What's are your standards for short term involvements/flings(if any)?

toasterchild · 2025-05-19T11:13:58+00:00

It depends on how the fling starts. If it's calculated and planned ahead of time people are likely picker. If they wake up one day flooded with hormones they are more likely to take what available option presents itself. The answer is all of the above and varies by person and situation.

Ainsleygz · 2025-05-19T12:30:56+00:00

LTRs need to be more attractive because I actually have to look at them sober

p_fulga · 2025-05-19T11:25:49+00:00

I'm not really a fling type of gal, haha. I don't really enjoy the benefits you'd get out of a short-term thing without the love and care and commitment that comes from something long-term. So I've always been pretty picky because of that.

The question I always ask if I'm thinking about dating someone is "does this have the potential to last until we die?" If the answer is no, then I move on. Even amidst a budding relationship, if I can tell it won't last, then I end it and move on. There's no point in sticking around in something doomed.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-05-19T13:13:13+00:00

My standards are for what will affect me. If I want a long term thing, I will have standards based on how he will affect me in the long term. If I want a short term thing, I will have standards based on how he will affect me in the short term. If I want a FWB, I will have standards based on his FWB-related skills.

My physical appearance standards are pretty similar, though, other than those things (ex. I could do a short-term with an obese guy or gym addict, but I don't want to invest my life into a guy like that, since they don't care about their health).

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-19T14:43:30+00:00

Hot, not dangerous

PracticalControl2179 · 2025-05-19T13:43:38+00:00

None.

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This is how men think of women who they hookup with. They find them too unattractive for a relationship and hold them to contempt. They don’t view these women as human. This is just a single example of what I hear men say about women.

If he wants hookups or casual from me, then I know, based on what men say, that he doesn’t find me very attractive. It is a massive turn off and even offensive.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-05-19T11:11:48+00:00

I never understand this discussion. a "short term" involvement was never something planned to me, it was just a failed relationship attempt. I can't understand the idea of "different standards", i dated the men I slept with. I never slept with a guy twice unless I want to be with him, all my bfs and my husband started as the same hook ups as any other hookup. if anything my standards for catching feelings were higher because there were guys I slept with who were way less attractive than guys I caught feelings for and wanted to see again

Dapper-Suggestion462 · 2025-05-19T15:22:42+00:00

Nope

I have high standards for everything!

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2025-05-19T16:18:24+00:00

For flings: do we have a good time together and do I find you hot? For relationships: same, but I also want to know if we're on the same page on some more important stuff.

Double-Disaster7342 · 2025-05-19T18:04:32+00:00

I am very attracted to them and they aren’t terrible people.

Powerful_Monitor3659 · 2025-05-19T18:31:19+00:00

He needs to be hot and not a dick, basically. For a regular thing, he needs to be good in bed.

Big-Bodybuilder-5035 · 2025-05-19T21:34:21+00:00

Good looking with at least a tolerable personality

leosandlattes · 2025-05-19T13:59:02+00:00

My standard for a hookup would be lower because I would not be having it sober. Lol.

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Kind_Mongoose_4730 · 2025-05-19T15:25:17+00:00

I don’t do flings. Men who want flings from me don’t respect me. Long term committed relationships only.

Axis_Control · 2025-05-19T16:57:29+00:00

Big dick and muscly, a little bit of creaminess is allowed

Sorcha16 · 2025-05-19T17:21:58+00:00

I've had two major flings in my life. One fuck buddy and one friend with benefits. I didn't mean for either to happen it happened organically. I didn't have any standards that I can think of. I guess it wouldn't have bothered me had they fucked someone else. So lack of monogamy was my only standard. That casual was all I wanted. When I knew I wanted to be monogamous I was equally up front about it

attendquoi · 2025-05-19T17:24:22+00:00

I only do repeat encounters if it's an actual relationship.

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2025-05-19T17:30:28+00:00

My husband was intended to be a ONS/fling but turned into a relationship a few months into hanging out. Does that count?

RecognitionSoft9973 · 2025-05-20T13:07:10+00:00

I’ve never even considered this as it seems like a waste of time, but I may have to resort to this at some point. I already have low standards for men’s looks so they can’t go lower. I would still maintain that he has to be into the same things as me, otherwise we have nothing to talk about. Unless “fling” in this context refers to FWB. Then nothing matters other than hygiene and respect.

Redhotangelxxx · 2025-05-23T06:00:17+00:00

They have to be physically attractive, relatively normal (non-violent, not a liar or extremist, not stupid) and fun to be around. Compared to a long term relationship they don’t need a nice family, they can be religious, their views on children/future commitments don’t matter. A casual fling doesn’t demand higher attraction but because a relationship allows for attraction and intimacy to grow, a casual fling needs to have more initial attraction to make up for the lack of intimacy/emotional attraction/love.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2025-05-26T07:09:07+00:00

Short term relationship standard are lower than long term relationship standards for me.

Short term standards are guys I find attractive and sweet. I definitely do not lower standards for looks when looking for a short term fling it is pretty much the deciding factor of the fling. Your only really hanging out with the guy for 1hr at a time, if he's incompatible or dumb what does it matter your only there for a hour then can leave to someone else if u want/need other stimulation.

Long term standard I look for more compatibility Similar values, status and more rigid vetting. I am willing to compromise in looks department and chemistry department. Sustainability, compatibility more important in long term bc that's your one and only for a while.

I vet pretty heavily for both and am very picky either way just about different things . Short term bc vet wrong and you die. Long term vet wrong and I die.

I should let you know though I am very shallow.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-05-19T14:28:31+00:00

I don't do anything casual and short term is just failed long term. The only situation I can imagine myself deliberately doing casual or short term is if I was desperately in love and hoping he will change his mind and commit to me. So it would be the same but I don't do anything casual or short term.

Title	What's are your standards for short term involvements/flings(if any)?
Author	Disastrous-Lynx-3247
Upvotes	4
Comments	112
Date	May 19, 2025 10:50 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1kq8nij/whats_are_your_standards_for_short_term/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-are-your-standards-for-short-term.1552576 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552576

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