CMV: The game of waiting for sex hugely contributes to future dead bedrooms

OffTheRedSand · 2024-03-05T22:43:26+00:00

women shouldn't make the guy wait, but she also need to have a low body count. but she also need to lower her standards meaning more dates with more men which also means more sex but she needs to have a low body count. idk rigged game is rigged.

Safinated · 2024-03-05T22:42:43+00:00

Nope, it’s to weed out the low effort sex users

It’s not a perfect system, of course, but the impatient and lazy will go elsewhere

treadmarks · 2024-03-05T23:17:54+00:00

This just sounds like the slutty take on sex where it's only about pleasure and physical attraction. How do you know if you're "truly attracted" to someone after 2 dates? You barely know that person.

It's not that sex is only an incentive or a moral test, it's more like a special bond that you don't just share with everyone. Some level of trust and intimacy is required. Remember that the concept of chastity was due to risks like pregnancy and STDs, too.

KayRay1994 · 2024-03-05T22:11:28+00:00

Women truly can’t win here; keep him waiting for too long, you’re contributing to a future dead bedroom, sleep with him too early, you’re too easy.

Also, while I do agree that “make him wait” is a shitty strategy, I have a strong disagreement with your philosophy behind it, ie. “well if she is on multiple dates with him she must be DYING to do it, unless she grew up in a religious or misogynistic household ofc” - maybe she needs time to get comfortable with you, maybe at a personal value based level she doesn’t like the idea of sex before a relationship, maybe she’s had bad experiences with letting men in too early before, and maybe she just wants to see if she fully vibes with him first. Individuals have different sex drives and comfort levels.

My point is, there is really no wrong answer here, if you like her but she isn’t interested in sex yet - then you wait, if you’re not particularity into her personally and just want sex, just move on, you guys don’t want the same thing.

TRTGymBro · 2024-03-05T21:52:25+00:00

Remember! Men buy into this bullshit which is why women keep doing it. You all say stuff like "she has high n count, she slept with that good for nothing (insert racial/ethnic slur) bastard and hour after meeting him, what a dirty slut! I want a good girl, a wifey, who will make access to her vagina exclusive only to me".

Now that last part is virtually unrealistic for 99.99% of women because they have urges are not about to become celibate nuns. They will have sex with men they don't count as fast as they want, but once they meet Prince Charming, the guy who shows up as boyfriend material, their conditioning kicks in and they start playing hard to get.

That's why you gotta treat a whore like a queen and a queen like a whore.

SlothMonster9 · 2024-03-05T22:32:22+00:00

I think currently people don’t escalate bit by bit like they once did more often

Back in the 90s, a woman could be super hot for you but not sleep with you for a while

You might spend a month or more getting totally naked and doing everything but oral and vaginal

At least I understood the process and wasn’t pressuring, steady increase let me know what would eventually happen

It was super frustrating in a good way, when you finally “did it” the anticipation was such that both your brains would almost explode

It seems this isn’t nearly as common any more

Heck, the first few weeks might just be kissing for hours and rubbing on the outside of clothes

This was in a medium sized town and I targeted women that were not known as promiscuous

The red pill might say “nah she just wasn’t into you brah” but that’s BS

You have to be neuro spicey not to know when a woman wants you but is taking things a little slow

alwaysright12 · 2024-03-06T13:33:32+00:00

Men: women are sluts

Also men: why won't women fuck me?!

Eezay · 2024-03-06T09:52:33+00:00

At least anecdotally from my experience, you are 100% right about this. It's also become a huge red flag for me if a woman (excessively) does this and it's an almost certain predictor that she sees sex as 'functional tool' rather than more of a 'spiritual joining', she will be less likely to enjoy it and more likely to use it against you.

I can see women being reluctant to have sex on the first date or spontaneously hooking up on a night out and I don't think it is a problem. I might try to tease her a bit but I will respect her boundaries. But if I notice that despite her having huge desire, she consciously keeps herself from getting physical for multiple dates, I will rightly assume that we don't match and there is some trauma or narrative keeping her from trusting me and enjoying herself.

Also, while I can't speak for every guy, I think many women overestimate the increase in chances for a relationship if they don't sleep with the guy right away. At least for me, bad sex is a dealbreaker and good sex will definitely make me want to see her again. I've had hookups turn into something more long-term and I've had girls that waited for a few dates that I then dumped because the sex was not enjoyable.

So my take away for women is: Don't give a guy everything right away if you don't feel comfortable and confident in doing so, but don't weaponize sex either, it won't help your goals, rather hinder them.

Hubris1998 · 2024-03-05T22:07:34+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree. Having said that, women need to find the right balance between putting out too easily and ending up being used for sex and making the man wait for too long and ending up committing or getting attached before finding out if they're compatible. They shouldn't jump into it just because "it feels right" for them. It's also important to be consistent: either everyone waits or nobody does.

purplish_possum · 2024-03-05T21:06:14+00:00

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GlobeUnited · 2024-03-05T20:41:02+00:00

Is this just your theory, or is there evidence for this?

full_brick_package · 2024-03-06T05:01:13+00:00

I'll die on this hill. A percentage of men will stop trying to play women in the first place if we just decriminalize sex work FULLY.

On the flip side we also have to consider that it's a huge win for women to have the right to consent on the terms of money and to profit off of these horny men... i.e. something tangible is actually gained.

Acemanau · 2024-03-06T07:00:27+00:00

The current woman I'm dating and I slept on our first date.

We had been talking over text for a week and a half and were really into each other. Conversation flowed and there was plenty to talk about.

We both agreed it was probably too quick, but she told me she hadn't had sex in a long time after a shitty relationship and really needed it.

It's really circumstance based.

My previous relationship we slept on the second weekend we spent with each other.

apresonly · 2024-03-06T18:30:13+00:00

you'd have to show that couples who have sex immediately have more sex years into the relationship than couples who waited.

optimuscrymez · 2024-03-08T06:36:14+00:00

Yeah pretty much. If a woman can keep her hands off you for more than a date or two SHE IS NOT THAT PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU. PERIOD. THE END.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-03-05T22:52:32+00:00

It usually just means you have self control, there's no telling what you'll do when you're able to do what you want. Doing dry January doesn't mean you won't get drunk in February or want to.

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bluesweater678 · 2024-03-12T03:56:01+00:00

I feel like every guy has a different opinion about when/ how a woman should put out at this point. Some guys will get mad if she waits too late because they think they will have a “dead bedroom” relationship while other guys will get mad if she puts out too early and think she is a “whore” and get mad about her body count. I think people should do what they we want at the end of the day and just date/sleep with people who have similar opinions about body counts. For example if a women doesn’t care about body count and a guy asks her for it she probably shouldn’t sleep with him and move on because he would probably judge her. And if a guy isn’t happy with the girls timeline or when she wants to physically advance they are probably not compatible either. One person should not be putting in an act for another person just because they think they will get more “respect” for waiting. People should just be open and honest about their sexuality and date similar people accordingly

WilliamWyattD · 2024-03-06T00:23:14+00:00

It's also possible that the entire widespread monogamy regime we have lived under always involved a massive suppression of innate female sexuality and sexual selectivity. Thus, it is possible, that without open polygamy, the majority of women won't actually be able to partner and reproduce with a guy she has an overwhelming desire to have sex with. And maybe female collective wisdom understands this, so the advice to wait is to make sure that she is going to get the investment she wants for the sex she has to trade for it. Waiting also perhaps creates a rapport and other conditions that will make the sex more tolerable. Perhaps it even helps set the tone for the actual relationship, wherein the woman does NOT want to have to have sex every time he wants it. She may want to minimize how much sex she has to have, so signaling from the start that it is a scarce resource that he should not expect super regularly is important.

I dunno. Just conjecturing another possible angle here.

toasterchild · 2024-03-06T00:32:46+00:00

I live in a major metro in the midwest and that sort of advice basically doesn't exist here but if you travel out a few counties it's the go-to. This is more about advice from religious people being harmful than anything.

SwaySh0t · 2024-03-05T23:29:18+00:00

Women know what kind of guy they can play that game with vs what kinda the guy they can’t play that game with. If she’s making him wait then she’s implying either directly or indirectly through her actions that she doesn’t value him.

All of this is assuming she’s not low notch/virgin or religious.

oooo020201lfl · 2024-03-06T07:04:46+00:00

If she isn’t jumping on your shit by like the 2nd or 3rd time you hang then keep looking

ta06012022 · 2024-03-06T04:29:45+00:00

Is anyone actually doing this outside of religious communities? I'm sure there are outliers, but I've never actually heard of it irl. The norm is between dates 1 and 3.

operation-spot · 2024-03-06T06:03:57+00:00

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marcopolo3112 · 2024-03-06T10:27:29+00:00

It’s very simple. If a girl isn’t willing to be some level of intimate with you on a first date (touching, a kiss etc.) doesn’t have to necessarily be sex, but still says she wants to go out with you. She’s either a complete bore or thinks you’re a cool atm she can drain for a bit before ghosting. If a girl actually likes and desires you she would struggle to keep her hands off you. Waiting for intimacy is a joke dump them and find someone better because they’re probably just using you for free food. Any first date I’ve ever had that’s gone well at minimum ended in a kiss. I wouldn’t be caught dead dealing with this garbage from a girl.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-03-06T13:33:22+00:00

yeh thats a feature, not a bug. women shit test and compliance test over sex to ensure the man is able to be controlled regarding sex. a man who will wait is a man you can dead bedroom for life and hell stay. female W

Title	CMV: The game of waiting for sex hugely contributes to future dead bedrooms
Author	Mental_Leek_2806
Upvotes	31
Comments	160
Date	March 5, 2024 6:00 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1b7btzk/cmv_the_game_of_waiting_for_sex_hugely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-the-game-of-waiting-for-sex-hugely-contributes.1426444 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426444

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