Women who brag about their boyfriends/spouse online are red flags

AnonishCath · 2024-07-04T01:34:19+00:00

likely to be…narcissistic, anxious attachment, insecure, and obsessed with status

If it’s common, sure I could agree with this. The occasional post to share a lovely story about your spouse doesn’t come off as any of those things imo. Also men don’t get a lot of compliments, so it’s nice to see wives praising them online sometimes, don’t you think?

Willow-girl · 2024-07-04T02:00:25+00:00

The three upvotes I occasionally get here are evidence that I'm "obsessed with status." LMAO!

wouldbepandananny · 2024-07-04T03:01:09+00:00

She's bragging on her dude, not herself. Her dude may still be cool af. Whatever red flags you perceive her having are irrelevant if her point is she knows a cool ass dude. In fact, your post seems to have no purpose.

"Women who love the men in their life are red flags." Weird argument to make in my opinion.

DoubleFistBishh · 2024-07-04T01:38:07+00:00

I mean if she already has a partner I don't see why it matters if other dudes see her as a red flag.

AngeCruelle · 2024-07-04T00:57:45+00:00

An interesting piece that you don't really cover in your OP is that low relationship visibility is associated with avoidant partners in the first study, which you also don't want. The goal is a partner with secure attachment. I have definitely seen girls (and guys) hide their partner on social media since they were only weakly invested in the relationship and didn't think it would last. So if a girl isn't posting you that isn't necessarily a good sign.

SaBahRub · 2024-07-04T03:40:28+00:00

So are we damned if we do, damned if we don’t ?

obviousredflag · 2024-07-04T06:45:42+00:00

according to this new meta study, they are exhibiting a tendency towards being narcissistic as well. All traits that men have been complaining about being on the rise in women in the last few decades.

I'd also like to throw in that women VASTLY outnumber men who brag online according to the 2nd study.

This is not a meta study. The study does not say that women vastly outnumber men who brag online. THe study does NOT talk about narcissism at all, except that other studies have looked at self presentation and narcissism ( https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886916304032?via%3Dihub ) but even this study did not look at gendered differences.

Gender is significantly correlated with bragging in the sense that female users brag more than male users (𝑟=0.10, 𝑝<.001). This is consistent with the findings of previous studies related to self-presentation Sheldon (2013); Wang et al. (2021) and it can be explained by the fact that women show more interest in developing friendships online Holmes (2013), which can be accomplished by positive self-presentation.

Women who brag about their boyfriends/spouse online are red flags

We observe that male users mostly brag about their partners. On the other hand, female users prefer to brag with first person pronouns (e.g., my, me, i).

Obviously women who are overcompensating about their relationship are the ones who post the most, I guess this is sort of common sense, but here's a study to back it up.

"Avoidant individuals showed low desire for relationship visibility, whereas anxious individuals reported high desired visibility (Studies 1 and 2); "

massive red flags and men should seriously avoid these types of women.

Great, so we should avoid women who post about relationships and those who don't, because avoidant and anxious is equally undesirable for securely attached individuals.

You know who brags the most online? Young women! Now, do you want to tell us we should avoid dating young women because they might be anxiously attached?

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blebbyroo · 2024-07-04T00:48:30+00:00

On sites like fb? Yes avoid. I have two such friends who are honestly walking red flags (and so are the men they date) and each time they get into a new relationship my feed is flooded with pictures of them or stupid memes where they tag eachother in it - things like “ride or die” things about loyalty and love lol . And of course these relationships never last.

Sites like reddit where ins anon? I don’t think talking about a bf/gf/hisband/wife is bragging in the same way as above. I think people reference it since we don’t have the context of photos or more importantly in life connections to eachother which help convey someone’s relative ‘expertise’ or even knowledge on a subject so we have needy snippets of background info that is ‘relevant’ for the point we make. (General we as in all of us on reddit)

toasterchild · 2024-07-04T00:15:47+00:00

Avoiding insecure partners is generally great advice for everyone.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-07-04T16:36:33+00:00

Men when women say anything but praise about men online: 🤬 Men when women praise men online: 🤬

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2024-07-04T00:19:02+00:00

According to a Study, Couples Who Post a Lot About Themselves on Social Media Are Insecure

This is true for men and women

Fun-Medicine-5136 · 2024-07-04T00:34:15+00:00

I mean if my boyfriend/ husband did something nice for me i’d want to brag. I think people who are in love enjoy speaking highly and showing off their partners. not saying what you’re saying isn’t true just a different perspective:) sometimes things are just as surface level as “i love my man look at how great he is”

FatBaldNerd · 2024-07-04T00:37:14+00:00

...so you're saying you don't want your partner to be proud/brag about you?

januaryphilosopher · 2024-07-04T06:01:57+00:00

But they can only show this when they're already in a relationship, so how would men know who to avoid? And should men really be so picky they should rule out any partner who does anything even slightly associated with narcissism? I can't imagine breaking up with someone because they posted about us online a few more times than I'd like.

laydeefly · 2024-07-04T11:54:37+00:00

I like posting about my man and the fun we have as a couple on occasion. It is what it is!

KayRay1994 · 2024-07-04T00:42:37+00:00

I half agree, depends on what she’s bragging about. If she’s simply bragging about having a boyfriend or entirely focused on herself, then yes, if she’s displaying that she loves him and that she’s proud of him, then no. It goes down to the content of your post and your end goal of it, who’s the intended focus here? her? the relationship? her boyfriend? that all makes a difference

kongeriket · 2024-07-04T01:07:38+00:00

I would say yellow flag, honestly.

I'm married to a woman who shitposts relatively similarly to me. And her social media footprint is about the same as mine - that is to say, very low. I have Twitter, she doesn't. She still has Facebook, I deleted my account 3 years ago. She keeps it for some niche commentary and chat with her mom. We both shitpost on Reddit and 4chan.

Prior to being with her, I was with two gals in a row who posted a lot on social media (mind you, this was between 2005 and 2008 - so Facebook was a bigger thing then). One fit impeccably your description, the other really didn't at all. I would've married her if not for logistics.

I will say, though, that both men and women would be better served if they'd lower their social media footprint. Especially since social media today is far worse than it was 10 years ago or more.

Algorithmization of content is the main driver of the enshitification phenomenon. It's great for the companies that own the websites/apps, but it's an unmitigated disaster to the mental health of the users. And the youth are the most affected by this. My son won't be touching that anytime soon, that's for sure!

N-Zoth · 2024-07-04T00:08:03+00:00

Your last paragraph describes red pillers pretty well.

Downtown_Cat_1173 · 2024-07-04T00:15:01+00:00

I talk about my husband a lot on this board, mostly to reinforce the fact that redpillers lack any cred to prop up their ideas. They’re single failures giving advice to single failures. You shouldn’t be taking advice from people who fail.

On my Facebook feed, I don’t gush about my husband.

Expensive-Tea455 · 2024-07-05T07:02:23+00:00

Why should we give a damn about random males online seeing us as red flags?? Get out your feelings 😂

Wooshie_Pop · 2024-07-04T00:52:53+00:00

When most of them do this is it even worth pointing out? It’s in their nature at this point. The only ones who aren’t bragging are the ones complaining about something he did. How often do you see one not under this category?

relish5k · 2024-07-04T02:48:22+00:00

i think it’s more of a red flag that i participate in PPD then that i use it as a platform to gush about my wonderful husband

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Dense-Tell-6147 · 2024-07-04T00:38:07+00:00

It depends. Many ‘murrican women are shallow braggadocios and have the spasmodic need to insta every bit of their lives.

Some are so cretinously petty to do that for Schadenfreude, which you wouldn’t expect from normal people from a developed country, but alas, it just shows the riffraff they are at the end.

But in general, as “Any man who must say, ‘I am the King’ is no true King”, those who have to show off how happy they are, often do that more to convince themselves.

bluestjuice · 2024-07-04T00:43:40+00:00

I’m going to go with a solid ‘sometimes’ on this one.

Visual-Community-743 · 2024-07-04T06:58:47+00:00

Building a social media presence is not narcissism. In todays age it’s just a signal that you aren’t a loser if your younger than 30.

Like anything there is a spectrum and extreme behavior is a red flag

2024-07-04T00:38:59+00:00

It’s always the mid bitches

DannyBOI_LE · 2024-07-04T02:45:56+00:00

women who give out personal information online basically in anyway are red flags. exception for sex workers or working models.

CauliflowerElegant76 · 2024-07-04T00:45:42+00:00

I agree. Any couples who are too public about their relationship online seem a bit sus to me. Some people overshare a lot on their social media in an effort to show off and make others envious. There’s nothing wrong with posting pics with your partner occasionally, but people who post every date night or everything their partner does for them on social media are likely trying to show off.

Title	Women who brag about their boyfriends/spouse online are red flags
Author	Cunning_Linguists_
Upvotes	3
Comments	108
Date	July 4, 2024 12:03 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dut6j9/women_who_brag_about_their_boyfriendsspouse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-who-brag-about-their-boyfriendsspouse-online.1523188 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523188

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