Would you prefer a relationship or having a bunch of casual sex with tons of women ?

Jmdaan · 2022-09-04T23:36:04+00:00

Relationship for sure. The ones who say casual never been in a good one

btcsantander · 2022-09-05T00:01:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Alecstocker · 2022-09-04T22:33:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

aceeb25 · 2022-09-05T01:54:44+00:00

Idk. I fucking love sex. At this point I'm sure it's an addiction. And I love women. All different kinds of women. I'm just a filthy whore

Ok_Help6220 · 2022-09-04T23:10:43+00:00

Me A relationship - background 16 months removed from a seven year relationship I have casual sex every day with multiple selections !!! Sounds great but no - I’m still heartbroken

TalkShit247 · 2022-09-04T22:26:56+00:00

I had a bunch of casuals with all kinds of women then i met my wife ..

Lonewolf_087 · 2022-09-05T01:01:00+00:00

Long term relationship any day of the week. I can just imagine getting attached to someone after sex which is super toxic so no way hookup crap is worth it. Kinda hard to separate the two things which is a wtf moment to me for people who think that is possible. Everyone gets attached romantically is what I'd like to believe. Besides who wants some bitter dude married to her coming after you lol. It's bad news. Some things are like yeah it would be better to just not get all mixed up in for pleasure only.

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-09-04T23:10:41+00:00

Both choices that you referred to come with issues. I would guess that where you are in your life would have an impact on how you feel. As many guys grow older, it isn't that sex isn't as important, but companionship becomes more important.

Alternative_Pin5925 · 2022-09-05T03:02:50+00:00

How about being in a relationship while having casual sex with tons of women? 😏

TAA180 · 2022-09-04T23:47:25+00:00

Done both. I want a relationship with the right woman. Emphasis on right

Edit: regular sex with 2-3 women would be great too actually. Probs better cuz you get the sex without the work

SmartPuppyy · 2022-09-04T23:42:51+00:00

A relationship.

Achmetan · 2022-09-05T00:13:59+00:00

I’d much rather have a relationship. That gives me something in my soul casual hookups can’t. Besides, I’d rather not have to be in the game all the time. Instead having my partner who I continue to earn and evolve with rather than never getting to know someone well.

CigarFrog · 2022-09-05T02:46:10+00:00

When I got into the game it was from a sexless Marriage/Relationship of 15 years. My initial intention was to make up for loss time and I did! But if I was completely honest, my pursuit was for the ideal mate! I didn't think it would happen in just a couple of years tho. My Wingman on the other hand retired about 10 years later with crazy numbers! But has also found the ideal mate for him!

ZenMachine

Every-Ladder-6101 · 2022-09-05T03:29:04+00:00

Probably casual sex for a number of years and then a relationship when I'm ready if I knew how to attract girls

Strange-Committee-55 · 2022-09-05T03:29:06+00:00

As a 20 year old I’m not looking to settle anytime soon so multiple. Maybe in 5 years I’ll think about committing to one girl

Vegetable-Mobile-430 · 2022-09-05T04:01:33+00:00

I used to be that guy who was like casual but now that I have a loving woman who takes care of me and I, her. I don't think I'll ever think of casual dating the same way. She's so sweet and does nice things for me

Fwaygofrom63rd · 2022-09-05T00:52:37+00:00

How about being married to multiple women? So it’s kinda like both worlds but not really.

I’m Muslim so I’m actually looking for my second wife now so obviously she won’t be some casual

SDdude81 · 2022-09-05T00:35:27+00:00

While it's not really realistic, I would love to have a semi-serious relationship with 2-3 girls at the same time.

I want to have some stability and security, but also I doubt that I can find a woman that can truly match my sex drive. What it basically comes down to is that I never want to be turned down for sex.

As much as people shit on the Morman's I can see a lot of great things in having sister wives. Aside from sex, it would be great to have different girlfriends for my hobbies, it's probably going to be very hard for me to find a woman who likes video games, anime and working out. It's more likely to find a fit girl and a nerd girl.

And if anybody asks, no I'm the only guy they can be with, yes double standard etc. My fantasy my rules.

iamanwithnoplan · 2022-09-04T23:39:38+00:00

I'm not an "r/seduction" contributor generally - perhaps being in my 30s, I am older than some...

The way people hook up nowadays in big cities is dating apps so I am surprised to see so many cold openers at the mall etc.

Anyway, to your question, particularly in view of dating apps, the answer is more complicated than one or the other. And when you are working, you have a limited amount of time for dating.

There are 2 primary issues. First is: what a "relationship" means. Second is: what's the level of fidelity / opportunity cost you're getting:

A "serious" relationship revolves around children (and as a precursor cohabitation and marriage) - most people in their early to mid 20s are not really focussed on this, but around 30 women accelerate to settle down in view of their biological clocks.
Often a relationship is simply politically correct nomenclature for a girl to introduce a guy without saying he's the dude I'm banging, instead he's my "boyfriend". There's a whole bunch of social stigma for women in particular being promiscuous.
So what you're often doing, and need to be careful about, is spinning your wheels with someone who views you like a new puppy, but will get tired of you as you develop into a dog, and increasingly aware you need to be walked, and fed etc. - obligations and responsibilities due in a relationship. i.e. treading water in an illusion.

The other question is re fidelity, people can be and often are deceitful, as conflicts of interests collide:

Men and women can come to the relationship on a spectrum - on the one side, they might be seeing other people and entirely uninterested in the other beyond a potential option in the future. Slightly further in, they may be interested in keeping the other around in an open relationship or f buddy. Further in, they may want exclusivity in order to lock the other person down, ensure their loyalty, keep up their interest, ensure they don't leave, whilst still continuing to play the field. Further in still, they may want complete exclusivity on their side, but may tolerate an open relationship or even infidelity on the other, and just want to keep the person in the picture. Then you have very strong motivations for mutual exclusivity.
However, even when there are strong motivations for exclusivity, these dissipate over time, and may have been linked to a lack of options in the first instance. For example, a girl that has put on 5lbs, and is going to do long distance in 6 months is not an attractive person to date, but when she comes back from long distance having lost 10lbs, she'll have more options and may slowly entertain those.

Unless you have control of your partner's phone and social media when you're not living together, you'll have very little idea as to the other person's fidelity - and such behaviour would be deemed as an invasion of privacy or controlling.

You only have a shot in hell of ascertaining it, in a "serious" relationship as defined above - with at least some cohabitation so you know where you're both sleeping every night.

The point of all this is relationships come and go. You can never get too comfortable. You can never wholly trust - everyone lies, everyone acts in their own interests. People who haven't had options, get options. People get annoyed and frustrated with their partners and cheat because they want to and then blame the person for forcing their hand. People are fickle. It's not to say you don't treat people with respect, or go on misogynistic forums or rants, but it's the nature of the game.

My personal approach is simply to indicate that I'm very busy, I have a busy job, I'm not looking for anything serious, I don't have time to be dating or seeing other people, so if they don't want to be exclusive, we don't have to be, but if they do, it's contingent on honesty and any detail comes out e.g. meeting up with an ex etc. and I haven't been told about it, then without any further conversation, argument or explanation, it's no longer exclusive and I will see who I want. I typically get some very loosely exclusive thing out of them, and continue to see who I want if I have time, and I find all girls f up on honesty. The girls over 28 tend to be like marriage interviews; girls under 25 are more interested in open relationships and sleeping around, no matter what they say.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-09-05T00:40:28+00:00

Casual. Being single is way more fun.

BUFFONISTHEGOAT1 · 2022-09-04T23:06:50+00:00

Relationship

gillmanblacklagooner · 2022-09-04T23:16:24+00:00

it depends: sex with tons of what women? in a relationship with which one?

motherseffinjones · 2022-09-05T02:32:34+00:00

Having been in a long term relationship and now currently sleeping with multiple women. Relationship, is the answer from my experience.

MiceSyndicate · 2022-09-04T23:46:28+00:00

I don't believe in relationships anymore, so tons of women for me please.

below298 · 2022-09-05T00:43:41+00:00

Relationship. A close bond with someone I love that is there for me when I’m down and vice versa matters to me most.

C111tla · 2022-09-04T23:03:40+00:00

Well, I don't know, that's about the dumbest thing I've ever heard...

Just kidding, I had to make that reference, props to anybody who gets it.

Albeit I do think it's a silly question. Of course the answer is a relationship.

Sea-Researcher-4747 · 2022-09-05T03:14:39+00:00

Interestingly I have lived a life where I don’t do relationships just a bunch of casual sex honestly casual sex ain’t it for me the risks out weights the momentary pleasures it gives. So I will prefer a relationship.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-09-05T05:18:28+00:00

1

I am just curious what most of you guys want In your dating life these days

Gentle reminder that an important focus of this subreddit is not public polling, but rather sorting out what you want and learning how to get it.

2

Would you prefer a relationship right now or just banging random chicks ?

This kind of thing also tends to invite the most non-constructive discourse as people inevitably start arguing about why their subjective taste is the only one anyone should have.

If nothing else, this kind of post leads to subsequent posts by people who want to continue evangelizing to advance their arguments beyond this post.

Which is all missing the point: people should be able to go for what they want, other people's opinions be damned.

Someone wants casual sex? Great! Go get it.

Someone wants a relationship? Great! Go get it.

samcrow · 2022-09-05T00:18:12+00:00

both. am i right fellas?

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-09-05T00:01:27+00:00

Nothing better then a pussy smorgasbord.

Connected_Boss · 2022-09-05T01:16:50+00:00

I just got out of an 11 year + relationship and i'm 30 ideally I want to have like 4-5 girlfriends at once tops that I just fuck and take on dates and treat well & then pick the one I want to marry and have children with in the next 2 years. That's my personal plan.

Hot_Jelly_6318 · 2022-09-04T23:16:57+00:00

I did some searching a long time ago, and that's how I realized what I want is a loving relationship, not just sex. I'm sure it's going to great (I haven't had sex yet), but I know what I want.

sweetLemon2001 · 2022-09-05T00:35:30+00:00

Would love to have a relationship and have a hookups the partner cant fined out about 🤣🤣😅

brianpusslicker · 2022-09-05T00:46:44+00:00

Just do like me have a relationship with a great wife and have a bunch of casual sex with tons of women with the wife and or have her watch I love both worlds when it comes to sex because I'm addicted

python834 · 2022-09-05T01:19:17+00:00

Both.

Sometimes there are girls so hot that you feel the need to bust a nut inside of them, but at the end of the night, you return home to the girl you love.

kalebdanig · 2022-09-05T02:34:33+00:00

Relationship with 5 women

TreyK0 · 2022-09-04T23:47:29+00:00

So my take on this is that I try to be a healthy middle ground. I grew up with very traditional values so I followed the motto "Work first and the girls will come after" but that all backfired when I was in my junior year of college because in the end I had no interpersonal skills.

I strongly believe there is such a thing called a "hoe phase" where you're young and just want to have fun without any attachments while you figure yourself out.

Now for my answer to the question I would like a bunch of casual sex with a ton of women [initially] because of the experience gained that being how to approach someone, what to say, or learning new techniques in bed (or figuring out your strengths and limitations) are quite important.

However, ultimately the end goal is to settle down and have a relationship.

IamSus1 · 2022-09-04T23:58:49+00:00

Sex is way more better when there’s a connection! So ill take the relationship

samozleg · 2022-09-04T23:59:30+00:00

Relationship. Relationship can be both emotionally and sexually satisfying. Random women you don't connect with ain't it.

Edit: just wanted to add once I stopped watching porn I don't crave sex as much, so further on wanting relationships.

vorter · 2022-09-05T00:12:45+00:00

I’ve always preferred a relationship but never had one. Hooked up a bunch of high school and college and it was ok I guess.

poobobo · 2022-09-05T00:13:42+00:00

Yeah... I prefer a relationship

notforcurious · 2022-09-05T00:23:03+00:00

Relationships makes my life go backwards

EntertainerMaximum79 · 2022-09-05T00:32:40+00:00

Casual sex, relationships are way too much stress

DispatchVan · 2022-09-05T00:35:27+00:00

Both

awesomeroy · 2022-09-05T01:14:11+00:00

im a softie, i just want one girl lol

ExxonDisney · 2022-09-05T01:22:12+00:00

I prefer lots of sex so I always tell any girl that wants a relationship that we will go out to pick up other girls for fun nights

throwawayvirginacct · 2022-09-05T01:22:33+00:00

Given the option to meet the love of my life and never have sex with another woman ever again. I wouldn't hesitate.

DarkKnight3192 · 2022-09-05T01:42:47+00:00

Casual.

It's way more fuj

GreatGrizzly · 2022-09-05T01:49:15+00:00

So many liars here.

marvis777 · 2022-09-05T01:49:49+00:00

I never had neither, so I’m fine with whichever

OkNefariousness9758 · 2022-09-05T01:53:56+00:00

You shouldn't get into a relationship if you don't plan on staying with her for a long time or having kids with her

But on the flip side, you shouldn't have a bunch of meaningless sex

It's your job to pick if she's good to play with or to stay with

TheThingsiLearned · 2022-09-05T02:03:19+00:00

Been married 23 years. I’m going to say casual sex.

KerryColo · 2022-09-05T02:05:46+00:00

One relationship

NoPensForSheila · 2022-09-05T02:07:55+00:00

I'd like to dive in to some casual right now, but I'd take a relationship too. I'm getting old and there's still vibes to try. A casual phase sounds appetizing. But it's never the entree.

LeaderOfWolves · 2022-09-05T02:12:38+00:00

OkagaBoi · 2022-09-05T02:23:08+00:00

Relationship for sure, but sometimes I am curious about the other life style. I’ve only been with one person for almost 10 years, and we ended up married. I know what’s better in the end though, im glad.

Perfect_War5446 · 2022-09-05T02:23:11+00:00

I ask myself this all the time

bigtitty_azn · 2022-09-05T02:37:55+00:00

Relationships definitely. It’s really nice having a companion and someone to talk to and make memories with.

ISH_MVK · 2022-09-05T02:44:07+00:00

Relationship easy. EVERYTHING means more and feels better

michelle961 · 2022-09-05T02:51:15+00:00

It depends on the age of the person and his stage in life, isn't it?

BVP1324 · 2022-09-05T02:57:21+00:00

I'd like to have random sex for awhile. Most of the last 20 years, I've been with only one woman but our relationship ended and I want to enjoy myself for now.

DontCallMeTopher · 2022-09-05T02:58:45+00:00

When I was in a relationship I wanted to be able to chase pussy. When I was single I wanted a solid girl to love. There is no solution, only compromises.

JXMMY11 · 2022-09-05T03:04:21+00:00

RELATIONSHIP

Skizznitt · 2022-09-05T03:07:42+00:00

Relationship 100%. The amount of passion with someone you learn about over time, ends up being far greater than with sex with strangers you barely know. Plus in a relationship done right, both parties get strengthened and are bettered.

BigBeardDaddyK · 2022-09-05T03:08:01+00:00

Rotation gang. Having 2-3 friends with benefits at a time is much more ideal. The benefits of staying single far outweigh a committed relationship.

Comfortable-Unit-897 · 2022-09-05T03:11:47+00:00

I want to have sex with one woman for the rest of my life. At this point, I truly do not care what social tag that comes under.

amb56 · 2022-09-05T03:19:30+00:00

Relationship man. The sex is way better and feeling actual love is awesome. OLD is exhausting, I need to find ways to start putting myself out there in person.

V-Future · 2022-09-05T03:25:33+00:00

Sex is like drugs... The first time is something unbelievable. After a while, it's harder to get high so you need something stronger every time. In the end, you become degenerate and you behave like a soulless addict trying to get high like at the beginning but now your dopamine receptors are fucked up and it's not fun anymore. But you keep trying to feel that rush again because you are a junkie.

IndependentDry8210 · 2022-09-05T03:26:00+00:00

What we want is irrelevant. If most women that are single in the west are high in entitlement and low in accountability and loyalty..and they are..ltr isn't realistic..regardless of the overwhelming claim of it's desirability by single women.

Appropriate_Ad3327 · 2022-09-05T03:28:04+00:00

Tons of women

MentalCelOmega · 2022-09-05T03:57:26+00:00

A relationship for sure. Sadly those are impossible to obtain nowadays.

Vulturo · 2022-09-05T03:57:32+00:00

The happiest and most comfortable I’ve been is after I got married. Sure, could have better sex with many more women but sure as hell wouldn’t trade that for what I have with my wife.

heavychugs81 · 2022-09-05T03:59:55+00:00

Multiple relationships 😐

ithinkoutloudtoo · 2022-09-05T04:14:58+00:00

A relationship. Random sex/hookups with random women never appealed to me.

pikecat · 2022-09-05T04:44:19+00:00

I love women. Meeting new ones is so addictive, it's so interesting, and hard to stop. I did the casual thing enough though.

A relationship is definitely better.

neko9696 · 2022-09-05T04:56:24+00:00

Casual all the way, some occupations makes it very difficult to make time for someone.

The_Entertainer217 · 2022-09-05T04:57:24+00:00

Multiple fwb, best of both worlds without the drawbacks of either

jtalwar · 2022-09-05T05:13:02+00:00

Relationship, I am in one and it’s the best thing which has happened.

N0rmNormis0n · 2022-09-05T05:14:18+00:00

I deeply value that connection with one woman. When it’s good it’s better than a hundred casual connections. That said, one of my best friends loves the freedom of the hundred over the depth of the one. Our conversations are amazing!

In the end I can admit that while valuing the depth of my relationship, I miss the freedom he enjoys. And he can admit that in the midst of his freedom, he pines to be truly known.

One of the great decisions in life

Mr_Throwaway2834 · 2022-09-05T05:14:43+00:00

Well maybe when I'm upto my 30s and a little over probably casual sex but it does really depend on how I look at this woman

Snoo-50617 · 2022-09-05T05:15:30+00:00

Well if I could have a different women everyday untill I get bored

junk112233 · 2022-09-05T05:16:43+00:00

Casual. Or single. Just out of a 3 year relationship and a 2 year relationship before that. For now I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.

for3sight_ · 2022-09-05T07:20:44+00:00

I don’t know what I want anymore

Expensive-Winter-362 · 2022-09-05T07:35:24+00:00

Casual relationships, because these hoes ain't loyal.

Title	Would you prefer a relationship or having a bunch of casual sex with tons of women ?
Author	andyyogurts
Upvotes	78
Comments	141
Date	September 4, 2022 10:19 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x5zh5t/would_you_prefer_a_relationship_or_having_a_bunch/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/would-you-prefer-a-relationship-or-having-a-bunch.1250590 https://theredarchive.com/post/1250590

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