Caught gf texting Chad aka ex-BF while I was gone. Looking for experienced TRP advice

moodyprism · 2015-09-08T00:11:36+00:00

What do you think would have happened if Chad came over?

skripklubbin · 2015-09-08T00:17:22+00:00

You got played like an idiot. And now you're showing her and us why she thought she could get away with it.

AlphamaxCouture · 2015-09-08T00:22:30+00:00

The only reason she didn't cheat is cause Chad didn't want to travel for her CC pussy.

She tried to cheat on you. It only didn't happen because she got turned down.

Archwinger · 2015-09-08T01:53:09+00:00

There are 3,499,999,999 more women out there.

The only reason you would ever consider staying with this cheater is because you're a loser who can't find anybody else. Even though there are 3,499,999,999 of them.

Miheegz · 2015-09-08T01:30:55+00:00

1) The fact that she broke down crying means she knows she was in the wrong.
2) The fact that she turns off her ipad notifications means she is afraid of what kind of texts you could find in the future. NEXT her
3) The fact that she immidiately texted her ex to come over bc you are out of town for DRINKS (aka less inhibitions, no responsibility, "oh it just happened") means she wanted to cheat on you. NEXT her

As for your lease, thats a tricky situation. I would still next her but end it amicably and see if you can find a subletter. If not continue to live with her but make sure to protect yourself against false abuse/rape claims. AKA start recording if she gets crazy.

She attempted to cheat on you plain and simple. She got caught, broke down and then took precautions that you couldn't catch her the same way ever again. You cannot stay in that relationship. She will cheat now for sure since you let it slide the first time you so obviously caught her only now she will be much more careful.

youhadanidea · 2015-09-08T00:33:38+00:00

Seems like you caught one-itis and you know the solution to the problem yourself. Demote to plate. Proceed to nuclear dread game.

bea5tly · 2015-09-08T22:32:52+00:00

3 weeks since then?

Are you fucking stupid? She played you for a fool, you took it and now she knows she can get away with this shit. GET OUT NOW if you value any bit of your manhood.

Jesus.

0kool74 · 2015-09-08T01:47:28+00:00

seeing this kind of shit on TRP really pisses me tha fuck off!!!!!

You shouldn't even have to be asking advice for this shit dude!!!

Drogba006 · 2015-09-08T00:52:25+00:00

Downgrade her back to hoe.

That means the love you give to her is now taken away.

She starts telling some story you don't care about? Tell her.

"Let's go out to eat", you say "Nah"

Stop doing things for her. She just showed you what she was worth, so buy what she's selling (pussy).

If she doesn't like being downgraded, she's free to go.

And I'm sure it will be hard to do this to her because you like her but you've got to detach yourself mentally from this idea of ownership over her body. She just showed you she was a hoe, so you've gotta be cold and treat her as such.

Oh and dude, get out of that lease. What's the cost? Okay it costs X amount but consider this, is that cheaper than a years worth of stress with a bitch who tried to fuck under your nose and witnessed you do NOTHING to punish her?

Get out of the lease or you'll be posting back here in a year in a much angrier tone.

MAX_Fury · 2015-09-08T01:42:23+00:00

That Sunday I come back. Pop open her iPad and see that she was texting Chad almost as soon as I left for my hometown. Told him to "come over" and have drinks because she was bored.

She wanted to fuck, plain and simple. You were not available and your girl needed some attention, hence Chad comes into the picture.

I read the whole thing and confronted her about it.

Biggest mistake most guys make in a LTR. Once you found out, you should of mentally prepared yourself and plated her.

We just signed a 12 month lease on a new apartment together.

WHY BRAH, WHY?

When a man comes from work, he needs his space or cave where he can take his armor off and just relax without additional BS. This is the only time where you can act beta. When you go out, you put your armor back on and become the Alpha. You see, women get comfortable around you when they live with you. They get to know more of you and thus over time she loses attraction because she knows your routine. You fucked up by living with her.

As I'm building my business she's a major help to me as well.

You don't involve women in your business, EVER.

I went to work and seriously thought about ending the relationship.

YES do this. It's over brah, you fucked up badly. You acted totally beta in front of her. Learn from these mistakes and get the fuck out of that lease by any means.

Best of luck to you

ZioFascist · 2015-09-08T01:33:59+00:00

chad is hammer on her pussy while you're working dude.

duh!!

nemaxofredpill · 2015-09-08T20:14:03+00:00

And that is why he is Chad and you are a whiny bitch posting cry baby stories on RedPill when it should be on /asktrp

You have oneitus bad and he doesn't. Your bitch hit him up but he has abundance mentallity to just not give her the time. He has already beat up your girl's pussy to a pulp and moved on. You are sitting there crying about how a cheating whore won't Disney love you. Grow some balls and get rid of the bitch. You wouldn't care if you had some hobbies like working out, reading, taking bow hunting classes, wood working classes, etc. You wouldn't have time to care if a used up pussy is giving you half-assed dick massages. If you don't have other bitches, then rub one out once a week until you find some. But get some damn hobbies and drop the bitch. You don't have kids Become someone like her Chad. A guy who will and can turn down sex because you get it all the time. You really think her "Chad" would keep her around if he found her texting other guys? Prolly why he isn't balls deep in her. She was prolly texting another chad while she was with him.

The only upside with this girl is that the sex is amazing and she cooks, cleans and makes lunches for me. We live together. As I'm building my business she's a major help to me as well.

ONEITUS. Bitches don't help build business. Men build business. If you need someone to cook for you...find a meal prepper at the gym. I did and am getting healthy meals for 7.50 USD each. That's how much a happy meal can cost. That is your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She cleans? Doubt she cleans. Bet she just straightens up and moves shit to the wrong place like most women do these days. Pay a fucking Mexican chick to come clean your house for 120 a month and I bet she does a better job that your whore does. And you won't find Maria texting Rico Suave. Stop being a bitch and man the fuck up. You have a problem...fix it. Stop whining about it like a woman.

gweneverexoxo · 2015-09-08T00:42:11+00:00

your approach was wrong. ultimately when your ltr openly invites ex bf into your home, the relationship is already over. if she didnt cheat on you yet, shes planning on it. also, as an alpha you never need to check her phone. you should always be expecting awalt an hypergamy. shell branch swing the second you show beta traits such as checking her phone messages and cyber stalking her. the only proper way to prevebt branch swinging is if you maintain/improve your smv (also inviting you gf to help you in your business is not a good idea, it creates dependency on her and lowers your smv, also what if you break up? then your business would be in shambles) and to always apply dreadgame, to keep her on her toes at all times. basically the moment she starts to feel she is important enoughfor you to never want to get rid fo her shell start branch swinging

Overkillengine · 2015-09-08T02:10:43+00:00

You can't save her and she don't wanna be saved anyways. Breaking the lease is the least expensive option for you. She already blew her first chance, what has she done to earn a second? (Other than have a pussy; those aren't in short supply though, plenty of other women with one that have yet to fuck it up with you.)

NEXT. DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200, GO DIRECTLY TO NEXT.

HardShadow · 2015-09-08T02:25:27+00:00

She's already banging him. Probably as I type this message.

Dump her immediately and make sure you set up a camera to film the entire move-out process. Do not respond to anything she says and just makes sure it gets done.

Sir_Distic · 2015-09-08T23:32:27+00:00

Re-read your second to last paragraph to yourself 5 times. That sums it up. Time to work on nexting her. It WILL happen again.

KyfhoMyoba · 2015-09-09T00:01:09+00:00

the first thing she did was turn off messages on her iPad so that I couldn't get access to them.

That means that her inappropriate texting will continue.

She's not sorry that she texted Chad, she's sorry she got caught texting Chad.

mugatucrazypills · 2015-09-08T14:24:24+00:00

We just signed a 12 month lease on a new apartment together. What is your guys (TRP) advice?

don't do that.

truchisoft · 2015-09-08T00:17:22+00:00

Soft next, this is not a woman to keep, she is already trying to branch swing, and has probably fucked someone by now.

If you are living with her, don't, that will only bring you trouble.

tautologicoxymoron · 2015-09-08T01:48:24+00:00

Women cry when they know that they are wrong. You already know what to do - do it!

therellikofthenight · 2015-09-08T03:07:33+00:00

If it flies, floats or fucks, it's cheaper to rent. And you're a young guy so build up enough money and eventually, you could "rent" a new girl every week. This chick would be a memory.

fit_to_fight · 2015-09-08T10:53:20+00:00

Putting 70hrs a week into a business for your future is awesome. Don't feel guilty about it at all, you've set a goal and you're working hard for.it. Kudos to you. Texting an ex for attention is much different than inviting one over...don't you think? You're busting your back to get ahead, you deserve a woman who understands this and supports you, not complicates your life with stupid bs. Next.

Davidkpa · 2015-09-08T12:17:27+00:00

Use her. You are the same age. In six years when you hit your financial prime (in all likelihood) she'll be thirty. So let her manage your cock in the meantime so you can focus your energy on your business, always use a condom (no trap by pregnancy), and have an exit strategy. Live financially independent of her and understand you lost this conniving petty bitch which is the best thing that could have happened to you.

If she needs attention and validation to this extent while in a young and easy relationship, imagine what she'll be like burned out with two kids and a husband.

Let it slide. User her. And understand she's to be disposed of (dumped) at some point in the future. Don't give her your money or access to any of your accounts. When you hit 30, find a 24 year old that has a good job and can be locked down.

SexyDeviI · 2015-09-08T14:34:11+00:00

Let her stay in your apartment, keep on treasuring your relationship like nothin' has happened, she wouldn't have done it for sure, they'd just "have drinks".

I need as much betas paying and validating bitches while I fuck their women so they won't bother me when I just wam, bam, thank you mam them and don't bother to stay for 5 minutes after cumming, because they can go to their betas for validation right after.

Keep doing the good work that you're doing, this society needs Omega's and Beta's as much as it needs Alpha Fucks. You've got my sincere gratitude.

Doctorpepperpants · 2015-09-08T03:43:56+00:00

I think it was a mistake to confront her and not dump her. Now she knows she can get away with that shit and will loose attraction toward you.

sientafu · 2015-09-08T04:18:05+00:00

Jesus Christ man, dump her asap and get on with your life, this is not a LTR worthy girl and props to her ex-bf for not plating, give him a message thanking him and giving him the good news

backOnd · 2015-09-08T05:23:13+00:00

Get your head out your ass. She's playing you.

soupermain · 2015-09-08T06:27:56+00:00

She already has no respect for you anymore start lifting get plates ASAP and read rational male

THE__USURPER · 2015-09-08T06:30:31+00:00

Dude....if you let this slide your done. You need to tell her to bounce...or you need to bounce, like now. Time to go hook up with other women. If she begs you back for a certain amount of time, maybe think about it. She needs to know that if her mind is flirting with infidelity, then the punishment is severe, never mind actually doing it. Your the prize, bro.

SkorchZang · 2015-09-08T11:46:28+00:00

She's way too comfy. "There's a 12 month lease together, where's this asshole HorseLifer going to go?" She thinks she's set. Because she thinks she's set, naturally she is not going to respect you or work to gain your approval like she might've before. It's got little to nothing to do with your objective qualities as a man, this is situational. Worst that can be said about you is that you allowed a situation to develop in which she got way too comfy.

If you want to start making changes, the first thing to do is to (quietly) ditch all those lease plans. Oh those? Yeah, you just no longer feel like it. It's so hard.... finding out she may still have feelings for her ex and keeps talking to him, shows how little this relationship really means to her....

That's the ridiculous "turn it right around on her" attitude you want to have - make it sound like you're vaguelly disappointed and she is a dumbass for screwing up her own good thing she had going with you. Note how there's no whining about your own actual feelings, and how she hurt you. That should never even come up. Always you up on the throne of judgement and with her grovelling, begging, pleading her case. It is not a question of "trusting" her or not, it's a question of who is all emotional and devastated by this, and who is cool, sat on the throne of judgement and deriving direct benefit for himself from the situation by forcing many concessions and never letting her off that hook.

Evileddie13 · 2015-09-08T15:01:39+00:00

Damn man, first mistake is letting her talk with an Ex. If I ever live with a chic, she's not going to associate with any ex's or FWB. Other guys have said here, never get on a lease with a woman. Now, you're stuck like Chuck.

slcjosh · 2015-09-08T18:51:58+00:00

Dump her and move on with your life. The second she gets "bored" she is inviting her ex into your home to fuck her silly why you are away. Dump her. It is black and white.

GrandmasterHurricane · 2015-09-08T22:21:30+00:00

Don't keep her any longer in your life as a suis serious presence. You're building a company and she sees potential in your BB qualities that's the reason why she's "with you". Cut her off now and stop relying on whatever support you say she provides. She will feel entitled to your hard work and will find a way to financially sodomize you (unplanned baby, or random court case).

She doesn't respect you. Bounce bounce, and plate her. Heck, demote her to purely a fuck buddy.

justbrowsingkthanks · 2015-09-08T00:36:01+00:00

In my experience disrespect can *sometimes be turned around but your game better be fucking perfect and its going to take a shit ton of your time and energy. That said, if the disrespect ever turns to contempt (the eye roll, public disrespect, excessive disregard for you, etc..) its a hard next.

Also, be more honest with yourself. She's getting dick on the side and you know it.

Profdiddy · 2015-09-08T02:12:12+00:00

You played your hand too early. The wise thing would be to snoop on those messages while being the model bb. Then you would know for sure. She's turned off her messages? Reactivate and follow that shit.

zombig · 2015-09-08T05:44:36+00:00

Should I next her

You know the answer dude. That's why you're here, you know what we are going to tell you. Deep down you know what you should do. She's not your girlfriend, she's an alpha widow.

She would never treat her ex like that, in her eyes he is better than you even though they are not in a relationship.

Saminess · 2015-09-08T10:55:37+00:00

Kick her to the curb bro, simple as that

Unless you like being played for a fool while Chad fucks your girlfriend on your couch

Dr_HoaxArthurWilmoth · 2015-09-08T12:43:23+00:00

This is what's holding you back from the truth: Sunk Cost Fallacy. You had a good 15 months, now it's over.

You signed a 12 month lease and are going to lose a deposit. You are going to have to squeeze in 5 hours of moving in your 70 hour work-week.

flyers156 · 2015-09-08T14:49:00+00:00

You can let it slide; if you are okay with Chad being invited over whenever you are out of town for "just drinks".

If you are okay with your girlfriend being plowed behind your back, by all means, keep at it.

[deleted] · 2015-09-08T14:50:25+00:00

The only upside with this girl is that the sex is amazing and she cooks, cleans and makes lunches for me. We live together. As I'm building my business she's a major help to me as well.

This part stood out... she's recognized that you work your ass off and are probably going to be pretty successful. Maybe she figures doing work that pays $7.25/hr in most places along with fucking your brains out will get a ring on her finger that she can take to the bank when the time comes.

MeatCurtainRod · 2015-09-08T15:41:56+00:00

Holy shit dude... I just about punched a hole in my laptop reading this shit. You are being played. OF COURSE she will cook for you and give you sex (good sex is IN YOUR MIND, not in her ability). OF COURSE she will clean for you and help you with your work. OF COURSE she will use chad on the side if you do in fact work 70 hours and are always out of town.

SwagYoloJesus · 2015-09-08T19:23:48+00:00

I hope your dreams of this girl being good LTR material just went POOF. They better do.

Now, don't break up, because you living together and her cooking/cleaning seems pretty comfy, but treat the relationship as she does, and of course all your respect towards her should have gone POOF too.

havelbrandybuck · 2015-09-09T03:36:25+00:00

Biggest red flag is to turn off messaging to her iPad. She could have kept it on and messaged on another platform, but this shows that she blatantly wants to hide her social interactions with other guys.

leodoestheopposite · 2015-09-09T19:50:15+00:00

"She first blamed me..."

Dude, I read your FR with pain, because I saw myself, the myself of the past in your story.

You know that

You need to break up with her and move on. Go no contact.
Learn the lesson. This is one of the reasons why swallowing TRP is hard, really hard.

Regarding the lease: easiest was is to sub 1/2 to a roommate, even at a slight loss to mitigate your loss.

thenarrrowpath · 2015-09-09T22:52:05+00:00

I'd fuck with her. Apply a little dread game. You work hard so schedule a little night time outing with the guys. Be vague about your plans, hell don't even tell her anything just go out.

I think the removal of your relationship "security" and especially the removal of your attention is in order. If she's not texting you non stop getting pissed off as to your where abouts and lack of attention then I would break it off because that only tells me she wants you gone so she can hook up with Chad.

rpscrote · 2015-09-10T15:17:33+00:00

It's already done dude. Cut your losses and move on before she dumps you.

Go to your landlord and ask him if he'll let you sublease because you have to move out because your bitch ex tried to cheat on you. Skip over office managers etc, go straight to a guy with actual negotiating authority. I've helped people do this before and its pretty easy to get them to say yes if you offer to get the space subleased out too (e.g. no cost on his end). just get him to say in writing (via email followup) that its ok to sublease it if your lease prohibits that.

VaniteyInsanitey · 2015-09-08T06:02:17+00:00

My TRP advice is to cut all contact and read the sidebar.

You have much to learn if you're entertaining the idea of letting it slide. A fucked up lease is a small hit compared to losing much more a few years down the road

iLLprincipLeS · 2015-09-08T15:47:10+00:00

What is your guys (TRP) advice?

i know it's not worth it, what happened already will haunt you forever if you continue. but. you have to see with your own eyes. my advice is to tell her very simple: chad is dead, you add him to the ignore list and never talk with him again; also, the faggot must go.

let's see how much she actually wants to sacrifice for you.

IamAwaken · 2015-09-09T21:02:39+00:00

First this should be on r/asktrp but anyway...

You realize that people who used to fuck will fuck again in that situation. If he wanted to come over and fuck her it'd been easy but he has new pussy he's messing with and know he can call on her anytime. Or he might be a bro chad and not mess with obviously taken girls since he doesn't want to deal with your fallout.

Anyway... She only has guy friends so she is actively looking to branch swing. You aren't a fun exciting dude since you're in serious work mode. So she wants a fun exciting fuck and cheating makes it even more exciting.

She will obviously cheat and may well have already since she is easily manipulating you with words. You obviously suck at double speak and power talk since you directly confronted her in a way that shows all your cards. Now she can hide more evidence and play you easier.

If you are ok with that then that's on you. Most guys here don't want a ltr fucking around behind their back.

I could go on but it would be a bit beyond your grasp at present and this should cover your general concerns that you stated although what you really wanted was the opposite answer that says nothing is wrong.

Tldr your gf should NOT have late night one on one dates with the ex while you're out of town and it's even worse that he is slaying pussy left and right.

whoops_fap · 2015-09-10T02:44:04+00:00

We just signed a 12 month lease on a new apartment together.

Kick her out, get her off the lease. Rent the spare room out on Airbnb/CL. Quit being beta.

TRPShill · 2015-09-08T01:22:19+00:00

WHY DO THE MODS NOT REMOVE THIS SHIT AND TELL EM TO GO TO ASKTRP THO?

Edit: I do not approve of people treating this sub as ASKTRP, that's what that sub is for. I do want to answer your question though. PM me or post this in askTRP

TheOuterRing · 2015-09-08T08:30:34+00:00

She first blamed me, then began crying. Then told me "how hard it is" since I'm not home alot of the time. She basically broke down, I even kind of bought into her shit. I was convinced it was my fault for not taking care of her right. I went to work and seriously thought about ending the relationship.

Alright dude.

Re-read this right here:

unplug after a 70 hr week

You're trying to manage a relationship where you don't live in the same house while working 70 hours a week.

I don't care about AWALT with this. That's a lot of pressure for a relationship. When you live together it's a lot easier - you see them when you get home. A hug and a kiss. You lie down at night and watch a show.

But when you don't live together, I'm not gonna lie to you - a 70 hour work week is not easy on a relationship. Your girlfriend is truly missing you. So what does she do? Look for attention.

Her crying in that moment wasn't a "move" on her end. She was literally upset. I would be too if my partner worked long weeks and barely had time for me. It's just the nature of LTRs. You need to treat them like a full time job. If you slack at all, your boss (significant other) is going to notice quickly. If you slack too much, they will complain. If you are an employee worth keeping, they will have a little melt down on your slacking (an emotional response on her end)

Now...I don't know you or her. But it's not rocket science, as someone in a live-in LTR, to know that it's easy to feel neglected if work is put before the other. But, since we live together, it's a lot easier to handle those long weeks. But if we didn't...it would feel less like an LTR and more like a plate at that point.

Now, I am not telling you to slow down at work if that's what you value more. All I am saying is, the wives of corporate executives sleep around for a reason - they are missing something integral to a relationship. You have to choose. Your GF or more hours at work.

That's just life really. If you plan to do an LTR, you have to realize, once again, that it's a full time job within itself. But if you love work more than her, then next her and find something less serious. Whatever makes you happy is what matters here. But don't think AWALT and "bitchy manipulation" here. She's genuinely upset she doesn't get to see you. That is truth.

However, since you two have an apartment you're getting, this might help a ton. Let her know you need these hours for now, for the both of you, and you need her support. Help her find a hobby to fill her time when you're gone. I could go on about this, as someone with a lot of exposure to this, but I'll stop for now. Let me know if you want more insight.

Either way, this is more serious than "nexting her". Don't take her cry for attention lightly. She is trying to communicate and let you know she misses you.

TheMGhandi · 2015-09-08T07:51:24+00:00

Effect: girl attempted to cheat but chad flaked so OP is confused.

Comments: Dump her...AWALT. (Lots of TRPers are misogynists, myself as well to some degree, so take those comments with a grain of salt.)

Context: OP ignored woman for what could have been a year with no tingles/orgasms or validation/attention given to her. Woman decides to get validated elsewhere via chad and gay friend.

Personal advice: Look at the pros and cons before you make a decision and understand the reality as well. As long as a woman feels neglected, she will cheat.

Pros: She's a big help to you with the home/business (good for sex?). Forgive her, keep her until she becomes useless or until you find an upgrade? Meh.

Cons: The lingering odor of 'will she cheat on me?' with broken trust and her constant insecurities about it. Cons can be forgotten by great morning blowjobs btw.

Btw it's late at night so my comment could be better...

bittr_n_swt · 2015-09-08T13:42:53+00:00

you didn't give her enough attention so she planned to cheat on you.

I think she's LTR on the basis that if she receives attention.

but fuck it next her

NidStyles · 2015-09-08T15:39:10+00:00

Just dread her back, this was most likely pure dread on her part.

IWillBeTheHope · 2015-09-08T15:53:22+00:00

It's so funny to thinking about, and I'm not sure anyone else mentioned it, but what if OP was doing what the GF was doing? What if he was texting some random girl all the time? I highly doubt the GF would be too happy about this. All in all, this GF you have sounds like a problem waiting to happen down the road. Either talk to her about this stuff and give her more attention maybe, or give her an ultimatum that you're going to leave and start talking to other girls.

imaRPman · 2015-09-08T17:41:28+00:00

This: "She's pissed but I don't really care. Tells me not to message her that night."

Simple: You failed her shit test, ignored her because you didn't care and she moved to step 2.

Proper response: Baby i miss you too while I'm at work. Grab your stuff and spend the weekend with me!

What you should be doing now is requiring full open access to all her communication devices and she has to drop this type of contact with other guys. You also need to make sure she has interesting things happening while you're not around.

Edit: I have to add that it would probably be best to next her. This was a minor test of her feeling isolated and she failed it.

Title	Caught gf texting Chad aka ex-BF while I was gone. Looking for experienced TRP advice
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	144
Date	September 8, 2015 12:09 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3k151y/caught_gf_texting_chad_aka_exbf_while_i_was_gone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/caught-gf-texting-chad-aka-ex-bf-while-i-was-gone.36202 https://theredarchive.com/post/36202