CMV: a woman telling a man he's handsome isn't really an indicator that she's interested in him

Rhubarb_Fair · 2022-09-25T08:25:02+00:00

Yes.

If a man finds a woman "hot" it seems to universally mean that he wants to fuck her, maybe have a relationship.

If a woman finds a man handsome.... It means that she finds a man handsome. And that's it.

saraimarsena · 2022-09-25T04:29:44+00:00

i’m interested to see where this thread goes as ive avoided complimenting handsome men for fear that they’ll misinterpret me as being interested in them when i’m not.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-09-25T08:08:32+00:00

How is this a question? Like all things in the muddy world of interpersonal relations, the answer is clearly 'it depends'.

Fuck. Sometimes someone saying you are handsome doesn't even mean they think you are handsome.

vindictaisracist123 · 2022-09-25T04:11:26+00:00

Yeah and a guy telling a girl she's beautiful doesn't mean he's interested or in love

Your friend is wrong

Stop_Maximum · 2022-09-25T08:27:49+00:00

I give compliments not because I am attracted to the person, but usually if they are looking better than their usual or have made an effort. It’s nice to pay someone a compliment, doesn’t need to be taken further tho

Vic_from_fallout_2 · 2022-09-25T07:28:26+00:00

In a perfect world? Yes.

In our world? No.

Put another way: a man chasing after you when you are both in jogging attire and running at night is not an indicator that he is gonna attack you.

Despite this, your adrenaline should be at 100 because of the context you're in and a reasonably preconceived notion that something bad is about to happen.

We don't live in an ideal world where people of all backgrounds can jog together at night or compliment without assumption.

python834 · 2022-09-25T15:15:56+00:00

A BEAUTIFUL person is a person that is pleasant to look at.

A HOT person is a person that you feel the carnal desire to impregnate/be impregnated by.

A person can be hot and/or beautiful.

A woman telling a man he is handsome/beautiful is a SMALL indicator of attraction, but hotness is the absolute indicator of attraction.

AreOut · 2022-09-25T07:07:43+00:00

"hey guy you are handsome and sexy and I think you must be very good in bed but don't ever think I am interested in you tehee"

dbz19_kai · 2022-09-25T08:11:05+00:00

Of course not

A woman could be having sex with you and she’s still not interested in you

Women do be like that. Best not to think about them too deeply. Just focus on your life, don’t try to “understand” women

It’s not worth it

Truth_Sellah_Seekah · 2022-09-25T04:20:47+00:00

You don't say

Gigamon2014 · 2022-09-25T08:07:57+00:00

I mean...yeah. I've received many compliments from those I know weren't interested in pursuing anything. It's just there is an element of redundancy to the whole thing. Just be complimentary to the men you're interested in and less so to the ones you're not. What gets me is how many modern women almost fall over themselves to try and highlight that they're not interested. Often it's claimed to avoid creepy men but I actually think its moreso out of intense fear of rejection.

It's like "signals", you claim men shouldn't take a compliment as interest (okay, fair enough) but then they're also meant of decipher the strange double speak and bizarre behaviour women denote as "tOtAlly oBvIoUs" indicators of interest. Yeah...except I know plenty of women who will deliberately antagonise men they're interested in, straight up ignore, or just...stare (lol this became a meme). And you see a lot of it on this sub too, a lot of women are deathly afraid of expressing interest in a man who hasn't shown interest himself so its hard not to see all this as merely rationalising.

daisydaisydaisy12 · 2022-09-25T13:46:44+00:00

Lol she says your handsome and you run away to your computer to complain about women!!!! In true incel fashion.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-09-25T05:54:26+00:00

Context is everything. You can detect whether or not it's a genuine compliement through tone and body language.

Fiestygirl000 · 2022-09-25T11:32:59+00:00

I don’t compliment men who I don’t know. I used to in the past and they took it as he hitting on them. I’ve had apple soils the bunch- so I don’t do it anymore

Shaiziin · 2022-09-25T18:32:17+00:00

I must live in the biggest bubble of ignorance. I had no idea my compliments towards men were interpreted as sexual interest. I always thought it was viewed as my being nice and my “good deed” for the day 😳

Silverk42-2 · 2022-09-25T19:04:24+00:00

I agree with you, BUT the average man thinks that getting a compliment from a woman means that the woman js interested in him because MEN generally only compliment women they are interested in.

So it doesn't really matter if it's not an indicator because men think it's an indicator.

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Fusiontron · 2022-09-25T05:35:52+00:00

I agree for a different reason. Looks do matter, but "handsome" is almost an archaic word at this point. It's a professional way of telling someone they look good, the way a teacher would tell a student "yes, your outfit looks nice." Or at least, "handsome" is more nebulous than "hot" or "sexy" or even "cute". Sounds more like something someone would use to describe a dad, tbh.

rsvpxo · 2022-09-25T07:15:13+00:00

I agree with you, the problem is that most men can't read the subtext of a conversation.

A compliment can be completely genuine and innocuous, or it can be a signal to indicate interest.

A lot of men like your friend lack the communication skills to discern the difference and would actively pursue a devout nun if she complimented their haircut. This has caused a lot of women actively avoid complimenting men randomly.

With fewer women actively complimenting random men idiots like your friend think that the women outgoing enough to dish out compliments all want to jump his bones.

Guys like that are the ones that believe a stripper means it when she says "I love you." or "I never do anything like this."

2022-09-25T07:38:57+00:00

on the one hand i'm sure that it's something that can happen, calling a man handsome while wanting nothing to do with him romantically.

on the other hand i've mostly only been called handsome by women who are clearly into me and either dating me, or want to date me, etc.

the only times a woman just did it for no reason it was like a middle aged woman lol, and for all i know they literally did want to bang me but just didn't pursue it out of it feeling not appropriate cause of the age gap, i'm not 100% certain they just wanted to give a free compliment for nothing.

Historical-System972 · 2022-09-25T11:36:37+00:00

If she actually means it, it probably is. That's a big if though, and generally speaking handsome people don't need to be told they're handsome.

luxuriouscraig · 2022-09-25T13:13:17+00:00

Eh, depends on context. If you don’t know them or are not acquainted with them, then it is an indicator. And if you are young and the woman telling you is old, she might just be saying it to be kind (unless they are a cougar). But I have many friends who are women and we both trade compliments on each other’s looks to be good friends. In that case, it is not an indicator.

2022-09-25T14:30:38+00:00

I think this is common sense.

Obviously looks aren’t everything, and there are soooo many good-looking guys on the planet. Just because a guy is good-looking doesn’t mean we are interested in something with him.

Common sense:

Johnny_Autism · 2022-09-25T14:50:28+00:00

women: "we will drop hints if we're into you teehee"

also women: "calling you handsome is not a sing we're into you"

2022-09-25T19:36:36+00:00

Yeah especially for men who know they aren't handsome. Men aren't stupid. Most men learn very early on where they stand in the looks hierarchy. I know I'm not handsome so when a woman calls me handsome my guard goes up. They usually want me to do/give something for them or sell me something.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-09-26T16:06:57+00:00

No compliments don't automatically mean romantic interest.

Fabulous-Town8590 · 2022-09-28T17:44:45+00:00

Ya women don’t care about looks as much as men on average. Male sexuality is basically 100% visual stimulation.

Psych_FI · 2022-10-04T12:32:44+00:00

Yep, I know a couple of guys that I think are really cute, handsome or attractive. I don’t want to sleep with any of them.

Title	CMV: a woman telling a man he's handsome isn't really an indicator that she's interested in him
Author	Ohyarlysmiles
Upvotes	64
Comments	105
Date	September 25, 2022 3:49 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xncnx7/cmv_a_woman_telling_a_man_hes_handsome_isnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-a-woman-telling-a-man-hes-handsome-isnt-really.1131804 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131804

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