Rollo Tomassi AMA

FortunateBum · 2014-04-11T16:22:25+00:00

I'm always fascinated by the way women respond to stuff on the manosphere or in evo-psych.

I know there are female researchers in evo-psych who might agree with most of what you write. Or at least I like to think so when I read their stuff.

So my question:

Have you had any positive conversations with women about your ideas? What were they like?

I'm surprised by the knee-jerk reactions women have to this thinking and I don't quite understand it. Most of the time I think it's a tiny minority of women who are causing the outrage.

NeoBushi · 2014-04-11T16:21:08+00:00

Rollo, you are the Morpheus that introduced me to TRP. My question is, were there any before you? Who was your Morpheus? Who were your main RP inspirations?

Mooshaq · 2014-04-11T18:30:20+00:00

In your life, how often do you truly see the embodiment of the TRP ideal man – i.e. a respectable/respectful man who games women like a pro? This ideal seems so commonplace when we talk about it on TRP, but I only ever seem to come across pussy slayers who are shitty guys, or great guys who suck with women. I realize that it may just be my age (23) or demographic/location.

I also would like to offer you my gratitude. I've been on TRP for more than a year now, and your articles (e.g. Women in Love) were an enormous help in my transition. I had no idea your book was available in paperback until today (I don't have a Kindle), so I will be purchasing a copy ASAP.

ULTIMATE_TRUTH · 2014-04-11T16:21:28+00:00

do you deep down seriously believe that mrs tomassi has never once cheated on you? especially since i remember you mentioned she has a pretty high notch count herself..
what is the most powerful tool in the game arsenal to prevent a gf/wife from cheating?
what are some classic or subtle tells that she cheated?

i myself am pretty good at recognizing when a girl is preparing to branch swing or getting permanent side dick.

what i mean here is more the "it just happened"-BJ in a hotel room on a business trip.

redpillschool · 2014-04-11T16:06:51+00:00

Rollo, thanks for coming by, your work has been a huge influence in my life, as well as likely countless others. The number on our side bar- 45,000 subscribers- is a sign that men are incredibly thirsty for this information, so please keep on doing what you do!

Question time: As has been acknowledged here and there, the kindle version of your book has had some errors. Are these being fixed, and will kindle owners automatically get updated versions of the book? Thanks!

RPstudent · 2014-04-11T16:07:12+00:00

Thanks for doing the AMA, Rollo.

I've seen it frequently asserted in the community that the more partners a woman has the harder it is for her to pair bond with a potential husband. Intuitively, this strikes me as correct. Thinking about this in the context of War Brides, it occurred to me AWALT.

Is it possible for a man with high SMV and tight game to overcome the enhanced hypergamic nature of sluts?

Badside · 2014-04-11T16:11:45+00:00

I understand you are not against LTRs and marriage, unlike many people here (which is fine, to each his own). So I was wondering if you have any comments on how to establish the proper dynamic at the beginning of a relationship, without feeling like you are intentionally "gaming" that woman you care about.

For example I read about soft dread on your website, that is the kind of stuff I'm interested about. But mostly, it happened too often to me in the past that a girl fell for my "alpha" ways but I quickly reverted into a "beta" because I wanted to please the girl. I'm now more self-conscious about how I'm acting, but just looking into ways to start relationships on the right foot.

Thanks

FAwhy · 2014-04-11T21:17:05+00:00

In your opinion what are the 5 best books a man should read?

Rollo-Tomassi · 2014-04-11T16:24:03+00:00

Were you brought into the red pill naturally, or was there a turning point in your life that made you swallow it (like many of us here)?

adeadhead · 2014-04-11T16:27:39+00:00

As shallow as it may seem, how much do you feel the movie The Matrix impacted this movement? Would it have gained as much momentum without it?

goodbyeniceguy · 2014-04-11T17:35:35+00:00

From what I've read of your life history (rock and roll, marketing manager with harem of eyecandy PR girls), I don't get the impression that you've ever had many difficulties with women, or been what's known as a beta male or an average frustrated chump.

But in articles like Beta Game, Identity Crisis, Suck it Up and Relational Equity, you show an ability to empathize with the mindset of ordinary men who aspire to stable, conventional relationships, to deliver some fairly brutal truths without being brutal for the sake of it, and to give advice that amounts to more than imitate me and my bulletproof confidence.

No question. I'd just like to say that I appreciate it.

Ikspres · 2014-04-11T16:47:50+00:00

Thank you for your work.

Do you have any other topic that resembles the redpill, the mainstream advice on it is wrong, but not for sexual dinamics or only tangentially related?

emptyform · 2014-04-11T16:48:38+00:00

I feel as a part of a generation of younger men that were fed lies about "follow your passion" instead of what previous generations did, which was "do what you're good at", as far as career choices go. What's your take on finding passion vs. practicality in your career?

bsutansalt · 2014-04-11T19:14:34+00:00

What's your take on the Sosuave forums these days? It's where we first started interacting. Do you still participate as an active member or moderator?

Speaking of Sosuave, whatever happened to Pook? The Book of Pook should be on everyone's reading list IMO.

Will Rational Male have guest writers?

GaiusScaevolus · 2014-04-11T19:31:02+00:00

Firstly, I have to say your blog is by my favorite manosphere reading. You seem to have a more math & logic based approach, which gives the concepts you discuss more credibility.

If you had to condense the main concept of the manosphere into a sentence, what would it be?

Are there any major points of disagreement between you and the other major manosphere guys (Roosh, Heartiste, even maybe RPS)

TooMuchToDoo · 2014-04-11T16:23:09+00:00

Do you have any fears? if so, what are they?

needathrowawayplease · 2014-04-11T16:47:47+00:00

Hey Rollo,

First, thanks for your writing. I find the writing of both you and Dalrock to be lightyears ahead of everyone else. You're able to take a nebulous game concept concept and distill it down to just what needs to be said and nothing else.

I'm an early 20s man who has an alpha mindset, has his shit together and makes a lot of money (and no debt), and has swallowed the redpill and understands his own SMV, attraction triggers in women, and hypergamy and alpha bucks/beta bucks (and dual mating strategy of women). Ultimately I'd like to have children someday.

My biggest fear is entering into an LTR or marriage (since I want kids) and then losing out to female hypergamy over the course of the years. In particular, I'm worried because I'm only 5'5'' and I know that gina tingles are an instinctual, biological thing. I'm worried my "beta" game (money and status) will win me a girl that my "alpha" game doesn't merit. Or in other words a woman who's out of my league on a purely physical level will commit to me only to change her mind down the line and employ a dual mating strategy (using me for my providership and stability, but getting cock on the side to get a 'sexy son'). I don't want to become the beta bucks five years into a marriage or fall victim to a higher SMV pool boy fucking my wife while I'm at work.

I know many men who are financially well-off will avoid letting potential LTRs know about their money so they can avoid gold diggers. As someone who doesn't have all the cards in his favor physically but has their shit together financially more than most Americans, should I take advantage of my money and status in order to attain higher SMV women? Or does doing so simply increase the risk that an LTR or wife becomes hypergamous and cheats on me down the line? In other words, does using money and stability to attract women just backfire and increase the chance of the woman employing a dual mating strategy?

It's an unusual position to see - I'm aware of my strengths and weaknesses and if I wasn't game aware or /trp/-aware, I could easily fall into purely playing the beta bucks role, but having swallowed the pill my biggest fear is falling into it accidentally anyway due to my circumstances and having stronger beta game qualities than alpha game qualities. Essentially, if I'm physically a 6/10 but financially a 8-9/10, should I leverage all of my value and someday have children with a 7-8? Or just settle for the 6-7 who's more likely to be loyal? Or in other words do I want to take advantage of my "beta" game anyway even though I risk becoming beta bucks?

Watermelon_Salesman · 2014-04-11T16:31:46+00:00

Have you seen the film "Nymphomaniac"? In case you did, what are your thoughts about it?

GurneyHalleck85 · 2014-04-11T17:00:34+00:00

Shocked that Rollo isn't familiar with Roy Baumeister considering the subject matter Rollo focuses on.

Google "sexual economics: sex as a female resource..."

Feminists and blue pillers hate his analysis. :D

[deleted] · 2014-04-11T18:10:27+00:00

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Ralt · 2014-04-11T18:12:39+00:00

Nothing to ask. Just saying thank you.

Mr-Metaphor · 2014-04-11T16:18:50+00:00

Thank you for answering our questions Rollo. Your work has brought great clarity to my mind by narrowing down life to it's fundaments, which is the opposite of what our current society is teaching us.

I have a question for you that might seem oddly specific, but it is probably something you have experienced as well.

So, I'm in an LTR with this girl, which fits my physical and personality requirements and even surpasses them, and she has a lot to offer besides her pussy, she entertains me to no end, there has been no drama and she accepts the roles in our relationship as they should be.

But ever since I reached abundance mentality, I can't seem to be satisfied with just this girl and start to resent her because I'm not getting with other chicks, but then again I don't want to discard her from my life since she does fit my ideal standards.

So the question this comes down to is: After you reach the abundance and redpill mindset, can you even be content with just one girl who meets your ideals?

riverraider69 · 2014-04-11T16:35:19+00:00

Considering your background in Psychology I'd have thought you'd mention Dr. Roy F Baumeister more often. What do you think of his work, and in particular Is Anything Good about Men?

TRPcoach-therapist · 2014-04-11T16:40:17+00:00

I really appreciate your work and thanks for putting it out there in a very affordable manner. Your material is a breathe of fresh air when so much of the mansphere material is from angry/hurt men hamstering their own destructive behaviors to protect their wounded hearts.

If and when my clients are ready, I recommend your site and books.

Obviously I'm bias, but it seems that therapy/counseling/coaching gets a bad rap in helping men transition over to TRP and in my experience it's invaluable. (Given the right practitioner, admittedly many therapists/counselors are very feminized.) What's your take?

ohsweetword · 2014-04-11T19:00:07+00:00

Thank you for keeping your blog up and running. I read it all the time and it's a great source of inspiration.

What do you see as the biggest fallacy attached to the Red Pill "Community"?
Whats the worst shit test you ever had to deal with and how did you handle it?

HerrV · 2014-04-11T16:49:58+00:00

What are your main hobbies and how good would you say you are at them?

sniperhiding · 2014-04-11T17:22:03+00:00

What would you tell a 40-year old man who just took TRP, whose "peak" years are past him. It is too late? Is there a "wall" for men too? Not so much for reproduction, but just a wall for when they hit the "too old to attract younger women" phase?
Will you make an announcement when you have the e-book reedited are re-released? I am looking forward to getting it. (I saw your response to my comment on another thread about this.)

Psychemistry · 2014-04-11T17:31:44+00:00

Hey, thanks for doing this. I know I'm missing something here -- Relating to dating, do you think it's better to try to mold/condition someone to fit into RP standards, or find someone that already does?

heist_of_saint_graft · 2014-04-11T17:38:22+00:00

Rollo, I admire your prose style for its clarity and directness. Can you talk a bit about who influenced your writing style, and perhaps how you came to develop as a prose writer? (As opposed to your development as a RedPill Thinker.)

gerwig · 2014-04-11T18:44:39+00:00

How can I help my brother? He is in a blue pill relationship and lives with his girlfriend. Any time she is upset he dotes on her, which he has not realized only makes her more bothered. The beta guys at the lab she works at constantly give her gifts, and the boss has even driven her home (she doesn't like the boss but needs his recommendation). Meanwhile my brother gets her gifts for the dumbest of occasions. Any ways to open his eyes despite him being so naive and infatuated with her?

Riusakii · 2014-04-11T19:15:47+00:00

Hello Rollo,

I am a new member of TRP but I am not new to the concepts of TRP. I enlisted the help of a life coach over a year ago who taught me pretty much the same things you and TRP teach. All I have to say that I have never been happier in my life. This stuff truly works and has made me into the man I was supposed to be all along.

I just read a few of your topics in Year One on your blog a few hours ago and it matches exactly with what I have learned in the past year+. One thing my life coach emphasizes is being fearless. Being an Alpha is going for what you want and not care of the consequences (as in not getting butt hurt when things don't work out).

Do you touch on fear at all in your book or blog for those who are just coming into this? I believe that fear is the biggest roadblock most men seem not to be able to break through.

AdmiralVonJackass · 2014-04-11T20:15:17+00:00

Hey Rollo. You are probably the most intellectual RP writer that I've read so far, so I have a question.

During conversations with women I find it hard to build rapport because I find them to be so boring. Do you have this problem as well? How do you overcome it?

loner7 · 2014-04-14T10:30:53+00:00

You know how a woman shouts "misogynist!" when a man merely informs her of her or her gender's questionable behavior? Typically the man either 1) gives up out of frustration, or 2) is compelled to correct her on her false assertion but ends up formulating a relatively lengthy response that lacks finesse and appears overly-defensive and therefore unconvincing. This happens all the time. Why shouldn't we have our own word to counter that and avoid all that hassle? Do you think gynoskeptic should be a popularized term?

mrust · 2014-04-11T16:21:10+00:00

Rollo, glad to see you here and thanks for all your blog posts which are a resource I keep turning to again and again. It's really the one place that has in-depth explanations of hypergamy, desire dynamics, plate theory and of course the infamous SMV graphic.

Looking forward to the Kindle update you recently mentioned, and my question is about the Iron Rules. Can you give us a bit of background into how they were formulated? Any interesting stories that you can share?

[deleted] · 2014-04-11T18:00:21+00:00

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HelloNeo · 2014-04-11T18:03:40+00:00

Rollo,

I'm reading you book and it's truly fantastic. However one question I have is after finding yourself in an LTR, what are some of the best ways to ensure that she accepts this dynamic of the man being the man and her being the woman? In other words, what are some of the best ways to convince any LTR gal to adopt and breathe this philosophy?

Macky_Hauser · 2014-04-11T18:28:15+00:00

Thank you for doing this AMA Rollo, I just got your book! Thank you!!!!!

DrakeSaint · 2014-04-11T18:44:57+00:00

First of all, I'd like to know how the euthanasia ended, and I'd love to know more about your greyhounds. This AMA came one day short of my last month email, and by now you should remember (at least vaguely) the context.

Second, my culture is highly permeated by feelings, even amongst men. It's tough to act stoic when everything is a true carnival and the common definition of beauty is the "frog woman". I'm aware that western culture is pretty much universal, but the question which arises now and then is: the fact you're not an USA resident makes TRP knowledge semi-malleable? The core exists, but would you change anything, based on local game culture, for instance? I'm not sure if my question was put correctly.

Opioidus · 2014-04-11T19:08:14+00:00

What's your opinion on this inner game/outer game debate? What do you think about this new, somewhat obsessive trend of ''self improvement'', ''girls can wait'' and ''don't use game, just work on yourself'' that has taken over as the dominant discourse in this community?

[deleted] · 2014-04-11T20:28:38+00:00

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MrFritzH · 2014-04-11T19:42:02+00:00

Which red pill / game books would you recommend for a blue pill/beta guy besides "The Rational Male" who wants to get good with women ?

TRM was fantastic btw.

PinkfloydPurplefloyd · 2014-04-12T08:52:51+00:00

Hi Rollo,

How did you develop your articulate style of writing?

hamstercide · 2014-04-13T14:15:02+00:00

What's your weightlifting routine?

NeoRobert · 2014-04-14T06:41:41+00:00

What is your opinion on the NoFap movement? Does it have merit?

seamouth · 2014-04-11T17:37:53+00:00

Is it even worth it to stay in America?

garlicextract · 2014-04-11T20:26:57+00:00

Rollo, who are some of your favorite comedians? Got love for Patrice O'Neal and Bill Burr?

dray121212 · 2014-04-11T17:12:17+00:00

Greetings Brother Rollo,

War Brides is what introduced me to TRP, thank you for all your work my man.

My shorthand approach to LTRs is to make no compromise as far as my personal goals, and to ensure my partners investment level is always well above mine. It keeps my mind at ease, if the relationship were to implode at anytime. Does this strategy pose potential problems? I rather not proactively/directly game my LTR, so is the alternative approach cultivating a lifestyle that instills dread?

Warm Regards, The White Malcolm X

phe_nom · 2014-04-11T17:19:02+00:00

For someone that is just starting to swallow the pill and getting into game after a lifetime of being a Beta, what is the first concept you feel they should focus on understanding completely first? If you feel concepts should wait, and action should come first, I'd like to know what actions to take instead.

bama79rolltide · 2014-04-11T17:33:58+00:00

Rollo:

At what point in your life did you realize you were red pill?

NrwhlBcnSmrt-ttck · 2014-04-11T17:50:17+00:00

Can you speculate more on breaking oneitis and the opposite of married man game? Many of us are in the "adding value" stage before our 30's, we aren't dealing in long terms yet. Letting one HB ruin it now is the ruin of the average chump. We are all at risk of chumping it up for the right "10", how do we kill that part, for now. Plus... the LTR LDR that brought your knowledge into context for me after crashing, how do I... stop thinking about it. There is already regret, I already made the mistake of getting into a LTR in my early twenties. The experiment was ran and now the lab is all blown out. When I was a teenager I could just axe thoughts about ex's when they started.

Been reading since july of 2012. Rock on! I love the evolutionary game theory.

semigod__ · 2014-04-11T18:10:40+00:00

In light of the futurists prediction that the, for lack of a better term, misandry bubble will pop around 2020:

what future shifts do you see in the western civilization, and where do you see it headed?

iluminatiNYC · 2014-04-11T18:21:37+00:00

Two questions: First is about who gets attracted to the Red Pill. Have you noticed any particular type of man gravitate to it or be particularly repulsed? Any characteristics that you've noticed they've had in common?

Two is about borderline personality disorder. Like you, I was in a long-term relationship with someone with that disorder. Do you think that experience has influenced your path on the Red Pill for good or ill?

BluepillProfessor · 2014-04-11T18:55:51+00:00

What female characteristics, behaviors, emotions, sexual triggers, and thoughts, are AWALT? Which are NAWALT? I previously posted: --AWALT: (to varying degrees) solipsistic, hypergamous, shit testing, hamster-baters. --NAWALT: Will divorce you, cheat on you, take more than her fair share, and turn your children against you. What say you mighty Sensei?
What is your view on how we spread this knowledge? Many on the manosphere eschew talking about TRP because we are not starting an evangelical religion. On the other hand, the feminists are organized and passionately defend their warped views in public, in academia, in the media and wherever they can. How can we begin to reverse this if we are not willing to do the same?

[deleted] · 2014-04-13T20:10:43+00:00

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fenhongyaowan · 2014-04-11T20:32:56+00:00

Hi Rollo, I ordered your book around Christmas and I really appreciate the content. It's a great introduction to the real shit. Anyways, I think a glossary of terms wouldn't have hurt the book. I'm thinking a person oblivious of red pill ideas will get really in the beginning with all the new lingo. Have you had any comments from total 'newbies'? Otherwise I love your concise writing style, and hope you keep publishing.

SaltyMoe · 2014-04-11T20:37:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience with the world.

[deleted] · 2014-04-11T21:22:59+00:00

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Chinny4daWinny · 2014-04-11T21:45:15+00:00

Hey Mr. Tomassi, what are some things from your site and book people like me still in high school should focus on doing? I've already started exercising more. What else should we (I) implement?

buddhabullshit · 2014-04-11T23:41:24+00:00

Why did you get married?

sd4c · 2014-04-12T02:01:19+00:00

Hi Rollo,

Bought your book for my Kindle, it's great.

Should we care if a girl cheats, if she always prioritizes you first, gives you amazing, flithy sex, and goes to great lengths to hide/deny its occurrence?
We are all tempted to go through our FWB, GF, or wife's things: email, FB, phone. Should we? It seems like good move "tactically", but a bad mood from a "keeping frame" perspective; it would be hard to confront her as a bad ass if we discover something that could only be known by snooping, which seems like needy behavior (vs abundance).

Thanks for your contributions to the community, you have helped define it and I pass along your teachings, often.

paulo007 · 2014-04-12T14:04:07+00:00

Hi Rollo what's your take on this one ( http://www.upworthy.com/a-ted-talk-that-might-turn-every-man-who-watches-it-into-a-feminist-its-pretty-fantastic-7?c=ufb3 )

Deepstare · 2014-04-12T17:54:46+00:00

My GF of ~4 months has gone through some changes. Initially when we started the sex was when I want it, how I want it, I want to use her vibrator on her? done, I want back to back BJ? Done. I want to handcuff her? Done. I also make sure she orgasms 3-5x a night (hands/mouth/penis/anal etc.)

This last month the sex has gone down, we still have sex ~3-4x a week and I see her max 3 days a week. But my initiatiion-sex ratio has gone down from ~0.9 to ~0.4 recently.

Also my last 3x where I indicated I wanted a BJ she said no, before that she's NEVER said no. She's given me ~60 blowjobs these last 4 months.

Although I do realize i have become a little more beta, it isn't much, based on your readings and heartiste a relationship must be a combo of beta/alpha.

Anyways, I hope this isn't a trend and more of a bump while she's having some issues at home that I'm aware of (parents trouble/new job stress etc.), but if it is, how can I reverse it? Because the alternative is to drop her.. which I'd rather not because she's my ideal girl: a phenomenal cook/baker, amazing sex+BJs, only been with 3 guys before me. Seems loyal to the core. good manners etc.

Any advice? Love your book btw, should read it again soon.

Labore_Et_Constantia · 2014-04-13T00:58:34+00:00

Thank you for doing this Q and A

I'm a high SMV male and just curious on to how much dread game I need to run within relationships, I know some say to keep a decent amount of it, but is my value to her implied just by the simple fact that I get stares/warm reception and smiles everywhere I go or do I still need to stay on top of that?

Rugby11 · 2014-09-09T17:08:23+00:00

Rollo thank you for your book.

Schrodingersdawg · 2014-04-11T17:43:33+00:00

When I approach a woman during the day, what's the best mindset I should have in order to not have to resort to canned lines/ make thugs seem more natural? Should I comment on something she's wearing / doing? College campuses are great, except everyone's busy going from point A to point B.

Thanks.

aaronsharif · 2014-04-11T18:36:17+00:00

Where you always a dominant "alpha male", and if not when did you really go through a paradigm shift and swallow the red pill?

Title	Rollo Tomassi AMA
Author	Rollo-Tomassi
Upvotes	203
Comments	233
Date	April 11, 2014 4:03 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/22sbxe/rollo_tomassi_ama/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/rollo-tomassi-ama.13928 https://theredarchive.com/post/13928

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