Men, how the hell do I know when to make a move while on a date with a woman?

Both_Warthog_3386 · 2026-01-05T03:51:08+00:00

This might sound weird but this has been my call to action all the time. When you sit next to her at the bar, make your knees touch. If she maintains knee contact, you are in the clear for landing.

For me, I have always had smooth escalation from there, like hand holding and stuff. It has never failed. Sounds dumb, and it probably is, but the knee technique has served me and my best friend really well over the years. Also, when it comes to flirting, you can practice on dating simulation sites like chatvisor to learn timing and build confidence.

First award. Fuck yea 🤟🏽

tonyferguson2021 · 2026-01-05T04:24:07+00:00

Anxiety is a form of excitement. Practice having your attention on the physical sensations in your body. Often she will be feeling the same.

Dont think too much / overthink, you are a mammal. If you’re sitting side by side and she leans into you, you don’t have to ask permission to put your arm around her and squeeze her close a little.

Enjoy her presence and the feelings you feel from her, when you want things to be more physical don’t go asking her really ‘heady questions‘ that send her mind into the zones of logic and reasoning / debating etc

Know when to shut up, awkward silence is not a bad thing despite your discomfort, tension is needed for anything to happen. If you always dissipate tension by using humour all the time or just being overly chatty you’ll be more like buddies than people engaged in intimacy.

Pay attention to how her energy moves, what she does with her body etc / if she’s mirroring you , not in an analytical way but as in how it makes you feel in your nervous system

BounceThatShit · 2026-01-05T04:23:33+00:00

The best way ive found to initiate touch is looking at her nails, compliment them and as you do you grab her hand. Of course it helps if theyre painted etc

Pianomotor · 2026-01-05T05:57:49+00:00

Always make a move. Signals are hard to detect and can be confusing. So you eliminate that variable. It's really a numbers game.

Reasonable_Aspect989 · 2026-01-05T07:52:40+00:00

It takes some experience but, if you pay attention, you will get good at reading her signals. If she touches your arm or starts leaning in closer, you're doing great!

It took me a long time to figure this stuff out, btw. Years ago, I was at a party with a girl I really liked. She was really flirting with me. At one point, she even put her head on my shoulder. Signals won't get much clearer than that! Yet, I was clueless. Not making a move remains one of my biggest regrets to this day.

cjunc2013 · 2026-01-05T04:07:40+00:00

Make body contact when reasonable. Like touch shoulder when sharing something, very casual. If she leans into it, prepare to push it a smidge further.

If she pulls back when ur touch, the pull back as well as the vibe isn’t vibing for her. Tease a bit about cooties to break the awkwardness. Plan to exit when reasonable and move on

Dazzling-Example5900 · 2026-01-05T07:08:06+00:00

I suck at this too, I just straight up tell them I want to kiss them and it works, it's about the delivery lol

Repttarr · 2026-01-05T05:25:11+00:00

I don’t know where people stand on this but once in a while when I’ve found a woman tricky to read in terms of escalation, I just ask “is it ok if I kiss you?” And it usually goes well.

burncushlikewood · 2026-01-05T04:07:55+00:00

You have to look for signs, you also need to build comfort and attraction. Seduction is a 3 step process, attraction phase, comfort phase, then seduction. Signs to look for? Proximity, Kino, eye contact, staring at lips, and a really underrated sign, look at her eyes, specifically her pupils, pupils dilate when someone is interested in you in a sexual way

Evilfck · 2026-01-05T03:55:50+00:00

what's your plan for the date?

vertascend · 2026-01-05T08:38:56+00:00

Order of escalation

Eye contact- look deep into eyes from time to time
Physical touch- initiate physical touch somehow, and become comfortable with maintaining it… if she doesn’t resist… alls green.
Eye contact- eyes, lips, eyes …. Slowly lean in as you do this…and go for gold… do it slow to build tension

EmpireStrikes1st · 2026-01-05T15:07:01+00:00

If you're looking for the mechanics of it, I suggest you Google "Kino "Ladder," or do the knee trick - touch her knee with yours and see if she if she moves her knee or keeps it there.

But here's the thing: Nothing turns a woman on more than confidence. And I KNOW that sounds like bullshit when you don't have it, so here's my hack: say you're going to do it, then do it. Look her in the eye and say, "I'm going to kiss you now." If she freezes up or says no, respect that. Say something like, "That's ok, what can I do to make you more comfortable?"

You're on a date, she wouldn't be there if she weren't open to it in the first place.

hwillis891 · 2026-01-05T11:08:11+00:00

I would say and agree with all the other posters, to know when the right time to make a move is to just make a move and let her respond. Typically if she’s into you she’ll like it. You might get a rejection or two, but at least you’re honest with your actions.

shlomobo · 2026-01-05T14:41:20+00:00

When you feel that you want to make a move it‘s the right time.

But don‘t kiss her out of the blue. Initiate some kind of physical touch before and see how she responds like taking her hand, putting your arm around her etc.

If she is not attracted she will try to escape from your physical touch as soon as possible. If she‘s fine with it - it‘s your sign.

SuperPoop · 2026-01-05T17:49:08+00:00

if you're anxious and working up to the kiss the whole night, it'll seem awkward and forced when it happens. however.... if you're lightly touching throughout the date, it will not be forced but seem natural. good luck

TheGaujo · 2026-01-05T05:07:24+00:00

Take a walk, suggest you sit on a bench. If she sits close, you know.

Chew_512 · 2026-01-05T05:38:50+00:00

Make an innocent compliment and see how she takes it (something like omg you look so cute when you smile) that way she knows you’re feeling her

joker3015 · 2026-01-05T07:40:46+00:00

Just kiss her at the end of the date bro

ImpossibleWaiting · 2026-01-05T07:44:30+00:00

Most of the time you don't. You just keep on slowly escalating touch until you're kissing. That can take an hour or so depending on how aroused your partner gets. Look her in the eyes, look at her lips. That's your signal that you want to kiss her. Then you look at her and try to gauge if she'll reciprocate. If she doesn't don't get upset. Just keep on going like nothing happened. Take a step back in escalation and try again later.

Matter_Still · 2026-01-05T09:46:46+00:00

Here's a thought: why not just try to come up with a way that you can give her an uncommonly enjoyable experience--the kind that would make her tell a friend, "I really like this guy. We had such a great time."

If you accomplish that and can make it happen a second time, the dominoes should start to fall.

Doctor__Finance · 2026-01-06T12:40:47+00:00

First, list your accomplishments. Anything. Just even recalling them, small or big, will boast your confidence. Look yourself in the mirror, idealize and interiorize your future, your next accomplishments. Just visualize how great you are, and much greater in your next journeys. There will be other women also, so this date will be just a good experience for you. For her, she should feel lucky to meet you in person.

You are in a great path, asking here advice, trying to augment your life in a good way. So after you internalize those approaches, you will not "fear" to touch her. Remember, if you don't escalate, she will think that you don't like her at all. Go out, have fun, and remember your bigger goals, your career.

Federal_Writer_593 · 2026-01-12T11:44:02+00:00

Call me or come get this I'll show u

PostAvailable9966 · 2026-01-12T13:43:59+00:00

Here is a full guide for you.

Essentially 3 things:

Probing
Learn to read subtle queues
It is ok to crush and burn

And the old adage: “when in doubt, escalate”

Cai9NR · 2026-01-05T08:15:08+00:00

Just be genuine, and stay present with her during conversation. Give genuine compliments when you feel there is space in the conversation. If her body language seems to relax and open up to you, remain calm. Tell her how you are feeling about the date. Actually reflect on how you are feeling about her. Ask her if she is open to physical touch on a first date. Remember that she is a complete stranger to you and vice versa.

'Making a move' is a very broad term. Ask her what kind of dating she is looking for at this time in her life. What kind of dating are you (OP) open to? Are you just trying to get laid on a first date? Are you willing to say that to her?

If she is open to sexual discussion, then share with her your preferences and desires. Actually listen to her responses, and respect her boundaries. Ask her what her level of experience is. be open to sharing your is she is interested. If she is not, don't push it beyond her level of comfort. Learn about her from her, not from random redditors.

Especially if you are inexperienced, just take the time to get some experience. Seek consent whenever new thresholds are approached. It is always good form to ask, especially when you are just getting to know someone. Real life is not the movies, or porn. There is much more nuance in actual dating.

Title	Men, how the hell do I know when to make a move while on a date with a woman?
Author	Lopsided_Meeting_984
Upvotes	130
Comments	52
Date	January 5, 2026 3:50 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1q4b6rc/men_how_the_hell_do_i_know_when_to_make_a_move/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/men-how-the-hell-do-i-know-when-to-make-a-move.1570458 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570458

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