For background: I (23F) and this guy (31M) have been dating for almost 3 months - and, so far, we've had two big discussions; one where he was scared of starting a relationship and becoming vulnerable, shortly after our first date, and this one. We have been intimate. Things are great most of the time, as it should be. He's more conservative than I am, but we both agreed on a relationship that is male-led. I'm the soft landing spot, and he's the leader. Etc. We both want marriage and kids.

Somehow, one of our conversations ended up being about a video I came across of a dating podcast, in which three men said women should endure domestic abuse. I thought it's absurd, and plain wrong, and assumed it'd be his reaction too but - he said domestic abuse could be an "appropriate measure" for "some people". And things went downhill from there. He's said he bets some women would provoke men to abuse them for alimony, that most of the abusive relationships he's seen had the female as the perpetrator of violence, that I just don't know if the physical abuse was caused by "something they did", etc.

He has also said that it doesn't apply to me - that he's not violent, he never hit a woman (though later he said he did, but in self-defense and lightly), and he'd never do it to me. He has defined the group that deserves violence as "the working class" originally, then said it was a miscommunication and he really meant terrible, low-class, dysfunctional individuals.

My position right now is that, if someone can justify domestic abuse for a specific group, it might not take much for them to justify domestic abuse for others - including myself. He refused to look at all of the stats and research proving that females are not the main perpetrators and that domestic abuse is just objectively harmful, because data can be skewed/manipulated and that he doesn't believe in science. I tried talking but he interrupted me and became very defensive. I'm scared of continuing in this relationship because, clearly, this is someone with low empathy and someone whose opinions I can't agree with. I told my father about it and he thinks it's not a safe relationship.

I'm just scared that I may be overreacting and that, to other people, this may not be as big of an issue as it is for me. He's said that it'd be less of a problem for me if I was older, less idealistic and less of a liberal. And I do have some liberal ideas - at the same time, not at all. But I figured it was worth asking like-minded women (and RP contributors!) whether I'm being a sensitive snowflake and ruining something super early on, or if he's actually out of line.