Can men be hypergamous?

wub1234 · 2018-04-18T19:37:37+00:00

Men rarely, if ever, become attracted to a woman because she is of high status, or exhibits high status in a certain situation. Sometimes men wish to marry into their social class, but (a) they don't actively seek someone of much higher status, and (b) this has nothing to do with attraction.

Conversely, many women (I would assert virtually all) will find status compelling to some extent. An analogy that sums it up is that George Clooney is much more exciting to women in his current context. He would be less exciting if he was a struggling actor. And he would be considerably less exciting if he worked at McDonald's, but still had exactly the same physical characteristics. By contrast, Angelina Jolie doesn't become more attractive to men because she's famous, she just is attractive. In fact, it would be much better if she wasn't as famous and successful as she is, as then we'd have more of a shot.

It's absolutely bemusing to me that people continue to either not understand this, or deny it.

Five_Decades · 2018-04-18T20:09:24+00:00

Men tend to pursue women's whose appearance is higher in value than their own. A lot of guys who are 3s and 4s chase women who are 7s and 8s.

Littleknownfacts · 2018-04-18T19:32:52+00:00

Also, the red pill says that alphas are happiest when dating multiple women. Isn't that a form of hypergamy?

No, that's polygamy.

Men are naturally polygamous, they want to collect all the women, even girls that aren't so great. However, men are culturally under pressure to be monogamous, and so men, are hypergamous when selecting wives - who wouldn't be? If you can only have one woman to run your shit and raise your heirs and whatnot, of course he's going to pick the best one he can get. However, in terms of mating strategies, she's just the bottom bitch and the other girls are just nameless henchmen.

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-04-18T19:32:26+00:00

AFAIK, hypergamy is a form of monogamy. So no, plating multiple women is not a hypergamous action.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-04-18T19:40:07+00:00

LewisCross · 2018-04-18T22:00:36+00:00

No. I've explained this several times.

Hypergamy means "attracted only to those above me in attractiveness" and "want and need the best I can get at any given time, depending on the purposes I need and expect at that given time".

Men are not attracted only to those women who are above them in attractiveness. Women are. Women cannot be attracted to a man who's at her level. She can be only WILLING to have sex with him, if and only if he first brings and offers provisioning. She will never be attracted to a man beneath her in attractiveness, even if he does offer provisioning. Women are the only ones who engage in this kind of attraction analysis and assessment. Men don't do that.

For men, there is only "want to fuck, hell yeah" and "will not fuck even if you were the last woman on earth". And the women in that "want to fuck, hell yeah" range are above him, at his level, and some beneath him.

orcscorper · 2018-04-18T23:37:00+00:00

Yes, we can. Men can be hypergamous, as women can be polygamous. It's not as common as the reverse, but it is entirely possible.

daveofmars · 2018-04-19T00:35:59+00:00

No. Men aren't hypergamous, we're polygamous. We don't typically swing up to one partner and abandon the other; we try to get multiple partners in a harem. Women don't have harems. Biologically, it doesn't make sense for them to have multiple men if they can only get pregnant by one of them.

Extreme hypergamy in a woman means she will divorce her husband for someone better looking or richer. While extreme polygamy in a man means he will have a wife, and a girlfriend, and a mistress, and a booty call, while maybe fucking his secretary, but that man wouldn't divorce his wife for the secretary. Biologically, men can get multiple women pregnant at the same time, so it doesn't make sense to give up on one for another.

Entropy-7 · 2018-04-19T14:13:46+00:00

Men generally seek quantity over quality. They don't "trade up" but rather trade left, right or sideways to get their dick wet again.

Men are not "hypergamous" in the dictionary definition because they don't seek out women with a higher SES. AFAIK, they don't branch swing on that basis either.

What men will do is dump an older woman for a younger one. You lose something in the process and yet gain so much more, and we term it "changing a 50 for two 20s".

"Hypergamy" has some rather specific definitions in lay terms and TRP and I think you need a new word to define what guys do.

I mean, I have been doing the whole "half-plus-7" thing from when I was an 18 year old dating a 16 year old until being 50 and marrying a 32 year old. "Hypergamy" does not describe the fact that my love bunnies, in sequence, have aged half as fast as I do.

changeIsTheWay · 2018-04-18T19:31:15+00:00

Of course men are

Callandoro · 2018-04-18T19:50:56+00:00

No. Men are distinctly not hypergamous (“happy when they have one awesome partner who is higher status than them,”) rather men are polygamous (“happy when they have many partners, regardless of those partners status”)

mittenmaster00 · 2018-04-18T20:04:47+00:00

Yes, it's just not really going to work out.

An incel who only looks at cute or pretty college girls is being hypergamous. He is shooting far above his actual range of women.

jkj543 · 2018-04-18T20:34:50+00:00

Based on the comments, men are hypergamous based on looks while women are hypergamous based on wealth or status.

Jcart105 · 2018-04-18T19:53:51+00:00

The only way men can act in a way that is equivalent to female hypergamy is thoroughly outlawed in the West. They've even outlawed it to the point where there doesn't even have to be evidence of an incidence of this act occurring.

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crackrocksteady7 · 2018-04-18T20:34:38+00:00

I'm sure most women here would consider finding a girl that puts as much into the relationship as an average man to be dating up

newName543456 · 2018-04-18T22:39:10+00:00

Theoretically they can, but it's usually not in one's best interest to do so.

prodigy2throw · 2018-04-19T03:57:06+00:00

It’s not in our genetic makeup to be hypergamous. The reason being is that men can have multiple offspring with multiple women all the time. Survival of our offspring is meant to be a numbers game not a quality game

Cearball · 2018-04-19T05:58:36+00:00

If I was looking for a women to help raise a child it wouldn't be my SO.

Doesn't make enough money. Harsh but true

[deleted] · 2018-04-19T16:38:15+00:00

Men are only interested in the biological reality of the woman. They like a woman if she's pretty, but it doesn't matter if she's popular so much. They like a woman if she's smart, but her career is largely irrelevant and so are the schools she went to.

Priene · 2018-04-19T22:37:51+00:00

Women aren't hypergamous but men certainly are. I'm only attracted to women who are 10 to 15 years younger than me, regardless of how attractive the women close to my age are. I've met women who were older than me by 10 years when I was 25 that were as good-looking and as fit as an attractive 22 year old woman, but I would always go for the younger woman. As I still do. I fear growing old like obese men fear becoming the beta bux provider of the women they want to bang for free.

I'm very shallow and narcissistic and I am drawn to women like myself. I've had opportunities to have enjoyable long-term relationships with women who were attractive and had a personality made for relationships, but I would always go for the slutty skank that wasn't interested in having anything to do with me other than sex.

> I guess when i mean hypergamous, I'm including all factors of attraction including: looks, status, wealth, education, etc.

What? My dick doesn't get hard for money, status, or education. Why would it? That makes no sense.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2018-04-20T02:00:48+00:00

Hypergamy is not quite the same thing for men. A woman's "class" means almost nothing to a man. No man really cares whether his girl is a doctor or a retail sales associate.

However, if a woman is a software developer and she finds herself dating a retail salesman she will probably be embarrassed of his status in comparison to hers.

If you define a woman's "class" as her youth and beauty, then yes, all men are hypergamous. But hypergamy is in reference to a social standing, not looks. Hypergamy insinuates that women are attracted to men who they perceive to be more powerful. I'm sure Mark Zuckerberg could have any woman he wants, but when you look at the guy he looks and behaves like an android. Then you look at a woman like Opra, and there's really no man who looks at Opra and thinks "Wow I wish I had her" even though she is an incredibly kind woman with a giving heart and a load of personality. She's simply not pretty, young, or slim.

The crux of hypergamy is that a man's personality, looks, and even kindness toward the woman are virtually worthless in the face of status and wealth.

Noxin__Nixon · 2018-04-18T22:57:21+00:00

Absolutley. I've known many men who were hypergamous

Title	Can men be hypergamous?
Author	jkj543
Upvotes	13
Comments	203
Date	April 18, 2018 7:24 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8d8dss/can_men_be_hypergamous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/can-men-be-hypergamous.262835 https://theredarchive.com/post/262835

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