Question about how body count and status works.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-06-17T19:55:55+00:00

You're getting this a bit backwards here. If you find someone attractive you might assume you're not the first and that person has probably slept with people who shared your opinion. Which isn't the same as finding a high count attractive, because you're correct, you don't even know that (and bragging about it is a great way to turn others right off).

EulenWatcher · 2023-06-17T19:55:43+00:00

This question makes no sense really. Women seek someone they're attracted to and compatible with, not some theoretical "high value" guy. Sure, you can say that attractive men are HVM by definition, but that's not how most women operate.

When I was single in terms of experience I was looking for someone with similar lack of it and I didn't consider them low-value. I actively avoided going out with known players and boys who tried to create an image of one for themselves. My husband and I discussed our previous experience a few dates in and it was pretty similar.

ashpr0ulx · 2023-06-17T20:00:02+00:00

of every man i’ve ever dated i only knew the body count of one- who was a virgin, and he offered that information, and it changed nothing about how i felt about him

i never ask, i just don’t give a fuck

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-06-17T20:24:33+00:00

This is such bizarre backwards thinking. I don't even know how to address it, the. High value men get the high body counts not the other way around.The fact that many many women are attracted to the man allows for him to have a high body count. It's not something that women need to know specifically

penguintransformer · 2023-06-17T20:29:00+00:00

I never ask because I genuinely don't care. I would guess most guys I've been with probably had around 40 partners? One guy told me he's been with 100+ women, but he was terrible at sex. I honestly don't care about people's body count, I'm way past highschool....

sabiinvesting · 2023-06-17T19:58:04+00:00

This has to be one of the weirdest questions I've seen here... High body count doesn't indicate status or high value. That means he likes to stick his dick into too many holes. Community dicks should be gross to women worth your time.

eefr · 2023-06-17T20:30:21+00:00

But how do women know which guys have high counts and which ones are virgins

We can't know in advance, and we actually don't care all that much. Some women (not me) might be weirded out by a man who's never dated or had sex with anyone, but I don't think anyone is more impressed by a guy with 15 different partners than a guy with one or two long-term partners. Both of them had equal opportunity to develop sexual skills.

Red pillers tell themselves it's attractive for them to have lots of partners mainly because they want a way to rationalize the fact that they are condemning women for something they themselves do. They ought to be fucking lots of different people, they tell themselves, because it's what women "naturally" want. It's different for them, somehow, than it is for women.

As you have correctly identified, there's absolutely no way for us to know how many people a man has slept with until he tells us (and he could be lying). So his number of past sexual partners can't possibly figure into our gut-level attraction to him.

The only thing we can tell, upon sleeping with him, is whether he doesn't know what he's doing in bed, which is pretty immediately obvious. That's not a huge issue if he has little sexual experience; these are learnable skills. But if he's had lots of sex and still sucks, it's because he doesn't care enough to bother improving.

If you don't know what you're doing in bed, you're probably better off admitting that you are inexperienced.

odd_paperweight · 2023-06-17T22:54:05+00:00

no because i dont care

i dont determine someone's value based on how many people they've slept with, because it doesn't change anything about them and it doesn't change anything about me.

if someone is a garbagetruck before sleeping with tons of people, they'll be a garbagetruck after. having sex won't make an incel a more bearable person. having sex with multiple people won't turn a virgin man into an irresistible godlike figure that i MUST be attracted to. i can't imagine living a life SO miserable that i would have those kinds of standards. I'd be depressed ALL the time. (this isn't an attack and im not saying OP does, this is just my own personal thoughts)

houstongradengineer · 2023-06-17T20:09:30+00:00

Virgin men aren't actually a problem. I thought my husband was one at first, but uh, that was a lie. It's not an indicator of status. Like the other comments said, N count could indicate a lot of things like being religious or indiscriminate. That's not the question anyone should be asking or worried about, but certain very misguided men do it anyway. Maybe as a way to shame women they're angry at, idk.

Now, I do think it's important to have these discussions in a serious relationship. I thought I had it with my husband, but I guess I was wrong. At least I was able to express myself to him at the time. I did my part. He's lucky his part didn't catch up to him. And to be fair, at least his count isn't extreme. I don't think this would work if he was even an ounce more sketchy than he is. But hey, I've been wrong before.

Lolabird2112 · 2023-06-17T19:58:57+00:00

Well adjusted, confident people don’t even think to ask this stuff once you age out of your early 20s.

Most guys who just have a lot of ONS aren’t good in bed. It’s not something women find attractive- that’s a guy on guy thing. Men seem to hero worship guys who shag indiscriminately. Again, it’s not something normal people ask each other as adults. Same as I wouldn’t know a guy was a virgin unless he told me. Why? Because, like I said, just because a guy has had a lot of sex doesn’t mean he’s any good at it.

Unnecessary-Training · 2023-06-17T21:09:58+00:00

It makes logical sense that the guy who has a high body count is considered that he must have high value vs. a guy who is a virgin, who women would think he must be low value.

Not at all.

Big_Ranger_4220 · 2023-06-17T21:14:48+00:00

In my experience, high body count isn’t something women value the way men do. If you have a high count as a man, you’re more likely to turn a girl off as she may think she is expendable. It’s less of a turnoff than it is for men though, because of sexual purity and women’s ease of access.

figuringLifeIsGood · 2023-06-17T21:19:08+00:00

women and men are not the same

fiftypoundpuppy · 2023-06-17T19:49:30+00:00

Obsessing or caring about n-count is generally a low-status male thing to do. I allow exceptions for traditional and religious individuals.

Most women aren't low-status men, funnily enough.

_revelationary · 2023-06-17T19:59:50+00:00

I don’t think high n count men have high value, inherently. But high value men are probably more likely to have a high n because they’re more likely to be attractive, etc. Or the idea of social proof/pre-selection - seeing a man with other women might mean he’s more desirable because those other women are hanging out with him, so he’s sort of pre-vetted, especially if the women are attractive or similar to one’s self. But if I hear a guy has a high n count…that alone definitely doesn’t make him more attractive to me. For some it might, but you don’t need to ask. You can usually sense if a guy has a high n by his appearance and how he interacts with you.

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InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-06-17T20:31:40+00:00

If he's got a skater aesthetic, skinny, had a drug problem in his past, his n count is in the double digits by the time he's 20.

A lot of guys will also just tell you if you ask. You'll know if he's lying or not based on how confident and self assured he is.

Novadina · 2023-06-17T20:49:30+00:00

We don’t know. The only time I knew was when a man told me, and that might not even happen until after we had sex and were dating. When I was a teenager it was more common for boyfriends to discuss it (even if we didn’t have sex), because everyone was inexperienced and trying to get some idea of who might know more. My current partner told me I was his first a couple weeks after we had sex. Out of men I’ve slept with I only knew the count of 3 guys, all boyfriends, two of them I was their first, and my first had sex one time before.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-06-17T21:01:22+00:00

A guy with a high body count is usually considered in terms of a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kind of thing and even then they aren't inherently high value cause you don't know if this dude is going to please you or jackhammer for a few minutes, they're not considered to be a person you'd take home to meet your parents, especially if they're the type to brag about all of their conquests.

We tend to look for someone we're attracted to, whether that guy has a high or low count doesn't really matter all that much for most women. I'm sure there are women who want a guy that everyone else also thinks is hot and want him for bragging rights but they aren't the majority of women.

iT_I_Masta_Daco · 2023-06-17T22:58:44+00:00

Women don't know, unless you have made a name for yourself or tell it yourself but that is cringe.

I am (unfortunately) known as the player from my work.

Women, without telling me say to me i have a fuckboy vibe. I'm flirty. Women say: "I bet you have enough women right?." Or say: "You're attractive, so i know i'm not the only one i talk to."

Also, if you have sex with a woman and they talk with other women, they know how you are and word can spread.

Some are disgusted by the fact that i used to sleep around, some like it that i'm that way and want in on some action (although some on the downlow because status of being "used").

AngeCruelle · 2023-06-18T01:21:57+00:00

I prefer virgin/inexperienced men. Multiple factors play into that, but perhaps a part of it is growing up a devout Catholic. The most influential men in our hierarchy are expected (in theory at least) to abstain from sex.

I can guess the rough amount of sexual experience a man has pretty reliably at this point. How comfortable is he around alcohol? Is he touchy and familiar? Does he maintain a polite distance? How does he react when his friends talk about women and sex?

Snoo16680 · 2023-06-18T08:50:59+00:00

It shows in actions. A lot of "confidence" is just experience in the game.

Women talk to each other, and most dating pools arent that deep. Usually people know people who know people and so on.

SierraMistSoda · 2023-06-17T23:31:58+00:00

Nobody knows anybodies body counts. I don't think I have every tried to guess either.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-06-18T00:09:46+00:00

I’ve never been asked, and I’ve never asked. It’s not something I scan for.

Title	Question about how body count and status works.
Author	harmonica2
Upvotes	0
Comments	66
Date	June 17, 2023 7:42 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14bztjj/question_about_how_body_count_and_status_works/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/question-about-how-body-count-and-status-works.1222837 https://theredarchive.com/post/1222837

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