How true is it when people say women hate each other?

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-09-22T21:56:59+00:00

It's not been my experience. The women in my life are my biggest cheerleaders. I don't know what I'd do without them. The closest friend I have at work is not someone that would probably normally be my friend - she's a churchgoing, card carrying conservative type - but working right next to each other for many years has made her an ally at the work place and socially.

Rhubarb_Fair · 2022-09-22T22:17:40+00:00

I've been in bad female dominanted work spaces and good ones. Same for male dominated work space. Women are just people. The idea that we're all just bitches rampantly jealous of each other because the other women might get a guy with a bigger dick than us is just another tired gender stereotype.

2022-09-22T22:59:22+00:00

Protip: If a woman says stuff like this unironically you can bet she's the one who causes the drama. If a guy says stuff like this unironically he is either attracted to or spends much of his time with such women.

Oli_love90 · 2022-09-22T21:59:55+00:00

Personally my favorite job, I happened to be on an all women’s team. Also I now work in a very female dominated office. They’re all actually really cool and interesting. I didn’t experience bitchiness or competition throughout my jobs.

I’m not using my experience as a universal example but for me I haven’t experienced hating each other.

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-09-22T22:07:31+00:00

No. Women I know tend to be fairly nice snd supportive, some more than others. Obviously there's toxic or mean women here and there, but most are just normal, polite people.

The women at my work are alright; my female friends are all people I appreciate and think are cool in their own ways. I love my sister to death.

I think it all depends on the type of women you have around you and who you are. If I don't get along with a woman, it's less because she's a woman and more because her personality is probably one I don't like.

bunnakay · 2022-09-22T22:41:18+00:00

In my experience, women are so much easier to deal with. I've never had a woman sexually harass me.

wtknight · 2022-09-22T23:16:24+00:00

Women usually like each other but when a woman doesn't fit into the group dynamic then they can be pretty emotionally brutal about talking behind her back. The outright bullying is usually just a high school girl thing, though.

JMoon33 · 2022-09-22T21:59:34+00:00

I feel like women cheer eachothers up so much more than men do. We (men) could gain by complimenting and encouraging eachothers the same way women do with other women around them.

Slipthe · 2022-09-22T22:16:51+00:00

You can't paint broads with such a broad brush.

KombuchaEnema · 2022-09-22T23:18:23+00:00

It genuinely depends on the “primary” women in the group. Even in groups of females a hierarchy does etch itself out eventually. If the women with the most permanent positions in the group are kind and loving, then the entire group will be a positive environment.

On the other hand, if the women with the most primary positions in the group are snotty, then it creates a hostile environment.

Overall I would say: no, women don’t hate each other in general. But I think women are more likely to be affected by the “one bad apple spoiling the barrel” issue.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-09-22T22:41:12+00:00

i’ve worked in a female dominated workplace but mostly very male dominated workplaces.

there is really no noticeable difference to me in drama and personality clashing, just how everyone goes about it.

JumboJetz · 2022-09-23T02:05:36+00:00

As an outsider looking in, a lot of women seem to make fast friends but it’s also very clear who is “in the group” and who is not in the group. With men it’s harder in that most men can be part of any group with other men and it’s rare to feel like one is an outsider.

I’m thinking more of a work environment.

LadyofTheGreyPath · 2022-09-22T22:31:23+00:00

It's 70% hyperbole

liefelijk · 2022-09-22T22:46:57+00:00

Just like men, women can be competitive with each other, but they also can be incredibly supportive.

At my job, my closest relationships are with female coworkers. The biggest arguments I’ve had with coworkers have also been with with women.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-09-22T22:59:03+00:00

This is what I have heard from my mom's female friends. Her words not mine "it's like they never left highschool".

Unfortunately that's all the information because the majority of women I know work in male dominated places.

MicrospathodonChrys · 2022-09-23T02:12:19+00:00

I work in a science field that was male dominated 20 years ago and is now female dominated. I’ve found that the senior women who had to claw their way up back in the 80s and 90s are frequently the ones who are mean to other women. And to most people. I think it’s the behavior they learned to get by. And of course not all are like that.

The younger women I work with are mostly lovely. I’ve worked on many all-female field teams without any issues. Obviously not everyone likes everyone, but same goes for men.

poppy_blu · 2022-09-23T12:53:31+00:00

It’s a generational thing. In past generations, men had the advantage. So it was more common for women to throw each other under the bus to appeal to and compete for men. That has become less common as women have achieved equality, and I hear from younger women that they don’t see this at all.

Overall it’s a pretty standard human dynamic. The groups with less power have to protect themselves and negotiate their way with fewer and sometimes no resources and some will resort to tuning on their own (sometimes it’s not even a conscious act).

The terms house N and Uncle Tom are rooted in this. Doing the dirty work for the slavemasters and white folks in charge.

Teflon08191 · 2022-09-23T13:35:13+00:00

I've witnessed it numerous times. Two "best buddy" girlfriends that are always hugging and giving endless compliments just absolutely blasting one another when they're not together.

It's all that overly friendly/encouraging stuff that women do when together that spurs on the catty behind-the-back gossip that they're also known for if you ask me. Like an equation that needs to be balanced with two extremes.

2022-09-22T23:15:54+00:00

men fight with each other just as much, it just is considered valid and not called "catfighting"

RegTextoffender · 2022-09-22T22:44:14+00:00

Women are crabs in a bucket, IME. As long as you are not doing better, be it money, looks, relationships etc, they are fine, but if one of a circle wants out they try to pull them back in.

Fat women won't accept when "one of them" gets fit and will try to tell her shes fine or sabotage it.

Unhappy married women, won't want their friend to be happy with her husband.

etc.

I think its more toxic for women since they seem more tied to the group then men. Guys who play this game get ignored and discarded. Perhaps its why men have less friends. We put up with less shit.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-09-23T00:34:35+00:00

It hasn’t been my experience at all.

I’ve worked or volunteered in quite a few female-dominant or even entirely female spaces, and they’ve always been the most amazing, positive and supportive environments. I have so many memories I cherish from those places.

In my social life, I would say that the best thing I’ve done in the last 10 years was decide to invest in my female friendships. I have an incredible social network of women now who are all creative, dynamic, interesting, all-around cool and loving people. They’ve been amazing supports to me — the women who have my back no matter what. We cheer each other’s successes and haul each other through the rough times.

And honestly, even strangers. Like, I’ve bonded with so many women I met in totally random circumstances — crying over a guy in a bar bathroom, needing a tampon, missed a flight we were both on and became best friends at the airport bar while we waited for the next. Whatever it is, like I find I can make friends with women and bond over common experiences, gendered or not, very quickly.

I have very honestly never encountered anything like “women hate women” or toxicity in female relationships at any point in my life after high school. For many years through my early 20s I did sort of believe that “women hate other women,” but then I suddenly realized it was me — I was the problem, I was the reason I didn’t have good female friends. Because I was so insecure and had such low self-esteem, I really clung to the idea that I didn’t get along with women when really, it was that I didn’t feel good enough around them. Once I consciously decided to change that, I realized I was totally wrong and that not only do I fucking love other women, but they can love me too.

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BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-09-22T23:53:36+00:00

For every bitch I've had to question or take out, there is a nice one I am getting along with!

risdeveau · 2022-09-23T00:00:46+00:00

Single gender workplaces are generally bad news

NockerJoe · 2022-09-23T00:01:40+00:00

I think this is true for a few specific types of women. Women who like to gossip will naturally accent the negatives and a lot of women with messy lives will draw in other women with messy lives. They may not necessarily hate each other but they're all reasonably aware that each of them has a lot of negatives. Likewise there's 100% a class of reasonably wealthy social climber women who act super amoral and also will get together with other amoral women they don't actually like as people if its convenient to them.

But I've also known a good number of women who are, obviously, cool with each other and act like normal people. Likewise there are plenty of men who don't necessarily like every person in their extended social circle.

basebornmanjack41 · 2022-09-23T03:56:47+00:00

I worked behind a bar for 2 years in Canada in a female dominated establishment and a lot of the girls bitched about each other a lot but most didn’t actually “hate” each other.

My career is in a male dominated field and a lot of the guys bitch about each other but most don’t actually hate each other. I’ve never really noticed much of a difference to be honest other than the fact women talk so much more at work than men which will make it seem like they are bitching about each other more.

pro-frog · 2022-09-23T04:03:46+00:00

I'm in a workplace that's almost entirely women. It's great - they're the best bosses I've ever had. Clear, straightforward communication about any issues, and a generally uplifting environment where we all try to support each other. The few dudes who work there are the same way. I don't think it's a gendered thing - I think the environment is good because most of us are (good) social workers, who actually give a shit about one another.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-09-23T04:07:42+00:00

I've seen both ends, I've seen women friends who are each other's biggest cheerleaders but pretty much every "Frenemy" I've seen in my life is women as well, I don't know, and I know eventually in this thread it's going to come up that guys don't support each other in the same way, even at my lowest lows mentally, financially whatever it was my homies that uplifted me, if you don't have that support system with your friends then you have the wrong friend

87AudreyHorne · 2022-09-23T04:08:57+00:00

I don't think so, but women are also all individuals and it's normal that everyone doesnt always like each other, both as people and groups of people/types. I also dont like that pseudo feminist pressure that women all need to support each other - ill like and support people i personally like, men or women.

As for working with women and for women - my experiences have been great, and I've seen men doing all the stereotypical things women are usually accused of in the workspace. I know this is all releative, in elementary school (to grade 8) i experienced the most stereotypical girl dynamics that were horroble. But after that, not really. Especially when working.

aslanhatessmeagol · 2022-09-23T07:51:09+00:00

It depends on the environment or the work culture. If the envornment is toxic,the people there will not trust each other and probably backstabbed you.

If the environment is happy,they will support each other. No backstabbers.

I had been in both environment.

chalkandapples · 2022-09-23T09:02:25+00:00

I don't experience this. Women tend to be nicer to me than men. I feel like as a woman you get some automatic affection / friendliness with other women, but you still need to be realistic about your friendship level. Just because someone acts very friendly towards you, it doesn't mean you're best friends and you can expect them to actually drop what they're doing to help you like real established friends.

Women click faster with each other, but real affection and trust between close friends are still earned over time like with anyone else.

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-09-23T10:26:58+00:00

I don’t care enough about other strangers to hate them. I dislike women as much as I dislike men.

2022-09-23T15:34:33+00:00

I think my answer to this would be:

We’ve probably all seen that thing where there’s a girl that claims to only have male friends because girls are too emotional or messy, or something of the sort.

I’ve never seen the inverse in any way, shape, or form and I’m guessing neither have many of you.

NegotiationNo717 · 2022-09-23T16:21:50+00:00

If a woman says it, she’s 100% the woman she’s talking about.

2022-09-23T17:37:19+00:00

No. I work in an almost entirely female environment and there is zero drama. All love.

But that’s because everyone around me is emotionally healthy (at least enough to get along great at work). No wild personality disorders, no toxicity.

It’s a beautiful thing.

Qhoul424 · 2022-09-23T23:44:22+00:00

I hate everyone.

AcornMaiden · 2022-09-24T03:37:06+00:00

It's not true at all. People who think women hate each other watch too many movies. I work with about 100 women. We're all best friends.

hostility_kitty · 2022-09-24T13:31:58+00:00

Currently in nursing school and the amount of nurses who hate the women nursing students, but will train the men are SAD! But maybe it’s just the field I’m in because I’ve never seen this in tech.

Title	How true is it when people say women hate each other?
Author	Felizem_velair_
Upvotes	2
Comments	75
Date	September 22, 2022 9:47 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xleet2/how_true_is_it_when_people_say_women_hate_each/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-true-is-it-when-people-say-women-hate-each.1132058 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132058

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