The fact that my child support enforcement office has no gender neutral paperwork is proof enough of institutional discrimination.

M4Strings · 2013-08-14T17:48:50+00:00

Can you post a photo with any identifying info blacked out of this form? I would love to see this for myself.

HereHoldMyBeer · 2013-08-14T21:38:01+00:00

Once I won full custody of my son, and in trying to deal with the government office full of women, they would always sneer at me like I was a deadbeat any time I had to go to their office.

They sent me garnisment on my wages for when my ex kidnapped my son and being self employed, I refused to send in any money. It took a few weeks to get a court date, then a couple months after that before DHS quit adding on each month of support to arrears and sending dirty letters to my work saying I had to comply when I had a judgement saying I didn't. Finally they corrected it and zero'd the balance out. Never did get a dime from her in child support tho.

zandyman · 2013-08-14T22:02:23+00:00

Hard to believe it was 2+ years ago when I started this fight. So far I've collected $0 from my daughter's mother.

You'll like the poster I got to stare at while I was waiting.

http://imgur.com/yImS1

ArbainHestia · 2013-08-14T17:26:51+00:00

I actually hope that is how you filled out the paperwork. Have any of the staff ever acknowledged the paperwork isn't gender neutral?

dignan2 · 2013-08-14T20:51:50+00:00

Ran into this with Health & Human Services, I refused to fill out the paperwork... finally sratched out every S on "she" before signing it , also filled out the answers similiar to what you did.

Really shitty honestly.

jasonhartsoe · 2013-08-15T07:41:16+00:00

Child support is a joke for the fathers...especially those who do the right thing, and are there for your child...as I am with mine. I'm sick and tired of my son's mother using his child support to pay her house payment, or other things...while he goes two winters without a thick coat that zipped up, or shoes that didn't fit two summers, or buy him clothes when she gets her taxes with the 4 kids write-offs, and sells his playstation and the game they got him for christmas...I'm sick of it...it's a joke, and completely unfair to us men. She gets $772 a month from me...and when I lost my job, I somehow have to come up with the money each month or go to jail for a most likely a year. I'm a week away now and this time for the first time I won't have the money to pay it. If you don't pay it...you'll get locked up for 2 months, brought back up to court for a review, lower the purge a little more, then another 2 months, etc. Now, I'm going to be locked up, probably spend a year not able to find a job or catch up all while accumalating more debt, while my son suffers not getting to see or spend time with his father (ME), who has a lot of health problems and a heart condition...My son doesn't have anything to play with over there except a few toys, but he tells me all the time they don't play with him, let him watch a lot of tv, his mom told me he couldn't bring his tablet back over, she told me he couldn't go to scouts anymore because it ran too late (8pm one night a week), and more. My son is turning 9 late Sep, and I'm the only thing he's got. I don't know what I'm going to do when I get locked up or him for that matter, because we're the only thing we have for each other...he's my world as I am his. He so badly wants to live with me but he's not of legal age to tell the courts yet...but believe me...when he is, we are going to move forward with it. If I could afford it, we'd do it in a heart beat. My son deserves so much more...and I just want him to have everything I couldn't. I so badly wish I could find a job...we lost our house, both cars, and a lot of what we owned...but I NEVER got rid of anything of my son's nor will ever. Anyways, Sorry, just had to get this off my chest...especially since I'm a week away now from freedom. Sadly, there's nothing I or anyone else can do to help me...family or friends. But back to the subject of child support, it's a joke for the men...especially here in NC. We have the toughest CS laws in the country. For us dads we pretty much have no leverage...and treated like crap. They wouldn't let me reduce mine when I lost my job. They don't care and won't work with you and are mostly ran by women in the office. So discrimination...YES, more than we truly know and understand. If I could rally to change things and to make them itemize child support like wic, food stamps, etc...I so would. Because I don't think my son's money should go to her new hair cut, or nails done...but hey, who am I to have any say.

:/

walker240 · 2013-08-14T17:56:02+00:00

Don't worry. The feminists will ignore this thread entirely. Then, in an hour or two, one of them will make a thread telling us all how sad he or she is that they can't take MRAs seriously, because of our opposition to feminism! After all, feminists care about equality, so we should just leave this up to them...

squidgirl · 2013-08-15T01:20:18+00:00

You should file a class-action lawsuit with other Dads that have custody! It's the only way the system will change. This needs to be on the local(if not national) news networks.

petemate · 2013-08-14T22:59:15+00:00

Why doesn't anyone challenge stuff like this? It seems to me that examples like this, are perfect in showing the biased system and the discrimination against men.

Im not from the US, so I don't know how this work. Hasn't anyone brought the child support scheme to the supreme court, or anything?

2013-08-14T18:34:19+00:00

Screenshot please!

rightsbot · 2013-08-14T17:18:17+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

medfunguy · 2013-08-14T23:00:24+00:00

At least you're not John Cryer.

gtrmu223 · 2013-08-14T21:34:29+00:00

Sounds much like Michigan. I'd debate that we're about the worst.

Big_J · 2013-08-15T03:05:06+00:00

What state was this for?

zandyman · 2013-08-15T06:22:53+00:00

What backwoods state is this?

nwz123 · 2013-08-15T20:38:32+00:00

Nothing to see here, folks. Just evidence of institutional barriers to 'equal rights.' Nothing discriminatory here in nature at all. And QUIT COMPLAINING!!

Fucking aye, if half the idiots attacking men realize that they sound just like the folks who were so kindly telling slaves that they 'had it good', chances are they'd stop attacking men.

freakflagflies · 2013-08-14T21:09:57+00:00

What state or country if you don't mind sharing?

GenderEqualityKing · 2013-08-15T14:08:33+00:00

The way to solve this conundrum is simple: men applying for child support should be prepared to get a sex change operation...that way, there would be nothing sexist about these questions anymore.

And it makes sense, after all, because women are supposed to take care of children. I mean, of course not! That's sexist! Men are.

DaddysCominHome · 2014-01-18T01:08:20+00:00

I am a single father with custody as well. What state & county do you live in? In most states there is a CSEA is each county, I'm just curious as to where this is actually happening, I'd like to do a bit of research.

Frat_Ernity · 2013-08-15T03:38:48+00:00

It's not institutional discrimination just because you don't have a box to check on your form. The courts overwhelming favor men in child custody cases, the discrimination is against women.

EDITED TO INCLUDE CITATIONS:

http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats18.htm

I shouldn't have used the term "overwhelmingly", but there isn't any gender bias that favors women. Only 4% of child custody cases actually go into litigation. Of those, only 1.5% complete litigation. In those cases, the man gets either joint or sole possession of the child 51%.

In terms of the other cases where the custody favors women: 80% of custody cases are decided out of court. That means the court's aren't discriminating institutionally.

When custody mediation is used, an agreement is reached between the mother and father that the mother should have sole possession 63% of the time. 31% of the time the father has either joint or sole custody.

TL/DR: The above stats suggest that when the custody dispute goes to litigation, there is no gender bias. When the trial is completed, men get some form of custody 51% of the time.

Title	The fact that my child support enforcement office has no gender neutral paperwork is proof enough of institutional discrimination.
Author	albinomex
Upvotes	978
Comments	166
Date	August 14, 2013 5:16 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1kcy2i/the_fact_that_my_child_support_enforcement_office/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-fact-that-my-child-support-enforcement-office.1166393 https://theredarchive.com/post/1166393

Comments