How often do women approach men?

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-01-21T21:52:39+00:00

The right women will be receptive to you. But you still have to initiate 95% of the time.

FarComplaint2974 · 2022-01-21T21:42:16+00:00

My experience is that they are more likely to try to signal that they want to be approached. That is why body language is so important

DoomerToChad · 2022-01-21T21:29:42+00:00

The right woman will come to you is bullshit advice.

Then-Recording6836 · 2022-01-21T21:33:48+00:00

It can definitely happen. Especially in High School and College I had a lot of girls initiate things with me. But this is because you are in close proximity on a frequent basis. After High School and College, if you are not within a large social group you likely won't be approached often if ever. Even if your attractive. Only a unique type of female will approach a guy at the Grocery Store, Gym, etc. Learn to approach or just get dating off your mind.

K_Sleight · 2022-01-22T00:01:25+00:00

It CAN happen. It happened once to me, a decade and a half ago.

KounterMaze · 2022-01-21T23:24:25+00:00

I’ve been in alot of (just sex) relationships, but my now fiancé approached me first. She staired me down at work. Next week she told me she’ll watch my back as i was pulling a cart backwards as she was also heading the same direction. Few days later i asked her out, she gave me her number.

anoyingprophet · 2022-01-22T00:43:51+00:00

They usually give you signs so you can approach them. Most guys just never notice these signs. Even at 25, I misread them all the time. It's hard to know the difference between a girl just being kind and actually being interested. To be completely honest with you, this the element of game that is slowing myself and most guys back. It's really risky sometime to go for a chick and it turned out she wasn't interested. You may have just ruined a friendship. Ik at the moment I'm going through something like that and in the past, my ex told me she was throwing me signals for a very long time and even till this day, it just seemed like she was a nice person.

Live-Ad-6309 · 2022-01-22T00:41:53+00:00

I'm 23, 6` tall, visibly muscular, have full hair, a strong jaw, a killer stubble, and I've been told i have nice eyes too.

I get approached by a woman maybe 8 times per year. And of those 8, only 2 of them are attractive. The other 6 are old, fat, or both.

And I work as a bouncer, which means in a night life environment I have automatic social status due to my authority.

So yeah. It's pretty rare.

Its far more common a woman gives you a glance and a maybe a smile if you're lucky, hoping you approach her.

MegaManXanax · 2022-01-22T01:02:06+00:00

When a woman approaches you first there’s usually a catch lol

RoseTinted64 · 2022-01-22T02:38:59+00:00

Anybody who thinks that women don’t approach men, doesn’t have a handsome friend. Statistically speaking there are WAY more men that find women attractive then the other way around. Most men fall into the average category, which means it’s up too you to take initiative. Anybody who says “you’ll find her when you least expect it”, does not have experience and you shouldn’t take this advice. Spin plates and pick the best one.

SheepherderNarrow287 · 2022-01-21T23:24:01+00:00

I approached a guy at the gym the other day, asked him how to use a machine, he showed me but that was it . Nothing else happened. Actually I felt awkward because i didn’t know how to such a basic thing .

PACCBET · 2022-01-22T04:40:54+00:00

My best friend is a very good looking guy. When we travelled together we would literally hang out all day everyday. So for like 16 hours a day for months we would hang out. All I can say is, it felt like the dude lives in another world. The way people, especially women, treat him was insane. Girls were constantly staring at him, approaching him, giving him signals/hints to make a move, putting themselves in position, etc... I honestly felt invisible at times. We'd meet some girls and be sitting down together and they would only be looking and talking to him.

There was one moment I'll never forget and this isn't even some shit I'm making up (I wish it was). We were on the train going to another city and he's sitting across from this one girl who is sitting next to some older lady. I thought they knew each other but they didn't, which makes this story even more ridiculous. They start talking to my friend (of course). Then they turn to each other and start talking and giggling. My friend asks what they're saying (we're in a foreign country)... The girl said "she says you're tall and that means you must have a big dick too". Jesus fucking Christ. He's 5'11.

I have plenty more stories like this from the time we spent together... Women approach guys who are in the upper echelon of attractiveness. Guys who aren't, can still get approached but generally from less attractive women who have to be more aggressive. If a girl is really feeling you, she can or will approach you. But for a very attractive woman to "really feel" you, you'd probably have to be pretty dam good looking which isn't the majority of the population. So of course they think women don't approach them. It's easy mode for super attractive men.

I consider myself "handsome" but lacking sex appeal and confidence. I'm the kind of person a mother would try to set her daughter up with (and I've actually had offers), but not necessarily what the daughter wants. In my almost 3 decades of living, I've been approached probably only a handful of times. Definitely less than 10. But the older I get, the more I start to notice the "signals" women give out for YOU to approach THEM. This was something I was oblivious to in my younger years.

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2022-01-22T00:16:59+00:00

They “approach” you but making it obvious and easy for you to actually approach them.

Morc-Glork · 2022-01-22T00:49:29+00:00

Girls have come up to me a handful of times, the amount of times I’ve had to initiate really outweighs it though

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-01-22T02:16:20+00:00

Not often. But sometime Last time was on NYEs I was resting my eyes out back. She came up and asked if she could give me a compliment. I said sure but my neck hurt real bad could you pay me back by giving me a neck massage. Then she did. Told me a pretty I was then she drunk drove us back to her place.

I love it when things just fall into your lap. So rare. Anyway caught up with her a couple times since. Fun fun.

SpinCity07 · 2022-01-22T02:20:51+00:00

It happened to me. She was 7.5/10, very fit cuz she used stims and used to compete in swimming. Double Ds, short, blonde, blue eyes, owned a house. Fucked like a porn star. I asked her over text, but, she gave me hints to do it in person. They really want you to call them or ask them in person.

Pickingmakesitworse · 2022-01-22T04:06:55+00:00

I’ve always gone after guys that I wanted, life is too short to play silly hard-to-get games. I’ve walked up to men I’ve found attractive and slipped a piece of paper with my phone number into their shirt pocket, they were pleasantly surprised.

longgone_fish · 2022-01-22T00:12:09+00:00

Whenever it's time to take out the trash

No-Department6252 · 2022-01-21T21:33:35+00:00

women will literally approach you if she finds you attractive but it's subtle. only focus on the women that want you and if the women you want are not attractive become better looking.

mistressofnightblood · 2022-01-21T22:44:24+00:00

Personally I'm open to approaching men. Even though most of my experiences approaching men haven't ended in any type of relationship (friendship or otherwise). If I got a drink in me (sometimes even without) and think you are hot I'm definitely going to approach and tell you. I'm only ever hesitant if there is a female around. Not an insecurity thing, just outta respect just in case that's your SO.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2022-01-21T21:29:15+00:00

Women approach all the time.

TheHungryRabbit · 2022-01-21T22:57:10+00:00

They approach but normally hot or attractive guys, I mean for them this is not normal so if they are doing it obviously they go for the “best”

But you can be the best, I only got approached once and I’m pretty average looking, I was clubbing with a friend we were drunk but we had a lot of fun on the dance floor (I’m a horrible dancer btw) this girl and her friend saw that we had so much fun so after we went to the smoking section they come to us to talk, they were sober and we talked a lot, absolutely lovely girl we still taking sometimes but nothing happened cuz I was still young back then and had 0 idea how to move things forward but still it was a pleasant experience, never happened ever again so I assume if you have a fun life and you feel good girls can sense that then you automatically become attractive no matter how u look

Positive-Cloud5975 · 2022-01-21T23:51:03+00:00

I approached my now bf (we were talking a lot in a house party and then I started showing clear signals that I was interested), gave him our first kiss and invited him to get a beer (first date).

It does happen, I just don’t know how often. A lot of girls are either shy or scared the guy will perceive them differently if they make a move (I was like that)… but it can also be that she is not interested. It will depend. Also.. someone can approach by being direct or by giving subtle signs. You just have to know how to read the signs and the person.

Edited: added more text

modidlee · 2022-01-21T23:56:46+00:00

I think a woman coming up to a dude and saying “Heyyyyy wanna hook up” is rare. What I’ve experienced when a woman has been interested is she’ll figure out some way to be around me. If we’re in a group setting she’ll focus on talking to me. I know time I was at a house party and no matter where I was there was this girl who would come find me and check on me. If my drink was empty she’d get me another one. If I was hungry she’d get me something to eat. It was funny because I was thinking “damn is she trying to get me drunk?” Those are the types of things women do when they’re interested.

Mrcopeland25 · 2022-01-22T00:00:39+00:00

i’m a 26 yo conventionally attractive male and i can recall 10 times that i was approached first.

burncushlikewood · 2022-01-22T00:25:10+00:00

I've had women approach me at music festivals, usually I just look like I'm having a good time and women feel comfortable around me, that's the only time I've been approached

thelambofdeth · 2022-01-22T00:32:41+00:00

It can happen if you're really attractive. But seeking or expecting it is pointless and will lead to frustration and disappointment. You can't be passive and thst advice to just wait until princess charming swoops down I'd farcical and damaging tbh. It's a pipe dream.

PurgeDeBrutes · 2022-01-22T00:43:28+00:00

1 in 50

MikeAlphaGolf · 2022-01-22T00:44:05+00:00

For a stranger, the woman’s version of an approach is eye contact and proximity. If you’re at a bar and you meet eyes with someone, and nek minnut she’s mover her group nearer, clear approach.

For people you know, friends etc, it can be more direct. Social media DMs out of the blue. Comments on your posts etc. If you get these it’s a green light to offer to hang out.

LandscapeClear1630 · 2022-01-22T01:01:41+00:00

Never.

shecallsmedaddyyy · 2022-01-22T01:24:15+00:00

I’ve been approached dozens of times at the bar.

jwaters0122 · 2022-01-22T01:47:45+00:00

If they're not working? Very rare.

Only time I ever got approached by women is if they needed help with something like directions, what time something is etc.

when it came to wanting to date/get to know, I always had to make the first move every time

ManiacalDream · 2022-01-22T02:09:13+00:00

Rarely to never. 😶

DH4800 · 2022-01-22T02:15:09+00:00

You’ll have to look pretty damn good but if you ugly you have to simp for it

creativeoutlaw44 · 2022-01-22T02:20:26+00:00

Rarely, if ever. Has happened to me twice in my life and was just pure luck/was lucky enough to see it was happening.

Do not count on it or expect it, ever. Do the work instead.

Ectoplasmic1984 · 2022-01-22T03:15:51+00:00

almost never, more than likely it will always be extremely rare or outside of the norm for women to approach guys or to make the first move, ask a guy out

dobbs1997 · 2022-01-22T03:21:17+00:00

Forget that, if it happens then cool but if you’re out and about and you see someone you find attractive who you wanna meet ….boii you better go up and say something to her.

2dice1hand · 2022-01-22T03:48:09+00:00

All the time, you just have to learn to recognize the signals… women will use proximity to show interest, they will put themselves around you or find reasons to start vague conversation. It’s your job to recognize this and follow up

Alpenliebe2022 · 2022-01-22T04:30:40+00:00

That could be happened I think, but will mostly based on how long you can live, especially under the covid situation.

traviij · 2022-01-22T04:53:30+00:00

Ya - with no alcohol involved, I’ve been approached 5 ish times I think?

Alcohol is a different story

TacoRockapella · 2022-01-22T04:54:48+00:00

Not enough

droopi3 · 2022-01-22T05:01:54+00:00

They don’t. They usually wait for men to approach them

Mog_Melm · 2022-01-22T05:04:47+00:00

Is "the right women will come to you" true?

Nope! Women will occasionally approach you, but don't hold your dang breath.

Sensitive-Permit-877 · 2022-01-22T05:22:48+00:00

Never

badman20129928 · 2022-01-22T05:27:13+00:00

Listen mate that is not something You need to think about. Passive ideation is not the right way to go about anything. you are to scared to go and approach women so you are looking for an excuse to not to so. Get over your fears and get out there. No excuses

Sawt0othGrin · 2022-01-22T05:33:23+00:00

Women "approach men" by giving us pretty on the nose choosing signals. We still gotta make the approach usually. Every now an then you'll get one to come up to you first.

customer-service1st · 2022-01-22T05:50:41+00:00

I’m a woman, 30s, mid level attractiveness, extremely confident outside of dating. I never approach. I’ve been single for over 3 years. I just assume I’ll be rejected and don’t try. I use being a single mom as a crutch to explain my singleness. “People don’t want to date a single mom. “ to be fair, I’m rarely approached. So maybe I think I’m more attractive than I am. 🤷🏼‍♀️

ragtopsluvr · 2022-01-22T06:22:15+00:00

get or borrow a dog and women will approach you

H8beingmale · 2022-01-22T16:31:21+00:00

the burden of testosterone will always make this one sided, and a penis as well

radio_pictures · 2022-01-22T16:49:59+00:00

Only when you have a girlfriend

Title	How often do women approach men?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	61
Comments	122
Date	January 21, 2022 9:26 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s9ley0/how_often_do_women_approach_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-often-do-women-approach-men.1268561 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268561