Posted by a female relative of mine. Ridiculous, right?

Maxwell1138 · 2022-12-14T09:17:21+00:00

Heres a list of activities my parents would perform during Christmas.

Mom

Decorate the tree with ornaments
Wrap presents
Decorate the interior of the house

Dad

Go out and get the tree. Hauling it home, cleaning it, and setting it up. Also watering and caring for it until New Year's.
Retrieving and unpacking all of the Christmas decorations from under the house in the crawlspace.
Decorating the entire exterior of the house, which includes climbing onto the roof to put up lights. Also includes testing all the lights and making sure they function.

This is a simplified list. But one of my parents performed intense physical activities, some of which are at a very high risk of injury. And one of my parents did things inside the house. Its completely ludicrous from my personal experience growing up to say women 'primarily' carry the burden of the holidays.

But I'm 100% positive this meme and your female relative are 100% talking about an imagined personal emotional burden. Because they are so incredibly narcissistic they can't see what anyone else is going through. They are only aware of their own issues. And because they are a narcissist, they know beyond a shadow of a doubt their own issues are the most important and most burdensome.

Because Narcissism.

BasicsofPain · 2022-12-14T06:58:35+00:00

We’re becoming a slave class. Forgotten, used, dismissed.

ArgueLater · 2022-12-14T16:17:56+00:00

If women don't want to do it, than don't. The fundamental argument that women are incapable of setting proper boundaries for themselves, go out of their way to do things they don't like, and then are victims of it is... infantalizing. Hardly inspiring of equal respect.

Women: If you don't want to do something, don't. If you need help, ask. Don't secretly do work and then get mad about it because it went unnoticed. Our brains tend to focus on one big problem at a time, setting everything else aside. State your thoughts in words, not once resentment has been built, but before even taking the action.

ExcellentIncident205 · 2022-12-14T07:04:30+00:00

What the hell is this shit

Angryasfk · 2022-12-14T08:36:06+00:00

Something that people choose to do is a “burden” is it? And “mental load”? Give me a break.

hottake_toothache · 2022-12-14T14:02:01+00:00

Why won't men just do everything all the time exactly how women want it!?!

orzhavmahfriens · 2022-12-14T12:51:23+00:00

Good lord.

The victim mentality of some people.

war_m0nger69 · 2022-12-14T15:03:24+00:00

Men have traditionally been responsible for financing all of Christmas - food, presents, Santa - all of it. The mental and emotional burden of making sure there are presents under the tree, that Santa visits the home and there’s a Christmas feast on the table. All on men. This post stems from the delusion that “being a Stay at Home Mom is the hardest job in the world.”

jjj2576 · 2022-12-14T15:26:55+00:00

Just drop a clip of Jimmy Stewart contemplating suicide from “It’s a Wonderful Life.” While certain types of mental anguish can sometimes be gender specific (Erectile Dysfunction or Post Partum Depression), Christmas Depression is definitely not gender specific.

63daddy · 2022-12-14T16:35:44+00:00

Where I work, it’s typically men who are asked to work over holidays (as well as evenings and weekends).

elebrin · 2022-12-14T15:05:50+00:00

Of course, the men paying off the credit card bill have it easy. All they have to do is work 60 hours a week and only see their family if they get Christmas off, which used to be a guarantee practically but isn't really any more.

Foxsayy · 2022-12-14T15:56:07+00:00

This may be true, but I also don't understand why, if women can't stand doing it, they just...don't.

Talk it out, if that doesn't work, let it all go one year, and if he doesn't work, you're dealing with someone who either A: doesn't really care much about decorations and such or B: doesn't take care of his kids/get them anything, and just doesn't care enough about his family to give his kids a decent holiday.

If it's the former, I guess you have to decide if a lack of Christmas enthusiasm is a deal breaker for you. If the latter, either he has some genuine problem with Christmas or you might be with someone who isn't responsible or caring in general, and that's a whole other problem.

catspajammas · 2022-12-14T16:42:46+00:00

Just because you do the card swiping doesn’t mean you carried the load

dmann27 · 2022-12-14T18:47:58+00:00

The burden of making money for presents and Christmas activities far outweigh anything else

BeepBeepYeah7789 · 2022-12-14T16:34:48+00:00

A self-imposed burden.............

McFeely_Smackup · 2022-12-14T16:25:01+00:00

Women really are mostly responsible for the effort that they insist on putting into 100% voluntary holiday activities.

Don't like it? Don't do it. that's the magic formula men figured out a long time ago. take some responsibility for your own decisions.

ERiC_693 · 2022-12-14T16:52:00+00:00

All the homeless men who will freeze to death during the cold of the holiday season will need to check their privileges. They wont experience the horror of wrapping presents in front of the fire.

ZouDave · 2022-12-14T19:12:21+00:00

I had this discussion with the "strong women" of my family (sister and mother, mainly) years ago. They were on and on about how much hard work they would put into Christmas every year, from decorating, to wrapping, to extravagant meals, etc. They even offered up "if we left it up to the men, none of this would happen!"

So I challenged back "and what if it didn't? What then?" I was told well then we'd all be sitting around in a house that looks like it would on any other day, opening presents that are maybe in plastic bags or something, and eating pizza.

"So...you agree we'd still be together as a family, we'd exchange gifts to show love for each other, and have a meal together. Right?" They saw my point but wouldn't concede, saying this extra stuff made it "special". I agreed it made it special, thanked them for their efforts, but reminded them that most of the men I know would rather the effort be put into spending time together rather than trying to make a perfect moment happen artificially. I have wonderful memories of Christmas as a kid, but can't tell you what any one of my presents was wrapped in, what specifically we had for dinner, or what decorations were out (for the most part). I remember family being together - and I remember my mom being overwhelmingly stressed out and my dad trying to keep her calm. Just seems like we could've skipped the hard part and everyone would've been happier.

NeoNotNeo · 2022-12-14T23:51:35+00:00

What is the emotional labor we bear when dealing with your emotions. From some women I have PTSD.

kiadragon · 2022-12-14T12:59:07+00:00

They pay for it all then, right? Because if I pay for the holiday stuff and you put in the labor of setup, its a partnership.

If the burden in only on females, I guess I'll stop paying for all the ornaments and b@llshit they 'just have to have' for the holidays. It's obviously not relieving their burden and I will save cash for stuff I want.

itchy-and-scratch · 2022-12-14T15:27:45+00:00

i dont disagree with the statment . a lot of the work is done by women but most of it is wanted by women as well. most men would rather if the whole thing was scalled back and that there is no need for all the extra work that is put into it.

the vast amount of decorations are way over kill

Relativity_Star10538 · 2022-12-14T15:42:44+00:00

Not ridiculous at all in this clown ass world of ours.

apathylete · 2022-12-14T14:52:26+00:00

Have you seen a road crew? It’s all women, have you seen all women, garbage collectors, you ever see a construction crew it’s all women framing or working on the house in the summer when it’s 102°.??? Men go to work, and women just open and only fans, there’s a clear separation here. You might feel things are one way but the facts of the data suggest otherwise so if you want your question answer just started looking at the data.

heeroena · 2022-12-14T10:04:40+00:00

Solipsism at its finest

apathylete · 2022-12-14T14:50:56+00:00

The best thing to do, is to be successful, and just ignore these attention craving bitches. Because all this whining, push back, and crying is them basically saying they don’t want equality because they have it, and it seems like they don’t really want it.

NYLON_G · 2022-12-14T16:49:48+00:00

Always always always the victim. Never never ever the solution finder.

Algoresball · 2022-12-14T11:33:23+00:00

I wonder who’s loading all the boxes iri the trucks

glock3299 · 2022-12-14T16:19:07+00:00

If this was my relative I would own them in whatever comment section block them and never talk to them again, what a complete load of misandrist shit.

Njaulv · 2022-12-14T19:33:27+00:00

The burden of wrapping presents for your loved ones and planning a party with your loved ones? Oh my god how horrible! Meanwhile the guy is working his ass off to afford all of this. IF we are talking about the typical shit your relative is talking about on that level of 1950s understanding of our culture.

OriginalPostrSociety · 2022-12-14T22:27:26+00:00

I don’t have a problem with this because I think that a amazing woman in my book is a homemaker and the responsibilities of the holidays do fall on the homemaker. The problem is that most of the women who post this/like it probably are not homemakers. They are just complainers.

DunntheWorm · 2022-12-14T23:42:50+00:00

Ahahahahaha! If it is primarily carried by women it’s their own damn fault. No one is responsible for making someone else carry an invisible mental load.

2022-12-15T00:38:43+00:00

Then don't do it? Lol.

odysseytree · 2022-12-14T09:41:27+00:00

Then don't have family if you see it as a burden. Simple. You are yourself responsible for the optional life choices that can be avoided.

OldSamVimes · 2022-12-14T11:20:16+00:00

She sounds like a barrel of laughs.

Kookerpea · 2022-12-14T17:53:50+00:00

In my family and most that I know, the Moms

Work full time
Do the grocery shopping
Cook all food for the holidays
Clean up and do dishes afterwords
Do all present shopping
Is the one who remembers all the present preferences and things like everyone's size and if they need new socks and etc
Wraps all presents
Does the majority of decorating
Is the one who leads the family in holiday activities like singing songs, doing crafts, watching Christmas movies
Is the one who takes the kids to see Santa and any outside of the house holiday activities

Electronic_Demand_61 · 2022-12-14T13:29:03+00:00

Yea, cause I definitely don't worry about being able to afford buying my children Christmas presents as a man.

They can be so oblivious.

ColonelVirus · 2022-12-14T14:53:25+00:00

Depends. I'd say it's true for my family. My dad has never been involved with holidays. Mum does everything, cooks, puts tree up, looks are the guests. Dad just sits and drinks.

Uncle_Touchy1987 · 2022-12-14T19:37:37+00:00

Since you can't read thoughts this is just another case of women making up how oppressed they are.

throweezus · 2022-12-14T19:45:59+00:00

‘Emotional labor’ strikes again. AKA shit that nobody HAS to do, but women do because they benefit socially from it.

liga__privada · 2022-12-14T18:27:30+00:00

You can only have these takes in a first world country.

D_woodygood · 2022-12-14T06:58:23+00:00

Not really, if that's what many women are expected t to do at Christmas. Or do you genuinely believe it's magic?

Anih1list · 2022-12-14T23:52:48+00:00

I feel like you could replace the words "magic" and "women" with literally anything. Usually I can see what feminists are saying, even when it's Hillary saying women are the primary victims of war. This time, I can't even begin to understand what she's coming from.

Chromeasshole · 2022-12-15T00:40:43+00:00

Oh wtf ever. Primarily carried by women, huh?

So all the lost sleep from making sure your entire family has everything it needs (food, clothes, shelter etc), helping out with the kiddos homework after working all day, ensuring your spouse is doing well due to ailments, and not having enough time to do anything for yourself (including the most basic things) is primarily shouldered by women?

sumfacilispuella · 2022-12-15T06:13:42+00:00

maybe its bc im from the south but here the men literally sit on the couch and do nothing the entire time. (same with thanksgiving) the women do any and all cooking, cleaning, decorating, shopping, wrapping, and hiding the gifts. sometimes the man will like put together a bike or something but in my house that also fell to my mom as my dad is awful at tasks like that. men who actually help do that type of stuff here are really rare and they usually get shit on by other men for doing it.

Chome_gnompy · 2022-12-15T14:10:58+00:00

Help lessen that female relatives stress by not spending the holidays with them.

Title	Posted by a female relative of mine. Ridiculous, right?
Author	Keldaras
Upvotes	293
Comments	142
Date	December 14, 2022 6:48 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zlk0vv/posted_by_a_female_relative_of_mine_ridiculous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/posted-by-a-female-relative-of-mine-ridiculous.1208132 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208132

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