Hello ladies,

At the risk of sounding conceited, I can say with a certain confidence that I have a really good education. I'm currently working on my PhD somewhere in the area of finance, law, and economics- I'd rather not be too specific online. In my little specialised corner of academia, I'm considered a young one to watch- I have given talks, published a bit, worked on some larger publications with/for professors, participated in competitions, taught a class or two. The works.

I'm about to turn 24. My PhD will be wrapped up in a year. I'm ready to take dating more seriously and establish a life with someone.

I've tried to put more energy into dating over the past few months, and I have the impression that a lot of men are put off by my education. I had this honestly hilarious scene with a dude who chatted me up at an event last week- he was smart and funny and good-looking, and we had a great conversation about art for almost an hour, until we moved onto more personal stuff. He asked what I did for a living, I mentioned I was working on my PhD and researching at Insert Well-Known Large Institute In My Country and he literally went 'Jeez, I only have a master's!' and let the conversation falter within minutes.

I'm conventionally attractive, which means a lot of men are interested in me initially. I'm a good conversationalist, so their interest is usually sustained for a while. But very often, I've made the experience that their interest falters when, after an hour or two, I reveal my dirty secret: That I have a degree more than them, or maybe work in a higher-paying field, or know more about a subject.

Obviously, these men are LVM. They are not to be entertained. I'm glad the trash takes itself out. However, I'm at loss at how to find HVM who aren't so bloody intimidated by everything I do. I don't want to date in my field, as I consider that unprofessional given its small size. That means that I have to find 'external' men, which is just a hassle and I worry that I won't ever be able to invest enough time into hanging around art museums in order to find some culturally interested dude who isn't also in my field. I am in one of the highest-paying fields there is, period, so even outside of my field, I have this issue of men being intimidated by making less money than I do. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad.

I'd really like some encouragement and practical advice from other women in similar situations. Where did you meet your partners? How did you approach things like earning potential, intimidation, needing a partner who can keep up? Did you marry men who make less money than you? What criteria did you look for to determine who would be supportive?

And most importantly: How did you deal with the honestly somewhat soul-crushing realisation that a lot of men don't like you because of the very work you love?