Why is game so difficult?

Fuzzy-Bottle-4138 · 2024-02-15T20:50:29+00:00

Listen man…I’ve seen you post here a bunch of times and here are some harsh truths.

First of all you’re putting way too much pressure on this and taking things way too seriously. You’re in college. Most guys at this age are socially awkward and not fully developed physically. Stop worrying so much about getting pussy and making it a huge deal. Focus on having fun, meeting tons of people, trying to be social with everyone, join tons of clubs and sports that you’re interested in, pursue your studies, go to parties and bars on the weekends. College is all about social circle game. I went to one of the biggest party schools and Greek life campuses in the US, and all of the people I knew that got the most girls were just fun people that got along with everyone. And none of them were thirsty desperate weirdos that just focused on pussy all day long. I don’t even know a single person that truly did “cold approach” in college and everyone got girls.

I’ve also just noticed posts where it seems like you’re reading way too much PUA stuff. It’s an information overload and you’re overthinking every scenario way too much. You seem like a smart dude, but you’re treating it like some analytical, mathematical formula. You literally had a post the other day where you said “I tried to kino this girl.” It sounded super cringey. Try to develop connections with people and treat them like humans and not robots. Stop thinking if you “neg” this girl 3 times followed by “kino” 2 times followed by “x” maneuver you’re going to magically get girls. That’s not what seduction is.

Finally, and I apologize for being harsh and may get downvoted for this but you’ve posted pictures here before and you’re a very average looking, relatively short, very scrawny, super young Asian dude. It’s gonna be really hard for you out there. And I believe you mentioned you also lived in Canada which is notoriously a super hard place for Asian men to date (along with many other countries). Minorities always have it harder, especially in certain cities and countries. I grew up in a super diverse area of Chicago and have tons of Asian friends and it’s just harder. And times are slowly changing but still, most people date within their race. I hate to say it but it’s the world we live in. It’s way easier for me as a 6’4 white man. That’s just how it is.

And again, you’re super young and still new to this. Shit gets way easier as you get older, become more confident, look more attractive and more mature, make more money, etc. The dating world is tough for a 20-21 year old guy sometimes. Women from the ages of 24 and older arent really looking for college ages dudes. And a lot of these young college girls nowadays are immature, insecure, not sure what they want, just fucking around. You get way more options as you get older. Things will get way better. Trust me

Dorsiflexionkey · 2024-02-16T00:17:48+00:00

Reasons why it's hard:
- nobody teaches us this shit

- we have to do it through trial and error; we can't theory our way through this shit

- it can hurt our feelings

Reasons why it's hard for you:
- you haven't worked out enough

- you haven't worked on your career enough

- you've been doing this for 1 fucking month (that's basically 0 time)

- you haven't put work into your foundations yet

Not to be rude, but you haven't been around long enough to be a valid player yet. You haven't put enough work in the gym, your style or your networth. You think "oh if I say XYZ I'll get laid" no bro, nobody ever said that it works like that.

You need to realise who you're competing against. You're competing against fucking wolves out here and you're still a puppy. Get into lifting and MMA and get a taste of the mindset of what other successful men are doing. And realise that's just 10% of it. It'll be enough to propel you into every other aspect in your life

Dexterslaughterhouse · 2024-02-15T21:59:26+00:00

A month? Lmao. Dude your gonna give up if you get frustrated over 1 month. You need to fundamentals shift your perspective. Plenty of gold medalist kill themselves after winning gold. The problem, they are tied up in the outcome. And when they get it, it doesn't give them that feeling they hoped for. And poof. Listen man, im not saying go out there and half ass it. Strive to be a winner. But put the work in. Focus on feeling successful based on you doing the things you know you should. And keep the ball rolling. Weekend warriors don't make nearly enough progress. I use to. For way to long. Would hammer out like 8 hours on the weekend. And not really go out at all during the week. Just here this week ive been going out more regularly and maintaining a higher level of momentum. Less worried about some of the girls i met flaking. Because i know ill hook another one 😏 tonight. Focus on the process. Pick specific skills to work on. And build yourself up brother. And get some mentores. And be willing to do this every day for the next 10 years 😝

TodayOrTmrw · 2024-02-15T22:03:02+00:00

When you say not much results, what do you mean? I started at the start of 2023. I wasn’t doing well until like 6 months later lol.

starkrebel · 2024-02-15T22:02:28+00:00

Because anything worth doing, is worth doing well.

ruddywaters · 2024-02-15T23:14:31+00:00

Stop comparing, and get out there so you can go pro...no one on reddit can make you a pro...that's on you.

crossfitvision · 2024-02-15T23:15:31+00:00

Once you get good at it, it’s the easiest thing in the world. Like anything in life. You just get into a groove and don’t think about it.

refreshingface · 2024-02-15T23:33:39+00:00

It’s time to save up for limb lengthening surgery

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-02-15T23:27:35+00:00

Game is not difficult...in fact it is a single word: indifference.

Think of it like that. Everything about the game, all of the thousands of verbal and non verbal nuisances and social skills and psychological implications involved are rooted in indifference. (neutrality). Detachment from outcomes and beauty.

Knowing that lets you consolidate all the information floating around in your head so u can better internalize it.

Sunflowersfordinner1 · 2024-02-16T08:28:52+00:00

It’s not. Ur just a b

Miguell7 · 2024-02-16T00:47:21+00:00

Because we have been programmed for decades in a way that makes it hard.

This is not so much about learning more but more about unlearning.

gayqwertykeyboard · 2024-02-16T05:28:30+00:00

My dude, one month in and you’re complaining? Took me 10+ years to get good. Now will it take you that long? Probably not if you’re completely focused on just improving your game, but that’s not really healthy in my opinion. My advice: be patient, lower your expectations, and work on improving all aspects of yourself (health both mental and physical, wealth, social life, and internal beliefs), not just getting women.

InFa-MoUs · 2024-02-16T16:56:54+00:00

Short answer is you haven’t worked on yourself enough.. game gets really easy once you become desirable

letsgetwizzyy · 2024-02-16T00:06:48+00:00

Game won't become easy until you make certain internalizations. Once I worked on becoming truly more masculine, developing myself as a man, and internalizing the idea that women love boldness and having fun and playful conversations, may game went from good to amazing.

Applying techniques is great, but you truly won't become good until you have a firm understanding of female nature, and become the game through internalization. Learning game is great for getting women, but if you want to sustain women and have them desire you long term, you have to internalize masculine behaviors (that is, become masculine) and level up as a man so you will have indifference and understand that no matter what happens, you will have the ability to date women of equal quality or better because of your continuous self development.

This article goes into detail about how to develop yourself as a man to make your self as attractive to women as possible: https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-attract-high-quality-women?r=31tj3q&utm\_campaign=post&utm\_medium=web

ruddywaters · 2024-02-15T23:02:04+00:00

I think You find it difficult cuhz in your opinion, your not sure if you're "doing it correctly" but correctly is however you execute successfully...

No_Plan8250 · 2024-02-15T20:50:26+00:00

Can you outline your idea of game - is there a common process you follow? Anything you commonly do, and any common obstacles you come up against?

Dynamix86 · 2024-02-15T21:24:19+00:00

Be glad that it’s difficult because it it wasn’t you wouldn’t appreciate it as much when you find a great girl and she would probably have a body count of 100+ if game was easy for men

ruddywaters · 2024-02-15T23:05:24+00:00

Your trynna compare your game with someone you feel is successful to validate it, but we all have similar goals, and execute in a manner that suits your persona, your game is yours, not to be compared with mine...simply execute.

jayadancer · 2024-02-15T20:28:34+00:00

Because you have the natural charisma for game or you don't. It's not really something you can learn.

ruddywaters · 2024-02-15T23:13:06+00:00

You don't need to know what to say, or do pre-encounter, you'll figure it out along the way...and you naturally navigate yourself to where ur trynna be, you just gotta trust yourself...you got the desire...with practice, comes more confidence, ppl who are already comfortable with the process you refer to as pros.

askforhelp24 · 2024-02-15T23:32:02+00:00

I posted this earlier but my post got deleted? Advice welcomed:

Messy divorce will be finalized soon. Wife had an affair and destroyed our lives. I was devastated for about a year but then started rebuilding.

Started hitting the gym 4 days a week. Great shape. I own a successful business. No problems with cold approach over the last few months. Things are pretty great.

I would however like to try out OLD once the divorce is finalized. I’m 40+ and would love to meet and have fun/travel/party with women in the 30-35 range. I’m not looking for anything serious but am not opposed to it if lightning strikes.

So do I input in my profile and say upfront I have kids? I can’t imagine many women that age would be interested in that kind of baggage when it’s easy to filter out. When I meet women this age in person though I mention it upfront and they’re pretty cool about it. I get dates that lead to more. But I could imagine online, having kids, I’d get filtered out?

And not mentioning it upfront does not represent high value IMO when it gets disclosed down the road (and it will).

So what’s the best approach? Disclose upfront and lose potentially great partners. Or disclose later and come across as deceitful/low value.

Thanks.

PrinceDestin · 2024-02-16T00:09:01+00:00

Game isn’t hard people just over complicate it I promise you, the least you try to game and focus more on just having a fun interesting chill conversation, you will be doing the game by automatically, if you just listen to a female talk she will do the work for you

Puzzleheaded-Cook116 · 2024-02-16T00:31:43+00:00

Cause you haven’t been doing it for 5-10 years of your life. You’ll be at your peak when you don’t even care for picking up women and know you can leave your house at anytime and find success running game

CharmingRejector · 2024-02-16T02:28:03+00:00

Are you delving into the good conversations, that just flow, because you have a connection? When you get those, do you ask her out?

rjones416 · 2024-02-16T02:48:09+00:00

You started a month ago? That's barely any time at all. You are actually doing great that you aren't afraid to talk to girls anymore. A lot of guys never get past that stage.

mynewd8nglife · 2024-02-16T03:48:37+00:00

Fuck dude, you're in college, got forever to learn this shit and have some fun. I'm 40, been gaming for 3 months; i wish i had youth on my side. It requires experience, not just knowledge. You already said you're doing better 1 month in and you've identified sticking points. Just keep trying to be a little better than yesterday. Focus on improving, not on specific outcomes.

Big_1Hoser · 2024-02-16T04:28:25+00:00

If it was easy, everyone could do it! Practice, practice, practice…

ArkhamResident · 2024-02-16T04:36:19+00:00

Ngl i wish i never learned it

9m2m · 2024-02-16T05:27:50+00:00

Stop caring a lot on only them. See if they'll fulfill you too

yolo24seven · 2024-02-16T06:38:40+00:00

One month is not a long time. The fact that you are not afraid to talk and show interest is great progress for only one month. Keep talking to girls, improve your fashion and get a cool hobby. Continually adjust as you see improvements. Maybe get a part time job as a club/bar promoter.

uniborn91 · 2024-02-16T09:05:11+00:00

it's not difficult.

your standards are too high, or your motivation to self-improve is too low

or both.

epimpstyle · 2024-02-16T10:28:12+00:00

Do you have a spy-cam and film the interaction?

Exotic_Pop_765 · 2024-02-16T10:50:45+00:00

First of all you won't solve all your issues with women in a month. Consider your progress to be huge so far and pat your self in the back a little bit. Second you need these failures cause these are going to drive home stuff that you now have to think about. Its this time distance between low value impulse, gamey thinking and gamey action that screams not only lack of authenticity but also that you "need the sex". Maybe its not that obvious that they know what is it that bothers them but its bad enough to give them the sense that something is off with you. So try to inject authenticity into your game. Be more bold instead of more "smooth" or "entertaining". Try to talk to chicks that you sense that a natural connection could be there. It doesnt have to love connection. You just have to belong to the same universe so to speak. And if you dont dont hide that either. This is your world your rules. Refrain from logical topics but other than that dont put any more pressure on your verbals. If you see a natural chatting up a girl he is the exact same with when he is chatting up guys. He wont create emotions only when he wants to get laid he is fun to chat up regardless of the occasion. The only thing that might be different is that he will phrase somewhat more diplomatically some stuff that guys wouldn't mind hearing and he won't talk about strictly guy subjects in general or anything info-based or super nerdy but other than that his conversations are NORMAL as fuck. The difference between him and you is the energy he puts behind. If i can describe the vibe somehow is that of a person who wants this conversation to happen and of a person that cares enough to make it happen even if this means he will have to navigate awkward moments, or that he will have to say something cliche and not impressive at all but he will do it because he knows its going to be useful and that its better than him sticking to his ego and not saying it because he is so special. This means good manners and other disgusting things, but in a way that communicates that he is very aware of what he is doing and that he does that in order for the other person to not have to experience the burden of being interesting.

These is all advice that you need mostly when introducing your self though. Once you see the girl putting effort let her do some work. Screen her for compatibility too. Be willing to walk away if she violates your boundaries somehow or if she doesnt qualify as attractive enough and such things...

Shadow__Account · 2024-02-16T12:06:16+00:00

It’s not difficult it’s actually just being if you are a let’s say balanced healthy male. The problem is most of us got so fucked up and got so many issues just being normal and healthy is what seems to be so difficult.

gusolsen · 2024-02-16T12:12:33+00:00

If it was easy, everyone would do it.

All things that are of some value in life require effort - it's how it should be

unevendopamine2 · 2024-02-16T13:45:48+00:00

It’s not if you remove emotion.

But that will turn you into a savage. You’re trying to use game to find love… it will destroy you

YYZYYC · 2024-02-16T13:52:59+00:00

Probably because you use the terminology “game” 🤷‍♂️

Smaxx25 · 2024-02-16T15:09:44+00:00

This is probably not great advice but for me whenever I gave up on the game and truly didn’t care about women and just went out to have a good time with friends etc is when I started to actually attract a lot of hot women.

inawlaah · 2024-02-16T15:36:37+00:00

we make it difficult

Hardbarka · 2024-02-16T18:08:55+00:00

Get a fucking hobby and your own thing going for the love of god. Its that simple. Your whole life seem to be revolving around getting laid

Morpheus987 · 2024-02-16T19:16:55+00:00

It’s not. Last night I saw a 10/10 stunner walk into the pool hall with this 6’3 caramel complexion guy. This girl has long curly hair, mixed blk/white, freckles, gold nose ring, 5’3”. Just Michael Jackson bad. I mean, I got my Canada Goose on. True Religion. I’m a decent looking guy. So my buddy dares me to go ask her if the guy she’s with is her brother lmao. So I wait until the guy goes to the bathroom and I go say what’s up. I ask her who’s the scrub with you. She says it’s her “friend”! I’m like say less. I ask her what she does for work and she says she’s a nurse. I know a ton of nurses and practitioners so I tell her some career options and she’s just eating it up. But then her “friend” comes back from the bathroom. And we make out like bandits.

Chungus_Big_69 · 2024-02-16T19:36:35+00:00

I tried to be a player and failed, I just stopped caring and trying so hard, and have had great conversations and connection with women. I’m not gonna try too hard with “game” anymore because it’s gotten me no where - authenticity has gotten me further. I’m a geek, not a pick up artist, but I’ve found women that like what I’ve had to offer and women who like to get played, and I’d rather talk to the woman that likes what I have to offer

Chicagoj1563 · 2024-02-16T21:58:30+00:00

Your focused on results. That’s most likely part of the problem. The goal should be having fun, meeting people, improving yourself, and learning about social dynamics in terms of connecting with women.

Look at results as your social skills improving. Make the entire game fun. Be sure you are stretching yourself, pushing your comfort zone. If you don’t take any risks, nothing will change.

crtmammal · 2024-02-16T22:45:31+00:00

Unless you have severe autism, it really isn’t that hard with a little practice.

TheAmericanPericles · 2024-02-17T03:13:51+00:00

Does the sprinter who's practed for a few months get into the Olympics? The central core piece is having fun and not thinking about game when you're doing it. Just do it. That's it.

KCentz1 · 2024-02-17T05:05:59+00:00

Brother - it took me like 10 years, from a teenager on, to get really good at game. You’re a month in, take a breath, have a group chat that you can text all the times you blew it in, and know that you’re going to blow it 90% of the time at the start.

Takes a lot of time to be great at anything.

oneonenine911 · 2024-02-17T10:25:38+00:00

It's not game that is difficult, just the goalpost is always moving which is exhausting

Title	Why is game so difficult?
Author	Secure-Ear-6185
Upvotes	111
Comments	107
Date	February 15, 2024 8:18 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1arp15q/why_is_game_so_difficult/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-is-game-so-difficult.1427619 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427619

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