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recyclablebanthas · 2021-07-17T04:08:30+00:00

1

I'm interested in only finding FWBs, casual flings with the option of dating several girls.

James Marshall gave a really good talk on this very subject a few years back.

I've linked Part 4 of a longer talk there, When he gets into how to have "the Talk" with a girl to set expectations, explain what you want, and screen out people who don't want that thing.

2

Basic breakdown of his video:

Keep it simple and to the point, no verbal diarrhea.
Don't make it into a big deal with a huge buildup.
When to do it is important. You can usually wait until after things escalate for the first time, whether that leads to sex or just kissing.
Don't try and tell her what she feels. Do say that you want to know where she's at with it.
Do you say that you are enjoying your time with her or some variation on that sentiment. (Only if you actually are.)
Do come right out and say that you simply aren't available for something serious. You can even be honest that you're wanting to date around.

He gets into more detail. Just watch the video. At least Part 4, if not the whole thing in full length.

3

I'm good-looking, well-rounded personality and introverted.

It's good to know what you're about, but just realize that everyone has their own subjective tastes. Some people are going to be into you and some people are just not going to be.

I'm not shy but I don't enjoy going to bars and nightclubs on a frequent basis.

This is fine, of course. There are people everywhere. Not just at those places.

4

What would be good places for me to meet girls and make this scenario a reality?

Look for single people and take it from there. You can meet people in a lot of different ways. There are social groups which meet up on a regular basis and post public events to social media.

Some examples:

Social partner dancing like people have mentioned here. Lindy Hop, West Coast swing, Argentine Tango, etc.
Social media groups on platforms like Facebook. There are a lot of them for things like couch surfing, hash house harriers, rock climbing, or any number of other interests.

When you get involved with a lot of groups like these, you are creating and cultivating a social life that exposes you to more people, which increases your chances of meeting people.

5

As for making the scenario a reality, it all has to do with screening the people that you're dating.

If you just date people without laying your cards on the table in some way at some point, then people will make up their own narratives and that's when you risk drama.

Again, watch the video: James Marshall does a good job of explaining the concepts.

Agreable_Actuator84 · 2021-07-16T14:05:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

KrystalAthena · 2021-07-16T14:41:10+00:00

Some of my past fwbs were people I used to be friends with, then we just gradually talked about what ifs.

Some others, we already had great chemistry, timing was just off until both of us were single at the same time.

So maybe look to your casual friends and see which ones are you willing to risk lose through sex

great_account · 2021-07-16T14:00:41+00:00

The thing about fwb is they have to be mutually beneficial and enjoyable. Also, they are almost always transient. So she has to find you attractive and fun. She has to be at a point in her life where she doesn't want anything serious and she has to prioritize sex. Imo, most women don't really qualify. And frankly most men aren't really good candidates.

You can maximize your chances by being in shape, fun to be around. Great places to look are online, the gym (be warned, you'll have to be in great shape), bars, and universities and on vacation (the number of women in tourist destination looking for casual sex skyrockets). Having a player reputation can add to this.

Dynasty3310 · 2021-07-16T17:06:22+00:00

Dancing classes, salsa classes are pretty easy to find in the city. Go to the evening classes and you’ll get a bunch of career women looking to let loose. It’s a gold mine.

shiny100 · 2021-07-16T14:18:24+00:00

I believe FWB type relationships tend to kind of happen naturally. People aren't typically actively looking for FWB. Also the friend part comes first, so if you don't already have a potential candidate then you've met an impasse. I guess you could try dating apps and just be open with what you're after.

Narcan9 · 2021-07-16T17:21:52+00:00

Sometimes single moms in their 30s go for FWB. They are too busy for a full relationship but still want to have a good time once a week when they have free time.

Divorced women in general, but especially around age 40. They have their career going, own a house. They don't want you moving in and fucking everything up. They have their divorced friends, yoga, and coffee. There's limited time left for a man. Happy to bang one out once or twice a week.

Any young woman still in her party phase.

Any woman fresh out of a relationship. They're still horny but want minimal emotional investment.

loofyd · 2021-07-16T13:50:35+00:00

Dating apps and just say you are up for night stands and no strings attached, plenty of office women out there

avyayy · 2021-07-16T15:31:34+00:00

Casual dating is fwb Of course if you are good in bed

jwilhelm0618 · 2021-07-16T14:17:57+00:00

I've had 3 FWBs over the last several years and they were all girls I've known forever but didn't have a chance to hookup with before because I was married. All of them ended because they caught feelings. Post divorce I had a tiny black heart and void of emotions. I'm better now🤗

AnthdieSoos · 2021-07-16T16:46:21+00:00

Approach them in public

Spectralgeth · 2021-07-16T18:02:29+00:00

Basically this comes down to funnel, and you want to get as many leads in your pool as possible. Do you practice daygame, what is your social media like? etc.

I'm no pro at those things but Ive had a few of these kinds of relationships in my life, Ill be honest most of them came from online dating.

The more you put yourself in situations where youre exposed to women, hopefully women you want to have flings with... you should eventually build the practice/reps/experience whatever you want to call it to make it happen.

Kittech · 2021-07-16T19:00:56+00:00

I don't know if your city has a r4r subreddit, but my city (Atlanta) does and most of it is used for looking for hook ups. I thought it'd be a nice place to find some friends but it's mostly just horny men and cucks and couples and some chicks looking for some sex.

postertot · 2021-07-16T21:16:13+00:00

Get buffed.. it will help

LennyLeonardAndCarl · 2021-07-16T17:17:36+00:00

Any dating app 😂

MrSlippery92 · 2021-07-16T20:58:56+00:00

I find that it’s rare to get a solid FWB. One person will almost always fall for the other or just get bored. Also most women (unlike men) aren’t transactional when it comes to sex & they usually want something emotional/fun attached to it. This is usually in the form of a good time or a great date. With the exception of a small few, women feel like sluts when you merely use them for sex. I find this to be even true for women who say they want something casual: they usually expect you to take them on a fun date before you sleep together. Even when women say they just want a FWB they usually just mean they want to casually date a non-needy guy because of previous shitty & suffocating relationships.

My advice: get on apps, go on a date, hook up, & ask what she’s looking for. Most women who hook up with you on the first date aren’t looking for much. If they ask what you’re looking for, just tell them you aren’t looking for something serious & want to explore. Most of the time they’ll agree or you’ll weed out the needy ones.

RealHumanBeing2021 · 2021-07-16T19:43:38+00:00

All of the FWBs I’ve had really just occurred naturally. Most were met through dating apps and we kinda just both agreed that we were only looking for something casual… then things kinda just happened.

swiggityswirls · 2021-07-17T00:13:52+00:00

Apps in my opinion. Bumble and Tinder. If you're interesting then look for someone interesting, not dumbos. People you relate with and can actually be friends are good, get playfully sexual earlier. It's FRIENDS with benefits. So find a sexy and interesting friend.

Lord_Augastus · 2021-07-17T02:35:13+00:00

Go out and be more upfront and sexual. The physical aspect of flirting. You know, touch her, compliment her, sexualise conversation with topics etc. Chat, when the topic of what are you into, or what you are looking for comes up, openly say I am not looking for ny serious relationship, but I do like you and we can always see where thing head. Or be open about it and say that you like her lets go bck to your place. After sex, thats when you can discuss about friendship, or fwb ongoing relations. Usually my fwb, its like that, we have sex, do it again, and then formally agree to see each other regularly on a sexual level. Its important to be open and confident in your decision when opening up during piskup, you dont want to string women along, but being getting a fwb is more about being friends and sexual, than it is about long term life goals. So conversations should be fun, free, sexual, and connecting on a level of friendship.

2021-07-16T18:01:26+00:00

Are you really good looking? Show us a selfie.

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2021-07-16T18:36:07+00:00

What would be good places for me to meet girls and make this scenario a reality?

Ever heard of Tinder? or any of the other online dating apps?

2021-07-16T19:58:05+00:00

doesn't matter where you go, you just gotta communicate this to the women, I would just tell them you are not looking for anything serious and avoid the term friends with benefits that will probably make life easier for you

randomcritical · 2021-07-16T13:42:58+00:00

This sounds like a trainwreck waiting to happen....

Sultmaker_9000 · 2021-07-16T20:27:38+00:00

FWB's only happen after LTRs. You can give a girl the best smashing of her life, on an only sex basis probably 3 times at best before she gives up, she'll be expected to be taken out if you want to put her in a rotation with other girls.

Appropriate_Ad3327 · 2021-07-16T18:09:45+00:00

How tall are you? Just curious

SgtSplacker · 2021-07-17T01:03:41+00:00

First you get them to like you, then you disqualify yourself in a way you maintain your dignity and viola?

2021-07-17T01:31:08+00:00

Put it in your online dating profile that you’re looking for a FWB situation or casual dating. Easy.

LakersAreTerrible25 · 2021-07-17T01:57:26+00:00

FWB from contrary belief is very difficult to find. I've dated a lot of girls. But let's face it, it's more serious than just sex even if by definition it isn't a relationship. The point being try to find women you vibe with over just fucking. A good quality girl who has looks on top of that usually isn't gunna be down for FWB. I'm 21 and have experienced the game enough to realize this

Mob_Rules1994 · 2021-07-17T02:01:07+00:00

Try Doublelist

kittybrehbreh · 2021-07-17T02:22:59+00:00

Just start going out with them but don’t commit to anything

jones4thepeeps · 2021-07-17T03:36:22+00:00

Just dare multiple women and ask occasionally

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	311
Comments	102
Date	July 16, 2021 1:40 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/olh29s/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1280286 https://theredarchive.com/post/1280286

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