Back in 2006, A man calling himself Mystery announced that he had discovered The Secret to entering women's vagina holes. He held expensive seminars, published books and even had a reality TV show. The premise behind the Mystery Method message was simple; if a beta could successfully copy all of Mystery's behaviors he too could have unlimited Stinky Pinky.

Betas loved the idea. Women were avoiding them not because they were losers but because they didn't know The Secret. Once they had mastered The Secret they could score a hot Waifu and live happily ever after. What's funny is the betas never questioned the premise behind The Secret. After all how could they? They had spent the majority of their waking lives collecting magic keys and special abilities that allowed them to progress in their video games. In PUA world, women were video game bosses of various levels who required different skills and abilities to successfully fuck. The betas readily accepted this deeply retarded idea because they had spent so much of their lives playing video games, that their reality had merged with virtual reality.

The problem with the Mystery Method and PUA in general is that women are hardwired to dodge beta sperm. No matter how you dress a beta or coach a beta, women will see through the pageantry and identify the beta as a beta. Women can spot the nervous eyes and fidgety mannerisms of a beta from a mile away, and if that fails they'll shit test until he runs back to his beloved video games and porno.

With all of this talk of alphas and betas, you are no doubt wondering if there is an objective metric for differentiating between the two. There is. Ask yourself: if you were kind of hungry would you steal the subject's sandwich? If yes, the subject fails the GayLubeOil Sandwich Test and is officially a beta. According to this universal and highly scientific metric most PUAs are betas. Why? Because Pick Up Artistry is nothing more than a cheap imitation of masculinity. It is the art of acting alpha without putting in the work to become alpha.

So what is the best way to alchemically transform beta lead into alpha gold? Traditionally societies have made men fight, wrangle animals and endure horrible painful bullshit. Since rodeos and Amazonian bullet ants are hard to come by for most of TRP, the best options are combat sports like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Boxing. Combat sports are so physiologically and psychologically stressful that they will make everything seem benign by comparison. So if you want to develop an iron frame, brush off shit tests with ease, and permanently cure yourself of approach anxiety don't waste your time at PUA seminars. There are plenty of men willing to help you develop confidence and masculine bearing by choking you the fuck out.

If you pass the Sandwich Test reward yourself with an Alpha shirt or Juicy tank
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