What do women think of a girl who is always dating tons of guys but never picks one and complains about being lonely?

wtknight · 2022-08-24T15:29:51+00:00

OP, please make a small edit to the post in order to bring up the AutoModerator.

2022-08-24T15:02:35+00:00

She needs to take a break. Spend time working on herself. Figure out why she feels the need to go on so many dates to begin with. Sounds like she's forcing it. Is she really looking for a relationship? Or does she just have such terrible self-esteem she can't stand to spend 5 minutes alone.

toasterchild · 2022-08-24T15:29:31+00:00

She probably has some sort of emotional problems she's not dealing with, it's really not that uncommon.

zzzamorak_ · 2022-08-24T15:12:49+00:00

She’s clearly got the options. At some point don’t you just have to pick a person and stop waiting for someone “perfect”.

I read a study the other day (it might have been linked through here, not sure).

Two groups of participants were given ice cream to taste; the first group was given three different flavours, whereas the second group was told they would be testing 50 flavours.

The group that was testing 50 flavours was far less likely to describe a flavour as being good, and their rationale was that "there are so many flavours to choose from, it's likely that the next one will taste better."

This is the same thing that is happening in modern dating.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-08-24T15:17:09+00:00

a date everyday of the week is a lot in my opinion, she could probably treat it less like speed dating

but sometimes you have lots of options and no spark. sure, still way better than no options and no spark, but it can still suck.

Bekiala · 2022-08-24T15:26:44+00:00

Yeah, the cure for loneliness sure isn't dating nor togetherness. Often being with people who don't care about you, make you lonelier. Weird how this is.

I never found a partner but dated a guy when I was young. I have never been as lonely as when I was with him.

I probably wouldn't give this lady any advice but would want to hear what she is experiencing and thinking about herself and life right now.

TMac0601 · 2022-08-24T15:01:35+00:00

Maybe she shouldn't go on a date with every guy who asks her out? Choose only 1 or 2 per week that she is VERY interested in. Spend more time developing her own interests and she won't focus so much on defining her happiness based on having our not having a partner.

AnOddTree · 2022-08-24T15:39:48+00:00

I feel the same way about her that I feel about people who take the opposite path.... the 18yo who got married right out of high-school and discovered that the married life is not what she really wanted. .....

They will figure it out. When people complain about sleeping in the bed they made, I take it as them needing to vent more than looking for advice. They will either figure it out or they won't. If it really bothers you then spend less time with that person.

Ok_Cryptographer6856 · 2022-08-24T15:33:29+00:00

Wonder how many of those dates she paid for

GottaPSoBad · 2022-08-24T21:06:30+00:00

Sounds a weird girl and an outlier/strawman as a post topic. Most women don't behave like this.

Oli_love90 · 2022-08-24T14:56:52+00:00

This doesn’t necessarily mean she has decision anxiety. It most likely means she hasn’t connected with these guys she’s going on dates with. Getting to know a ton of people at once but not really forming any type of connection is incredibly lonely.

Imagine only meeting with random strangers throughout the week for a couple hours, never getting to know them and not being able to be yourself? That would make me lonely.

yayayubsea · 2022-08-24T15:40:43+00:00

It depends how she goes about it. If she is dating with intent to get in a committed relationship, she could just know what she wants and not want to waste her time or anyone else’s by spending more time with said person. But if she’s dating just because, not really trying to get to know these guys, then yeah I’d say yeah she’s either got too high of standards or is looking for a good time but doesn’t want to come out and say it. Because if she met a guy who was as perfect as she’s looking for, she would be serious with him

gofigure62 · 2022-08-24T18:14:40+00:00

Depends, lots of choices doesn't mean realistic options. There's a difference between someone knowing that most people aren't going to be a good fit for them, vs. someone who has attachment issues purposefully pushing away people who would be a great fit for them individually.

That's like a person with a peanut allergy having the option to eat tons of peanut meals, snacks and desserts.

Or

It's like a starving person sitting outside a free open buffet because they can't see the door.

Two completely different circumstances, with different issues.

I grew up in a trailer park and according to PPD the men who chased me in my home town were "perfect" options just because there were many of them. That's not how relationships work. It's not about choosing "A" person, it's about choosing the right person for the specific individual.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-08-25T05:53:43+00:00

Never encountered a woman like this.

Jarxius · 2022-08-24T14:54:33+00:00

Omg my friend is the exactly the same. It’s up to her, it is annoying to hear her complain but I can’t force her to date anyone she doesn’t want to

sarkington · 2022-08-24T15:12:43+00:00

We think the same things that guys do about their male friends who do dumb things and then complain about it, obviously

And most of the time you can’t do anything about it

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-08-24T15:32:31+00:00

I relate to this woman you have described. I’m not going on a ton of dates however I can. I have options. The issue is I want to feel a natural connection with someone. I’ve been able to find that connection in person on multiple occasions. However, I’ve never found it on OLD. OLD always seems forced and I’m going to guess your friend is on OLD based on her ability to date so frequently.

Her best bet is to go into environments with people that have similar interest as her and look cute in those environments. I would also suggest she just be patient. I feel like biological clocks get women stressed and I understand that as well. But being with someone especially for life is a serious decision. It should be with the right person.

LimpetMinecrafter · 2022-08-24T15:34:28+00:00

Yet another dude with the emotional intelligence of a rock who doesn't understand concepts of middling complexity like "She hasnt connected with the guys she goes on dates with"

attendquoi · 2022-08-24T15:46:47+00:00

My retort is the same as when a guy complains that he's lonely AND can't get any dates. Friends cure loneliness.

ruboyuri · 2022-08-24T14:58:50+00:00

The same thing you guys think of a male friend who does the same thing

Ok-Map-7596 · 2022-08-24T15:18:17+00:00

I don't think about them.

2022-08-24T16:26:39+00:00

Not my circus, not my monkey.

Stop_Maximum · 2022-08-24T16:32:56+00:00

I mean in my opinion her feelings can be valid just because I don’t think she is lonely, doesn’t mean she isn’t. Also, going on dates with tons of guys/girls doesn’t mean anything, it’s the outcome of the dates that matters. Maybe the people she went on a date are not exactly what she wants. I would just suggest her to think exactly about what she wants, and maybe go for it. Nothing is stopping her from going out with people while figuring out

mary_reibey · 2022-08-24T16:51:30+00:00

It's totally ok to go on tons of dates and still not like any of them. When she's saying she's lonely, that still doesn't mean she's wants to settle for any of the 4 guys she's met up with this week. It means she wants to feel loved and cared for by someone really special, which tbh as her friend you should be all for even if it feels a bit unrealistic. Keep encouraging her to look for someone that makes her happy, rather than wasting time on someone that she doesnt truly like.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-08-24T17:30:20+00:00

if i had a friend that was always complaining they wouldnt be my friend anymore

tinasnow-poty · 2022-08-24T17:35:55+00:00

Lmao me 😭 I’m not looking for someone perfect but someone I’m compatible with. They don’t have to be perfect just someone I can be 100% myself around :)

Also you’re assuming all the guys she’s meeting like her back and/or are looking for the same thing she is, Which isn’t always the case. Every single day is excessive though, she needs to filter better

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-08-24T17:42:27+00:00

You should never ever just pick someone for the sake of picking someone.

neetykeeno · 2022-08-24T18:23:27+00:00

That's the sort of dating pattern that people who were told very firmly to want one thing but really want another totally different and somewhat incongruous thing have. I avoided it basically by accepting that my father was consistently going to lose his shit about my unwillingness to get with conservative guys. My sister avoided it by finding a very socially skilled man who took over managing my father's perceptions of them totally basically by behaving in misleading ways. If either of us had decided to deal with it by just keeping looking rather than choosing what sacrifice to make, well that's what happens...one guy after another, rejected fairly swiftly.

Peacesquad · 2022-08-24T18:27:44+00:00

That’s a good question

todo_pasa_ · 2022-08-24T18:36:32+00:00

Her problem isn't in meeting new people but connecting with them and that can only be solved by therapy

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-08-24T19:03:46+00:00

They need to slow down. Do some soul searching. Figure out how to be happy on their own before going out to the dating market again

Express-Fig-5168 · 2022-08-25T02:03:32+00:00

I don't think anything, sometimes it is like that. 🤷🏽‍♀️ You can't force compatibility.

singdontcry · 2022-08-25T19:37:36+00:00

Maybe all her dates were shit

singdontcry · 2022-08-25T19:37:46+00:00

Maybe all her dates were shit

SuspiciousMaximum856 · 2022-08-25T23:14:57+00:00

How many times has she turned you down?

Hefty-Wolverine3675 · 2022-08-27T03:15:22+00:00

Most women are flooded with male validation so I feel like this post would apply to more than a minority of women

Title	What do women think of a girl who is always dating tons of guys but never picks one and complains about being lonely?
Author	Necessary_Warthog122
Upvotes	27
Comments	67
Date	August 24, 2022 1:49 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wwk2v2/what_do_women_think_of_a_girl_who_is_always/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-women-think-of-a-girl-who-is-always-dating.1129545 https://theredarchive.com/post/1129545

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