I Met an Orbiter

FairlyNaive · 2016-06-21T12:04:25+00:00

It would be funny if it wasnt so sad.

NightwingTRP · 2016-06-21T13:23:22+00:00

"Thanks for worrying about my feelings. You're such a nice guy."

Ooooh, stone cold. That's an ice burn.

Ifuckinglovepron · 2016-06-21T15:48:45+00:00

I cant imagine a decent girl living with a 400lb neckbeard even for free rent. I'm gonna guess she is a 5 or below and trashy.

cs_throwawayyy · 2016-06-21T17:35:54+00:00

Plot Twist: Your girl has a fetish for dominating big guys and he is fucking her everyday.

skittles_man · 2016-06-21T13:22:44+00:00

It's amazing to see this stuff in action. There is nothing more insufferable than a white knight defending his fair maiden's honor. Shit man, I've had my fair share of issues, which led me to TRP; but I never orbited a chick. Keep doing God's work by fucking her, he'll eventually wake up and his breakfast will taste sweeter and all that shit.

taracus · 2016-06-21T12:50:07+00:00

Im not sure Im completely following your post, one of your plates moved in with an orbiter and everybody in the story are aware of the fact that you are sleeping with her (including other women)?

To be honest I would have been a bit put off by sleeping with a woman I know just blew a 400 pound neckbeard to have a roof over her head or am I missing something?

melxer · 2016-06-21T15:09:47+00:00

that he's going to have to listen to her scream through his walls as I fuck her

Careful that he doesn't kill you and her while you're doing it, I would.

human_enquirer · 2016-06-21T18:34:17+00:00

I've had moments like that in my BP days; another man would validate something I said of did by saying "huaman_enquirer, you're such a nice guy." Even back then it felt weird but assumed I simply didn't know know the finer points of social interraction.

In reality it was more of a case of "if you don't have anything nice to say, say something nice and without substance."

He was so proud to have that pathetic moment.

Ahh, the little things in life.

Saintmyname · 2016-06-21T23:06:20+00:00

Some clarification for all: he may be more like 375. She looks like a typical big asses Latin pornstar but is white (I don't rank women by numbers). She is probably the third hottest of the six women I'm fucking . He is always with her when she goes out. Always! He keeps telling me to treat her right like this chick is actually dating me. She also has an ex fiancee she regularly fucks. I do not care what she does or who she does. I'm sorry if the post lacked details. I

schmolch · 2016-06-21T20:57:57+00:00

I can't decide whether girls are evil for doing this to a guy or just pitiful because they can't be alone. Is it both? Whatever, thank you ~~god~~ universe for not making me a woman.

DoofusCPA · 2016-06-21T16:36:30+00:00

I was expecting a picture of the Space Shuttle.

Bielzabutt · 2016-06-21T17:43:35+00:00

These are the types of guys that end up committing suicide. At least he'll be there to be her emotional tampon so it won't come your direction at all.

Hughtub · 2016-06-22T02:45:52+00:00

One of my girls recently moved in with me. I'm like 380lbs and have a neck beard. The guy she was with before, who thinks he still has her, is so easy to manipulate to make him think that I'm not actually stealing his girl. I'm a fuckin level 47 WoW player with lots of loot. I have a huge collection of midevil swords that any girl would drip over. I just need to bide my time and start wearing the right fedora hat that will make her mine.

onepill_twopill · 2016-06-21T15:15:39+00:00

Man that's just so sad. Put him out of his misery.....

I wanted to laugh so hard and let him know how much she is going to take advantage of him financially and emotionally

If it were me, I'd tell him this part so he can at least slowly learn the cruelty of the world and have a chance at not becoming her bitch. Alas, I'm not you, so do as you will.

logicalthinker1 · 2016-06-21T23:43:02+00:00

"You're such a nice guy."

Damn that was brutal. He's gonna go home and be so happy with himself.

SkorchZang · 2016-06-21T15:56:30+00:00

Vicious, vicious response. Well done

bogeyd6 · 2016-06-21T16:59:01+00:00

Meh, this is a pretty low effort post.

Swanksterino · 2016-06-21T20:18:24+00:00

ooo, did you have to call him a nice guy? that just seems egregious.

[deleted] · 2016-06-21T14:55:25+00:00

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TrapTwink · 2016-06-21T17:37:18+00:00

It shocks me how removed from reality this guy is. I feel terrible for him.

yizolo · 2016-06-21T17:52:23+00:00

When I see guys like this I want to help them. I want to explain the things they don't understand. Then I realize it's not going to work. They want to keep believing that this is the best they can do. They don't have to work hard. They just have to believe that it will all work out. It's not until they are broken that they can be rebuilt.

It's the same with lifting. I'd rather tell guys I just got lucky with genetics and have a high metabolism than tell them I'm in the gym 6 days a week moving steel and limiting the junk I shove down my gullet to look like I do.

nuesuh · 2016-06-22T00:25:49+00:00

I should smile and laugh reading this, I didn't.

Even though that guy is a pathetic mess, I still feel bad for him. His life could have been so different.

Maybe it's nature. That some men falls into this role of eating fastfood, growing neckbeards and orbiting women that exploit their weakness and desires.

Maybe our society is just fucked. Maybe both.

greatslyfer · 2016-06-21T13:18:50+00:00

Oh god I would have died laughing.

I swear you can't make this shit up.

privatejohngarrett · 2016-06-21T22:51:53+00:00

Let's not make assumptions and underestimate neckbeard. She wouldn't tell you if she was blowing him regularly for gifts and money anyway. Some girls have no shame. At the very least this fat fuck probably has cameras set up in her bedroom and in the bathroom. Incidentally, it's definitely bothering you on some level (because you posted and also the tone of your post) so who's really the loser here? Also, a pity fuck is still a fuck, but in reality, you have no idea to what degree she is getting physical with him. You're not actually just taking what she tells you at face value are you?

Jaereth · 2016-06-21T18:13:38+00:00

It's funny when fat people don't know they are not, or pretend that they should be, taken as seriously as everyone else in everyday interactions.

Oh yeah dude, I'm sure now that she's in here you are going to get that pussy locked right down...

MGHOW_ATL · 2016-06-21T17:40:41+00:00

With a straight face and sincere tone? Give this man the Oscar!

idontwanttostart · 2016-06-21T18:45:32+00:00

This is upsetting. I feel if it wasn't for luck, I would've been that guy... Fuck. Yeah. It ain't gonna go away. The anger.

RedEmpor · 2016-06-21T19:46:36+00:00

fuck.

This is fucking vicious, I love it.

If I were you, I'd piss myself from laughing so much.

Banned_For_Opinion · 2016-06-21T21:08:01+00:00

My immediate response to this situation is to get angry with the female for being so shallow and cavalier, but you can always trace the roots back to some sad pathetic lump of "man" that enables such behavior.

favours_of_the_moon · 2016-06-21T22:28:21+00:00

You're supposed to say, "I just get her pussy, but YOU get her LOVE." And then act all broken hearted.

aanarchist · 2016-06-22T03:17:56+00:00

you shoulda just told him, throw a bro a bone. surely if you were him you'd want the bone.

Inarla_ · 2016-06-22T14:35:05+00:00

You should get her to complain to him about how "theres no nice guys any more"

caveo_rattus · 2016-06-22T19:46:02+00:00

u got mogged by a neckbeard.

TomFoo · 2016-06-22T20:18:41+00:00

I started lurking on neckbeardthings. Fedoras, m'lady, knives, false intellectual obsessions, cargo shorts. It all makes sense now.

[deleted] · 2016-06-21T13:34:34+00:00

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Elfclan30 · 2016-06-21T14:38:16+00:00

Edit: this post reminds me this really, really old copy pasta.

I'm an Alpha male.

And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasnos you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that? Yeah, I'm fucking her.

The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly asks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish? Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder.

The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?

Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me? And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my ass off at you you pathetic fuck. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going tofuck6 ways from sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that. Anything else I'm going to cum on her face before you get those lips near it.

And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and dissapear, and all that emo bullshit? You're triggering her "Don't fuck" instinct something feirce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to fuck her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath.

And she's cheating on you, I promise that. When she sits around quiet and uncomfortable, acting irritable and irrational towards you, wanting you to just back away and leave her alone, it's not her period. It's because I haven't called her for a day or two and her instincts are telling her to go find me. The primitive section of her brain doesn't want to risk smelling like another man when she gives herself to me, she wants me to know she's completely mine. We do things together she tells you she never would. Her pooper? Mine. I want to give her a facial? of course. I want her to suck the cum out of my dick, even though I just finished pumping away at her ass? she's never going to tell me no. She doesn't WNAT to tell me no. She wants me to know she'll do anything it takes to keep me. She'll rim my ass while she's down there sucking me off if it means pleasing me. She'll drink my cum from a shotglass. She'll wear a buttplug when we go out to dinner. She'll sleep handcuffed to my headboard. Anything.

And then she'll go home to you and tell you she's not in the mood today. I'd say you should become an hero, but you being aruond makes her want a real man all the more, so keep ***ging it up emo bitches, I'll keep that pussy warm while you're crying in the corner.

TryDoingSomethingNew · 2016-06-21T14:06:35+00:00

That scenario was so cringe-worthy it belongs in a "cringe thread" along with photos of Bronies, fat neckbeards with swords, and 12 yr old boys white-knighting over at 4chan.org /Random. Basically, the most cringey stuff that exists.

Almost makes my stomach hurt just reading it, lol.

Honestly I don't know how you held in the laughter. That's just TOO much not to laugh!

[deleted] · 2016-06-21T16:43:11+00:00

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Retspihi · 2016-06-21T20:01:26+00:00

He's having the last laugh because he probably fucked her Atleast once

[deleted] · 2016-06-21T12:28:30+00:00

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[deleted] · Tue Jun 21 14:01:12 2016 UTC

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Title	I Met an Orbiter
Author	Saintmyname
Upvotes	755
Comments	225
Date	June 21, 2016 11:19 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4p42wt/i_met_an_orbiter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-met-an-orbiter.39449 https://theredarchive.com/post/39449

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