Do any of you just ditch online dating altogether? I used to pick up girls on them all the time (~3 years ago) but now it feels like pulling teeth

CibrecaNA · 2017-08-12T15:08:28+00:00

I feel like online dating is for crazies.

Met one woman and she was batshit. Talking about 'inches and yards don't exist.'

I get you prefer the 'metric system' but good grief woman I'm trying to get laid.

econdweeb · 2017-08-12T14:14:06+00:00

Same. Before I met my ex , which was 4 years ago. It seemed like online dating was WAY easier. I was constantly getting dates and I would say I was at a worst place then than I am now. I was chunky, had acne, broke, and in college. But I was still somehow able to get constantly laid on there. Now I feel like I'm in the exact opposite situation and have way more trouble. I've been on like 6/7 dating sites/apps for like 2 months and have only had 2 dates

Kamtre · 2017-08-12T16:40:12+00:00

After being off tinder for 2 years it's become pretty shit. I don't even know what to say to women I match with without cringing after I send something. And usually the conversation might last 5-6 messages and I'll stop because there's no flow and I just couldn't be bothered.

As an introvert, I never thought I'd say that I actually prefer meeting people in person rather than texting them.

HorseMuzzle · 2017-08-12T15:16:04+00:00

Yep, online dating isn't what it used to be at all. Like a lot of the other people here, I've found that my success rate has severely dropped since like late-2015ish? Maybe even earlier than that, not sure if I'm remembering correctly. Being in college, I find it easier to meet girls in person now anyway

ThorLives · 2017-08-12T15:30:49+00:00

Guy here. I don't know what to think about Tinder anymore. I get very few matches, and the matches I do get either: don't respond when I message them, or quickly ghost the conversation for no apparent reason. I'm not doing anything weird or pushy. It's quite shocking to me how few women on Tinder actually seem like they want to date or meetup.

As for Bumble, it's a little better, but not by much. I paid for an upgrade that would let me see everyone who swiped-right on me, which is a major time-saver. But, I don't get very many women showing up in my "swiped right" list, and the ones who do are often quite unattractive. Every once in a while, I'll match with one of them, but they seem to fall into one of a few categories: the rare attractive girl who doesn't respond or ghosts out of the conversation, the okay girl that I'm kind of on the fence about and ends up being less attractive in person (on the rare situation where I actually meet her) and you kind of understand why she's on a dating app. The last girl I met from Bumble looked about 80% feminine and 20% masculine. I was kind of on the fence about her, and I wasn't too worried about her having a bit of masculine vibe. After talking to her for a bit, I met up with her (one of the rare ones who didn't ghost me, and was actually willing to meetup). Immediately on seeing her I thought, "She looks like a trans woman" and "She sort of looks like her pictures, but sort of not like her pictures. Were those pictures of someone else that looked similar to her?" Needless to say, nothing happened between us.

I've been trying to nail down what's wrong with online dating, and why women seem so disinterested, lazy, and flakey. I have a variety of theories on this ranging from "there are far more men than women on tinder, and women are acting entitled/privileged/lazy because of it" to "I'm too old for online dating and if I was younger, I'd have more success".

2017-08-12T14:23:12+00:00

I am just finding that the vast majority of responders to me are spam bots. It is like fewer and fewer real people are on them every day.

Tenth_X · 2017-08-12T18:26:56+00:00

Same here. Tinder was the last straw.

I understood that wasn't healthy, just cowardice, hiding behind a screen so I would not have to go and talk to real women. So I decided to stop all this shit, and spend all the time talking to flesh and blood women instead of tipying all those messages in vain.

And guess what ? I feel better. :)

iDidntReadOP · 2017-08-12T13:56:23+00:00

I do it for fun but honestly I don't have the "online dating success" look. Aka I'm not tall, crazy handsome nor clever enough in my bio/responses to garner any interest. In person I am pretty witty, charming, and most girls aren't as picky about height.

youlovethisish · 2017-08-12T17:24:04+00:00

There's one factor that determines your online dating success.

Physical Attractiveness.

If you're not in the top 10%, you're generally not going to get amazing results from online dating nowadays. It was better way back when it first started, but the market is atrociously saturated now and the main reason it's used is to gain validation.

Have it as a diversification of your prospects, but know that nothing replaces cold hard approaches and tight game.

2017-08-13T02:55:23+00:00

All I get are fatty matches, my state is a very fat state and the skinny women don't need to resort to internet dating.

2017-08-12T14:35:58+00:00

I had the realization you did recently too. When I first started Tinder about three years ago, I had a lot more luck getting laid. Now though I just use it sporadically. Recently met a girl on Bumble that I like surprisingly.

lifeson106 · 2017-08-13T02:21:21+00:00

I just counted today - in the past month I sent unique, thoughtful, witty messages to 98 different women on OKC. I received responses from 8 of them and went on 2 dates with 1 woman. My pictures are pretty decent and I think I've done a good job filling out a clever and interesting profile. I will say that I'm fairly attractive, but also considerably overweight.

A response rate of less than 10% is ridiculously crazy, that would be like if you talked to 10 girls on the street and 9 of them didn't even look at you or make eye contact or anything. Could you imagine? Most people will at least stop and have a polite conversation or acknowledge your existence.

Dating apps are too superficial and judgemental IMO. Not to mention most women get dozens or hundreds of messages every day, so it's easy for the thoughtful messages to get lost in the pile of garbage messages. With a response rate like <10%, it's so hard to continue putting in the effort to write thoughtful messages. So, women can complain about guys just saying "hey," but they continue fuelling that fire by not responding to the people who do put in more of an effort. No, I don't think you owe me anything because I put in some extra effort, I just want you to realize the negative effect you're creating for yourself and fellow women by not responding to the thoughtful messages. At least say something like, "I appreciate the thoughtful message, but I'm not interested." Most of us would appreciate the response and the feedback and will be more likely to continue to send thoughtful messages instead of giving up and being the next "hey" guy.

LimitedContributor · 2017-08-12T14:35:45+00:00

Can't believe I wasted my early-mid 20s on that bs. Online dating is a joke that ultimately stay true to its self.

UoAPUA · 2017-08-12T16:12:27+00:00

Online dating requires a certain subset of outer game that you haven't exactly learned from reading Models or watching RSD videos. It's definitely better to go out and work on having real life social interactions, but there's lots of cute girls swimming around online who are wondering why all the guys that message them are lame as fuck. If you can figure out how to not be another one of those guys, it's pretty easy fishing.

SpinPlates · 2017-08-12T19:12:35+00:00

Online dating is like regular approach except it's even more reliant on your looks.

If you're attractive and have a good social media presence Tinder (and only tinder, everything else is a waste of time) is bullshit.

matrix2002 · 2017-08-12T20:38:33+00:00

I have much more success in person and finding available women in my social circles.

Dating Apps can be fun, but it's more for entertainment than actually using it to find quality dates.

Maybe this is the problem, people just don't take them seriously anymore.

Clyde_Frag · 2017-08-12T21:03:20+00:00

Tinder was the shit until the middle of 2015 when the swipe limit was introduced. It was really the first app that had this idea of adding a step before messaging (swiping and matching) which made it have drastically more women on it than other dating sites.

Now a days I feel like Tinder's just over saturated with guys. Most girls I've hooked up with from it recently are the type that usually have a boyfriend but are experimenting with dating apps because they haven't been single for awhile (and so missed the dating app fad a few years ago).

Overall my advice to guys is to get the best pics possible and then don't take online dating very seriously. Girls are going to flake and waste your time but it can be a good passive way to meet girls, although I'd argue that you'd get hotter girls by virtually any other method that you can meet people.

NickiNicotine · 2017-08-12T18:12:33+00:00

The thing with online dating is it's a very low barrier to entry. If you meet a girl going out you guys get a feel for each other and you can tell if there's synergy there, and when you meet up there's context to the date, which is great. Meeting up with a Tinder date is just like "soo... we both have phones and like dogs". If you're just trying to bang it out though then that doesn't matter.

shakespeareSMG · 2017-08-13T00:20:03+00:00

The app was not designed for you to get a date it was designed to get the developers work and make them money.

It's taken an entitled attitude and made it worse.

But sometimes people get a hit and get a date.

Yes, you are not the only one. It's at it's worst right now but as we reach the bottom of the sine wave things will start to move in a better direction. I hope...

Taking to people in meat space is no longer as fun as it used to be but it doesn't stop me from trying.

I moved back to the states from Puerto Rico and I am looking to get back to a Spanish speaking locale.

Mexico, South America.

Obesity and drugs are not a problem and not one girl is depressed where many American women are on anti-depressants or several drugs and it shows.

curiousdude · 2017-08-13T01:25:10+00:00

Can any women who use online dating chime in? What changed in the last few years that may have caused the woes expressed in this thread?

grantmoore3d · 2017-08-12T21:12:47+00:00

No, but I've seriously considered just deleting all of the different apps I use. In the last year, I've been on about 6 dates and each of the women have been pretty mediocre with ridiculous expectations compared with women I've met in person in the past. I get a sense that women use it for validation and less about actually meeting people for fun.

edit: I should mention I've become a lot more selective in who I will date lately. If I match with an attractive girl and she responds with a one-word answer, I won't reply. My results are also lack of interest in putting in the effort to push a conversation along with someone who isn't reciprocating interest in the app.

-samadhi- · 2017-08-12T23:12:47+00:00

Okcupid is the only app I fuck with at this point. I'm a 7 so I put some thought/time into my profile and it seems to get favorable response. Overall it still isn't worth the effort.

mcr00sterdota · 2017-08-13T00:45:35+00:00

Last time I used Tinder which was earlier this year. Majority of girls are just their to pump up their tires and aren't actually looking to meet people.

souljabri557 · 2017-08-12T17:17:10+00:00

Idk, I get ridiculous results on Tinder and such, and it's super easy to set up dates. It's like a pipeline of free dates.

loosetingles · 2017-08-12T17:00:39+00:00

I just don't get why a lot of girls are on there if they aren't interested in putting in some effort or actually available/ interested in dating. It always seems like 6 back and forth messages of one or two word responses, then radio silence.

Ragnrok · 2017-08-12T18:24:39+00:00

I don't love online dating but I'm pretty good at getting dates with it so it's hard to quit.

2017-08-12T20:08:39+00:00

Every online date I went on turned out to be super creepy and possessive, I partly blame it on my particular taste in people (but only like 2% of the blame), I'm trained in some fighting styles I keep mace and brass knuckles on me at all times, but I'm still a 5'3" girl, I don't have a lot in my favor if something goes weong

decadearray · 2017-08-12T20:24:12+00:00

Check out brazilcupid fellas. Trust me.

2017-08-13T01:20:51+00:00

I haven't gotten anything on Tinder because my profile says "full-time student" and I don't think women looking for a 35 year old guy want to date a student... I also have shit for nice photos where I'm out in public with friends, so that hurts a bit too...

DJ_GiantMidget · 2017-08-13T05:14:47+00:00

I'm getting back into seduction after my breakup. I have been doing online dating but I am now wheening myself off of it and I couldn't be happier. But the more I stop the more women on there get into me

DirtyProjector · 2017-08-13T06:19:12+00:00

I used to go out on 3 dates a week from online dating. Now I barely can get one a month. I've met a few girls on it recently I like but for the most part it's frustrating.

Salted_Pretzel · 2017-08-13T14:31:24+00:00

I got catfished too many times. No more online dating, its a waste of time for me. I used to spend hours on OKC, answering those dumb questions, thinking

"This will defiantly get that girl to respond and go out with me"

NOPE! I used to see the same girls on there for years. I got the pro upgrade and it made things worse. Sure I can see if they saw my message and I can bump my profile so more people can see it but it wasn't worth it. That cute girl that I messaged? she read it but didn't respond. Ouch.

I used to spend hours writing the perfect profile. Taking tips from everywhere and getting critique from others. Nope, same results. Better pictures too. Nope, same thing.

It was stressful. I used to think it was unfair that a 6 can post a simple selfie and a vague profile and get swarmed with hundreds of messages. It was frustrating seeing the same girls on their, you message them again and again and nothing.

I finally went on a date with this cute girl that I have been messaging on and off. We meet, she's the opposite of her pictures, fat and ugly. I stick around for the date but in the back of my mind I'm frustrated.

"Is this how my dating life is? Spending countless hours trying to message women and get nothing in return?"

I said it fuck and deleted OKC and went on a meeting women in the daytime. It works, it challenges me, it forces me to get my shit together and improve myself. OP, get out of online dating and focus on meeting people in the real work.

GabbySeligman · 2017-08-12T20:01:32+00:00

I love online dating. I've met guys through POF, tinder, fetlife, craigslist, twitter, facebook, yahoo personals, christianmingles, ashleymadison, seekingarrangement, etc.

Some guys just fuck me and leave but others we get like a longer relationship going and it's kinda hot!

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