yes
Yes
Yes
No

Still never had any success. Now what?

Ok_Entrepreneur2931 · 2023-04-22T05:50:21+00:00

I've seen people here blame:

-The dating 'market' (because no one else is in relationships, apparently)

-the media!

-other gender's standards are 'too high'

-f3minism!

Are they wrong? Prove it.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-04-22T07:34:00+00:00

Oh buddy boyo, you word vomited the same "bootstraps" crap that illustrates an extreme ignorance of both the dating market and the issues men broadly face. Congratulations.

Unfortunately, a wider world isn't out to get you

If you're a guy, this seems empirically false at this point:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35587425/

Do you practice personal hygiene and grooming habits? (do you have the exact same haircut from when you were 5 years old?)

Imbecilic question that reveals the true gap in your knowledge...

Are you KIND/empathetic?

Almost entirely irrelevant to dating --- at least in the short-term --- success...

Do you detest the gender you are trying to pursue? Is that hatred/annoyance obvious?

Again almost entirely irrelevant. FWIW, misogynists and benevolent sexists have the most success with women:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6224861/pdf/main.pdf

Do you have goals, interests, and hobbies?

Irrelevant.

Can you pick up on basic social cues?

"Picking up social cues" has almost nothing to do with whether someone is attracted to someone else. It has to do perhaps with whether someone ends up annoying someone else by overstaying their welcome, but there's almost zero connection to 'dating success.'

Are the people you're pursuing in your league? Like have you ever received any kind of positive attention from someone who looks/acts like the person you are pursuing?

Self-defeating, i.e. encouraging people to limit themselves to their past experiences, and somehow assumes that any significant part of the issues men face is because "they're chasing women out of their league." Empirically, again, this is not the case.

Look at this graph buddy boyo, it's the threshold of male attractiveness required to have a high probability of matching with a female of a given percentile of attractiveness:

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQZw9OiJkH65V74Wr861h0JwxBAE1Kgw9VNkthpkfcCSg&s

Do you see how a male at the roughly 70th percentile of attractiveness (above average) has good odds with a woman below the 20th percentile of female attractiveness?

You don't know what you're talking about. You're just pulling shopworn cliche's out of your ass.

Do you have unresolved tra8ma/issues that are causing people to alienate themselves from you?

Again. ALSO IRRELEVANT.

You don't seem to even understand how dating works or what is responsible for a man's success in dating.

anon018274031 · 2023-04-22T11:21:09+00:00

Yeah my standards are too high 🤷‍♀️

96tillinfinity_ · 2023-04-22T13:18:35+00:00

Another post gaslighting men.

The average man works on himself way more than the average woman when it comes to dating

dowehavetoreally · 2023-04-22T21:17:13+00:00

This is a trope that has been beaten to death.

People who shop within their SMV have no trouble finding partners. Even obese jobless people have partners - just not very "high value" ones. If you can't find a partner who meets your expectations, you've priced yourself out of your own market.

If there are classic mistakes, it's men who think they ONLY need money (and are fat, and smell) and women who think they ONLY need looks (but are insufferable bitches).

Nice people who stay in their league get partners all the time. It also helps not to be anti-social, politically toxic, drug addicted, alcoholic, physically or emotionally abusive, arrogant, off-putting or (no offense) mentally ill.

Granted, standards for men and women have changed in recent years. But, part of the "solution" is not to fight those new norms and expectations.

The big one with young men is they're measuring "jaw angle" and embracing Red Pill concepts while living in their mothers basement and playing video games all day.

The big one with young women is they can't get the "high value" guys willing to sport fuck them to consider them as girlfriends. Must be very frustrating.

The point is, people who are struggling get crap "improve yourself" advice and really no real sympathy because reasonably intelligent people just get frustrated with people who prefer to let denial and cognitive dissonance rule their lives.

Title	stop blaming others for your dating failures & ask urself touch questions
Author	10throwawayantsy
Upvotes	0
Comments	138
Date	April 22, 2023 4:58 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12uv7s2/stop_blaming_others_for_your_dating_failures_ask/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/stop-blaming-others-for-your-dating-failures-ask.1215329 https://theredarchive.com/post/1215329

Comments