Got in a huge debate with someone on an alt about how telling men that they need to learn to be emotional with each other, while appearing to be good advice in a feminist mindset, really does not take into account male lived experiences most of the time. I swear people think "expressing feelings" is just a switch men are too stubborn to consider flipping, not an actual social issue that will destroy your worth in society if you go out of line. Anyways, I digress.

Most of the discussion ended up hinging on her belief that it's not women's fault men aren't emotional with each other and that it was an issue that men and only men were responsible for fixing.

And that's about the dumbest argument that I can think of, but she used it again and again and again. "It's men who did this, it's men who have the power, they just need to change!"

And rebutting that shit is hard because they motte and bailey it back and forth. But ultimately, I feel like there is a rebuke for these sorts of things - masculinity as a social construct.

I mean, it's not like men define what masculinity is. It's not like women define it either. But obviously, as a society, we have certain gendered standards for men, and to work, they have to be socially upheld. Basically, men don't have sole latitude on what it means to be a man, so how can an issue defined by masculinity be only the responsibility of men to fix? If everyone plays a part in defining what a man is, then everyone should play a part and bear responsibility if they want manhood to change.