After trying this stuff for 4 months I concluded that nothing works unless the woman is already attracted to you from the start and everything here is basically bullshit

Ikem32 · 2022-02-28T21:43:03+00:00

The most interesting thing about attraction I read was, „Do you match your own definition of being an attractive guy?“. That should show.

whatever_man12 · 2022-02-28T20:45:08+00:00

You're right. If she ain't attracted to you from the beginning the whole interaction with her will feel like a dead end/awkward because she made it awkward/empty because she doesn't find you attractive. The charm, confidence, eye contact all that should already be firing but if she ain't attracted it ain't finna do shit. But guys like to cope and convince themselves otherwise, if someone chick you found ugly came up to you and started to chat you up, you're gonna entertain her for a couple minutes then end it--> same applies with women.

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-02-28T21:32:05+00:00

banged 2 chicks in 4 months would be fantastic

Sup3rHD · 2022-02-28T20:44:06+00:00

You understood everything.

Game exist only when a girl is already attracted to you.

gangweedsavedme · 2022-02-28T23:11:00+00:00

This kinda sounds like Sales… where I work, most of the people I solicit a free trial are gonna say no right off the bat, then you have people that will give you a chance and people that end up buying the product. There’s always considerably more “no”s than yes’s (>90%), even for someone like me being a top salesman.

Given, people only have a few seconds to decide if they want to be sold something.

Though I do believe attraction can be built over time if you have a consistent smoothness in your interactions (confidence), or relatively high social skills/status (though looks help obviously).

Important-Quote9544 · 2022-02-28T21:09:38+00:00

Yup if she is attracted then everything is easy. Setting up dates is easier, replies are quicker, convos are easier, signs are obvious, etc. Low interest to mid interest: slow replies, excuses, everything is harder. And no amount of game or confidence will convert these low to mid interest women

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-02-28T20:44:17+00:00

“I played football, training everyday for 4 months of my life and didn’t win the world cup, didn’t win any trophies and didn’t win any tournament, so training is useless… The only way to win is if your team has better players than the the enemy team.”

norwegiandoggo · 2022-02-28T20:40:28+00:00

It's interesting to hear your experience. My experience has been a bit different. While I agree with your essential premise that some percentage of initial attraction has to be there to "work with", my experience is that you can easily make many mistakes along the way that turn an initial interest into nothing. I consider seduction to largely be about reducing those mistakes. Can't tell you how many opportunities I lost or blundered because I did something wrong when there was some initial interest. But it is definitely in the hundreds. Now of course some girls are so incredibly attracted to you that they will let you get away with a ton of mistakes. But many are in the camp of "somewhat attracted but need to see more" and you can win those over by making very few mistakes, and making a good impression in many other ways. Don't think attraction is binary. She's either into you or she's not. It doesn't work like that. Attraction is more like a sliding scale or a percentage that can shift up and down depending on how the interaction goes.

2022-03-01T00:42:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

bandsupjay · 2022-02-28T22:21:21+00:00

Well yea. Choose women that choose you lol. Wyd, being needy?

timetobbetter · 2022-02-28T21:09:42+00:00

What exactly are you doing? How are you positioned when talking to them, are you only approaching 10s or everyone? What do you say when you are talking to them? You said you can make them laugh when you crack jokes… where in the conversation do you make the joke? At the beginning, middle, a last ditch effort at the end after you lose your confidence because you’re worried they’re no longer interested. There is a lot of information missing here for people to give good feedback. It’s similar to saying “I’ve been going to the gym every day for the past 4 months but haven’t seen any results.” When you have gone to the gym but don’t pick up any weights and challenge your muscles.

I have recently tried this over the past 1-2 months and have gotten 5 numbers through day/ night game and talked to 3 of them and 10 numbers from dating apps, texted with 8 of them and went on a date with 2 but I’m having fun along the way and MOST IMPORTANTLY making mistakes and LEARNING from them.

It sounds like you are wanting your life and understanding of women to change overnight. You are expecting people to just be attracted to you because you go to the gym, have nice hair etc. they may think you are cute but the second you approach them they sense some inner issues going on. Maybe take a step back and don’t be in a huge rush to get to the finish line. Try just having easy interactions with people, older guys, older women, people at the store, etc. the old people, They’ve seen it all and the ones I’ve spoken to know a shit ton of social skills and typically will crack jokes just while having casual conversations. They’re the true pros. Get comfortable with yourself and amuse yourself, don’t live to try to please others. Once you unlock inner peace you are on a whole new level and people will take note.

Also, the two women you described, it sounds like they literally just wanted to have sex with anyone no matter who. That would explain the ghosting afterwards. Which there are people who do that. Many guys are DTF from the start. Only a select few women are also dtf. Maybe you just happened to get lucky and meet them on the one night you went out which means that it wouldn’t have taken a lot of effort to get them into bed. I also met a woman like this on tinder. She told me I was the only guy who swiped on her and thought I was a 10/10. And now sends me nudes. It was luck that our profiles matched with eachother and it didn’t take much to get a “spark” going because all she wanted to do was talk about sex.

SDdude81 · 2022-03-01T00:13:17+00:00

The basic concept is, "If a woman likes you she'll make it easy for you." The goal of game is learn how recognize when she is interested and then not to turn her off.

The hardest part though is the realization and acceptance that you can't make a woman like you. Honestly that's really depressing. As the author pointed out, very few women are going to be interested.

It feels like the game is rigged.

Casanova-Quinn · 2022-03-01T00:51:39+00:00

I'm just going to point out some things I see.

4 months is not a long time. No one gets "good" at anything that quickly.
Are you only going after certain types of girls? (ethnicity, figure, style) What girls do you have the best results with?
You workout, but do you actually look muscular?
I see no mention of your clothing. Have you tried to improve that? Have women ever complimented your outfits?

Food for thought.

Reaver_ · 2022-03-01T01:37:49+00:00

Your attitude and sense of entitlement in this post tells me everything you left out that's ruining your game, and it's only adding to how unbearably whiny this sub has become. Would love for you to break down how you've approached these "several hundred" girls so we can get a more accurate idea of what your issue is and dispel this petty and lame ass conclusion you've come to.

Zebrahead033 · 2022-03-01T01:54:18+00:00

I struggle as well. The amount of rejections and ghosting from OLD is ridiculous. Working on my day game now.

I do have 1 tip though. Even if they aren't really what you want, it's good to try and build your fwb options. Before covid I had a handful of women I would keep on rotation. I wouldn't consider being in a relationship with any of them, but hooking up was just fine.

They wouldn't always say yes, but because I had multiple to choose from, chances are one of them would be available.

The biggest take away from this is that I no longer felt, needy or desperate for sex, attention, validation or social interaction with women. This made pursing other women much more enjoyable. Even if I got rejected it didn't matter because I knew I could still get laid whenever I wanted.

BronzeInABush · 2022-03-01T02:02:20+00:00

Nah I disagree, just like how attraction can be killed it can also be created. Just like how new information can make you change your mind about fucking a woman, the same can be applied to you. If the thought of not fucking someone that is down because you dont want bad sex is something you aren't considering then there is still a lot of growth coming. The ultimate goal is the journey not the destination. Just learn all you can and try different things.

bringbackswordduels · 2022-03-01T02:14:15+00:00

Seems kind of disingenuous that you didn’t mention you were a virgin in the post, just in the comments…

Baconbits16 · 2022-03-01T02:29:51+00:00

Most advice seems to be extreme game or complete denial of it.I've messed things up being a clueless dork, but too much game and you're that tool that classy women spot a mile away.

You're personally trying to live in two different worlds tho, lol.If you're looking for a gf, then don't worry about getting laid.If it's about getting laid then don't worry about girls your not into ghosting you after.

conservativehippy666 · 2022-03-01T03:51:04+00:00

Don't be a pessimistic douche and you'd be surprised how attraction level goes wayyy up

A-Good-Weather-Man · 2022-03-01T04:10:58+00:00

Bro was sent to the shadow realm

RSNK10 · 2022-02-28T20:29:04+00:00

How can someone you haven’t met be attracted to you if you haven’t introduced yourself or approached them? Seems like a really limiting mindset.

I see a lot of posts like this and it always gives girls the power to be the selector. Girls don’t want to be the selector!!! WOMEN WANT TO BE SELECTED. They want you to be confident in approaching them, and if you aren’t…they’ll meet a guy who is.

If you’re having shortcomings is easy to blame this subreddit, but it’s the girls rejecting you not the people who post on here.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-02-28T20:56:07+00:00

You are getting warmer but not there yet. Yes, it is not about what you do. It is about who you are. If you are a man and show up as a man you will never have a lack of women on your life.

2022-02-28T21:43:28+00:00

Yup lmao. Took me a while to figure this out as well, but at least we figured it out. Some guys go their whole lives believing this shit is some magic pill.

politits · 2022-02-28T22:19:19+00:00

You’re close, but missing a few keys: you’re right that most of this sub is awful bullshit, and you’re on the right path in working on yourself physically in the gym and with grooming. Now you need to step up your social/conversational skills and emotional intelligence. Were you pitching these women and trying to impress them or were you demonstrating genuine interest in them and the things they said? Are you self-aware about your faults? Can you laugh at yourself? Do you meditate? Are you in therapy? Women care WAY more about personality and how you talk to and treat them than men tend to. Looks are a huge plus, but they can only get you so far. Personality matters way more.

Jailhouseredpilled93 · 2022-02-28T23:25:54+00:00

Agreed. She must attracted first. But game does help with the process after the fact. Game also helped me distinguish the girls who are attracted so I don't waste time on a girl who is just stringing me along.

glow43 · 2022-03-01T00:24:36+00:00

Not gonna lie as negative as this is, these are the best field reports people starting out can read and see.

Stop being so much in your head. People like OP already did everything for you and figured it out. Just go out and see which girl likes you. Stop wasting time on ''posture, eye contact, confidence'' if she likes you she likes you.

b_a_d_r0b0t · 2022-02-28T23:44:50+00:00

Women fuck who they want, guys fuck who they can.

2022-03-01T00:21:39+00:00

Why u gotta blackpill me like that dawg

MuMuGorgeus · 2022-03-01T00:49:26+00:00

Assuming it's true this is a very important post. To me is expectations vs reality, you hear from attractive friends and the internet that it's all about confidence and all those characteristics we hear over and over again.

You work on yourself, you do as you are told but you are faced with absolutely nothing but rejection. So at some point you stop and wonder "Wait, this doesn't work for me, not at all, since it seems to work for everybody else, I AM the problem.

But maybe, maybe you're just not lucky, you probably rarely meet a girl that apreatiates your features and likes your attitude.

Either a matter of skill or being born good looking am clueless, and I prefer to believe that if am being myself and having a good time, that's what counts, because if stop to worry about my "yes rate" I'm gonna live feeling emasculated.

One question though, are you ugly, from one to ten, I'm asking because I'm a 4, and sometimes wonder if that isn't the reason for my lack of "game"

rustoof · 2022-03-01T00:53:19+00:00

That's cool. I've been doing it for 17 years and I disagree.

Snoo-62854 · 2022-03-01T00:54:54+00:00

I think guys like me never feel confident about girls liking them or something like it could happen to them. I guess that's the way it is. Guys who feel confident about it just are present in that moment or feeling that this could happen to them. Life is random and painful. Why doesn't it stop, I mean I just want to accept the fact that it's something not for me and move on and live my life. I am more happy when attractive girls aren't around me or I am not thinking about them. They just make me realize my failure. Which I want to accept and get along with.

shinymusic · 2022-03-01T00:57:36+00:00

I disagree with you. Not 100% but a lot. If you really think standing upright, making eye contact, being confident in who you are, and having dedicated hobbies are not helping than you're probably missing something.

To me this subreddit is about expanding your level of girls you can attract.

wtjones · 2022-03-01T00:58:11+00:00

Assume attraction from the get go is the best way to build attraction. From reading this post, you seem kind of negative. Girls pick up on that.

Perfect_War5446 · 2022-03-01T00:58:30+00:00

Well duh

bewaregravity · 2022-03-01T01:17:14+00:00

Bruh at that rate that's banging 6 new girls a year ! You dropped your crown king !

SNTMLI · 2022-03-01T01:25:24+00:00

big fax

JediSwaggins · 2022-03-01T02:10:09+00:00

I’ve been saying this tbh. Girls pick you not the other way around and that’s why I tell people to work on being more interesting vs being more smooth.

Mystery_Basket_76 · 2022-03-01T02:19:43+00:00

I'm sure you've seen guys the same or less physically attractive than you do better with more attractive women. So what's the difference between you?

In the last few months I've gotten with girl's that are hotter than I would have thought I stood any chance with a few years ago. I might have improved a bit looks/dress wise, but not significantly. What has changed is my attitude, and my social skills. So if looks were the only factor, maybe I could have been getting these kinds of girls years ago. But I never did, because I would always mess things up. This is where game comes in for me and for most guys, and why it's worth learning.

uglyandIknowit1234 · 2022-03-01T17:56:12+00:00

I agree with this because most of the advice on game feels like manipulating tactics to me. You need to pay attention to someones feelings and decision and respect them. However, I can understand how difficult it is when people don’t want you when you are very attracted to them. I am still figuring out how to get over it myself

After trying this stuff for 4 months I concluded that nothing works unless the woman is already attracted to you from the start and everything here is basically bullshit

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