Ghosted by every approach. Feeling discouraged

MK2718 · 2019-11-25T10:59:18+00:00

Top Reasons:

You do not establish a significant connection during your initial meeting.
You did not make your honest intentions clear in a congruent manner.
You never gave the other person a specific reason why they should exchange contact information with you, and what to expect in the future.
You put too much pressure on the other person such that they sense that you have an agenda. They fear that you may not respect their future decisions on the path that your relationship takes, so they avoid meeting all together.

DMV_Habibi · 2019-11-25T05:25:17+00:00

It’s all a numbers game my friend. Don’t take it personally.

Also something I do, every time I get blocked/ghosted, I write down what I think I did wrong and I don’t make that mistake again.

ImJustSo · 2019-11-25T04:45:22+00:00

5? You've got like...25 more to go to get laid. Those are rookie numbers. Gotta pump those numbers up!

redditor151099 · 2019-11-25T11:32:15+00:00

Here still struggling to gather courage to talk to one and you did 5. That's impressive.

Auxeno · 2019-11-25T12:07:50+00:00

As someone else pointed out, calling rather than texting is quite a big mistake.

Answering a phone call is asking for a great deal more compliance than asking for her to reply to a simple text. Further, if you ever ask for compliance and fail, you'll lose value in her eyes.

If your interactions went really well you're a lot more likely to get an answer from a phone call, but there's no point taking an unnecessary risk imo. Anything you can do over a call you can do by good texts.

Plenty of other good answers here, don't be discouraged, sometimes girls don't reply for seemingly no reason, if they don't reply, ping out a second text since there's nothing to be lost. Can be a bit of a numbers game at times but respect for putting the effort in man

clarko271 · 2019-11-25T13:04:57+00:00

I got 5 dates who ghosted man. Always remember that rejection is a process to determine compatibility. If you got rejected that's fine it may not have worked out anyway.

Goodluck hunting brother!

itstherealcloud · 2019-11-25T13:00:56+00:00

Realize that you will start to experience more flaky numbers only because you are now getting flaky numbers. Most people will give you a bunch of theory and just repeat and create versions from RSD.

Few things you can do that you can take action on,

Simple Greeting, Low investment text that only give such as Happy Saturday! (Girls will reply to these messages because they are positive and simple)

High value invite. Must know your area. For example I live in LA. Soho house is very popular. Any girl who gets invited will not say no. My invites are real but you can also do a false invite until you level up to make these invites real. If you are on a budget your invite will look something like this,

Hey (Name)!

Me and my friends are going to Soho house tonight. My friends for photo shoots. You would vibe with these girls. Down?

This is a real type of text I send because I do go here every week for different reasons and send real invites. But what you can do is send it very last minute so she has to say no.(its not a real invite its a DHV hidden with an invite) What that will do is illicit a response and she will see your value just by this text. She should start replying to your texts in the future because she will respect you and see your value. Very often, you can invite her to something simpler and basic within your reach and she'll go because she'll want to be invited the next time you have something big planned. This is your chance tp build more attraction comfort and close.

bobklosak · 2019-11-25T16:55:29+00:00

I did well over 1,000 quality cold approaches in my day and have only had sex with 19 different women. If your metric for success is 5 women you approached don't have a good grasp on abundance mentality.

LMAO at people who are giving him specific advice on how to improve from 5 approaches.

Even if your abilities were much better then mine expecting results from even 30 lifetime approaches would be crazy. I wouldn't worry until you have done 100 with no results. 50-100 approaches per lay is about right and some people are a little better or worse.

I met my wife from cold approach and am now happily married.

maserti · 2019-11-25T04:33:57+00:00

I hear you man, it’s tough. Don’t attach numbers to dates all the time, attach yourself you actually approached them! Dude your doing what most dudes won’t do! Be proud of that! Anyways since they did respond, better for you! The next few you meet since you’re learning could respond and you’ll get dates!

Chin up and forward on to the next! 😁

Insaneflirt_max · 2019-11-25T08:32:22+00:00

5 is not a relevant number. Approach 20 the next time you go out and then come back on what you did good/wrong

QuiteTheBrianD · 2019-11-25T06:21:02+00:00

Don’t call. Text.

ProducerNYC90 · 2019-11-25T13:55:35+00:00

Five is not enough of a sample size to analyze. Approach 100 girls and then you'll have a better idea where you stand.

This takes serious volume to get good. 5 approaches is like saying you just started playing piano, it's been five days and your frustrated because you can't play any songs. This is a serious skillset that takes repetiton and infield action to develop.

kalz44 · 2019-11-25T14:37:18+00:00

I'm assuming you're new-ish. And it takes time to build a skill. Rome wasn't built in a day.

Lord_Augastus · 2019-11-25T14:37:23+00:00

Try to build more of connection, rather than an end goal of date or what ever. Women are already oogled like sex objects, hence get to know them as friends, withs sexual intentions shown, this way she wont have to ghost you, she can outright tell you she aint interested 🤷‍♂️

Shadow__Account · 2019-11-25T14:58:04+00:00

You are still out there putting in the work lightyears ahead compared to if you were just sitting on the couch scared and not doing anything about it.

putcoolusernamehere · 2019-11-25T17:14:15+00:00

Numbers game. Most will flake when you meet them this way. Eventually you'll find some who don't and you're in business. Also, try texting rather than calling, especially if the girl is under 30 (it's the social norm). And don't wait 3 days, in fact start the texting right after the interaction (so she remembers you).

ChrisDarmount · 2019-11-25T18:37:47+00:00

Five is nothing. You have a lot more work to do. You need to do at least a few hundred more approaches. And for a while most of them are not gonna go anywhere.

You should be trying new things and changing things periodically. But you can’t expect good results so quickly. You need to be in this for the long-haul.

2019-11-25T18:51:08+00:00

Are you approaching these women with a genuine statement. “Excuse me, (genuine compliment). By the way I’m (so and so). I actually saw you from over there and thought you were really hot. So here I am talking to you. So, what are you doing walking by yourself? I’m walking by myself as well, you know, just taking in the environment. Are you a fan of coffee? Yeah? Well if you aren’t headed anywhere, let’s go grab some coffee.” The more genuine you are with your approach the easier it is to establish a connection. Will there be women out there who just aren’t interested? Of course but you have to remember, a lot of women aren’t used to strangers who they aren’t directly affiliated with (such as school, work, etc.) approaching them. Telling them, “I promise you I’m not a creep, I just thought you were hot so I came to talk to you,” really puts a woman’s mind at ease. Be easy my friend.

kaleb-west · 2019-11-25T18:58:16+00:00

Your a disappointment to humans, you should make yourself a nice bath and then jump in with a plugged in toaster:)))

Odz86 · 2019-11-25T10:02:55+00:00

There can be a lot of reasons:

-you haven't managed to trigger attraction
-you haven't demonstrated enough value
-you haven't built enough comfort and rapport
-you escalated to quickly

Give me more context.

disciplinedFreedom · 2019-11-26T03:35:10+00:00

Top reason: You believe collecting phone numbers is an accomplishment. The number is only a means to continue your awesome hangout or have a potentially awesome hangout

ksmanboy · 2019-11-25T06:27:20+00:00

Holy shit shut up lmao. Did pick up teach you to treat people like shit? This ain’t a joke bud. I’m not homeless, this was a while back, but my point remains. Stop being a pussy and put in so many approaches that you can even become comfortable with looking like shit. Self consciousness comes afterward.

guywhoisambitious · 2019-11-25T05:23:18+00:00

Need more info. What do you mean "gotten to talk to me". How good was the in person interaction?

santamanta08 · 2019-11-25T16:52:16+00:00

u tried tinder

Atriev · 2019-11-25T04:43:50+00:00

This post is too vague for us to really provide help. Clearly something is going on so wrong in your approaches that it’s leading to this flake rate. Provide more details and we can help diagnose the problem/problems.

ksmanboy · 2019-11-25T06:05:05+00:00

Bro I became homeless for game. From the moment I got off the bench the girl would literally see me get up and I would start talking to her. And after her I look for more. And more. And more. 50 approaches a day is key.

Title	Ghosted by every approach. Feeling discouraged
Author	AdviceSeekingBro
Upvotes	46
Comments	75
Date	November 25, 2019 4:13 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e1akty/ghosted_by_every_approach_feeling_discouraged/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/ghosted-by-every-approach-feeling-discouraged.1294614 https://theredarchive.com/post/1294614

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