How to ask out a waitress? [recovered]

_stellarwombat_ · 2021-11-11T23:01:06+00:00

Use the old "can you tell me how to ask this girl out" question? Then show her your phone with the camera pointed where it will show her reflection. Yeah, that one is free.

lordsudbury · 2021-11-12T03:52:13+00:00

I am the waiter that often gets hit on. I'm a guy but I still find it refreshing. the girls at my work RARELY get hit on by guys, other than the stock creepy/rich guys.

you can just leave your number on a reciept to show youre available and interested. or just keeping going, hang out, the conversations will get more personal, your intent of interest will become more available, perhaps mutual, it will either become organic or you'll have realized it wasn't meant to be.

PlamEv · 2021-11-12T05:11:29+00:00

As an actual human woman, I didn't like any of the responses you got. I especially disliked the most upvoted one with the camera lol. Though I guess she's in college... she might be into it. There is no good way to ask a woman out if she doesn't like you. If she does like you, there's no need for anything too elaborate. Maybe just follow the natural flow of conversation and suggest meeting outside of work in response to something she said, or just be honest and say you enjoy talking to her/you think she's beautiful and see how she responds. Everyone likes being told they are beautiful.

Leaving your number on a receipt is one of the most common ways dudes tried to get with me when I was a server or bartender. It always confused me, because a lot of times I would be in a hurry and wouldn't notice it until the end of the night, when I had a million receipts and a few random phone numbers on them. I always thought it was weird people thought I would call a random number from a receipt.

There have been times when I was attracted to a customer and wished he would ask me out. More often than not, the guys who did ask me out, were not the ones I liked.

Generally. I don't think it's a bad thing to ask a server or any girl out as long as it's respectful and you leave her alone if she says no. The only annoying part for me, is if dudes don't take no for an answer and keep trying to change my mind.

A quick "I think you're beautiful/I really enjoy talking to you and I'd love to take you out/continue this over coffee/ grab a drink etc." Simple and to the point is my favorite way of being asked out.

DROP_TABLE_Users_lol · 2021-11-12T00:38:55+00:00

I don’t ask out people that are paid to be nice to me. They’re working it’s literally their job to be nice to you and keep you coming back

Theory_Agile · 2021-11-12T00:32:46+00:00

Id pass on that unless she's making it completely obvious she's into you. Being nice and attending to you is her job, not to mention she works on tips.

BabyWarLord · 2021-11-11T23:44:22+00:00

I've been in the same situation, at the end of my meal I said I really enjoyed and read out loud her name tag just a way to introduce myself in return. She politely said it was very nice to meet. I then broke out 2, $10 Bill's. One for the tip and the other bill for the pickup I thought of on the spot. I wrote on a napkin, "So nice to meet you, Ashlyn. Here's $10 as a tip and consider the other $10 as a downpayment for our first date." Followed by my number and name of course.

I left and got a text from her about 30 minutes later saying it was the sweetest thing and she has never gotten that before. IMO, it was smooth, quiet and sneaky for her since she was working, no one else had a clue. Went on several dates after that!

Maybe give that a shot!

lambocinnialfredo · 2021-11-12T01:00:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

000001001 · 2021-11-12T07:37:42+00:00

I litterally just went through this a few nights ago with a girl I don't know.

For the last several months I've wanted to get to know her more then just small talk when I'm at her work buying something.

Everytime I see her shes always smiling and blushing but I sense that shes just as shy as me to make a move.

I was there the other night and after I left I told myself I'm never going to know if I don't try. So. Fuck it, what do I got to lose? Worst case she rejects me and I dont have to shop at that establishment / see her again if I don't want to. Also worst case I don't tell her, and I feel/live with the same regret that I've had wanting to get to know her but being to much of a pussy.

I wrote my name and number down on a piece of paper and folded it up. Got in my car and drove back there, walked in, went up to the counter and told her... I know this is really random and probably kind of awkward... but I'd love the chance to get to know you. I was hoping maybe we could hang out sometime or get to know eachother. I wrote my number down in case you do...

...I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time but I'm really shy....

At which point my anxiety was through the roof. I could feel my hands sweating and my words trembling as I spoke. She could probably tell I was a nervous wreck.

I walked out... and BOOM i felt IMMEDIATELY better. It was like a weight lifted off my chest. She knows that I'm interested and the ball is in her court now. If she wants to get to know me she will get ahold of me.

A couple days pass and nothing...

Tonight she texted me and said she's interested and wants to hang out. 😊

The 1-2 minutes of being uncomfortable sure beats the hell out of not knowing and wishing you took the chance but didn't because you were afraid. Living with regret is the worst feeling. We literally do it to ourselfs out of fear of failure. You fail 100% of the time you don't try.

YoDaddy1069 · 2021-11-12T07:28:32+00:00

I’m very against verbally asking out the waitress. She’s nice to you just so she can be paid in tips, so if she’s giving you googly eyes or being flirtatious, even if it seems genuine, unfortunately because of the circumstance, you have to take it with a grain of salt. If a waitress who is cute is like that with me, I leave a big tip and then leave my # on the receipt. Sometimes they text me, sometimes they don’t. But I’d rather not get the text back than but a waitress in an impossibly awkward circumstance where she can’t be mean to me for the sake of her job.

Zslap · 2021-11-12T13:43:14+00:00

Use the technique portrayed in office space

smol_peas · 2021-11-11T23:01:11+00:00

Not while she’s working

paddywacknack · 2021-11-12T03:26:35+00:00

You dont.

You invite her to a party you are hosting.

Or a fun event with friends.

bigbootynopussy · 2021-11-12T00:20:44+00:00

Just write your number on receipt. If she’s down, shell call

Known_Guarantee4493 · 2021-11-12T04:16:22+00:00

Just be authentic and next time you chat with her, when you’re about to leave, casually yet confidently say (in your own words) “hey, I really enjoy talking to you, give me your number, [pull out phone and open phone app to enter number] let’s grab a drink soon and we can talk more when you’re not busy working.” Probably good to give a warm smile here if you’re feeling it. You can hand her the phone or just enter her # yourself. The worst case scenario is she’ll just gently say something like, “oh no thanks.” Or “no, that’s ok.” And boom, you’re still alive and totally fine and you can just be like, “ok no worries, nice chatting with today, see you around.” BUT, sounds like she’s interested and also likes chatting with you, so there’s a good chance she’ll give you her number. Don’t play games, text her soon and set a simple date to go grab a drink. Godspeed sir.

veggainz · 2021-11-12T07:31:49+00:00

Why is everyone making this so difficult? Just ask if she wants to grab coffee sometime. If she says yes, great, if not who cares

chkmcnugge6 · 2021-11-12T09:50:40+00:00

You could try and learn how to speak simple stuff in her language. She's a foreigner and not american by birth right? In that case i think she would appreciate you trying to learn her language even more, imo itll be sweet.

Eg if shes chinese you could learn how to say "can i ask you out" in chinese. Or you could ask her as smoothly as you could during conversation.

mrbrown1980 · 2021-11-12T11:27:29+00:00

Ask her name, and give her your name and number. That way she can text you if she wants to, and if she doesn’t text then you have your answer.

moopbooplooptroop · 2021-11-12T17:06:41+00:00

I suppose the best way to ask anyone out is NOT AT THEIR JOB. they're working for tips. Of course they're nice.

P00_buttz69 · 2021-11-12T18:09:03+00:00

I get that it’s worth taking some chances, just be careful.

Waitresses are trying to get tips. It’s their job.

willgo-waggins · 2021-11-12T02:38:05+00:00

The few times in my life that a waitress has actually been interested - beyond earning a better tip - she had specifically and directly left her name and number on the receipt.

If that didn’t/doesn’t do that, don’t bother her. She isn’t actually interested.

cinamontastingroshi · 2021-11-12T04:33:44+00:00

Mention your a philanthropist

Beautifulgorgeousman · 2021-11-12T04:08:21+00:00

I highly recommend not asking any waitress out. Even if she's flirting and being very nice to you. Most likely she's acting this way for a good tip.

It's literally part of her job to be nice to you.

Don't assume she's attracted to you.

Spacemage · 2021-11-12T04:54:22+00:00

Probably won't be the most popular response, but this is what I would do, personally.

Write your phone number on a piece of paper. Then write "that's my number, feel free to text me, but if not I completely understand.

(write my name)

PS I won't be any more awkward than I already am."

She'll either text you or she won't. If she doesn't, you absolutely have to not be any different than you normally are. Don't mention it, nothing even remotely in the realm of eluding to it, etc. For all intensive purposes, it never happened.

I'm suggesting this because I've tried before and had it not work - got no text. Worse, there were times (one specifically) that I didn't try, and I got the same result - got no text. The only difference was shooting the shot.

I have also had success doing this. It was a bit of a different situation, but I gave a TA my number in the last day of class. She didn't text me, but we ran into each other a semester later and she told me she COULDN'T text me because it would've violated the school policy. She then gave me her number. It didn't work out between us, but it did ultimately work - I got texts.

Purple_Amphibian1969 · 2021-11-12T07:29:06+00:00

She’s paid to have good customer service. Unless she’s actually told you that she likes you then i wouldn’t ask.

Chorizoneggz · 2021-11-12T07:16:53+00:00

Just say " Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you before. We should have a drink after you get off work or on your day off."

I have done this before and got head twice from two different women at work. Go for it!

CompendiumDigital · 2021-11-12T04:40:05+00:00

dont bother people at work.

A_solo_tripper · 2021-11-12T01:11:15+00:00

I'd say attend the place with some friends and invite her to join you guys, your treat. Or, you could just ask her out like every other patron does, there are numerous ways if she digs you.

Women tend to get more comfortable with you the more they are around you. You can bring a girl up there with you.

WhiteBoyFlipz · 2021-11-12T04:47:41+00:00

Put your number on the receipt. Or a napkin

poppetje44 · 2021-11-12T00:57:22+00:00

I think chances of you getting rejected are very high if she is still on her shift. I'd wait for her outside at the time her shifts ends. Approach her very politely tell her that I waited for her shift to end that you think she is really pretty or whatever reason I liked her. And then ask her if she's okay to go for a date.

Cosmic_noise_2991 · 2021-11-12T01:10:06+00:00

These days the mask covers half their face. It's a gamble! You never know what's under that mask! I gotta know how her entire face looks before taking the plunge

TheGnosionaut · 2021-11-12T08:17:06+00:00

She's a waitress, your social value is quite likely inherently higher than hers... just man up son, be sweet, smile, and ask her out "you're cute, wanna hangout sometime?"... she's very very likely to say yes. But if she doesn't, bro, you missed a date with a waitress. No matter how cute she is, you should bear this in mind. You need to be selective.

High level game with negs, frame control and DHVs is only for girls that are solid 9s or 10s.

daring_innovator · 2021-11-12T02:33:11+00:00

It’s generally inappropriate and uncomfortable for them but it could still be done. Just know it’s messed up to do this, but here we go. It’s just gonna require extra work but still doable. (Gonna be paraphrasing some tips from a fellow Redditor here.)

First, you gotta be a regular there & get to know all the staff beforehand to create familiarity because only then she’ll begin to feel more comfortable towards you because you’re not just focused on her specifically.

Anyway, go a few more times and gradually open her up every time you go. When she asks you questions give her open ended answers, be warm, smile, be chill, share a story, humor her, charm her, flirt with her slowly get to know her as a person and if you guys find a common interest, bingo, that could be something you guys can connect on right away. Oh, and tip her well every time you go. Leave that good impression, dress nice, smell good, be chill and carefree. 😉

However if she shows signs of discomfort or disinterest just slow it down man and keep it light because she’s either reached her “boundary” or just flat out not interested. The next time you go start the whole process all over again. If she gives you signals and you guys find a common interest, find an event related to that interest, ask her out move it forward & exchange numbers/ Snapchats.

But If she continues to show signs of discomfort or disinterest then leave her be, respect that and move on. It’s all good! Don’t be so fixed on this one girl bro! Theres an abundance of women out there it’s actually mind blowing! Like 4 billion women

(Because the goal here is to BE A DECENT GUY & GET TO KNOW HER AS A PERSON not an object.)

At the of the day there’s so many girls out there, there’s nothing to lose. 😎

dobbs1997 · 2021-11-12T05:22:44+00:00

i know a lot of people here are saying she’s being paid to be nice to you and bla bla bla but don’t listen to them, if you wanna shoot your shot then you go ahead and do it, fuck it what do you have to lose ? if you have business cards you can give her yours, if not just write your number on a piece of paper and give it to her, chat with her a little, introduce yourself properly and then suggest you two get together for a coffee or whatever you wanna do, then give her your number and tell her to call/text you.

moonman881 · 2021-11-12T06:02:10+00:00

Sounds like that episode of Seinfeld lol. But just straight up ask her in a friendly way and don’t get your feelings hurt if she says otherwise

kurapikachu020 · 2021-11-12T06:22:03+00:00

Whatever you do, do not do like Big Ed from 90 days fiancé. Good luck !

Dbest9 · 2021-11-12T06:53:29+00:00

Always assume she likes you. I'd hold a little conversation with her and I'd go you know you're really nice I'd like to see if you're really this nice or your just brilliant at your job (in a jokey lighthearted manner) let's go do blah blah on your free day.

SuperKamiDaniel · 2021-11-12T07:32:28+00:00

Find coming ground. This girl is into music the one I’m talking to about is posted below. So. I may be one of the lucky ones? And I say this because out of a whim I walked into a bar in august. That’s one of of the worst months for me. I sat down. Ordered my drink. It’s not a dive bar but more hipster than anything else. So the bartenders get to choose their music. Feel good inc by Gorillaz came on. So I complimented her on her music choice. But she said she doesn’t listen to them. But is into them. She Also said she’s heard great things about the band. But doesn’t know where to start. And she’d be open to get into them. So I said give me receipt paper I’m going to make you a Gorillaz playlist. Wrote down the songs, that in my head are bangers. Never done this btw.So I wrote my full name and number on a receipt. Wasn’t expecting anything from that. But the next day, she wrote me back. Saying which two songs out of the 19 I wrote down she didn’t like. We clicked with music because she told me what genre she liked and didn’t like. Ever since then we text often, we’ve cooked for each other, held hands, cuddled together, spooned, and stayed over at each other’s places. But honestly try to find common ground and stay on those topics.

Hope it works for you. More power to you! 🤘🏽💪🏽

burncushlikewood · 2021-11-12T08:18:28+00:00

Bro the waitress is kind of tough, it's hard to pick up women while at work and situations like this, you could just walk up to her when leaving and ask for her number, but this is very the term I would use is "flimsy" meaning not much comfort building. But one woman is one woman, you could also go to a busy street downtown and do some day game, or you could meet up with boys grab a wingman and head to the club/bar which is where single women go to meet guys. I love night game because it's favorable for men and puts you in control, not like online dating or going to a restaurant and hoping some woman working there will give you the time of day when she's being payed to be nice just saying. I have as Kendrick Lamar and dr.dre would say "the recipe" for night game and know a lot about how to pick up women in the club. Especially the dancefloor!

ConferenceSea4924 · 2021-11-12T08:40:45+00:00

You don’t. Tip her and wish her well.

CenaSmackDown · 2021-11-12T09:52:03+00:00

I don't know but according to some other woman on here if you don't follow her home there's a good chance you'll get laid, despite that most men aren't doing that anyway and they are stuck with porn.

guccisushi84 · 2021-11-12T13:13:53+00:00

Bro just go up to her, tell her your name and introduce yourself and say “I just wanted to introduce myself. What’s your name again?” Then when she says it just ask her for her number. Zero bullshit straight up honest and confident move.

Dwaynedibley24601 · 2021-11-12T14:00:57+00:00

I do not generally recommend hitting on women at their place of work... but she seems interested... slip her a note... and if she texts proceed... if she does not LET IT GO. Lightning can strike.

Loydiso · 2021-11-12T14:18:58+00:00

Following

OcularAMVs · 2021-11-12T14:33:34+00:00

I asked out a couple waitresses recently and I find that the best approach for me is to be direct. I saw one waitress about 3-4 times and had interactions with her. The night I was about to leave the hotel, I went up to her and said “hi! Sorry, I never caught your name.” And I said “I think you’re beautiful and I’ve enjoyed the conversations we’ve had and I’d love to get to know you better!” You can feel their body language from there to know where it’s going. And I would give the ask of “would it be possible to get your number by a chance?”

I was lucky to get both waitresses’ numbers. These were 2 different cities and restaurants.

The main thing is to smile and be open and warm. Most of this is body language and chances are, she’ll at least appreciate the gesture. I understand what some of the others are saying where they’re paid to be nice, but at the same time, if you like someone, you like them. I recommend just being friendly and open and if they decline, just continue to smile and say that you totally understand and you appreciate them and wish them good night! It’s eliminates the awkwardness and keeps things light.

Good luck :)

McSqueezeMeMuhFucca · 2021-11-12T14:41:48+00:00

Stop fucking hitting on women at work

BestWesterChester · 2021-11-12T16:19:38+00:00

Waitresses get hit on constantly.

bhavishya_12 · 2021-11-12T16:23:21+00:00

I think coffee here isn't that good let's go to the _______(any restraunt name) and taste it over there

RambaRedd · 2021-11-12T16:46:56+00:00

No advice here, but I'm curious to read the replies. I often run in to situations where I want to ask a woman out but shes in the middle of work. Its kind of a hassle to engage someone when their busy so I usually just don't do it. I'd also like to get some tips from this thread

phx_hypebeast · 2021-11-12T16:47:13+00:00

Yeah bro if you guys already had a convo it should be easy, next time you see her be sure to ask for her name since you still don’t know it lmao “hey I never got your name btw” after that I would personally ask her for her Instagram or phone number (the reason I ask for a social media is because some girls may not feel comfortable giving away their number that easy, so Instagram or whatever other platform should be okay) after that exchange ask her what days she’s free. Once she tells you just ask her “we should go _____ sometimes if you’re up for it (:”

dibbsa · 2021-11-12T18:41:44+00:00

Horrible idea. Her job is to be nice to you

misscoochi · 2021-11-12T20:11:39+00:00

leave your number on a napkin with a tip. if she calls you than you didn’t make her uncomfortable by flirting with her at work

NattyGains4Life · 2021-11-13T19:43:35+00:00

I had an experience with a waitress a few years ago, and while it didn’t suck it also wasn’t overly positive

Short story I went in once a week, made friendly small talk, got a little acquainted with her

Next week I said “hey you ever had “X desert” at “Y coffee shop”

“No I havent”

“Wanna go?”

“No, I’m busy all week, also my bf wouldn’t like it”

“Oh yeah that’d be bad, ok thanks”

While it wasn’t awful, she immediately made it clear it was not happening

Think of this, they’re working there, it’s their job to smile, make you feel nice and take your food order

They attend hundreds of clients in a day, and if they’re young and cute, chances are they’re already asked out a couple (or MULTIPLE, depending on the scale of the place they work in/how cute they are), also it’s their job, they may be underpaid or overworked and might not wanna risk their job dating around

Im not telling you NOT to do it, because if she’s sexually available and you seem like a good prospect to her, it should happen, just asking you to be considerate and approach the situation reasonably

So in the end, really test the waters, is she just putting up a smile while attending you? Or is she genuinely nicer and more interested in you? Try to read her body language, get a good idea before you shoot your shot

And if you do, be as non intrusive as possible, while still being direct, and if you’re rejected take it nicely and be polite about it, also you can still come back to the restaurant and maybe even be attended by her again,

if you do come back, still be nice, don’t be awkward but make it clear you’re not there for her only, you genuinely like the restaurant

The last thing you want her to think is that you only went there for her or make her feel stalked or some bs

Good luck soldier

EU-Howdie · 2021-11-14T19:02:47+00:00

I 'm an Asian women connaiseur. Haha. Lived 5 years in Philippines, live with Philipina and we have Asian family and friends in several West European countries, in Philippines and Indonesia. They come from Philippines, Thailand, Indonesia, China, Vietnam.

Ofcourse every country is different and certainly every woman and human is different. So I will tell you what is common in how to approach and in contact with Asian women. I speak from realy hundreds of pesonal experiences! I will not number my tips from most important to less.

Very favorit subject to talk about is .. her family. Ask about mother and father, siblings, cousins, the children in the family, the jobs. Bussiness (mostly small) or farmer or fisher or just surviving day by day by what ever comes. Maid, at the market, washing clothes, job in mall, something in beauty, massage or whitening ( yes, products and treatments to become "whiter"). Too, many families have familymembers working abroad and sending money at home. When they have children, these children stay in the family, live with aunties siblings and grandmother and father. Mother visit once a year or once in 2 or 3 years the family, mostly Christmas time and (Chinese) New Year. So, talk about YOUR family, siblings, (grand) parents. They are really interested! And pictures !! Ask for foto ( like on their smartphone) And show your family. Know that special the older people get a lot of respect and are loved. Is your grandmother 87. They will love it and like to see a picture.

Tell all this (about YOUR family) too to her. And in that story you tell her too if you have a child, if you are single, ready for real commitment (family) and your schools and job (can you support a family).

Be always kind and friendly and do not hurt their feelings and - very important - their "face", their respect. Do never become loud, angry or agressive !!! Not to her, not to others like in a bar or mall.

They love to eat. Eat with them, simple food, let them choose, food is much more important in Asia.

No touchie touchie and (french?) kissing in public. Not done in Asia. In the bedroom ... oh lala

Tip. give tip, give her tip, give a tip when you are out with her. But do not "over" tip. Then they smile and say thank you but think, he is a fool. Not good. Later he will give away our family-money to impress people, waitresses, taxidrivers.

This tips will help you, they even work in 2 directions. First she will be impressed and like you. But even when she is married and has 3 children and is not interested in you, when she knows you are single and looking for a serious relation and you are a good man ( in Asian thinking good) she will love to bring you in contact with other Asian women, maybe in your state or in their Asian home country. One of the great hobbies from Asian women is mediating, they love to couple people, bring them together. Sister, friend, nabour, collegue. How do people say in English .... , I have been there, and now 20 years happy together with my Asian woman, mediated by a female friend of both of us. Good luck !!

Title	How to ask out a waitress? [recovered]
Author	Western-Carpenter264 [recovered]
Upvotes	306
Comments	154
Date	November 11, 2021 10:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qrxdex/how_to_ask_out_a_waitress/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-ask-out-a-waitress.1272487 https://theredarchive.com/post/1272487

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