How can I stop a Divorce.

rhett342 · 2023-02-03T08:00:02+00:00

Hey man, this is coming from someone who was in a 23 year marriage and had it end the same damn way yours did. You can't stop it. Give it more time and you'll cone around to where you won't want to either.

jgjg9999 · 2023-02-03T10:03:04+00:00

I hang around this sub Reddit hoping I can reach one person. I like many others have been where you are, wife absolutely shattered my heart when she cheated.

If she comes crawling back (and you take her back), she will just lose respect, cheat again, and blame you.

Do yourself a favor, talk to people that have been where you are, do some research, look at divorce statistics.

See how many people took back cheating wives and ended up cheated on again. Compare that to "sucsess" stories if you can find them.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

TipHeftyMan · 2023-02-03T10:14:20+00:00

Fuck this is painful to read. Your self esteem is so low.

You deserve better than this horrible cheating low value woman.

Divorce, move on, and get some high standards. The wrong partner can destroy your life (as you are finding out).

FunkyTownMascot · 2023-02-03T08:47:17+00:00

It takes 2 people to marry and only 1 to divorce. If she cheated on you like that then you shouldn't want her back even if she does want to come back. That trust never comes back. It would never be the same.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-02-03T11:12:38+00:00

Women don’t divorce men they admire and look up to. They leave men that become a plow horse to them. Genuine desire cannot be negotiated. She has no desire for you. You need to accept you are getting divorced, because it only takes one unhappy spouse to do so.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-02-03T10:19:37+00:00

Like Nuclear War in Divorce once someone launches everyone Dies. She stopped being your “wife” when she did what she did block her and get to endgame so you can start over Life wise . Get a dog next time

Alatornio · 2023-02-03T13:00:46+00:00

It's over. You can not go back only forward.

relationshiptossoutt · 2023-02-03T15:09:53+00:00

Not the most subtle advice you’ll ever read, but man, you’ve gotta man the fuck up, keep your chin up, fake some confidence for a while, and take control back in your life. Your “woe is me” attitude may feel good in the moment, but it accomplishes nothing and makes you look and feel like a groveling pansy.

Of course it only takes 1 person to divorce. How else would it work? Marriages don’t trap people. Your wife’s reasons don’t matter all. She’s done with you. Don’t chase after her begging her to change her mind. Stand up straight, look at yourself, tell yourself she’s missing out, then proceed with confidence and pride to whatever is next. Examine your mistakes that put you here. Vow to yourself to not make them again.

Then take care of yourself. Go to therapy. Eat well. Exercise. Treat yourself well, for YOU. Find your spark, your passion. Be a real, functioning human being who is looking forward instead of looking back. This “it’s not fair” stuff just makes you look pathetic and makes her more confident in her decision.

Read No More Mr. Nice Guy.

euphramjsimpson · 2023-02-03T14:03:02+00:00

It does seems like there’s nothing you can do and holding on is just prolonging the inevitable.

That said, it fucking sucks that there are faithless, disloyal, untrustworthy, and uncommitted people out there masquerading as upright people in the world. I never knew my ex was one but she absolutely is. I wish I never had to deal with her again and the fact that my promise to her was one that was for me etched in stone has made the whole thing so much harder.

Plus the fact that my children have to grow up like this, with a male role model of the loser, abusive former neighbor, current live in boyfriend. The fact that their reality is one in which this bullshit does happen fills me with so much sorrow.

It sucks that there are so many amoral assholes in the world. I wish they didn’t look like normal people.

Ncfc48 · 2023-02-03T11:56:56+00:00

💯💯💯💯💯💯 to every post, go through massive self improvement to build up confidence and self worth hit the gym hard put on lean muscle get boxing combat sports become a man again because most of us have been there and the only way is what I have just said it will kill her to see you become the man she can't have, good luck my friend keep us posted mate

gtbjw85 · 2023-02-03T13:47:52+00:00

It’s completely broken and irreconcilable.

Once you accept that reality you path forward will become much more clear.

DocHolliday80 · 2023-02-03T14:25:07+00:00

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

CaliDude75 · 2023-02-03T14:56:35+00:00

You can forgive her for your own peace, but don’t beg her to come back. Earlier in my separation, I left the door cracked open for talk about reconciliation, but she didn’t want to go there, so I left it alone.

rmorlock · 2023-02-03T15:10:21+00:00

I'm sorry man but I was/ am in the same boat. Look up Walkaway Wife. When they are done they just discard you and the family. It sucks. We are here for you.

panfriedaswell · 2023-02-03T22:24:37+00:00

My ex did the same thing. I didn’t argue or fight. 2 years later, when lover boy had enough and kicked her out, she asked to reconcile. I laughed so hard. Not a snowballs chance in hell.

Do not stop the process. It hurts now, this will pass. It’s best to let her go.

Mjolnir37 · 2023-02-03T22:39:15+00:00

Stop simping

Redditor_Flynn · 2023-02-03T14:29:46+00:00

I'm sorry you are going through this. I am too. In my case, my stbex just kept feeding me reason after reason to not only accept it, but to walk away knowing I am doing the right thing for me and my son.

Please seek counselling. It truly helps to have an impartial person involved.

Please lawyer up. This woman will feign care to get what she wants. Protect yourself and your responsibility to your children.

Use this upheaval anf change to teach your kids about postive living, seeking help when you need it and to discard negative steroetypes against mental health.

iaag82 · 2023-02-03T14:41:33+00:00

I’m sorry brother but you have to face that it’s over. She’s chosen to leave. Don’t beg for her to come back. Research “Walkaway wife syndrome.”

coffeefrog92 · 2023-02-03T14:54:42+00:00

Re-read what you wrote but pretend it was written by your best friend or brother. What would you tell him?

seaourfreed · 2023-02-03T17:49:44+00:00

There is a good healthy person out there for you. The wife of 12 years, isn't a healthy person for you. Be optimistic that you can find the healthy person for you.

Your unhealthy wife is taking up the space, and that space is needed to be freed up, to find the healthy person for you. Measure in healthy vs unhealhty terms.

jamesjeffriesiii · 2023-02-03T19:35:58+00:00

Christ, just divorce her

1Tinytodger · 2023-02-03T19:21:14+00:00

Sorry dude, but you can't simp your way into winning her back. She didn't respect you when she was unfaithful, and she sure doesn't now. It's over, the best thing you can do for yourself is move on. Get a prescription for anti depressants or anxiety if you need it and talk to someone.

Zardozki · 2023-02-03T19:52:57+00:00

Piling on to say you need to ditch her.

Heres how many fucks she gives about you:

How does that make you feel? Move on.

Blake19972022 · 2023-02-03T20:56:55+00:00

Bruh.....she's gone! Move on.

dadavedavid · 2023-02-03T21:47:11+00:00

You need to do the opposite, accelerate the divorce. I know it sucks, I know it hurts, but yeah, it only takes one person to not want to be in a marriage for it to fall apart. Get a lawyer and try to protect yourself in the process. But stop hoping you can stop it. You can’t.

Economist-Nervous · 2023-02-03T22:39:28+00:00

Love is two ways.

You love an idea of her that only exists in your imagination. The person you love isn’t there.

I’m slowly trying to accept this myself - so I know how hard it is. She’s stepped over the line and I think it’s time to move forward. It will be painful. Because your love was great. She’ll hardly notice because she has no love for you. It’s time to muster up all your cards for that hard but good fold. You won’t regret it when the rest of your life begins.

Good luck brother.

Sn0zZ_0 · 2023-02-03T12:30:54+00:00

You missed your chance to save this my bro, it's done, she's out and moved on already. Lawyer up and go read no more Mr nice guy for guidance on what happened. Good luck, we're here for you.

MorningShotssM8 · 2023-02-03T14:54:50+00:00

Bro you need a cocaine and strippers kinda night. A lot of self reflection happens when the night is over

Vegan-4-Humanity · 2023-02-03T16:32:17+00:00

My Brother, I feel your pain.. just like Cat Stevens Sung in Father and Son“I was once like you are now, But I know it’s not easy! I know the great times together were the greatest. Love and memories are the hardest to let go of!! Man to Man never go back if she returns cause it’s just a matter of time to go through that trauma again. Move on, Don’t give a crap .. Remember Bro !

She Cheated on You!!

The only difficulty is now to love again!

Go Red Pill bro!

Do your thing !!

Always remember JacobsonNinety90 is the Prize 🏆.

Never forget that!

wisstinks4 · 2023-02-03T21:02:34+00:00

Does it make sense to reach out to her family and ask where her head is at today? Especially after so many years of relationship, 13 yrs is long time. Seems pretty odd it just ends abruptly. That raises all kinds of flags (is she being forced, blackmailed, drugged) where is s the other person? Is it man or woman, older, younger, local, far away?? Is she sick? Is there mental health involved? What drove the behavior besides an affair? Your spouse doesn’t just disappear. Was she that unhappy? Its all Unusual. Get a few answers.

Title	How can I stop a Divorce.
Author	JacobsonNinety90
Upvotes	0
Comments	46
Date	February 3, 2023 7:50 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/10sep14/how_can_i_stop_a_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-can-i-stop-a-divorce.1151069 https://theredarchive.com/post/1151069

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