What I learned about dating a single mother.

sir_wankalot_here · 2016-07-10T13:46:18+00:00

You don't date single moms, you juat fuck them while they date someone else.

RPmatrix · 2016-07-10T11:55:14+00:00

16) Her mother's a cunt, always.

the dreaded 'flag of flags' .... as soon as you disover this it's time to leave disceetely

Noctis_Cloud · 2016-07-10T15:01:25+00:00

21) Expect non stop shit tests. Every waking second with a single mother will consist of shit test. Maintaining frame will become extremely frustrating. It will be hard not to angry at the bitch who is constantly nagging you over petty stuff while her kid is running around the house misbehaving for attention.

JackGetsIt · 2016-07-10T15:15:00+00:00

12) You date her Ex as much as you date her, he's always present.

I've seen this a lot. There's a good chance that if you're fucking a single mother you are now a pawn in a chess game between her and her ex. She will either use you to get him back or punish him.

Also don't forget number 21

21) You won't be allowed to discipline her bratty, poorly parented kids.

RedditAdminsSuck_88 · 2016-07-10T13:03:39+00:00

This post is a bunch of bullshit.

Know how I know?

Because the mainstream media, websites like Buzzfeed and TV shows like Gilmore Girls have told me time and time again that single mothers are noble prizes that every high value man should be fighting for to win over.

Who am I going to trust, the mainstream media, or some random reddit poster?

ElectricDruid · 2016-07-10T11:24:12+00:00

Thanks for outlining the reasons to never date a single mom

DoctorNation · 2016-07-10T11:10:36+00:00

Dating single moms. Beta life 101

50pluspiller · 2016-07-10T10:07:34+00:00

Russian soldiers don't go on shore leave, maybe Russian sailors do.

Otherwise, a good list.

Heathcliff-- · 2016-07-10T14:13:32+00:00

The classic retroactive cuckold. Don't do this to yourself.

Ojisan1 · 2016-07-10T15:09:20+00:00

You could cross any 10 things off this list, and it would still be shitty deal for the man.

Brewjo · 2016-07-10T17:23:03+00:00

My single mother story, pre-redpill @ 26:

Getting to know a woman (22/w 4yo son) I met on a short course, a couple of dates later and some couch play these next two realizations drive me away faster than the phrase 'Get out of my apartment, I'm calling 911'.

I meet her mom, she has a decent management position at a major grocery store. This made me think 'wtf, how come your daughter isn't working there instead of being on welfare 100%'.

A couple of days after that, I overhear her talking to her friend over morning break saying "I think I want another baby, that way I won't have to work until 2020 under the law and get full benefits...".

Fuckin' lost her number after that. I took the blue-balls over that trap even when people were telling me how awesome it is to "step up to the plate and be the man they deserve".

MattyAnon · 2016-07-10T16:58:48+00:00

She either puts her kids before you, or she's a shit mother, neither option is great.

Single moms are fine for fucking. Do not be exclusive with one, ever... that's just cuckoldry.

jedininjaman · 2016-07-10T15:39:08+00:00

Her friends all either hate you or covertly want to fuck you - hardly unique to single mothers

makeshift98 · 2016-07-10T14:36:59+00:00

I never understand the hate for single mothers. She is busy, you're busy, she comes over for sex and then leaves. It's not like anyone here would actually be stupid enough to get into a serious monogamous relationship with one, right?

IndescisiveUser · 2016-07-10T16:07:37+00:00

Holy shit...this post is on point. Coming out of a relationship with a single mother I can vouch for a lot of these except for couple of them (not spending the night,not furthering their education)

But the one with mental health, social media and always coming last ( to be expected ).

Remind me to gold star this once I get to an actual computer.

kick6 · 2016-07-10T16:41:12+00:00

What I learned about dating a single mother: don't.

[deleted] · 2016-07-10T17:31:54+00:00

It is like fighting a midget. If you win, you lose, if you lose you lose.

If you date a single mom and "do the right thing" you subject yourself to a shitty situation where you are captain save a ho.

If you break up with a single mom you are "an asshole" "not a real man" "not secure enough in your masculinity to raise another man's kid" blah blah blah

Just avoid. Have standards and youll never go hungry.

powerwinch · 2016-07-10T09:39:17+00:00

Single moms apparently make good plates.

firmness · 2016-07-10T12:51:13+00:00

Betas should not date single moms. Alphas should fuck them.

GunsGermsAndSteel · 2016-07-10T16:25:38+00:00

I'm in a relationship with a mom. I have two step kids. QUIT HOVERING OVER THE DOWNVOTE BUTTON. I came into the relationship bringing two kids of my own.

That being said, I agree with the OP... It's incredibly rare to find a single mother who isn't a gold-digging, marriage-obsessed social media junkie.

I don't have any of those problems with my spouse, I think because we are both older than the typical single mom (she is 38, I'm 42), and we both had established careers before the relationship- in fact, she makes a lot more money than me.

It can be hard to get free time together, but we make a point of going on trips together- most recently to Colorado, where she alternated between fucking my brains out, and buying me expensive things.

She has tolerated me fucking other women through this whole relationship, admitting that she would rather share an alpha than have a beta all to herself. She has never liked it, but she also has never left me for it. (Currently I'm not fucking other women. Not for lack of availability, just my own lack of interest.)

She is obsessed with keeping me happy- some days I have to tell her NOT to bring me dinner at work because I'd prefer she get a little more sleep (she works nights at the hospital). She actually gets upset almost to the point of tears if I don't let her do things for me.

Her partner count is ridiculously low for a person of our age- so low that when she told me, I actually laughed. You know how they say that whatever number a woman gives you, you should triple that, and that's probably closer to the truth? Okay, I tripled it... Still far less than half of my number.

I would say I got lucky, but that's not true. After my divorce I dated and fucked a LOT of women, and didn't settle for less than I was worth. There was no luck involved. I dated in the way that women date- I was cold, calculating, and interested solely in my own needs.

Her having a couple kids is actually a plus to me. I've been a single dad for a long time and dating women who don't have kids usually ends with them feeling upset when I have to put my kids first. A woman who has kids of her own understands that. Plus her kids are great, and I particularly like having a boy in the house- both my kids are girls, so in the past I never had a boy to pass man knowledge onto. That's pretty fulfilling.

As for the whole "not having a male heir of my own" thing, I came to terms with that a long time ago, when a doctor told me my chances of ever having another kid were less than 1%. Anyway, if either of my girls gives me a grandson, boom, there's my heir.

Back to my original point though- I agree with OP for the most part, because I recognize my relationship as being far from the norm. Most single moms are greedy, manipulative cunts with bad judgment and loose morals.

Mountin-man46 · 2016-07-10T14:13:54+00:00

I lost interest in her around #4

ANGRY_ATHEIST · 2016-07-10T15:55:13+00:00

I'd put all these in the AWALT category. A lot of the bullet points here don't just apply to single moms, and YMMV.

TheEssexian · 2016-07-10T21:33:38+00:00

I've dated a few. MANY of these problems have come up, but many do not come up with most of them.

These are certainly things to watch out for.

Though I might sound optimistic about dating SM, or combative to this view, I do agree with the spirit of it, and the overwhelming majority of these relationship will end.

Bottom line is this: she chose a shitty father, and you will be a resource for her first priority, which is either herself or her children.

epicaricacy12 · 2016-07-10T17:26:30+00:00

yep, she's single for a reason

justgotalpha · 2016-07-10T17:45:24+00:00

The first rule to dating single moms its actually NOT to date them.understand they are not looking for alpha males they know they cant attact them easily anymore.they are looking for beta bux and any man who gives them attention its put in the provider zone.

I had this single mom i was fucking.i will say a 6HB with a fatass!!! I knew what i was getting myself into and was calculating her every move,she was being too kind and submissive even buying me stuff(i was the gold digging whore in this case lol) the moment i saw she was trying to make me commit thats when i stopped the text,visits ( yeah pussy gets boring after a while) and i would always gave an excuse of being busy at work so that she will look for another prey.

Lessons learned: if you date them yes all the things OP said can happen.

Be smart to only fuck them They will be very submissive at first They are damaged goods Get ready to have wild and caliente!!! Sex (dont fall for it) nothing but hoes and tricks (AWALT)

TheEssexian · 2016-07-10T21:32:22+00:00

The paradox of dating single mothers: if she's a good mother, she will never put your first; if she puts you first over her kids, she's really not the type of person you want to be with.

If you date a SM, you have to be prepared to be #2 after her kids. If you can't handle that, pass.

Ka0zzz · 2016-07-10T22:05:42+00:00

You nailed it. Just divorcing (yeah I know) one of them atm.

Trumpanoly · 2016-07-11T01:58:58+00:00

You should never meet the single mothers kids. As a man it is not your responsibility to take care of someone else's children.

Single mothers can be a lot of fun, and potentially more sexually adventurous.

But, they are damaged goods. Never to be promoted past plate status.

Also for the children's sake, never get involved in their lives.

I know one girl who brings her bf of the week to play with her kids at the park. Who knows what kind of long term damage that will cause the kids growing up. Disgusting behaviour.

Swole_is_life · 2016-07-11T03:31:22+00:00

There are three types of single moms:

The idiots who got pregnant by a guy who never intended to stick around in any way. Probably because she was too dumb to know how birth control works.
The ones who did lock down/marry the dad but drove him away by being awful. Think about that for a minute. She's so bad she made the guy abandon his own offspring.
The widows. Not many of these and they're the only ones who deserve a second glance. Though she's likely to be literally an alpha widow, she at least isn't a single mom simply because she's an awful person.

RedDragon41 · 2016-07-10T15:51:46+00:00

Single moms try harder than any type of girl if you get them chasing hard enough. Because they have more to lose and less to offer usually. If you put her in her place regularly its not hard to get them not be a cunt, if you don't though she'll be a SUPER cunt.

TheBlibberdude · 2016-07-10T21:28:21+00:00

You're stating the obvious here. Also, why date her in the first place, if she has a terrible personality?

1) That's a little vague. 2) Of course you come last. She's got children. 3) Of course your free time is spent around her kids. She needs to look after them, which means she'll be around them most of the time. 4) Yes... She has to spend time looking after her children. 5 and onwards) She sounds like a douche. Why would you date her in the first place?

bigk12345 · 2016-07-10T15:47:47+00:00

"You cannot possibly understand the profound feeling of betrayal when one wakes up from that. "

This is the best comment of the thread.

It is easy to justify women's' feelings in society and their innate ability to cover shit ie guy she is banging a week after you is just a friend."

Women are handed everything and expect to just be.

Men are told to suck it up.

Frankly , after my BPD encounter , I felt like a little bitch thinking why do I feel so empty, worthless, and abused, especially with a person that wants to get married and I gave her everything only to watch her run to the same type of guys that she bitched about in a first place.

Women don't know what they want and expect men to Figure it out. Except for they are totally unable to provide to Explanation on how to do so and when you give them your all , you are considered to be a beta bitch who isn't Willing to stand up to her and lose attraction.

These are things that most of the women will never confess because it is in their nature to Justify things.

My buddy was just telling me a story of an attractive woman he knows.

She regularly goes on dates with NBA players that fly her out. She barely graduated university and has no ambition in life except for to find a rich hubby and flat out admits she looks up players salaries.

Another friend told me one of the biggest former NBA stars flew out a girl that recently divorced ( just a week ago) to bang her. The poor sap is probably watching the ink dry on the divorce papers while she is already out for her next set of adventures.

This is just the game and how it works.

The first chapter in The Rational Male alone was eye-opening . There is no perfect girl, just good or bad in terms of fit. That is it.

None of the Disney land bullshit about Prince Charming.

Prince Charming is fucking other girls on the side and chooses his princess because of genuine desire to be with him and all the real life experience and mastery he has gained.

leroymcfiggans · 2016-07-10T17:03:37+00:00

This post just helped cement the thoughts I was thinking as my friend I've known since high school told me she won't be married anymore. I have no desire to date her, but I wouldn't mind but I wouldn't mind fucking her. I reckon im learning.

claybunnies · 2016-07-10T17:21:36+00:00

Did we date the same person? Never again. But, she did red pill me.

Icanus · 2016-07-10T18:50:15+00:00

What are your thoughts on dating (young) widows? (a different kind of single mom)

BioshockBrah · 2016-07-10T19:42:52+00:00

I'v dated a few single moms and almost everything OP said is correct. Not fucking kidding. Damn son, spot on.

e4tshit · 2016-07-10T20:06:43+00:00

This post is shockingly accurate. I've never smiled so angerly in my life. I don't need to type the story, OP already did.

[deleted] · 2016-07-10T21:01:59+00:00

The only time its acceptable to date a single mom/raise another man's child, is if you have expendable wealth and you already have biological children of your own.

Despite my distaste for most of the echo chamber nonsense that goes on here, staying clear of single moms is one piece of advice that every man should take to heart. The BEST that can come of it is that you forgo extending your genetic line into the future... and any self respecting guy (who wants that) should not do it.

External12 · 2016-07-10T21:04:49+00:00

My experience was very different. She drank lots of whiskey, loved fucking, and would leave her 12 year old at home a lot. Never really made me pay for stuff either. Very low maintenance. We never considered each other a item as much as friends for the months we hung out.

aazav · 2016-07-10T21:40:00+00:00

18) She never has any money of her own yet magically accumulates new clothing items (from other men)

Her M.O. is to use others to gain items for her. She's a user and will use anyone for her personal gain.

GC0W30 · 2016-07-10T21:55:53+00:00

21) She will lie about and sabotage birth control to get your baby in her to keep her claws in your wallet for 18+ years.

On the upside, I had a vasectomy I never told her about... but she was pregnant by the next guy 75 days after I left when she demanded I leave my live-in girlfriend for her.

infiniteslinky · 2016-07-11T04:50:42+00:00

Yeah... When my crush from high school who never had the time or interest for me moved home after getting her jaw broken by her ex-husband magically started showing some interest, I realized pretty quickly it was for my money and nothing else. You always have to remember that women's plan b is a man.

solidsnork · 2016-07-11T05:39:42+00:00

I don't date single mothers. I make them.

iHATEhooligans · 2016-07-11T06:19:53+00:00

Dude a-fucking-men. I dated a single mother and this exactly is what I would have wrote. I would've added that she usually has daddy problems too.

88Will88 · 2016-07-11T07:01:06+00:00

I am going to be a voice of dissent here rather than join the echo chamber. Of course all of the above can be true but I do not think single mums are particularly worse than any other woman. They have problems peculiar to them and I do not personally think any woman is suitable for true commitment , just fucking or plating so I do not come at this from an LTR or SO perspective. Also I am much older than most of you, so I run into a lot of hot single mums. If she is hot, she is getting fucked.

All single mums are different. I have met ones from great families, some with great bodies/ minds, some with weak bodies/ minds. They are just garden variety women. I know there are major posts by major contributors in here "all single mums are scum" etc. I would just say "all women are scum". So I will list some advantages a single mum has over other women (YES there are major disadvantages as well, all adequately covered in the above post):

If you are alpha they treat you alpha. If you are beta then you deserve to deal with all of the shit listed above. Standard AF/BB rules apply
They can have cars and nice houses. They can pick you up, cook you a killer meal, fuck your brains out in their nice smelling rooms, let you drink their best wine and drive you home.
They have their own money. Either they were part of a double income family, or they got a chunk of ex-betas money which they will use to buy you nice shit and pay their own air fares on holidays
Wisdom. Kids make even the dumbest of fucks wiser. Sometimes this leads to some half decent conversations and world views.
They are freaks in bed, yes they always give up the ass, you gotta love that
If you have kids yourself like me they make good baby sitters and it makes for a decent diversion or mixed play date for the kids. Plus they clean up after me and my kids (I do not clean, that is woman's work)
If she has nice kids you can have some fun interactions with the kids. I like kids, I have kids, kids are better than grown ups, less fucked up and more honest
That's it. They are just as fucked up as all other women.

Enjoy

individua1 · 2016-07-10T20:39:42+00:00

I read these articles and a few points are valid here and there, however it mostly sounds like broken-hearted guys bitching about failed relationships.

At no point do I hear the OP mention his own personal failings (been a pushover). After all, how did he get to list so many negatives from one person, if he himself wasn't such a sucker for punishment?

People only get to mistreat you, if you let them. If a negative comes up and you don't like it. Just ask her to fix up or your out of the door for good (all these negatives should be dealt with as early as possible). Also remember that your shit can stink too, so be reasonable. People can't always choose their family, but they can tell them to shut the f%#t up. So be prepared to give and take, but do not betray you principles.

Ask for her to fix the problem ASAP or the relationship is over for you. Stand by your word and have the guts follow through. Understand your value! If she believes you have value, she will remove the negative in order to keep you. If she does not value you, then you have lost nothing by leaving her, as she does not value you enough to take action.

If you have stated your relationship laws (likes & dislikes) early and she agrees to them because your a good catch. Then you don't even get to make that giant list of negatives because she knows "she's gotta do the work to keep you".

If a woman knows you are valuable, she will remove all bullshit that may cause you to walk. Because you have stated that "I will walk". And you are a man of your word because she knows you can not be "fear of lossed" but pussy alone.

However, my advice only works if you have value (positive emotional worth). So a man has to be an emotional asset. Her plus you = a better situation for her. And I don't mean because you have money.

A good woman knows when she has a good thing. A woman who is bad for you, doesn't know a good man and will give you a list of disrespect like the one you have got. So just leave her ass early if she isn't ready for you. You will have lost nothing.

A sneaky woman can only fake caring for so long. Eventually she will show her true colours and f%*k up (if you give her time). So do not rush in with women. Don't move in with her in the first two years. Keeps a little independence so you can walk away quickly if you need to.

She is the one who should fear losing you. And in return, you will get a woman you too, fear losing.

My last question for you to ask yourself: Are you a good catch? If not, you have some work to do first unless my advice won't work.

Nydusurmainus · 2016-07-10T23:25:26+00:00

2) You ALWAYS come last

This means she is being a good parent, the child should always come first for her and then herself so she can take care of the child. As soon as you have a kid that's it your needs and wants no longer matter it is all about the kid. If you don't understand this then you are an idiot or just a selfish piece of shit. If you were a single father you should do the same, give up going out and fucking around and focus on raising that child the best you can.

Newbosterone · 2016-07-10T11:38:12+00:00

This is one for the sidebar. NASMALT, but every single mother has one or more of these characteristics. You decide what you're willing to put up with.

val-amart · 2016-07-10T15:54:54+00:00

wow, how is this shit getting upvoted here? the guy just sounds like an angry beta

favours_of_the_moon · 2016-07-10T15:35:00+00:00

5) Your money is her first priority, her child is her second

Sounds like you're the BB. Btw, her mom should secretly want to bang you.

jumpyfrog2015 · 2016-07-10T17:51:47+00:00

I would strongly agree with about half of your list (which is still high)

Felt like I was behind her kids, her job, going to the gym and keeping the peace with her ex. Roped into about 6 hours of watching the kids per week.

She would often say "my kids and I are a package deal". Sadly that package deal came with her ex-husband.

After we broke up, went on a few dates with single moms but I was a bit wiser and asked more questions which led to a head for the hills.

My friends and family were concerned and glad I got out.

Loneliness is better than nonsense.

Sebleh89 · 2016-07-10T18:36:49+00:00

Point by point, this reminds me of my ex, except it was a dog instead of an actual child.

ArmyofDumb · 2016-07-10T21:53:37+00:00

When I read this subreddit I fluctuate between thinking this sub is full of red-pill alphas or will-never-be red-pill losers and most of the comments in here solidify the later.

Time to grow up, boys.

LexisNexiss · 2016-07-10T15:28:57+00:00

A plate or two occasionally is fine, but the nonsense that goes with this is too much. Literally, almost all of those characteristics r true in some capacity. Don't ever marry or get one pregnant. Than its over

Pastelitomaracucho · 2016-07-10T16:54:25+00:00

Good list. Nothing new under the sun, tho.

Well deserved, OP. Think it twice the next time.

doveenigma13 · 2016-07-10T18:49:00+00:00

Those rules don't always all apply, but some of them always do.

MAWL_SC · 2016-07-10T19:47:09+00:00

21) She may be furious at the fact she was pumped and dumped, and until she resolves that anger she will be a toxic bitch to everyone in her life, especially if the child is male because she sees her ex's face in the child every single day.

Gawernator · 2016-07-10T19:52:55+00:00

Russian soldiers are always on shore, I think you meant Russian sailors* on shore leave

getRedPill · 2016-07-10T20:12:26+00:00

Now we are on this topic:.

Why would a young beautiful woman you are talking to would bring without you asking she is a mom. Have seen it two or three times recently

mach0927 · 2016-07-10T20:15:56+00:00

Damn dude. Not all are that bad. Of course they are looking for a provider and such but there are single moms who are aware a relationship goes two ways. Likely hard to find though.

TheEssexian · 2016-07-10T21:34:08+00:00

7) Her friends all either hate you or covertly want to fuck you

This sometimes makes it worth it ;-)

mmmoreos · 2016-07-10T22:37:47+00:00

Lmao this is true. Just fuck them. I was banging a single mom in my college hometown while she was dating football players or some older wealthy guy. Fun while it lasted but I have my own life and goals. I don't want her past mishaps to shape my future.

IllusionDestroyer666 · 2016-07-10T23:04:08+00:00

Any man that chooses to be a cuckold deserves a shit GF

L_darkside · 2016-07-11T00:22:39+00:00

I really don't see the difference with the behavior of any other kind of girls.

sd4c · 2016-07-11T16:09:21+00:00

Upvote u/light_a_man_a_fire's comment below, which contains all 20 items in the OPs list, which was removed or deleted!

Man_from_Poland · 2016-07-10T12:39:51+00:00

Ok, propably you mean "divorced mothers" but what about widow mother from traditional family with strong and masculine father? I mean, woman get marriage with her first sexual partner, doing children xD and her husband died suddenly. What then? Get her to ltr or not?

sterlinghtsmi · 2016-07-10T20:32:47+00:00

Wtf...are you 17yrs old??? Hardly 2 out of 20 apply to all single mothers. And the guys who date single moms are usually single dads, so they get it, not recent college grads looking to build a life. You're a fucking tool.

[deleted] · 2016-07-10T21:50:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

chances_are_ur_a_fag · 2016-07-10T22:51:31+00:00

I never was in a relationship per se with a single mom, but have spent enough time around quite a few. I agree and disagree with your post in a sense that they come in a variety of ways. some are exactly as you describe, others pretty much complete opposite, for the exception of a few overlapping traits between both spectrums. my rule, and always has been, is to never date them and generally stay away.

Theotropho · 2016-07-10T23:06:53+00:00

not all single moms are like this. xD

NeverCountToThree · 2016-07-10T14:11:29+00:00

[deleted]

TheReddHobbit · 2016-07-10T16:09:10+00:00

Good list except for 16, her mother was a saint.

chewbacaflocka · 2016-07-10T18:58:11+00:00

Similar to dating a woman with dogs... oy.

[deleted] · 2016-07-10T12:00:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Chameleonpolice · 2016-07-10T16:30:15+00:00

Does trp typically attribute the behaviors of a single person to an entire population?

Title	What I learned about dating a single mother.
Author	NeverCountToThree
Upvotes	446
Comments	368
Date	July 10, 2016 9:34 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4s4uq1/what_i_learned_about_dating_a_single_mother/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/what-i-learned-about-dating-a-single-mother.60658 https://theredarchive.com/post/60658

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