Is having sex on the first date something significant/important?

Kahunaloa · 2024-08-09T06:55:08+00:00

Aim to close but always aim to have a fun date as a priority.

myselfasevan · 2024-08-09T09:36:57+00:00

Don’t set any “rules” for yourself. This will put too much pressure on everything. Just focus on being authentic and natural and having a good time. Sex will usually come as a by-product of that. Whether it comes on the first date or the third date, it doesn’t really matter.

BXtherapist · 2024-08-09T07:00:04+00:00

At this stage in my life, whether it's casual or for real, I would rather take my time...And even then, that can be an issue lol

My point is lot of these bitches are crazy and will "trick" you into thinking your "game" was the reason you got some sex...

Meanwhile, they were planning to give it to you all along because that's the only way they can keep a man's attention...

The lower you make sex on your list of priorities, the easier it is for both parties

chronicideas · 2024-08-09T11:00:51+00:00

I like to reject sex on first date and make her wait for second and then have mind blowingly good sex second date to lock them in

-Twyptophan- · 2024-08-09T13:11:41+00:00

When I first started having some success, I had a small string of first dates that ended up in sex and it honestly screwed up my perception of how first dates should go. I think it subconsciously affected the way I acted on future first dates and messed up my chances with some women. I'd prefer to not bang on the first date now unless it's clearly an ONS.

Also just good to know someone a bit before you stick your dick in them. There might be a reason you don't want to that won't be obvious the first time you meet them.

zebekias · 2024-08-09T12:37:42+00:00

Don’t listen to nonsense about aiming for sex on the first date. Instead of pushing, let it come whenever, you should be escalating not because you are a hungry to hump her leg but because you can’t resist her seductive beauty/sexiness. If she objects to your escalation, stay cool “I understand” and try later. It’s a fine line to be escalating without putting pressure on her or you. It comes when it comes.

Plebe-Uchiha · 2024-08-09T08:51:30+00:00

Significant? Yes.

Important? No.

[+]

TripleDigitNomad · 2024-08-09T15:31:01+00:00

I always advocate for aiming for sex on the first date. Not for the weird manipulative reasons that those dating coaches seem to have given you, but rather because there's no reason to wait for the second date if it's possible to get it done on the first.

I'm not saying to expect sex on the first date, but rather simply aim for it. At the end of your drink with her for example, just invite her back to yours. She might say yes, she might say no, you'll never know until you ask. Girls want sex too, but you have to be the one to make the move, that's just how it is.

Now of course, in your living situation, it doesn't make sense to even ask in the first place so just forget about it and focus on building a connection with the girl so at some point you can comfortably bring her back to yours or go somewhere else with her.

TalkAway0 · 2024-08-09T15:00:23+00:00

Dating coaches are usually insecure men who make up their own rules of what they think wins a woman over and somehow they convinced other guys to believe them.

It’s pretty much irrelevant if you do or don’t fuck on the first date. She’s gonna want to see you again if she likes you and enjoyed your company. Yeah one of the things she likes could be that you had good sex but it can also be your personality,humor,intelligence etc. that makes her want to spend more time with you. I would argue that making first date sex your main priority is likely to deter some girls cause they may not be expecting you to push for that so quick and it could scare them off.

Imo I would take that advice as a red flag that the dating coach doesn’t know what he’s talking about and just sounds confident enough for it to sound like good advice. But yeah, good luck, just treat women well and make them smile and when it happens it happens

Pyroftw3 · 2024-08-09T12:38:36+00:00

They are positives and negatives :
+ you get laid. you know she is down to fuck you if she fucks you on first date and you will waste way less time then going on multiple dates, if she has more dates lined up and you fuck her first there is a chance she will not go meet or fuck someone else after that

she might diqualify you as a fuckboi or just a ONS if you try to fuck her first date and never see you again, even if you have sex on first date she might think of you as a player and therefore never think about you in a serious way

Most girls i fuck (80-90%) i fuck on first date because i try to fuck on first date and the attraction in that case is so high the girls don't want to miss the opportunity, also if you have a lot of dates planned it is actually better to try fuck first date because then if you don't you will have to plan another date with her and waste more energy and time on her.
Usually 2nd date the girl has to come to my place, i had that rule that on 3rd she has to come directly to my place or no date at all.
Now i do 2nd because if i meet a girl outside for the 2nd date i could have spend that time going on a first date with a new girl and i have a very good success rate with closing on first date so statiscly it is better for me to go on a new date.
And if i really like the girl(she likes me as well then) and vibe usually we can't wait to fuck so it ends up being first date anyway

AngledLuffa · 2024-08-09T15:31:48+00:00

There's also your own personal comfort to think about. If you don't shoot for the first date lay, you'll definitely miss out on women who expect that or even want that, but you'll also be more in tune with women who like to go a little slower.

I say that completely without judgment either way. I've definitely missed opportunities going to slow, and by the same token I've pushed away women by expecting too much too soon. (Or maybe that just helped clarify the situation when a woman wasn't actually interested in me... saved us all a lot of time in that case)

precense_ · 2024-08-09T18:13:26+00:00

Not important, manage your expectations or your emotions will get the better of you. Your aim on your first date is to make her feel safe and comfortable to trust you so that you can engage her emotionally.

nunsaymoo · 2024-08-10T06:30:03+00:00

So a while ago I heard from a dating coach that if possible you should always aim to have sex on the first date cause It has various advantages such as that the woman will stick with you after the first time you have sex and will want to see you again or that the woman (if she has never slept with anyone on the first date before) will think you are special.

If you like low-value women.

GymBroTRT · 2024-08-09T10:35:57+00:00

It’s a really retarded idea like most ideas that came out of pickup. Such as “you have to put your hands on a woman within 5 seconds of meeting her”. And “you should always be displaying high value” and all this crap.

By aiming to have sex with her on the first date, you are making her sex the prize. The trophy you are so desperately trying to win. This is absolutely the worst way to go about things.

mredge73 · 2024-08-09T13:17:38+00:00

In my opinion, the date count significance is relative to your goal. If you just want to get laid, first date sex matters. This is a rare event even when she has an itch that needs scratching. If you want to be seen as a special boy or whatever, you must be looking for a long-term relationship. I would concentrate on getting in more dates close together than on getting laid. If you develop great chemistry, it will happen soon. Don't over commit without a sexual connection. Get in the first 3 dates in short succession, then air it out if you aren't making a physical connection.

McPigg · 2024-08-09T15:00:42+00:00

Its nice to have but not a neccesity, and if you pressure her/yourself for it, it will shoot the whole thing in the foot. I do think it becomes more of a big deal and thud more difficult then it needs to be if you wait too long or dont escalate things out of insecurity.

freudweeks · 2024-08-09T15:47:35+00:00

IME it's not so much about how fast you have sex, as it about whether you have sex as early as she subtly asks for it. If she offers herself up to you, and you don't take the opportunity, you will probably not hear from her again. You're playing catch-up there and you have to make sure she knows you know what went wrong or she's going to think you rejected her and get pissed. If she doesn't and the date goes well, you will.

It is true that a lot of girls get more attached when they smash. That can be a bad or good thing depending on what you want from her.

Ares762 · 2024-08-09T16:05:03+00:00

Head_Harbinger · 2024-08-09T16:06:23+00:00

Nah, whether you had sex with her or not, we’re just as disposable. Most of the time it doesn’t make a difference in whether she sticks with you or not

blue_barracuda · 2024-08-09T18:33:38+00:00

Everyone is different. For some folks, physical touch is very important so getting it on is something you can bond over. For others, they need to feel more comfortable getting to know each other first

Shadow__Account · 2024-08-09T20:46:04+00:00

I think if you have problems showing intent, aim to have sex on the first date. If you are a sexual being and you don’t have problems showing intent and maybe are too needy, aim to not be to needy and build some sexual tension and kiss but not go for sex necessarily on the first date.

cemj86 · 2024-08-10T04:07:30+00:00

My aim is between the first and second meet. No dates unless it's someone I've been physical with besides the typical meet and greet coffee or drink usually for women I've met on an app.

It's a great gauge for me.

Most women I meet with I'm always going to flirt and escalate sooner rather than later. Less wasted time.

ThotBubble · 2024-08-10T04:59:10+00:00

Well yeah if I’m shooting a basketball I’m always trying to make it but if I don’t it’s no biggie I just take another shot

Alternativninacin · 2024-08-10T06:22:59+00:00

At least you can get laid I'm a male virgin at 28.

PigletGreedy2195 · 2024-08-10T14:43:13+00:00

Who cares if she’s had better. What matters is if you are having a good time.

TroyJack · 2024-08-10T20:30:50+00:00

About 8-10 years ago during my "ho phase" (and when dating apps were still somewhat new), I somehow ended up having sex with a handful of women after our first date. Only one involved alcohol. They just got caught up in the moment. None of them lasted long in terms of long term relationships. One wanted me to stay in touch (probably because I made her orgasm just by sucking on her nipples) but, for me, it felt kind of shitty and (looking back), I bet some of the women regretted it because they didn't have enough time to build a deep connection with me.

Moral of the story: Sex on the first date is overrated. Unless its her idea I would not try to be too sexual. Show interest in her and be playful but don't come on too strong with the sexual talk. Match her energy or pull back a tiny bit so she is unsure of where you stand.

czfreak · 2024-08-11T04:28:57+00:00

Why do you care what other people think about this? If you want to fuck on the first date than make it happen. If youre not feeling it then dont

rzerx · 2024-08-11T13:34:40+00:00

Sex on the 1st date is more rare than you think. Don't aim for that, just aim to have fun. If you aim for sex on the 1st date it will likely backfire in that it'll creep out the female and you'll end up losing this her for good. Seen it a million times.

EfficientTonight1228 · 2024-08-09T12:15:39+00:00

i myself didn‘t even kiss on my first date with my bf. most women who want something serious won‘t hop into bed with you on a first date

Spiritual_Word_7288 · 2024-08-09T11:22:56+00:00

That is the worst advice he could have given you, and we now question his capability as a dating coach.

So we are a group of players and dating coaches determined to help people just like you in improving their game, gaining confidence around women, becoming more assertive, and achieving success with women.

Having sex on the first date will actually have a bad effect on your chances to have a good relationship with her afterwards (that is if you are looking for a serious relationship). If all you want from her is to get her into bed, then by all means, do it on the first date.
However if you want her for real, sex on the first date is not only unimportant, but also might be a bad idea.
By not hooking up with her on the first date, you show her that you are patient, that you are interested in her in a serious matter, and that you are not looking to just have sex.
Furthermore she will start to question why didnt you push to that direction as most men do.
That will make her see you in a different light than other men.
And eventually will make her want you even more.

We created the perfect playbook which has already helped around 10k men worldwide. however we really hate selling through this platform so what i would advise you to do is follow our new instagram for daily content that will give you insights about what you are looking for. (all the links in our profile).

Dynamix86 · 2024-08-09T13:53:28+00:00

Even if you could have sex with her on a first date, is that the type of woman you want as the mother of your children?

Sandvicheater · 2024-08-10T08:09:36+00:00

If she's sleeps with you on a 1st date, Either she's a turbo slut or you were just that handsome and charming she broke her own no sex after 3 dates rules and made an exception with you.

Title	Is having sex on the first date something significant/important?
Author	AndalusianMitsubishi
Upvotes	98
Comments	72
Date	August 9, 2024 6:44 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1enszdh/is_having_sex_on_the_first_date_something/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-having-sex-on-the-first-date-something.1526771 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526771

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