Why is MensLib so bad

peanutbutterjams · 2021-11-02T22:59:39+00:00

In the current Kabuki Theatre that we call gender discussion, the role of the man is to wear the mask of Sorrow and Remorse. Anything affecting him must come second as he bows and scrapes, each time acknowledging his privilege, his role as oppressor, and his toxicity.

DeepFriedWine · 2021-11-03T01:36:43+00:00

It's a feminist forum to gaslight men.

Forgetaboutthelonely · 2021-11-02T21:24:19+00:00

The simple answer is that menslib is feminism first, men maybe.

You can see on the subreddit overlap what the most common communities users of the sub post on are. And it's really telling.

https://subredditstats.com/subreddit-user-overlaps/menslib

We actually have a section in our mission statement regarding them (though I understand a lot of people won't have read it) And I welcome people to suggest additions or alterations to it.

They've often lied to downplay male issues, particularly false rape accusations which they claim are less prevalent than being struck by lightning. They also censored anyone who debunked those lies.
Though there are many things you're not allowed to debate on MensLib, one thing they do consider up for debate is whether "ironic" "cathartic" misandrist memes are okay. The answer should be obvious, particularly when MensLib constantly tells men to call out misogynist jokes.
They censored an article calling out a double-bind that feminism places on men.
They even tried to censor the news about Amber Heard being caught on tape confessing to violence against Johnny Depp (though they eventually allowed some limited discussion of it).
See here for some examples of very reasonable comments deleted by the MensLib mods.
They tend to make demonizing generalizations about other male advocates who they disagree with.
Apparently they once banned a male rape victim because he was angry at a feminist organization for not helping him. (I don't have an original source for this one, but here a moderator defended it as an isolated incident.)
Here's a link to the creator denying misandry exists.
And their thoughts on how men are trash.
They have some pretty racist and misandrist views on Indian men
To add further context to the point above, when an Indian man made a complaint about being unfairly stereotyped, he was essentially told to "fix the rape problem" in his culture and that his post was "unhelpful and also kind of selfish," because: "You're getting stereotyped. Women are afraid for their actual lives."
They hosted an AMA for a man who outright denied that male victims of domestic violence exist. With the goal of lecturing men on how terrible they are

matrixislife · 2021-11-02T22:22:37+00:00

It's controlled opposition.
They are there so that feminists can point to them and say "look, we take men's opinions into account". Yet the mods make sure that those opinions don't get out of control, or contradict anything that feminists claim.

TheRabbitTunnel · 2021-11-02T21:50:28+00:00

Menslib is a feminist sub. Its kind of like Controlled Opposition, except instead of it being a conspiracy, its just self hating men. Feminists always reference menslib when people ask for a good mens rights sub. They say its basically the only good mens sub. Thats why Id call it controlled opposition, but again without the conspiracy factor.

comfy_cure · 2021-11-03T03:14:54+00:00

I think it's underrated how incredibly creepy and abusive Menslib is. A normal person dedicates their time and energy to things they care about, either negatively or positively. It's very sociopathic, in my view, to dedicate years of your life *pretending* to be dedicated to something you actually hate.

TheLWMA · 2021-11-02T21:47:26+00:00

They're a shifty bunch, that's for sure. Cesspool of misandrists, narcissists, and psychopaths.

JonWood007 · 2021-11-03T05:42:01+00:00

Because it's a forum thats essentially in support of feminism and doesnt allow even mild criticism of feminism. Theyre basically the same "religion" so to speak as the people who are causing the problems on the left.

I got modded once for something light and i was like "screw this im out of here." I wanted a sub, ya know, like this, where we can SANELY talk about these issues without either being obnoxiously SJW OR toxically incel, and that obviously wasn't it.

a-man-from-earth · 2021-11-02T22:52:22+00:00

This topic comes up fairly often...

danmilligan · 2021-11-03T00:45:57+00:00

On that last point, they may have hosted the Duluth model guy, but they roundly criticized him and the mods for even bringing him on. He got no play over there.

Imaginary-Sense3733 · 2021-11-03T02:15:28+00:00

I came directly from menslib to here after someone complained about this sub on there. I think it's main issue is that the mods there are truly excellent at their job; that is to control discourse and enforce their extremely punitive and harsh view of men as a gender. That being said I truly do think there's hope for the userbase. Almost everything I've posted on a huge variety of issues has received upvotes and positive attention. I've posted about my experiences engaging with and trying to help incels and got lots of engagement and curiosity, which is really impressive considering the expected feminist takes on that issue, and the userbase took the mods by suprise by actively resisting their attempts to impose both misandrist views on domestic violence and truly abhorrent racism against our South Asian comrades.

There's good people there who are being hurt by an environment fostered by careful restrictions on the subjects allowed to be discussed, and it's my fervent hope that one day we can reach these people and show them a better way to organise, as men and as comrades.

hendrixski · 2021-11-02T22:37:07+00:00

I want to like that sub because I feel there's a need for discussing men's issues without blaming feminism for everything.

I can't like that sub because your experience is not unique. it's got potential but it's just... bad.

publicdefecation · 2021-11-02T21:49:33+00:00

Think of MensLib as a space for "woke-friendly" men. There are a few unspoken tenants of this new male identity that you may have violated without your knowledge. My guess is that there was something in your post that implied that owning male anatomy implies that you're a man which would offend trans-men and their identity. You have to remember that in these spaces the feelings of trans men is more important than your perspective or issues regarding the health of your body parts but they're also not going to point that out because it would imply that trans men have privilege somewhere which is also counter to their political identity as a victim.

gijackedi7 · 2021-11-03T20:47:40+00:00

Same goes with any comment saying that no matter what topic it is, women have it worse.

Victim mentality. The one who "has it worse" wins the Oppression Olympics and therefore is better.

Skirt_Douglas · 2021-11-04T15:51:31+00:00

Short answers: Menslib is a feminist controlled conversation. They want it to be men’s only space to talk about their issues so they can steer the conversation toward a feminist narrative (X is caused by toxic masculinity, men create their own problems, and so on)

Menslib is not there to help, it is there to control what you say, think, and keep you off subs like this one.

That’s why it’s so bad, because it’s only designed to be good for feminism.

CAVFIFTEEN · 2021-11-30T01:58:09+00:00

I had a similar thing when asking how to address the notion that feminism is misandry. Got banned because "it didn't relate to mens issues" and I put a link for context of a discussion I was having in r/trueunpopularopinions. I understand the link issue but "doesn't relate to mens issues" After I got banned I started going through that mod's posts and history. They have a pattern of deleting a ton of posts valid to that forum and I think are greatly hurting the community. This sub seems like a much better place and I just now joined because of it.

Thanks for calling this out. I felt so bad and lost like I couldn't find or discuss this shit and you're right, along with these commenters. They seem to be the kinda male feminists that hurt things for everyone. Like the "white guilt" people only for men.

Phantombiceps · 2021-11-03T04:40:56+00:00

Same reason that the Alabama Phrenology Institute’s 1935 conference on black social issues was such a letdown

vhisic · 2021-11-04T09:02:07+00:00

about movember and the importance of checking your testicles and Prostate 3 times

Just wanna say thanks for trying. My Dad was diagnosed a few weeks ago with prostate cancer, hes never checked, didnt know to check and never taught me to check, luckily my school covered that for me. Its an important message to put out there.

Leinadro · 2021-11-04T14:32:25+00:00

Because MensLib is little more than the tiny bit of support for men that feminism grants permission to exist. If there is every anything that looks like conflict between "Defend feminism" and "Support men" that place will pick "Defend feminism" EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

tittltattl · 2021-11-03T02:26:29+00:00

I find it confusing that people here seem to think that everyone over in menslib are woke, self-hating men, or else they must be women. But when I look at the recent hot posts, they seem to be discussing Dave Chappelle, shedding light on myths about male rape that silence male victims, and talking about how strict gender roles impact those of us who are asexual. Does finding those discussions interesting make me a self-hater? Are normal, self-respecting men not capable of having those discussions? Does it have to be only self-haters and women who can discuss those topics? I'm genuinely confused and surprised by how vitriolic some of the users here are against a sub that's so moderate and careful not to offend.

Edit: one thing that I do appreciate about menslib is that people engage in discussions rather than silent downvoting. They have good engagement in their community and I would love to be able to see that here. You are more than welcome to disagree with my comments and you are always welcome to drop a comment discussing how and why :)

Chinshu396 · 2021-11-23T17:42:07+00:00

Menslib becomes a useless space because they truly aren’t talking about anything. When your constantly inclusive of every viewpoint your not being as authentic to how you feel, or can give new insight into a particular discussion. I do like that they really do open the door to discuss mental health Tuesday’s.

a-man-from-earth · 2021-11-03T04:52:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Why is MensLib so bad
Author	ClearedToPrecontact
Upvotes	242
Comments	121
Date	November 2, 2021 9:08 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/qle9xa/why_is_menslib_so_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/why-is-menslib-so-bad.1080346 https://theredarchive.com/post/1080346

Comments