Is it true if you are physically attractive man, women generally approach you first and make a move?

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-04-20T18:51:43+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

Nugget834 · 2025-04-20T11:57:37+00:00

Maybe if they are drunk enough and you walk past them in a bar

norwegiandoggo · 2025-04-20T11:56:11+00:00

Absolutely fucking not. It's exceedingly rare for women to actively approach male strangers.

But they will typically drop hints. Or subtle approach invitations like prolonged eye contact and smile, or hanging around close to him.

In social settings - where it's normal for everyone to speak to everyone - they will obviously also talk to him. And might seem more interested in talking to him than other guys. So if you consider that an approach then sure. But this is not a cold approach.

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2025-04-20T12:00:38+00:00

No, if they are interested in you, they will make it easy for YOU to approach them and ask them out.

Western_Secretary284 · 2025-04-20T12:36:02+00:00

They send more choosing signals. You will notice them glancing at you and quickly looking away. Rooms will get quieter when you first enter. But women are risk averse by nature. They don't approach the guys they're most attracted to. They approach the guys they know they can get.

This only changes if they are very inebriated or you've expressed interested in them yourself. Pick up is easier, but women largely do not approach you first.

nasenbohrer · 2025-04-20T13:32:10+00:00

My friend is a somehow famous bodybuilder in some Bodybuilder circles in germany. He is built like the comic character johny bravo. Long story short: he gets looks more often thn others and girls are open to being approached by him. Problem is: even if he does, he is a insecure guy and doesnt have a clue what to do with the girls. So we often had the situation where he got with a beauty together that night in a club, then we saw him with those girls all over him but he didnt make the next move. Instead he called us up and wanted to hang with us because he didnt knew and couldnt advance... Totally weird.

So the moral of the story: even if you are a 10 lookwise butyou dont know what to do and how to lead the girl, you are not better than an average looking guy.

Mobile_Fisherman117 · 2025-04-20T11:56:49+00:00

No no no no 😁

No-Grade-5057 · 2025-04-20T12:21:16+00:00

Women approach my husband in gas stations. He's very muscular. Plus, he works in construction, so he looks like money. I think the wedding ring attracts them too. He notices them peering around corners. They try to catch his eye. They try to be flirty and strike up conversations in the checkout line.

Women definitely approach. Idk what your definition of "the first move" is, but chicks will put themselves in your line of view.

It would be an interesting experiment if you wore work boots and high vis to the gas station and record the reactions you get from women. You could do a wedding ring experiment too.

Thelondonvoyager · 2025-04-20T12:10:47+00:00

It has happened to me around 4-6 times it isn't common.

entitledwank · 2025-04-20T11:55:49+00:00

always_pizza_time · 2025-04-20T13:01:14+00:00

Yes but only women who I'm not attracted to. As many options as I have, the women I'm attracted to have infinitely more options and would never need to approach first. When I'm at a club, I'll often get women coming up to me and asking for my name. Never once has it been a woman I'd classify as above average.

pepotero · 2025-04-20T13:51:32+00:00

A lot of unattractive and not in-shape guys on reddit answering here. Take that before listening to advice on this thread.

Saying it as a non physically attractive guy, I take all the advice about this question with a grain of salt here....

ProfitSuch5254 · 2025-04-20T12:51:00+00:00

Yes it is true, the guys saying no are just chopped af

jackthehat6 · 2025-04-20T12:58:14+00:00

At night, ABSOLUTELY!! my ex wingman would get approached and hit on like 6+ times per night when we went out to bars. (looked like movie star handsome. Kinda like a youngish diCaprio but a bit more hench)

Day time? I think that's super rare. All that happened to that same wing was that he got outrageous IOI's from cashiers and girls walking past him etc. But don't think I ever saw one actually approach him in the day

coachmelloweyes · 2025-04-20T13:50:45+00:00

Depends on your rarity and the context. 6’8 with model face … yes.

Neighbourhood pretty boy- you’ll get stared at and maybe have ‘innocent’ convos started.

ow3ntrillson · 2025-04-20T12:12:29+00:00

Situations like these are not as rosy as people make them out to be. Do women approach attractive men? Not often, but they’re more willing to talk/chat with attractive men in general. The girls that do approach men are usually average girls.

I’ll give you an example of a party. As per usual, most girls are dressed slutty/promiscuously and of 10 girls, about 3 are 8’s-10’s (leaving the rest as average 6’s or 7’s). Obviously all the guys at the party want to bang the 8-10’s and naturally give little thought or sexual attention to the other girls. Eventually, because the 8’s and 10’s play hard to get, some guys end up hookingup/sleeping with the 5’s - 7’s.

From my experience, men take what they can get while women (quite literally) shoot for the stars.

Caldite · 2025-04-20T12:50:30+00:00

It's possible if the environment or settings are conducive and it's also relative. I've approached men I fancied when I was dared by friends to give it a go. I've spoken directly to a friend I had a crush on. I've spoken to guys I was drawn towards during a vacation, so it really depends. And tbh, it's not about being hot , it's much about the vibes.

logger01 · 2025-04-20T13:20:37+00:00

Happens to a friend of mine fairly often (i have seen it with my own eyes multiple times). But you have to be very cute and attractive, starting with the face.

No-Dependent-8401 · 2025-04-20T13:21:18+00:00

Sometimes, but usually will just be choosing signals. Women that approach will be average most of the time.

_aoiv_ · 2025-04-20T13:46:12+00:00

Ive personally had it happen only once since getting in shape. At a job I noticed she kept staring at me then one day she just asked me for my name, I told her and asked what's hers then she said something i cant remember and i wanted to test how far she'd go for me so i told her im married, and she goes "well are you happily married? I really don't care" 🤣 she really wasnt all that and had face tattoos, but ill appreciate a solid bitch. It never turned into anything.

Dry_Leg_7171 · 2025-04-20T16:30:04+00:00

I have the opposite effect gay dudes hit on me when I’m trying to get that from women😔

Norpeeeee · 2025-04-20T13:49:06+00:00

I’d say there are exceptions, but generally you will not get approached by legit 9 or 10. If you are approached, then assume you are not the only one who’s being approached. In other words, don’t assume you are treated uniquely.

epimpstyle · 2025-04-20T14:04:00+00:00

When a woman approaches a man, I always think it’s a trap.

It happened to me once at the mall, I was looking at a showcase when a lovely lady suddenly told me she couldn't decide which hand smelled better, the left or the right. I told her the right one, and she said, "Oh, this one? I knew it! My best friend, she’s over there, told me the same... bla bla bla"

For a few seconds, I thought I had landed the big fish without even trying. Then suddenly, I heard her say: "Oh, perfect! So this one, this is XYZ perfume, and today we have a discount on it. I have a catalog with promotions; you can buy a nice perfume for your wife or girlfriend..."

Absentrando · 2025-04-20T14:34:59+00:00

I wouldn’t say generally, but they often do. They generally just flirt with you and hope you make the move. Foreign women have been the most direct and aggressive both in the US, but especially when I lived in France. I’d say it’s mostly women in the 4-7 range. I don’t think I’ve had an extremely attractive or ugly woman randomly approach me

-Twyptophan- · 2025-04-20T15:33:45+00:00

Sometimes?

I've experienced it a few times, either a girl tapping me on the shoulder or a girl's friend saying "hey my friend thinks you're cute"

The caveat is that most of the time, the girl is not that attractive. You have to do some work if you want the good looking ones

CoachAlex96 · 2025-04-20T16:20:16+00:00

Sometimes

WhatsTheAnswerDude · 2025-04-20T12:02:40+00:00

I dont necessarily think they approach more exactly. Does that likely increase yes? Is it just girls flat out going for the guy all the time and what not either though? No.

Its more so, those women will be MUCH more open or flash their interest a lot more directly or it'll be a lot more obvious in general.

Nonetheless, just because they might open or approach more often....its still on the dude to take things from there. The guy can still fumble things just as much as any average dude and be left with nothing.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-04-20T12:35:54+00:00

Night settings like clubs or bars, yeah I’ve seen it once in a while. In a mall or broad day light? Probably not.

And besides, if a woman dares to approach a man I bet she would have “come to Jesus” moment where she’d realize approaching a stranger is not easy, even just to open a small talk. Women don’t realize this simple fact because they are on the literally-receiving end most of the time.

I had this acquaintance of mine where we barely talked during pandemic while we were at work. One day while we didn’t wear our masks because it was just both of us in the room she said “I didn’t realize without wearing a mask you’re actually pretty cute.” I just looked at her funny and replied “really, that’s the best line you could come up with?” Made her jaw dropped and blushed and never talked to me again. I still think about this moment once in a while and kinda regret it.

GazelleLast · 2025-04-20T12:33:20+00:00

No. But IoI's yes.

International-Aide-2 · 2025-04-20T12:35:43+00:00

If we're being objectively honest, for the most part women always make the first move. We just don't know how to see the moves for what they are

Mcnasty_Welds · 2025-04-20T13:48:38+00:00

Very rarely, just to be clear it's a fucking trap, it does happen from time to time.

TonytheNetworker · 2025-04-20T13:51:16+00:00

In general I think women create the space for men they find attractive to approach them (long eye contact, a smile, etc) There’s been some women that have approached me but it’s rare.

AlrightyAlmighty · 2025-04-20T14:05:36+00:00

iamatwork24 · 2025-04-20T14:24:33+00:00

lol nope, still 9/10 times guy approaches first. Just far more receptive to it and successful

TheLonelyPrincess741 · 2025-04-20T14:28:23+00:00

I used to but dont anymore. It definitely happens more to attractive than to not attractive men. Same goes for women.

random_question4123 · 2025-04-20T14:41:07+00:00

I've witnessed it first hand - I have friends that this happens to. And I'm talking gorgeous girls, not average cute girls. Their game is pretty weak but it doesn't even matter. One thing in common with all of the men I've seen this happen to is they're all tall - 6'2 minimum. That's priority number one, I think it's rarer to have girls coming up to you even if you're good looking but average height. However, they would still be very receptive if you approach.

Another thing to get women coming up to you is to be recognizable - if you have a large following on social media and they recognize you from their Explore page, they're more likely to come up to you for the clout. This is more applicable for girls ages 25 and below.

If you're tall, good looking and have an online presence, that's the trifecta for never having to approach a girl again.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-04-20T14:42:18+00:00

Lmao no. I’m 6’ 4 and I n shape. Absolutely not true

VelvetSinclair · 2025-04-20T14:48:15+00:00

It's happened to me once

So not generally, no

_Toomuchawesome · 2025-04-20T15:05:59+00:00

Yes it is true. Most of my girlfriends they have approached me.

It’s a double edged sword though because I didn’t know how to approach until much later in life

yoi987 · 2025-04-20T15:07:34+00:00

For men, having a good look cannot make a fish jumps into your bucket. Men must have something to interact the world with it. And look is not that. Men are provider, who act. good looking just makes him more quality and that's all.

a look is an initiator of women's attraction not of action. Unless women are drunk and somehow got breakout from their limitations of femininity.

You might think if you have a 10/10 face and height and muscles the whole worlds of women flock to you in every place you go but that's not true. You will definitely feel people regardless men or women looking at you, there are women contact eyes with you frequently and when they are a group you will notice the atmosphere changes before and after you got into that place. But that's all. If you don't act that's mere other people looking at you. Looks doesn't matter. But it can help you.

Mobile-Passenger3214 · 2025-04-20T15:19:42+00:00

I didn't believe it until I saw it with my eyes. Me and two friends were eating at Macdonalds and the server approach our table and give her number to one of my friends he is a solid 9.5

Bludditor · 2025-04-20T15:20:55+00:00

its happened to me twice, will keep u posted

asilenth · 2025-04-20T15:35:09+00:00

I get approached pretty often by attractive women or at the very least stared at and then I make a move.

For context though, I get comments that I look like Ryan Serhant now (I'm 45, 6'1, fit with salt and pepper hair and light eyes) and when I was younger before the greys I got Christopher Reeves a lot, even won a costume contests dressed as Superman once lol.

I recently had a Twin Peaks girl rubber neck me and approach as soon as I was done talking to a group of girl that I know. That was an ego boost for sure. Is this a general rule? No, I still approach much more than I'm approached.

Osiris_Raphious · 2025-04-20T15:44:53+00:00

Yes, even on the apps, Women will initiate, but if you dont reciprocate and take over the iois they will loose interest as they still need validation and attention.

But yes, attraction does get attention for both sexes, its not a sicret. Improve your inner and outer game at the same time. Even if you are ugly, you can still dress well, exercise and have a nice haricut, have confidence and some charisma and shit going on in your life so you arnt a bore to talk to. You can approach and initiate, but pretty people also get approached so they get to learn what is an eek when approached.

One of the best things you can do, is get bumble and girndr and see what openers most people have. Women have the bog standard hi. and so do 99% of the guys. And thats why even when you match on tinder or irl, your shitty 'hi how are you;' goes nowhere... because there are like 100 other dudes saying the same boring thing. breaking ice making a connection is key.

1-long-legs-vixen · 2025-04-20T16:30:24+00:00

lol ha ha hee hee lmao 😅🤣😂🤭😜😛😀😁

🤫

Aktive_IV · 2025-04-20T16:33:30+00:00

I’d say if you’ve been approached by women who’d be considered at least a 6 & above in the looks dept. you can consider yourself decent to good looking. Doesn’t happen often & this is out in public approach. On the internet it is way easier for them to shoot there shot but even then a lot of them still want to be approached and made the 1st move on given that they have pre-conceived notions about you given your good looking. Also pre selection is a really really big deal that’s not magnified enough in getting MORE women. When they see you with other women that are nice looking it almost automatically triggers interest/like in them wanting to find out what your abt.

guypamplemousse · 2025-04-20T16:41:47+00:00

jsllls · 2025-04-20T16:48:39+00:00

I’d say they make up things to talk to you. For example, at work they’d ask you for help with some basic thing that they obviously know, ask for advice, or perhaps offer you their help unprompted. Women are rarely direct.

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2025-04-20T17:15:49+00:00

physical attraction is not the same; for both; they do however focus more on your grooming; your style; do you belong to a cool tribe or you dress and look generic???; do you wear a conversation piece?

women almost never approach and that is 100% true for the 10/10 ; she might glance at you several times; she might get into your personal space hoping that you open her but they almost never initiate the conversation lol

Fancy-Dickus · 2025-04-20T17:21:45+00:00

Bro. I have a friend that's I think average face but extremely fit and random girls straight up go to him and ask him to fuck the shit out of them/spit on their asshole etc

ExtraordinaryBeetles · 2025-04-20T17:23:56+00:00

If you follow game principles, no. They give you the first signal of interest. That may be as subtle as looking at you, standing near you or (if you make it easy enough by having something apparent and interesting enough to talk about) giving an opinion or question on something situationally relevant.

mtlash · 2025-04-20T17:56:24+00:00

Only if you are top of the cream like 1% or a 10/10. If you are even 9/10 those chances drop dramatically.

Also, it's a cultural thing. In North America, women are not mentally conditioned to approach, infact some consider it unacceptable.

In the UK, it is little bit different.

Inner_Reaction_1783 · 2025-04-20T18:10:50+00:00

If you’ve ever felt like someone’s controlling your emotions or behavior in subtle ways, I highly recommend this video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWKZrL2Ll-Q&ab_channel=PhilosophicalPulse

It doesn’t just list red flags—it also dives into deeper, reflective ideas on how to stay mentally strong. Worth a watch!

IndividualNo4572 · 2025-04-20T18:22:10+00:00

if you rich or handsome or famous or successful some time girls try to approach you.

zorg-is-real · 2025-04-20T11:57:18+00:00

Yes, but you need to be really really attractive.

Due-Campaign-5157 · 2025-04-20T13:36:59+00:00

No women start being creepy and do that stupid stare thing they do.

Pinhead-Larry27 · 2025-04-20T14:08:02+00:00

lol no dude. Sure, it’s happened to me but it’s pretty rare. Not trying to sound egotistical but I am considered very attractive

grey_g00se_ · 2025-04-20T13:05:47+00:00

Idk that you’ll see that many more women approach because you’re attractive but the laws of attractiveness in psychology basically say that if you are attractive life is easier for you. Can read more about it in this vice article…

https://www.vice.com/en/article/psychology-pretty-privilege-attractive-people/

tabure67 · 2025-04-20T16:17:25+00:00

Directly to date me? No, but I had situations where girls approached me indirectly.

IamWisdom · 2025-04-20T16:53:08+00:00

No. On dating apps they do. But I still have to be the one to plan. In public at night they sometimes do, but otherwise, they're either too cowardly or too spoiled to the point where you are expected to be the one to face a possible rejection so that they can avoid bruising thwir own egos. Plus, they're just lazy and physical attraction doesn't usually get them wet like a man's physical attraction to a woman can just immediately get is going. You have to get inside their mind to get them sexually attracted.

Glacier_Sama · 2025-04-20T12:01:27+00:00

I get approached often.

Title	Is it true if you are physically attractive man, women generally approach you first and make a move?
Author	Designer-Pen-7332
Upvotes	83
Comments	99
Date	April 20, 2025 11:49 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1k3ktaw/is_it_true_if_you_are_physically_attractive_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-true-if-you-are-physically-attractive-man.1550118 https://theredarchive.com/post/1550118

Comments