(FR)15 rejections in a row

AndreiAndTheOakTree · 2011-06-12T07:45:03+00:00

I read the title of this FR and thought, "Wow, that's incredible!"

Seriously, making approach after approach, despite all the rejections? That's some Ancient Greek warrior shit.

nooneinparticular · 2011-06-12T08:57:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

nwsreddit · 2011-06-12T12:10:15+00:00

I bet this is actually common. Some guy who suddenly decides one day "I'm gonna make a change" and then he gets rejected and he says "I tried!"

Imagine an obese person writing "I went to the gym today, worked out for 1 hour and I'm still fat!!!!" What would you say to them? I'd say "Did you really expect your entire situation to change from a single days worth of effort?"

You need to be consistent. Don't be the guy who goes to the gym once and gives up. You need to put consistent effort over time if you hope to improve.

thesorrow312 · 2011-06-12T07:52:21+00:00

The valentines day comment was rude. Learn between that and a neg. You don't tell girls that the clothing they are wearing are out of season. That is telling her she has shit fashion sense.

La_Poire · 2011-06-12T05:40:44+00:00

Have you seen "The Pickup Artist" from VH1? Your night sounds like it went like all the contestants' for the first 3 episodes. Seriously. That shit happens. It doesn't mean you're unattractive or undesirable, just that it was a bad night for you. You should look up those episodes, because even the hot guys, the ones who later blossomed into stripper-seducing butterflies, got rejected 100% of the time at first. And on television. Don't let it stop you.

dope_monkey · 2011-06-12T07:56:42+00:00

Go up and just asking, "are you rolling?" is not such a great idea in my opinion. When I go to raves and roll and someone asks me that I just get kinda sketched out and out of element for a second. You most likely caught them off guard. If you were using alcohol, I think a bar would be a better place, where everyone (albeit a few) will be feeling the same as you after a couple frothy beverages. Best of luck. :)

Zhai · 2011-06-12T08:57:19+00:00

You do realize, that by doing 15 failed approaches you made 15 more steps than majority of people who read about seduction? Personally my friend, I consider you a hero.

IntelligentYinzer · 2011-06-12T05:16:11+00:00

Quick! This man needs confidence stat!

netwiz101 · 2011-06-12T15:19:11+00:00

Shared love of drugs is not a good opener. To be honest with you, I didn't understand what it meant until I read the comments.

wristcontrol · 2011-06-12T08:41:15+00:00

"Why do we fall, sir?"

-Alfred

danxmason · 2011-06-12T14:13:13+00:00

Low value openers.

FucksWithHiveMind · 2011-06-12T14:44:10+00:00

Try and stop with negging. It's not really a necessary thing to do but if you get it wrong it will backfire. If you ever feel like negging again do it sarcastically, with a smile and half way into conversation. Girls spend a long time getting ready and they want to look their best. It's one thing you should complement them on, not neg them.

Also, in my personal experience best negs are made up negs. You can tease her but at the end of the day she does not give a fuck because it's simply not true. Like... Oh, so you are an animal researcher? Are you the person who clubs the seals or tests drugs on dolphins? You dolphin killer! (Make a funny/angry face). Turn it into a running inside joke for bonus points. Don't just approach a girl with: "Hi, your face looks like a pizza!"

Respect for 15 approaches though! I would have called it a day after 5. Keep it up and soon you will stop giving a fuck about rejections completely.

bangthemermaid · 2011-06-12T09:18:09+00:00

As virtually everyone said: that happens. It might have been you, it might have been bad luck.

practically, it might also mean that you need to work on pre-approach game (social proof, talking to everybody, not 'scanning' the room from the bar), having loads of fun.

If all the girls immediately told you that they have boyfriends you may have come across as telegraphing too much interest beforehand which very quickly turns to creepy.

The_Cake_Is_A_Lie · 2011-06-12T11:47:09+00:00

Thanks for posting this man. It's necessary to know that no matter how well you play the game, that it doesn't always work.

KrauserPUA on youtube posts some of his fails too.

Jrix · 2011-06-12T10:42:55+00:00

What the fuck is rolling?

Aladdinlovesyou · 2011-06-12T10:41:44+00:00

You hit on 15 girls in a row who were dating a guy, girl, weren't attracted to your specific avatar type or girls who just were never going to hook up with a guy.

You are the man for trying. That's more approaches then I made in my first month of game

goe42 · 2011-06-12T15:24:08+00:00

Honestly, when I approach women, I just smile from a distance. If they smile back and give a welcoming signal, walk up and have a conversation. Don't go up to girls with corny lines like that. Just be natural.

the_gubernaculum · 2011-06-12T14:58:23+00:00

outcome is irrelevent.

im just so impressed by your determination. 15. wow. That is truly amazing.

Seriously. outcome is irrelevent. Just keep doing what you're doing and practicing.

chumpta · 2011-06-12T05:26:34+00:00

I mean, i tried having a good time,but i just got shut down every time. The times i didnt,id eject too quick. Today was just a fucking fail, and i got nothing out of it besides the fact i blow

squigs · 2011-06-12T11:51:09+00:00

Failures are at least as useful as successes, probably more so.

So, sorry it sucked but thanks for sharing.

djadvance22 · 2011-06-12T16:04:30+00:00

Everyone goes through it, and in fact, that's a great first time. Confidence is something you will strengthen with time, but even advanced social ninjas would get temporarily shaken by fifteen shutouts.

You ask what you did wrong, and I have to assume it's your delivery, body language, and possibly appearance, because you provide few specifics. If you go out next time looking well-groomed/wearing decent clothes, holding your chest out/shoulders back/head high, smiling, and using slow, powerful movements, and using a slow, deep tone with plenty of pauses and laughter, you'll have a different experience, almost guaranteed.

michaelwise · 2011-06-12T17:16:57+00:00

An old tool in the arsenal, yet effective.

When given the "I have a boyfriend" line shoot back confidently with a "I have a turtle", she's taken aback with a "What??" you say "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter."

Stay cool, calm, collected and remember to make eye contact!

Cheers!

dkarter · 2011-06-12T06:35:34+00:00

Flux Pavilion in Chicago?

ymrhawk · 2011-06-12T14:32:49+00:00

15 is pretty damn good. You were never really going to be successful starting out but it gets a lot easier after a few months.

2011-06-12T17:08:31+00:00

you are Leonidas! SPARRTAN!

sockthepuppetry · 2011-06-12T17:52:14+00:00

Honestly, it's a numbers game at every level. Half of the challenge is getting yourself to approach. The other half is figuring out how to deal with getting shot down. Neither is a particularly easy thing. And without the second, the first is unsustainable.

The only thing I can tell you is just do it. Sarge until you're either tired or dejected. Then tell yourself you got some good practice in, go home, and relax for the night. Repeat this process. Eventually, you grow a skin of teflon.

Only, do NOT sarge when you're depressed. Do NOT feel bad about being unable to sarge when you're depressed. Go home, recharge, and know there'll be more opportunities in the future.

porphyry3 · 2011-06-12T08:48:05+00:00

Fuck, all 15 girls had a boyfriend and went to the concert without him?

expectingrain · 2011-06-12T17:57:41+00:00

This might be relevant to your interests

heckz · 2011-06-12T18:03:49+00:00

While facing rejection is a big part of improving, you also need to look at what is working and not working and try to improve things. Like, if you just continue to do the same thing over and over its not going to help you, you need to keep changing things up until you get the successes you desire.

2011-06-12T18:26:31+00:00

First, negs were invented to disarm pretentious and arrogant women. Not typically the type of woman you find at a dubstep concert. Don't neg girls unless they give you attitude. Go in trying to be fun and social. Going up to people and asking them if they are "rolling" isn't really a good opener. It's not fun and it's transparent that you're looking for an excuse to talk to them, and it's quite a boring topic as well.

Next time you go out, make your goal to just be fun and social and make friends. That's what you need to learn first, then you can start building game on top of those social skills.

hippiecrap · 2011-06-12T19:21:51+00:00

that's what i'm talking about, the more rejections you get, the better you'll be. props man.

revolved · 2011-06-12T19:34:08+00:00

The scene for dubstep and electronic shows is quite different from your normal bar/club pick up, so you have to know what your plan is ahead of time. Asking if someone is rolling, as others said, is not a good plan. Most of the game in these venues is entirely social. The club-goers are closer knit, in that the community for dubstep and dj scenes stick together. The girls there are seeking the alpha males of the social groupings, not some random guy. Especially if said guy is showing disrespect to homosexuals through sarcasm, or showing disrespect to drug usage as you were obviously not rolling. This point is key, if you are not rolling, and you are asking if others are, the creepy vibe sets in for the girl as she can tell you are seeking to take advantage of women on drugs. Consider going into a bar and asking women if they are drunk.

All in all, the way I approach dj shows when I lone wolf is to dance/appreciate first. Socialize 2nd. Pick up last.

I have been a dj for 10 years and have performed at clubs and raves.

WhiskeySeven · 2011-06-12T19:47:56+00:00

OR you don't try to pick up at a dubstep concert.

AND when people see/detect the desperate "I'm gonna hit on so many broads" vibe, they immediately shut you down.

AND you're probably not very good at meeting new people [which is fine] but don't start with negging and all this mechanical PUA shit. Just talk to people, be friendly and work your way from there.

Concerts are a terrible place to game, from my experience.

ignanima · 2011-06-12T20:00:30+00:00

sucks to hear about the complete shut-out man, but upvote for good taste in music.

2011-06-12T20:05:34+00:00

How was the dubstep? Seriously, if you're letting you're results with girls dictate whether or not you had a good time you're doing it wrong (in my amateurish opinion).

2011-06-12T20:11:19+00:00

Question:So what could I have said that would of been more exciting? I feel like saying "Are you having a good time?" would be a little plain and boring.

2011-06-12T20:47:46+00:00

It's great you went out and approached 15 sets, that takes balls and you are to be congratulated for working hard. However, sometimes you also have to work smart. You're opener was pretty weak, and extremely close ended. It's neither direct, nor indirect, and lacks interest to the girls. Study up!

Also, bonus tip: If the girls are telling you they have boyfriends that means you are showing too much interest. Whether they actually have a boyfriend is irrelevant.

otakuman · 2011-06-12T22:50:56+00:00

Okay, let's put this as an RPG. Do you quit because you get killed 15 times in a row at level 1?

Of course not. Perhaps your problem is that you weren't dressed "right", perhaps you need more exercise, perhaps you were too blunt, perhaps you picked up girls way above your league (who happened to have boyfriends or other guys much more attractive than you).

So don't despair. Been there, done that.

2011-06-12T22:58:20+00:00

dude, you are awesome, I couldn't make it past 5

You weren't at a concert Skrillex were you?

BallsLikeAnIrishman · 2011-06-12T23:05:48+00:00

You da man! The last time I went out intending to sarge I did not make it to five approaches. You have great big balls dude. But perhaps for future reference ten will do? I know Rooshv has that as his target, below which he will not go if he needs to break a cold streak.

Still though for a solo night out, your first ever, you showed grit.

2011-06-13T03:41:52+00:00

Dude you should feel good about that fact that you just did what plenty of dudes are too scared to do once, Fifteen times.

2011-06-13T04:40:07+00:00

What did i do wrong?

You need to work on inner game if you feel like shit.

Anyway, that's the wrong question. Right question is, "what did I do right?" And that's a question only you can answer. What did you do that resulted in positive responses? Keep trying from those angles.

5f33ju · 2011-06-14T14:22:28+00:00

I think we all agree.

VIRILEMAG · 2011-06-12T13:19:17+00:00

I think the one liners were a bit too much. It seemed you were trying to come across as a funny guy instead of letting nature do it's course. Did you try starting off the convo with a "Hello, how are you?" and a simple compliment? That goes a long way. I agree with below, the Vday comment was rude. Change up your approach a little.....and make sure the basics are covered (i.e. you're grooming, clothes, etc.) that goes further than you think with the ladies.

basedthrowaway · 2011-06-12T13:23:13+00:00

Next time you go out, try different things than you did tonight.

And for goodness sakes dude, don't let so much of your self worth come from what other people think of you. It's tough, but what do they know about you? They only know the first 5 sentences you said to them before you left. Fuck that. You're so much more than what they saw of you, and it's THEIR fault for missing out. You may have only presented yourself wrong. Think of it this way: every beautiful woman has something ugly about her. If you only saw the toejam in between her toes, and were asked to make a judgement about her, you'd probably say that she was ugly. Boy would you be wrong when you got the whole picture. This is a lot of what going out is about; presenting yourself correctly. You want to emulate the short skirt / interesting essay: long enough to cover the essentials, but short enough to still keep it interesting.

Here's to you man. 15 approaches and 15 shoot-downs later and you're still here, and the only thing you can do is get better and learn from what happened. You're braver than all of the guys at that show who wanted to talk to 1 girl but chickened out. At least you know you don't have AA!

2011-06-12T18:57:18+00:00

You tried to seduce women at a dubstep concert? hahaha. thats the first thing wrong... Who goes to a dubstep concert by themselves or without a group? The answer? No one you'd want to go home with.

Think about it. Girls who are at a dubstep concert most likely went as a group with a few dudes, they are going to want to stick to their group and have a good time. It's not really a place to go meet people at. Besides... who goes home with people from a concert? Concerts are where I've encountered some of the creepiest and seediest people around.

Go to a bar or a party if you're trying to seduce women for your first time.

Also... just so I can get better insight: Did you go to the concert by yourself?

2011-06-12T20:27:17+00:00

I just went to a dubstep concert

There's your problem.

Asilus · 2011-06-12T21:37:00+00:00

Get knocked down 99 times get up 100! Are you a Venusian artist or not? Get back out there and sarge. This is a lifestyle!

HB10ama · 2011-06-12T06:57:24+00:00

You're awesome :)

-HB 10

dirtnastydog · 2011-06-12T19:15:56+00:00

a few questions, 1. are you ugly? 2. what were the average ratings for the girls you approached? 3. were you wearing something utterly ridiculous?

Title	(FR)15 rejections in a row
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	134
Comments	109
Date	June 12, 2011 5:02 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hxljy/fr15_rejections_in_a_row/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr15-rejections-in-a-row.1319251 https://theredarchive.com/post/1319251

Comments