Active dates are excellent first dates

El_Don_94 · 2023-07-02T13:32:44+00:00

It really depends on how well you know them beforehand.

You shouldn't do something that will take a while with someone you don't vibe with.

There's also the issue of paying.

eye_fuck · 2023-07-02T13:51:02+00:00

Reddit is it okay to go boxing first date and beating the shit out of your partner?

ShizoDijagnoza · 2023-07-02T14:53:40+00:00

Okay coach, I didn't realize we were auditioning for the NFL.

StaticNocturne · 2023-07-02T16:43:45+00:00

I Diametrically disagree; coffee dates are cheap, convenient, offer an easy escape route if things go south, and they are the best barometer to determine potential chemistry… If you can’t enjoy coffee together it probably definitely isn’t going to work.

Au contraire with activity dates one runs the risk of misattributing their enjoyment to the other person when it was more so the context, and they can be quite uncomfortable if done on a first date with someone who is essentially a stranger as I’ve learned the hard way.

Adventurous first dates are almost always better on paper than in practice

wtknight · 2023-07-02T13:38:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Eastern-Will77 · 2023-07-02T14:08:39+00:00

Coffee dates have always worked well. If you need a perfect setup to connect with someone, it won't work out. If I can have a solid date and make even just a coffee date fun, then things are looking good. Vast vast majority of people want instant gratification with first dates and they usually move on from the other person if things aren't absolutely perfect. They can just move onto the next bloke in line. Those are exactly the types of people I want to weed out.

Former_Molasses_7073 · 2023-07-02T14:26:15+00:00

This one is very interesting.

For me, active dates such as walking around a shopping mall or going to an arcade has worked very well when i was working in China and Taiwan. Or when I visited Singapore.

But I actually find in the USA they are bad because women tend to be less focused on a guy and building chemistry with him when they aren't looking at him for the first while. In the USA people are a little more outgoing in public, where as in Asia they are usually very quiet . So walking around in an area with people in the USA makes it harder to focus on the person you are on a date with.

Just my observations.

Workaholiconew · 2023-07-02T13:36:18+00:00

I am pretty sure most guys would prefer another type of exercising....

Jokes aside. Most people enjoy drinking or eating dates because it helps them get some (free) food/drinks, cause it permits some more talking which can be useful to know who the person is(such as personality, traits or quiks), and because it is overall an activity everyone enjoys (not everyone likes hiking for example).

Active dates are perfect if both are particularly active people and are looking for that in a relationship but having a time to just sit around and talk is necessary cause your healthyness and activeness is not the only thing that must align if you want either sex or relationships.

meteorness123 · 2023-07-02T16:00:17+00:00

The best first dates I've had were always walks. Just take a walk, shoot the shit, talk to each other, maybe get some ice cream, sit on a bank and enjoy each other. Thats it.

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-07-02T15:13:41+00:00

Guys- pls don’t ask women to go on hikes especially for a first date. That makes me immediately have alarm bells for being hidden away from the public. Don’t get me wrong I love joking but as a first date I would assume you want to kill me in the woods or something lol.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-07-02T15:28:45+00:00

Those sound like cool activities for the right people. Axe-throwing terrifies me and I'm not a fan of hiking, so those suggestions don't sound like a great first date for me. And unless the person has specified they like stuff like that, suggesting those specific activities might come off a bit weird. But if they're into that stuff? Sounds awesome and I'm sure they'd love it.

I don't feel good while exercising, I feel good after. I also don't enjoy exercising with someone as a team or a tandem. So from my perspective, a first date where I'm supposed to get to know someone while sweating and trying to fight off mosquitos sounds like a drag.

I do think active first dates are good too, going to an arcade sounds like fun, going for a walk in the park and having some drink also sounds nice. Mini golf could be cool too. I wouldn't say drink dates are superior but they're a lot easier, not a lot of planning has to go into ''let's get tacos'', while the other ones require a bit more planning and it might be a bit more difficult to get away inconspicuously if the date is going really badly. Also, everyone likes food and drinks, even if the date sucks at least you got some nibbles.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-07-02T17:05:02+00:00

We went bowling them for a walk on our first date.

I hate going for meals as a first date

RacistsCallMeRacist · 2023-07-02T17:36:52+00:00

Do kids still "date"? I thought they just got together, partied and scrogged, and then sort of went from there.

Mentathiel · 2023-07-02T17:59:13+00:00

I’m not suggesting hiking or anything like that- but maybe a little walk on some nice family friendly nature trail

That's hiking lol

I think active dates are great later on, but for the first date I wanna be able to have a conversation and I want to be in a public populated place usually. I don't mind taking a walk in the city or whatever, but I don't want to go to a remote location. "Remote locations" include big parks in cities where there is no people within eyesight at every spot.

towerofcheeeeza · 2023-07-02T18:24:00+00:00

This might be true for some people but definitely would not apply to me. On a first date the most important things for me is getting to talk to the other person to really get to know them. I find it much easier to talk when we're sitting down in a not-noisy environment and just making eye contact.

A physically engaging activity would frankly be too distracting for me. I'd be focused on doing whatever we're doing and less focused on learning about the other party. Also it would make me more self-conscious about my body, how I come across, etc. than just sitting at a cafe.

I would also potentially have to dress to suit the occasion as opposed to wearing my cutest oufit and makeup. Now I do enjoy active dates like that, but I would prefer them for a 2nd or 3rd date.

But one way around this is to have a few small dates planned into a bigger date but I guess that depends on how much time you and your date have allotted for a first date.

My first date with my partner was coffee -> art exhibit -> dinner -> drinks.

Practicing_Raccoon · 2023-07-02T19:16:00+00:00

My default date is a walk in the park. For whatever reason it's easier to open up when walking and talking. Maybe it's cause you're not stuck looking right at each other. Plus no issue with "who pays." But getting sweaty isn't my jam. I don't wanna look ugly in front of them until like date 5.

Waratah888 · 2023-07-03T08:07:38+00:00

Putt putt golf.

Fearless_Method_1682 · 2023-07-02T13:49:40+00:00

>Tell me why drinks dates are superior.

The drinks give her an excuse to be less uptight.

Rhinosaur666 · 2023-07-02T13:59:54+00:00

Restaurants, cafes and cocktail bars are an attractive woman's playground. Not a great advantage for a guy.

Lovers691 · 2023-07-02T19:50:34+00:00

Most women do not want an active date because it requires physical exertion

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Repulsive-Magazine57 · 2023-07-02T14:57:53+00:00

I’m confused. What’s the difference between hiking and a little walk on some nice family friendly nature trail. Don’t most women feel unsafe if the first date isn’t in a public place with lots of people.

dumbumbedeill · 2023-07-02T15:14:43+00:00

Depends, if you in very good physical condition, if your doing worse then the guy next to you will look bad. Woman pick the winners in the end. So only do something of ur really good at it, top 10% procent.

roastpork99 · 2023-07-02T16:24:45+00:00

Anyway, prove me wrong. Tell me why drinks dates are superior.

Hmm is there anything to prove wrong? I don't think so.

I think you've made excellent suggestions but it's really horses for courses. If you're able to get a gauge of what the person would like on a first date and they'd like something physical then yep do it.

If you think they're more of a sit down and eat or catch a drink person, then do that.

If you're unsure then either a walk (in a non creepy area lol), going to a nice garden type space, grabbing coffee, grabbing a bite are all fairly solid choices. I honestly feel so long as you can talk and it's a comfortable environment then you're good to go.

basedmama21 · 2023-07-02T18:11:10+00:00

I invited my (at the time boyfriend but now) husband to train jiu jitsu with me and it was a GREAT time (we were both training before we met each other)

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-07-02T20:18:13+00:00

Most people will not agree to go into the wilderness with you even if it's a 'family friendly nature trail' on a first date unless they've already been friends with you.

I certainly will not meet a stranger from online for example anywhere that doesn't have at least a few people and at least one regular staff person/employee (coffee shops, cocktail lounges, et cetera).

Some people might be into axe throwing or disc golf. Some are not, either because it's a lot of commitment for a first date, and harder to get out of if the date is not going well, or because even people who can afford lavish dinners don't like to spend more than a few bucks on a first date (hence why coffee dates are so popular).

Most people who date are not going to want to show off their physical abilities (but some do!).

It depends entirely on the person you're dating.

I would decline axe throwing, nature walks as a first date every single time. I'm not interested in any kind of physical test on a first date, or even anything really physical unless we end up making out or something. And I'd want to do that in a cool breeze or a well air conditioned place, not while sweating with a stranger.

Also, if you're doing something that is physically taxing, conversation can be difficult. Obviously for many a light nature walk wouldn't leave you short of breath. But frisbees, or 'getting a sweat going' definitely will.

the_lazy_orange · 2023-07-02T23:54:43+00:00

What the heck happened to regular dancing?

Powell__ · 2023-07-03T21:17:08+00:00

I think it depends on what you like. I don’t you should do something on a date you wouldn’t anyway.

For example, I love hiking, so for me it makes perfect sense to take someone on a hiking date. If she likes hiking, that’s a sign we’ll probably get along.

Title	Active dates are excellent first dates
Author	Dom-Francon
Upvotes	29
Comments	80
Date	July 2, 2023 1:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14ooaez/active_dates_are_excellent_first_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/active-dates-are-excellent-first-dates.1224295 https://theredarchive.com/post/1224295

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