[22M] Just graduated university a kissless virgin. Absolutely devastated and have 0 hope. What now?

TheBurningStag13 · 2021-06-25T20:44:19+00:00

You’re..shooting down each giver of advice to further bury yourself under the weight of your self pity..

Look mate, some of the people here are generally trying to give you some helpful advice..however the cliched-to-hell truth of it is that you have to decide if you’re going to take heed of said advice.

Sorry that things have been hard for you man, but you must adopt a different frame of thinking to get past this.

porn-chicken · 2021-06-25T19:43:58+00:00

Yes, there is hope. You are young and in a great stage of life. Just graduating puts you in a position ahead of lots of people. Now it's up to you to create a life you want to live.

But it will be immensely difficult. Not because the task is difficult, but because you must do something outside of your comfort zone. Your little bubble of safety needs to be popped and you need to take the initiative.

Become more social, more engaging, more expressive, and less hesitant to fail. Get a sense of style, eat well, and do some exercise. Take every opportunity to meet people.

Actually go celebrate your graduation - not because you'll meet the love of your life or anything - but because it is flipping the script you've lived by on it's head. No more sheltering yourself. No more wallowing in self-pity.

Ohhhwordddd · 2021-06-25T23:51:58+00:00

The way your responding to people says a lot about you.

JCrom8001 · 2021-06-25T19:35:40+00:00

Firstly stop referring to yourself as a “kissless Virgin” nobody gives a shit so neither should you.

Looks are subjective, and even if you do look like shit, a decent, confident and friendly personality masks about 60% of it, so get working on that.

Have a shower, find a hairstyle, get some unique smells. That’ll mask another 20%. Maybe do some workout that’ll mask at least another 10%.

You’ve now gone from a 0 out of 10 to a 9 out of 10 without much effort.

Don’t compare yourself to others. The past doesn’t matter, the future does.

I’ve got a mate who looks like Peter Griffin (with the personality of Cartman) and a dick smaller than my little toe. He’s fucked the hottest women of all of us. He doesn’t give a shit.

Join a club of something you’re interested in, meet people through that. End up going out somewhere in a group. Chat with randoms then.

Stop being afraid of rejection. You’ll get 100 no’s and 1 yes. Forget the no’s and only count the Yes. That’s what everybody else does.

jakerob5 · 2021-06-26T05:30:46+00:00

Fuck it, I'll kiss you.

-Kast- · 2021-06-25T22:07:17+00:00

Soooo... best advice, given your state, would be to post a photo of yourself. Do it under another throwaway name if you must. Get feedback on your appearance, because that COULD be the problem.

That said, your attitude and demeanor here lends me to believe that you're relatively in a victimized state of mind, which never helps in any relationship capacity. Even if you were ugly, that's the minor issue here. Your bigger issue is your state of mind.

You clearly have self-identity issues. Sure, you might be a loser right now (as you seem to keep hinting at that). Ok, then fucking fix it. You have to like yourself in order for others to truly like you. Focus on who you want to be instead of focusing on what you don't have.

5am5ara · 2021-06-26T01:13:58+00:00

Mate you’re shooting yourself in the dick. You are still young. The clock it ticking though. You’re opportunities to meet women are only going to be more difficult the longer you wait, wallowing in self pity.

didsomebodysaymyname · 2021-06-26T02:09:08+00:00

You should think about therapy, I get the sense you have a self-esteem problem. You're very down on yourself and assume nothing will work.

I would bet that you haven't actually made that much of an effort to date or meet people, you've already ruled out online.

So you're a social failure, so what? You're can young, you can build a social life.

You don't have to date online, but that's going to make things a lot harder for yourself. And I'm guessing you are going to have to do some other things you don't want to do.

You have to ask the question, do I not want to do the uncomfortable scary things, more than I don't be a "kissless virgin"

double_prong · 2021-06-25T19:30:14+00:00

Why not go out and talk to people? Just get to know them a little with 5-10 minute conversations. Practice those social skills.

P.S. I think the mods don't want me to suggest you get an escort sooner. I'm not sure, they aren't clear sometimes.

2021-06-25T22:05:28+00:00

You’ll need to figure out some kind of self-improvement program that appeals to you. Books, therapy, meditation, religion, working out, improv class, microdosing, whatever. Based on your responses you don’t seem ready for a relationship, but you can get there. Lots of dudes have been in similar situations.

And if it’s such a hang up just see an escort now. Maybe you’ll get over yourself a little. Just don’t make a habit of it.

FranangerForce · 2021-06-25T23:47:14+00:00

if you jack off a lot, stop jacking off

Dutchcat1077 · 2021-06-25T19:37:50+00:00

M8… treat yourself to a prostitute. There is no shame.

Impulsive666 · 2021-06-25T19:51:14+00:00

Lift. Hit the gym. Hard.

Alive-Doughnut2345 · 2021-06-25T21:12:55+00:00

Look just don’t give up and don’t despair. I know that feeling of spiralling and it doesn’t help matters

What helps me is to distract myself with something else like the gym. Do not allow yourself to feel or wallow in self pity. Keep working until you see results, which you will if you are doing the work right.

The simple fact is this type of thing happens at different times for different people. Sometimes it takes a little longer for you to find your person/partner/f***buddy. That’s okay. Also you are still young. You still have time, I would kill to be 25 again.

Congratulations on graduating college!! That’s wonderful news and you should be proud, I hope it can give you the confidence you need to go for what you want in life. All the best

Papa_Musk · 2021-06-26T02:59:10+00:00

what value do you add? why should someone kiss you? why don't you do something to help other people and improve yourself instead of having a pity party

ugly, bald, stupid, fat men get kissed and laid all day every day maybe not with the most beautiful women in the world, try lowering your standards and not thinking of yourself, the world doesn't owe you shit, you have to earn it

JetPillar · 2021-06-25T20:03:35+00:00

Maybe if you didn’t have so much bitterness toward women it would help

SpecialistDevice2018 · 2021-06-26T04:27:14+00:00

This is going off of just you’re the title of this post I’m not going to read the actual party because based off the title i believe it’s going to be a woe is me i do everything right and still don’t get what i want so feel bad for me. Get you head out of your ass try something new. Take suggestion don’t try to people please. Be yourself if you don’t know who you are that’s even better so you can turn yourself into who you want to be.

slumpmode · 2021-06-26T05:20:19+00:00

Stop obsessing it, drink more water, don’t wear graphic t shirts

iccequeen · 2021-06-25T21:34:25+00:00

You need to learn to compensate with something. I don’t know what you look like but if you really are ugly/repulsive/unattractive/weird like you say you are, and by the comments I would also guess miserable, then you can’t just bring nothing to the table and expect companionship.

sometimes people can just bring looks/personality and that’s enough! If that’s not you, idk, devote yourself to making money bro.

JuneBerryBug94 · 2021-06-25T23:44:25+00:00

By reading how you view yourself, to me it seems the best you can do is get off of the internet and stop identifying yourself as a “kissless virgin”. You are a complex human being. Explore your own depth.

PalmersGreek · 2021-06-26T02:48:44+00:00

I lost my virginity at 16 on a holiday in greece (which is the legal age of consent in Europe). I didn’t have sex again until I was in my 20s. I went through the whole of university without hooking up. I was too tall, too skinny, too nerdy.

After graduation I contacted some friends who were older, more stylish and more successful with women. They taught me how to dress, stressed the importance of working out and took me to parties filled with glamorous beautiful women.

It took a while for me to find my groove but my god once I did I never looked back. Between the ages of 25-35 I got together with women who were far above my league. Those girls with whom I never had a chance with at university now seemed ugly in comparison.

In short, take a step towards becoming an adult and the best version of yourself that you can be. You’re educated so use that education. Get a good job that will bring you an income and then invest that money into yourself. Join a gym and use it at least three times a week. Hire a stylist and learn to dress fashionably — it doesn’t have to cost you a fortune. Start going out to cool parties — if there are none near you then travel — travel opens your eyes and your mind to the world.

But also heed my warning — don’t be greedy. Once you find success with women it’s easy to get addicted to going out and having one night stands with beautiful girls. Don’t treat women like objects, they’re people just like you and me, even if sometimes they seem and act like goddesses. Don’t be too quick to get into a relationship, get some experience first and then find someone to partner up with.

Find friends who are like you going out specifically to meet women and are not going to be dicks about it. Drink in moderation, avoid taking drugs, don’t smoke weed — it doesn’t help.

Best of luck my man, I’m envious of you, you’re about to live the best days of your life.

SpookyKG · 2021-06-26T03:09:52+00:00

Lost virginity ~21, have had like 25 partners and ending up with the best. Suck it up.

_BlueBearyMuffin_ · 2021-06-26T09:26:59+00:00

Maybe one of the problems is that you use the term “normies” unironically. Seriously though, reading through your post and comments, it really sounds like you’re 100% creating your own problems. Your attitude is god awful.

NightHawk085 · 2021-06-26T17:32:16+00:00

You just graduated , let’s celebrate that first ! That’s a huge accomplishment in itself . Life is so much more than woman and when you realize trivial things like being with woman our minuscule in the bigger picture you’ll have more success with them. Realize that you’re in very low percentage of men who’ve graduated with a bachelors degree within 4 years. Congrats man

DannMaloneyy · 2021-06-26T09:31:36+00:00

Dude if you're referring to anyone as a 'normie' you've already lost

Anhilator26 · 2021-06-25T21:17:20+00:00

Your graduation ceremony is a perfect opportunity to fix that. Even if you don’t know the girl, walk up and hug her. Everyone will be happy there. She’ll likely have plans for that day too and you could probably jump onto them if you make a good impression.

Then it’s just about keeping in contact. Even if nothing happenes between you two on the day, she now associates you with one of the best days of her life. That’s your in. Use it.

Dumbengineerr · 2021-06-26T02:46:36+00:00

Post a pic Oran r/roastme. Looks like that’s what you want everyone here to do.

AutistNerd · 2021-06-26T03:05:51+00:00

Why you care about that too much ? In Asia, nobody gives a F about being a virgin. Just have fun and love yourself. Stop caring too much about the society standard or social pressure that you have to lose your virginity.

nickdojo · 2021-06-25T19:37:56+00:00

OwYouHitMeInMyWienew · 2021-06-26T01:14:05+00:00

I had kissed for the first time a few months before I graduated at 22. I did not have sex until I was 24, but I wouldn’t admit that stuff if I were you. I lied to the girl that I lost my virginity to and said that I had had sex before. She didn’t find out that I was lying until over a year after we had first had sex. Girls don’t like virgins.

AdventurousParsnip5 · 2021-06-26T08:28:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Nynyxnyxx · 2021-06-26T04:47:08+00:00

Heres some real advice. Go for a "ugly" girl. Im not being mean but girls with self confidence issues are easy pickings. Usually if she has bad acne shes gonna be self conscious. Get some clothes that fits your body type. (FIT>BRAND) Doesnt matter if the girl cares about your threads if it makes YOU feel good then that will show. DONT be afraid of rejection if it happens smile and say take care! I get rejected 5 times before I get a yes. and the single yes makes all the no's in the world not matter.

jaydanteX · 2021-06-26T15:34:52+00:00

You are perhaps gay

josboot11 · 2021-06-26T02:28:51+00:00

do mewing/chewing and bonesmashing bro!!! atleast you can have a good shape on yo face with this

_LilDuck · 2021-06-25T22:12:08+00:00

First things first, get yourself out of this utterly self-deprecative state. It's generally undesirable in the dating market, so you probably won't get far with it. I'd recommend getting a job, making friends, or just enjoying life because right now it doesn't sound like you are. Just remember there is always hope till you drop dead. It's just a matter of delivering on it. The ball is purely in your court -- if you want to get a girl, you need to put in the work.

Then, get out of your home. Go to bars, arcades, etc. Have fun.

Fourth, talk to people. You need to take a bit of a quantity approach -- talking to more people will increase your odds of finding a desirable person. Make sure to flirt a little, hopefully you can escalate to a date. If you can get it there, then you're doing really well and hopefully you can seal the bag.

I don't guarantee results (esp since I haven't personally tried this) and it'd be nice if others could explain it a bit better but that should be the gist.

Own-Salad1974 · 2021-06-26T00:14:55+00:00

Yes there is hope, however you need to be able to picture yourself, in your mind being good at dating women, before it happens in real life.

WokeKemosabe · 2021-06-26T03:47:39+00:00

***22 just graduated University with nothing to stop you from fulfilling your dreams, reaching your goals and a bright future in front of you. Everything else will come. For now, at this time, in this moment, celebrate your successes. You have achieved more than many already. Continue to chase whatever it is you’re passionate about. Sex is cool and all, but so is being 22, done with school and realizing the power you have to shape and build the future you desire. Best.

Mmm91for · 2021-06-26T04:02:40+00:00

Bro I’ll tell you what changed my life. Semen retention. Practice this and watch your life and everything surrounding you change.

Search deeper into semen retention and female attraction. It’s real.

Blueknight1533 · 2021-06-26T04:21:43+00:00

Jesus, is this a workout question or a getting laid question?! 1) working out is NOT an end-all-be-all. Sorry to all you necked jocks who are offended. 2) my number is WELL above double my age. It didn't happen by lifting weights, or happened by attitude. When I stopped caring is when I started scoring. Have confidence, be social, and don't care about picking someone up. I've had days because girls talk, so others wanted to try me out. I've been picked up in bars, many times. The point is, I want trying to find anyone. The minute I was, the well dried up because my attitude had changed.

Kryptongame · 2021-06-26T04:29:06+00:00

Have you hit the gym/diet? What do you look like send pics of you want

eatyourchildren101 · 2021-06-26T05:01:04+00:00

Um, grad school?

oscarony · 2021-06-26T05:49:56+00:00

Google Corey wayne

Yokowi · 2021-06-26T06:21:44+00:00

What a freakin pity party 🙄🙄

Vilando98 · 2021-06-26T07:08:17+00:00

Yeah dude, you gotta put yourself out there. Scary as shit, sure, but it's in your head. Not gonna die from it, only grow from it

Take risks, even if it's awkward at first, but it'll get easier

Also workout, find some good structure, some healthy food and all, it will help with self confidence

r_m_castro · 2021-06-26T07:35:43+00:00

Find some hookers to enjoy some of the sexual life and a psychologist to help you with social skills.

Vilando98 · 2021-06-26T08:31:08+00:00

Dude, I don't care you're different, everyone is, some more than others sure, but still

Everyone can improve the same way, so again, stop thinking "Ho I am too different, can't be with them, hey, why am I alone?"

Everyone is different, but everyone improve the same way:

Work out and eat healthy

Get a job

Get some hobbies, you'll find people liking the same Take risks even if you think it'll hurt your ego or something, give less à fuck

Read, that will help a lot too in ways you don't think it would

Like.. take two month to fully commit to those two That's a good start

l_drv · 2021-06-26T08:41:24+00:00

When I see your answers to the others comments that are trying to help you and encourage you, it doesn't surprise me that you haven't got laid. The TRUTH is you're an asshole, and until you realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and that your ego is so fragile it needs to be fueled by all these positive comments, you're not going to get laid, or make friends, or have a loving family.

Shadow__Account · 2021-06-26T08:59:04+00:00

This just means if you are willing to put in the work your best years in terms of life enjoyment are ahead of you! You making this topic means you are seriously frustrated which is good, let it fuel your actions to get better socially and with women and there is only up from here on, good luck

BrexFlexx · 2021-06-26T10:23:02+00:00

You might wanna consider going to therapy, getting your shit together and THEN start thinking about women.

luclme · 2021-06-26T11:34:03+00:00

Doesn’t sound like it’s much to do with your appearance but your attitude.

PushOrganic · 2021-06-26T12:04:07+00:00

Go to a happy ending massage. They’ll let you fuck for $100. Just get it over with, hit the gym and try to make 6 figures as fast as possible. You got this

largepaycheckaddict · 2021-06-26T15:16:04+00:00

Hard to tell what your issues are without seeing a picture of you or knowing more.

Are you overweight? How do you dress? How’s your hygiene? Do you live with your parents? There’s so many variables to consider. I get the frustration though I’ve been there.

BlueCollarSinner · 2021-06-26T16:28:47+00:00

Stop buying into this crap of how society wants you to be or act. You graduated and now it's time to move on to get a job, gain experience, and get some wealth yo your name. But you don't just want to hook up with random chicks. Become the best version of yourself and know your worth. Trust me if you had slept with the whole college you would feel miserable too.

MythicDragon36 · 2021-06-26T17:27:55+00:00

Dude, you are ONLY 22. You graduated university? That’s fucking awesome dude. What was your field of study first of all?

Second of all, just because you’re a virgin and haven’t been kissed doesn’t mean you’re a failure at all dude. I was the same. I didn’t have my first kiss and relationship until I was your age. And even so that’s because I put myself out there and it just so happened a friend was interested in me at the time. Now that may not necessarily happen for you but my point is fear I didn’t stay until bed ruminating on why I didn’t have a girlfriend.

Question: Do you have a job? What are your current hobbies?

If it’s friends you want to make, now is a great time to reach out on social media. There are so many social groups you can find. Heck meetup.com is perfect for meeting new people and establishing a new group of friends (not for dating but meeting up with new people).

Why do you consider online dating garbage? I can list several friends of mine who’ve had great success with it. Understand that not all online dating apps are the same. Example: Tinder is typically used for hookups and one-night stands whereas Hinge and Bumble are for those seeking long term relationships.

Just because your friends have had those experiences already doesn’t make you in anyway less of a person to them. You need to recognise the value in yourself. The fact that you’re a graduate is awesome. Celebrate it because you earned it. Even if you don’t feel like it.

You have to start believing in yourself. I would start by writing a list out on who and or what you’re thankful for. You may surprise yourself by having more you’re thankful for than you realise.

You think you are unworthy and ugly? Let me point you Turin Pitt, an Aussie lady whose face was burned horribly in a bushfire a few years ago: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turia_Pitt

That woman still lives and has a loving husband and had kids with him in spite of the accident.

Point is, you think you’re ugly? There are people out there who literally have it WORSE.

Your whole life is ahead of you dude. Start taking action instead of feeling sorry for yourself and what you don’t have.

ZenithEnigma · 2021-06-30T11:56:33+00:00

The way you are talking on this thread and about yourself shows why you can't get a single woman. Women do not like this shit you are doing...

Snoo-65410 · 2021-08-31T13:33:33+00:00

Title	[22M] Just graduated university a kissless virgin. Absolutely devastated and have 0 hope. What now?
Author	AdventurousParsnip5
Upvotes	126
Comments	211
Date	June 25, 2021 7:25 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o7umgh/22m_just_graduated_university_a_kissless_virgin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/22m-just-graduated-university-a-kissless-virgin.1281812 https://theredarchive.com/post/1281812

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